shaftyrambone Posted June 4, 2005 Share Posted June 4, 2005 Hey the oddest (& most horrifying) thing(s) happened to me lately, First thingz first I'm 27 yrs old and have been married to the most (well almost) glorious woman for the last 7 yrs on aug 1. She made a 3 month long "mistake" in nov with a MM at work. He had her fired when she called "it" off for the 2nd & final time. We are all flawed and here is my new found crack, (go ahead and laugh ha ha ha) I no longer can keep "it" up when I play with Mr.happy (by myself). He performs for her just fine but sadly not for me Right after I was notified of her overtime activities by an angry stranger "MM's wife" and confronted her (my wife) about this terrible lie that couldn't be true! The gig was up, she wouldn't look at me and i knew then :{ :< .When we finally started talking (i mostly yelled) she said.... (are u sitting down....OK..good) I cheated first years earlier at a friends bday party / kegger that I attended while she stayed home with our first born son his name is Tyler he's now 6! oh sorry back to my story Long story well.... long. I said that i wished I had but didn't (truthfully i'm glad i kept my hands and mouth to myself) then she said my "man-handling myself" was cheating!? I was abused as a little one and learned to cope by masturbating. This hurt me deeply and I know she didn't understand why I did "it" just that i did it period. There was a time right after our first was born where we didn't have sex at all..... I thought it was me, she said it was her. I felt unattractive & thats not like me because im SOOOOO handsome! jk just funny.....looking hahaha, but seriously it stressed me out ( I didn't know about post-par-tum dep then) I was clue-less! duh. After her comment i've been taking a hands off approach unless we know about it before or tell after. P.S. this whole time she had been telling me that she'd NEVER played with herself EVER without telling me, then confessed she has been fingering i mean figuring out thingz by herself sense her dp 6yr ago....because she was mad at Mr. Happy & I for kickin without her. I know I'm whacked for not seeing it as the same thing.....here it comes.."BUT" when i was "coping" I was hiding my inability to communicate. We would share or talk about it when it's for gratification. (its 2 completely different experances for me) Man for being together for 9+ yrs i don't know much do i? can anybody HELP I need just one more private show "to get my confidence back. Link to post Share on other sites
Marshbear Posted June 4, 2005 Share Posted June 4, 2005 I can't believe this post. Your wife and cheated on you at least twice ( that you know of ) and all you can talk about is the fact that Mr. happy won't come up and play with you. She says that your masturbation is the cause of her straying. You both need help. More than I can give you here. Seek counseling. Peace... Link to post Share on other sites
westernxer Posted June 4, 2005 Share Posted June 4, 2005 Talk about trailer trash... Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted June 4, 2005 Share Posted June 4, 2005 Long story well.... long. I said that i wished I had but didn't (truthfully i'm glad i kept my hands and mouth to myself) then she said my "man-handling myself" was cheating!? I was abused as a little one and learned to cope by masturbating. This hurt me deeply and I know she didn't understand why I did "it" just that i did it period. There was a time right after our first was born where we didn't have sex at all..... I thought it was me, she said it was her. Sorry to be harsh but your wife is full of s***. She actually said that you masterbating on your own is like cheating??? Uhmmm, masterbating is not cheating. HER AFFAIR IS CHEATING. WTF? She has issues okay, and she's putting all the blame on you. That's bullcrap buddy. I bet she's gonna say she went elsewhere CUZ you masterbated. OK, I guess fingering herself doesn't count as alone time and her own personal pleasure. I don't understand your full post here. Did you two get to marriage councilling? If not, GO and work this out. Together. This is more than masterbation issues, she has serious CONTROL issues going on here. What you do alone with your body is your business. Married or not! It is normal to masterbate. Link to post Share on other sites
lindya Posted June 5, 2005 Share Posted June 5, 2005 Originally posted by Marshbear I can't believe this post. Quite. Link to post Share on other sites
westernxer Posted June 5, 2005 Share Posted June 5, 2005 I think this is fake. Link to post Share on other sites
Author shaftyrambone Posted June 5, 2005 Author Share Posted June 5, 2005 Sad but it's true and this isn't ALL i can talk about. What can i say u haven't already heard? just because i didn't talk about the hurt, pain, betrayal, constantly feeling alone even in a crowded room as if someone reached in to the very fiber of my being and ripped my soul in half? WTF, I am a member of the human race with feelings & emotions. I thought the point of this site was for the healed to help the hurting! Am I wrong? I need help regaining my self-confidence not to rub one out every time I'm alone. If I was THAT shallow no wonder she stepped out on me. their are so many other factors involved in this predicament we're in. It's NOT funny. No we haven't received counceling yet. We had an appointment at catholic family services (we're not catholic but its affordable) the same week a therapist was fired for sleeping with one of her patients! No wonder it's cheap! ha ha ha! But seriously now I'm a little uneasy about therapy or at least more nervous about it. I do know two things for sure. 1. I can only count on me, myself & I as long as i hold fast to my personal convictions no matter what emotions or temptations come my way. 2. Only Tyler and James my most beloved boyz can be trusted to love me come hell or high water! Their unconditonal love is my strength in my time of need. If i didn't have them I would have left this earth along time ago. So tell me, teach me, show me how I can trust her empty words. Trust that she does want what I want, to save our marriage? I've put her first for so long that now that she has dethroned herself I'm lost. I'm sure with no way to hold her accountable, To verafiy what she's told me. I'll never know what really happened, what was said, done, shared, you know the things, the experiences i wasn't privileged to partake in Never the less, please give me... us... our family a hand in this time of need. Instead of pointing out personal flaws, provide tools to mend this broken heart..... Then one day we can return the favor, the compassion we all desire at one point Make sense? or just ramblings of a man wandering in a shattered dream? Link to post Share on other sites
sami Posted June 5, 2005 Share Posted June 5, 2005 This's rediculous. I'm sorry to say. Link to post Share on other sites
Sal Paradise Posted June 5, 2005 Share Posted June 5, 2005 Leave her. Any woman who justifies cheating by blaming it on your masturbation routine is out of her mind and not worth being with. It doesn't matter why you masturbate she has no right to cheat on you for doing it. She is a worthless cheating sorry excuse for a wife and is trying to place the blame on you. Masturbation is not cheating, never feel guilty about doing it. If you feel guilty she has won. Leave her, your kids deserve better than this sorry excuse for a human being they happen to call mom. Link to post Share on other sites
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