Suicide because a man can't attract women.

[kathoga]

If a man has tried everything to improve himself and he keeps getting turned down by women (never past the first date), is that a good reason to commit suicide?

 

Let's say this man is average looks, not a slob, not a social nitwit, has a job, no kids, no divorce, and nothing that shouts "run away"...but he gets the same response from every woman he dates which is "there wasn't a spark" or "your vibe says we'd be good friends".

 

Suicide seems extreme, but what kind of life is it without love or at least physical intimacy with another human being? I think if a woman doesn't want to at least kiss on the first date, you might as well delete her number because that's the friend zone.

 

Can any of you accept $10,000,000 but never ever have sex, kiss, or be in a romantic relationship of any kind for the rest of your life? It's part of being human. If a man can't attract a woman, then he's not a man and killing oneself will prevent a life of loneliness, jealousy (everybody else is doing it or have someone), and anger.

[Wisecrack]

What a load of cows dung. So you place your happiness and approval in the hands of someone else and would even consider ending your life over it? How old are you mate? Honestly the world is your oyster and yet because you can't get a girl you wallow in your self pity.

 

Ever thought about travelling? About quitting your job and starting somewhere a new? A fresh start somewhere else? The world is full of things that if you were in a relationship, you would not be able to experience.

 

I honestly do not think you have really tried to improve yourself because someone who does, does not focus on the extrinsic but the intrinsic. You have to really BELIEVE in yourself. You have to have something you are striving towards; an intrinsic ambition because in finding why you were popped out onto this planet, you find happiness in chasing your dream or at the very least, peace. And guess what the ironic thing is; when you stop focussing on woman, you seem to atttract more woman.

 

Last thought; there are many girls who don't kiss on first dates so as not to seem desperate.

[basil67]

Have you tried a dating coach? Not one which involves 'pick up artist' stuff, but someone who will tell you where you're going wrong attracting women and give you strategies to correct it.

[Buddhist]

No it's not reason for suicide, it's called being overly dramatic and blowing the role of love relationships way out of proportion. There are many people in the world who never find love, those born horribly disfigured, those suffer accidents etc. None of these people find it necessary to commit suicide over failing to attract a woman/man. I have just spent 5yrs entirely on my own, not so much as a date, no sex in that time. It didn't make me want to throw myself off a cliff.

 

This is indicative of the myth constantly surrounding love relationships in the first world. That its the be all and end all and the measure of your existence whether or not your are attractive to a lot of other people. First world problem? Most certainly, and a sign really that there is no other struggle going on in your life hence you choose to focus on something as trivial as this.

 

My advice would be learn to appreciate the fact that nothing else is really going wrong in your life if not getting past a first date is your biggest problem.

[Rejected Rosebud]

I bet you are still pretty young and some day in your future that you can't even conceive of today, you'll look back and laugh that you'd ever have the idea of ending your life because of dating troubles. I really am not making light of your feelings but life has so much to offer you that you haven't even imagined yet!!

 

Social troubles can be worked on, you should, it might not be your first choice of how to spend your time but you'll be glad you did.

 

In the mean time, enjoy all the wonderful parts of life on this world that you CAN enjoy right now even without attracting women!!

[truth_seeker]

if this real, then you need to know right now that anyone, and I mean ANYONE, no matter what you look like, can get laid.

 

If you're willing to spend money, there are women who will sleep with you. If you have no morals, there are plenty of immoral people looking to cheat. If you have no standards, go into any bar tonight and there will be someone just like you, angry, horny and lonely, looking for a meaningless hook up.

 

Getting laid shouldn't be a problem for anyone.

[katiegrl]

If a man has tried everything to improve himself and he keeps getting turned down by women (never past the first date), is that a good reason to commit suicide?

 

Let's say this man is average looks, not a slob, not a social nitwit, has a job, no kids, no divorce, and nothing that shouts "run away"...but he gets the same response from every woman he dates which is "there wasn't a spark" or "your vibe says we'd be good friends".

 

Suicide seems extreme, but what kind of life is it without love or at least physical intimacy with another human being? I think if a woman doesn't want to at least kiss on the first date, you might as well delete her number because that's the friend zone.

 

Can any of you accept $10,000,000 but never ever have sex, kiss, or be in a romantic relationship of any kind for the rest of your life? It's part of being human. If a man can't attract a woman, then he's not a man and killing oneself will prevent a life of loneliness, jealousy (everybody else is doing it or have someone), and anger.

 

There are many many people who live a very full, happy and exciting life SINGLE.

 

Just read this forum...., there are loads of posters who have no desire to be in a relationship.....and are very happy and fulfilled.

 

A relationship should not *be* your life ...if you are lucky enough to meet someone with whom you wish to share your life, then a relationship should *enhance* your already happy life.

 

Learn to be happy and fulfilled *within yourself* FIRST .....people are attracted to positivity....this talk about committing suicide excudes negativity and women will sense that, and run from it.

 

Which seems to be precisely what is happening now.

 

And if you're depressed, seek therapy. I did!

 

Good luck.

[basil67]

There are many people in the world who never find love, those born horribly disfigured, those suffer accidents etc. None of these people find it necessary to commit suicide over failing to attract a woman/man.

 

To be fair, I think you underestimate the lonliness and isolation that those with significant disability can have. While they may not be suicidal, it can be really crap being ignored and ostracised by so many in society.

 

Here's a good example Jordon Milroy with Cerebral Palsy shows how people treat a person with the disability | Daily Mail Online

[kathoga]

Not can't get A girl... can't get girls.

 

If relationships weren't so important, why do celebrities and rich people keep getting married or dating different people? Why aren't they just traveling, pursuing their passions, etc. It's because life is ****ty when you're alone. Sure, a man can have a bunch of male and female friends, but when his male friends start talking about the girl they've been seeing 6 months or your female friends gushes about her evening with this guy, it...will...suck.

 

There are lots of things that I'm passionate about and that's what keeps me going (so far). But it's very confusing and depressing when I think a woman and I have a connection, but she sees nothing romantic between us. What is this "vibe" females are looking for? First dates are awkward...can't a guy get a pass or two if he makes minor blunders?

 

I went to the gym (even though I was never fat) and have an athletic body. I don't have anything weird going on with my face except I have a few acne scars from years ago but it's not horrible. I don't dress like a GQ model but my clothes fit and look nice. I don't stink or have disgusting habits. And I'm very upbeat when I'm out socializing or on a date. I don't say depressing stuff or complain. Surely, there's a small percentage of the billions of women out there that would go further than one date with me. Where are they?

 

The money I spend on first dates, I should just buy a prostitute.

[Buddhist]

To be fair, I think you underestimate the lonliness and isolation that those with significant disability can have. While they may not be suicidal, it can be really crap being ignored and ostracised by so many in society.

 

Here's a good example Jordon Milroy with Cerebral Palsy shows how people treat a person with the disability | Daily Mail Online

 

To be fair, that isn't the point of this thread nor the point I was trying to make. I'm saying there are many people in the world with real concerns (such as disability) who somehow find the strength to live their lives.

 

As the OP said being lonely sucks....why yes it does. But it's not something to end your life over.

Edited January 10, 2016 by Buddhist

[katiegrl]

Celebrities and *rich* people who run from one relationship to another.... are among the most insecure and emotionally dysfunctional people on the face of the earth.

[kathoga]

If I couldn't attract women because of a disability or because I looked like a cockroach, then I wouldn't be suicidal. The reason for rejection would be known. I'm a logical person. The majority of women aren't attracted to disabled people or guys that are ugly as sin.

 

I'm suicidal because there's nothing inherently wrong with me. There's this mystical vibe that I just don't get and it depresses me because I can't fix it. I make people laugh, I start conversations and get people in groups to talk. Guys like hanging with me. But not women...I'm not worthy of a second date.

[Wewon]

If a man has tried everything to improve himself and he keeps getting turned down by women (never past the first date), is that a good reason to commit suicide?

 

 

Nope.

 

There is too much hope and too many other things that I would immerse myself to. Believe it or not, there are other options in life, not to mention that there is always a chance of meeting someone.

[kathoga]

I would like for some ladies to chime in on what their definition of vibe is and list some things they rejected a guy for in the past.

 

I'll be honest if any of these things I've done or do.

[preraph]

I would just say if you think that's the only thing worth living for, that you are not bothering to go out and do things and have interests and follow passions and that you are unhappy and waiting on someone to "make you happy," which another person cannot do if you aren't happy to begin with. You need to get interested in some passions and hobbies, take up an instrument, do volunteer work to put your plight in perspective, and stop sitting around wallowing because you can't get laid or find love. You have to be fun or interesting to attract people, so that's on you to get that way. Good luck, and I mean that. You need to change yourself into a living person and stop waiting for love to start living.

[carhill]

No woman is worth your life.

[basil67]

I would like for some ladies to chime in on what their definition of vibe is and list some things they rejected a guy for in the past.

 

I'll be honest if any of these things I've done or do.

 

That's easy - he's got to flirt with me. If he treats me as if I'm desirable, then I'm more likely to desire him.

 

Guys who treat me as a friend get that vibe back in return.

[Buddhist]

I would like for some ladies to chime in on what their definition of vibe is and list some things they rejected a guy for in the past.

 

I'll be honest if any of these things I've done or do.

 

Sure. This thread gives off a vibe of you being a self-pitying individual who lacks perspective in life. Here's a thought, maybe you're not as attractive and all together as you think you are. As for the mystical vibe here's what it is.....

 

You can fake happiness and smile as much as you like, you can pretend to be upbeat in life. But all of that fools absolutely no-one. People can smell insecurity, unhappiness and desperation from a very great distance. That is what people are getting from you, whether you want to believe it or not.

 

You're not the first guy on here to post.....I"m a great looking, confident, successful man but I can't get a woman and have no idea why. And yet every time one of these threads start up it's obvious to everyone who reads it what the problem is.

 

Hint - it's usually the very negative attitudes expressed by the OP, and often a desire to blame something other than themselves for their situation.

[kathoga]

Okay, Buddhist... how many people have committed suicide and family/friends are shocked? If what you're saying is true, everyone has this BS detector and they can read my deep, dark, personal insecurities.

 

I never said I was great looking. But I won't break any mirrors.

 

It's really hard NOT to be negative when I put so much effort in trying to improve myself.

[Rejected Rosebud]

Not can't get A girl... can't get girls.

 

If relationships weren't so important, why do celebrities and rich people keep getting married or dating different people? Why aren't they just traveling, pursuing their passions, etc. It's because life is ****ty when you're alone.

Wait ... what do celebrities and rich people have to do with it?? Also, people don't have relationships because life is sh***y when they don't - healthy people anyway have them because relationships make their life BETTER. Their life that was already good to start with.

 

The money I spend on first dates, I should just buy a prostitute.

Definitely you should, if that's your attitude about dating!!

[kathoga]

Wait ... what do celebrities and rich people have to do with it??

 

I was responding to the comment that there's so much more to life than relationships. If that's true, why do people with millions of dollars keep getting married and dating someone new every month? They can do so much that the average person can't.

 

And my answer was because no matter how much money and freedom you have to do what you want, being with somebody whether it's sexual or long-term is a driving need of what it means to be human. My need for romantic companionship is not being met, so no matter what else I have going on in my life, there's still a deficit.

[TunaCat]

That is one of the most superficial reasons to commit suicide.

 

I have had ONE relationship. ONE first date. I have only ever been out with one person.

 

Does that mean I should be depressed and suicidal?

 

Even factoring in the fact that I use a wheelchair doesn't depress me, doesn't make me want to commit suicide.

 

Yes, I would love to be in a relationship, but I don't get depressed/suicidal over that.

[Curious-One]

Dont ever judge someone until you walked a mile in their shoes.

 

 

Nobody can really understand how OP feels...many of you make it seem like its not the end of the world but only OP know what it truly feels to be in his situation. Its like this we all know if someone punches you in the ball sack it hurts like a mofo and its not a fun experience but you really have no clue how truly bad it is until you actually get punched in the nut sack.

 

OP i say work on yourself build your wealth and then just go to a foreign country and like thiland and pickout a girl to marry.

[Zapbasket]

Not can't get A girl... can't get girls.

 

If relationships weren't so important, why do celebrities and rich people keep getting married or dating different people? Why aren't they just traveling, pursuing their passions, etc. It's because life is ****ty when you're alone. Sure, a man can have a bunch of male and female friends, but when his male friends start talking about the girl they've been seeing 6 months or your female friends gushes about her evening with this guy, it...will...suck.

 

There are lots of things that I'm passionate about and that's what keeps me going (so far). But it's very confusing and depressing when I think a woman and I have a connection, but she sees nothing romantic between us. What is this "vibe" females are looking for? First dates are awkward...can't a guy get a pass or two if he makes minor blunders?

 

I went to the gym (even though I was never fat) and have an athletic body. I don't have anything weird going on with my face except I have a few acne scars from years ago but it's not horrible. I don't dress like a GQ model but my clothes fit and look nice. I don't stink or have disgusting habits. And I'm very upbeat when I'm out socializing or on a date. I don't say depressing stuff or complain. Surely, there's a small percentage of the billions of women out there that would go further than one date with me. Where are they?

 

The money I spend on first dates, I should just buy a prostitute.

 

Let's talk numbers. Give me numbers of how many women to date have turned you down. Then give me numbers of how many women YOU either turned down or didn't pursue for lack of interest or lack of self-confidence. THEN give me numbers of how many women live within a 100-mile radius of you. And finally, go look up the number of women (roughly) on this whole planet of 7 billion people.

 

No matter how you slice it, the "big picture" here is that perhaps you HAVEN'T GOTTEN GIRLS WHOM YOU HAVE ACTUALLY PURSUED. That's one heck of a small big picture. So, absolutely not, you don't go end your life because of a handful of human beings on the planet who rejected you superficially (as in, you didn't have significant relationships with any of them).

 

The real big picture is that dating is HARD for every single one of us. If you're exceptionally beautiful, then it's difficult for one set of reasons. If you're exceptionally outgoing, it's difficult for another set of reasons. If you're skinny it's difficult; if you're obese it's difficult. That's why there is so much dating advice and so many dating forums out there. DATING IS NOT EASY, PERIOD. And more often than not, the most homely, least personable, least interesting people among us find happiness in romance, proving that there is hope for us all.

 

Relax, enjoy your life, keep working on improving yourself physically, intellectually and emotionally, and everything will fall into place eventually.

 

Remember, also, that not everyone who is romantically paired off is in a happy, healthy relationship or feeling happy and fulfilled in it.

[Buddhist]

Dont ever judge someone until you walked a mile in their shoes.

 

Nobody can really understand how OP feels...many of you make it seem like its not the end of the world but only OP know what it truly feels to be in his situation.

 

Nice cliche but no cigar on this one. One in four people become seriously depressed in their lifetime, perhaps not over the exact same issue, but depression feels the same no matter the cause of it. I've been depressed to point of planning my own suicide. Hence why I think I can speak on the matter. It took me over 5yrs to come out of a 10yr depression cycle. Thats one third of my life feeling like the OP does. I've walked more than a mile in his shoes thanks.

 

I also know that no matter what anyone writes here it's all going to feel like a 'sucks to be you' sentiment to the OP. He has lost perspective, that's what depression is all about. It's blowing a problem up huge by obsessing about it until life loses it's flavour in all directions and a sense of hopelessness sets in. I also know that when you are in a depressive cycle you are generally clueless about how you are coming off to other people and don't understand why others distance themselves. It feels like a conspiracy, unjust, unfair behaviour. Yet it's not until you are beyond depression that you see yourself in others and think.....of course! I wouldn't want to be around that either.

 

What depressives generally do is argue their point until it's a dead stinking maggot infested horse. Whenever someone offers a solution or insight, they argue why that person is wrong. They don't move from their perspective or consider other points of view. They are wilfully intent on proving why their perspective is the right one. We've seen plenty of that in this thread.