TrevorDia Posted January 9, 2016 Share Posted January 9, 2016 Hi all, I met this girl on a dating site in August. She's about 70 miles away and we've both got really busy schedules so we haven't actually managed to meet yet (we were meant to meet tomorrow, but I'll explain that as I go). We talk most days by phone, but this week or so we haven't been getting on so hot - it seems every message I send she either takes it as being passive-aggressive or she'll answer yes/no - so I made the bad move of voicing my thoughts to her and saying that I think she's bored of me, and she started getting defensive and we're kinda stuck in a rut right now. As I said, we're both busy - we've both actually started new jobs this week, and we decided it would be nice that if after our first week of work we should go on a date, so we arranged to spend all of Sunday together (I'm supposed to be going over to see her). But this week since we arranged it she's been a bit distant. I didn't want to be THAT guy who overanalyses plans, but I wanted to at least make sure we were still on for Sunday, so I keep dropping hints and nudges to bring it up organically, but she hasn't mentioned it once or even eluded to it. I don't really know where I stand with her anymore. She says she still likes me and sees us as "more than friends" but she'd never expand beyond that which is fine, but her actions go completely against that!! I'd ask her what's going on between us, but it might come off as a relationship talk and we're waaaaay too soon for that considering we've not even MET yet. It kinda sucks though, I was really looking forward to tomorrow and it's seemingly gone completely off her radar. So the only conclusion I can come to is that she's bored of me but won't say it because she's too polite (she really is incredibly polite). I don't know how to bring this up without it turning into another reason for her to go off in a huff. If anyone has any advice, it would be gratefully received! Link to post Share on other sites
TMichaels Posted January 9, 2016 Share Posted January 9, 2016 I don't know how to bring this up without it turning into another reason for her to go off in a huff. If anyone has any advice, it would be gratefully received! Text her and say: "Are we still on for tomorrow? If so, how about meeting @ "X" o'clock at "location?" Isn't that all you need to know? Doesn't seem like rocket science to me. Best, TMichaels Link to post Share on other sites
Author TrevorDia Posted January 9, 2016 Author Share Posted January 9, 2016 Text her and say: "Are we still on for tomorrow? If so, how about meeting @ "X" o'clock at "location?" Isn't that all you need to know? Doesn't seem like rocket science to me. Best, TMichaels That's what I meant by dropping hints. Every time I bring it up she just ignores the question and moves onto another topic... kinda indicative of a "No" as far as I can see Link to post Share on other sites
TMichaels Posted January 10, 2016 Share Posted January 10, 2016 (edited) That's what I meant by dropping hints. Every time I bring it up she just ignores the question and moves onto another topic... kinda indicative of a "No" as far as I can see "Dropping hints" is when you say something like: "I see ABC band is going to be performing next Saturday in (her town). I sure would like to go see them." If she ignores that kind of comment and changes the subject the reasons could be many ranging from she doesn't care for the group to she's dumber than a post and didn't catch on to the fact you had dropped a hint. Total radio silence in response to a direct question like: "Are we still on for tomorrow? How about we meet @"X" o'clock at (location)?" is a totally different matter. Obviously, if she evades answering that kind of question or avoids making any sort of commitment, she has no interest in meeting up. IF you've asked a direct question like the one above and she's brushed you off, then you're the one that should be taking the hint. In fact, I wouldn't even call it a "hint" -- her behavior pretty well says she has no interest. Move on -- no explanation necessary. HTH, TMichaels P.S. You didn't make a bad move by telling her you were confused by her behavior/responses to your questions. Sounds like she's acting like a twit. If you can't ask a simple question and get a simple answer at this stage when the two of you aren't even invested, I can't imagine the two of you making it in the long run. As I said before, if I were you, I'd cut my losses and move on. Edited January 10, 2016 by TMichaels Link to post Share on other sites
Author TrevorDia Posted January 10, 2016 Author Share Posted January 10, 2016 "Dropping hints" is when you say something like: "I see ABC band is going to be performing next Saturday in (her town). I sure would like to go see them." If she ignores that kind of comment and changes the subject the reasons could be many ranging from she doesn't care for the group to she's dumber than a post and didn't catch on to the fact you had dropped a hint. Total radio silence in response to a direct question like: "Are we till on for tomorrow? How about we meet @"X" o'clock at (location)?" is a totally different matter. Obviously, if she evades answering that kind of question or avoids making any sort of commitment, she has no interest in meeting up. IF you've asked a direct question like the one above and she's brushed you off, then you're the one that should be taking the hint. In fact, I wouldn't even call it a "hint" -- her behavior pretty well says she has no interest. Move on -- no explanation necessary. HTH, TMichaels P.S. You didn't make a bad move by telling her you were confused by her behavior/responses to your questions. Sounds like she's acting like a twit. If you can't ask a simple question and get a simple answer at this stage when the two of you aren't even invested, I can't imagine the two of you making it in the long run. As I said before, if I were you, I'd cut my losses and move on. I'll be honest mate, you hit the nail on the head there! I thought very similarly but I didn't want to cut and run without at least making sure that cutting my losses is the best move. You're right, and I shall be taking that advice. Thanks Link to post Share on other sites
justwhoiam Posted January 17, 2016 Share Posted January 17, 2016 So, it is Sunday, did you go see her? How far are you from one another? And how old are you both? Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts