Tears4fears Posted January 10, 2016 Share Posted January 10, 2016 I've recently posted about my BF of 2 1/2 years dumping me for another girl. It's getting easier to cope with. I just decided to go cold turkey no contact. I blocked him on Facebook,instagram and his phone number. Blocking everything out just seems easier for me. I've started to focus on my goals. I was in paegents and modeling when I dated him. So I've gotten back into that. Some days If I'm not extremely busy, I get very sad. It's hard to stay busy everyday all day but it seems like the only way I'm not hurt. We work together so whenever I see him. He stares or tries to get my attention. When we first broke up I said awful things to him. Unforgivable things. The very next time I saw him, he was doing anything to get my attention. I was confused because the things I said, he should hate me. He was being very flirty or trying to bring me into conversations that I wasn't involved in. I was walking away and he told me that he was looking at my butt -_- I ignored him and kept walking. The next day I seen him at work on the phone telling his new gf he loved her. It really hurt. He tried to say it in a quiet voice but I heard him anyway. He was in the breakroom talking to coworkers about his NYE plans and he said "i can't say it right now" when I got up to leave he said "NOW I CAN" really loud purposely so I can hear it. I never addressed it because I felt it was childish. At work whenever we are near eachother ppl make fun of us because of the situation. It happened recently so I approached him and told him that it's very uncomfortable for me and that he made it that way by lying and saying I bother him to everyone. He replied that I'm ''pretty" but it's not all about me. I finally had enough. I told him we aren't friends and have no reason to talk. I told him he has no business telling me im pretty or making comments about my body since he has a gf he tells he loves. He just looked at me and didn't respond. I figured he'd gotten the point because a few days went by and he hadn't bothered me. Then I received a notification saying he has added me on snapchat. He added me and I have the option of adding him back but I didn't. So now he views my pictures everyday usually. He might miss a day or two but its usually almost everyday. Why would he request me on there?? Why does he try to have conversations with me?? I feel like I've told him 2 billion times not to talk to me yet he does or TRIES anyway. It upset my mom that he looks at my snapchat story often because she said that he uses that as a mind game.... how could that be a mind game?? I mean I don't follow him back so I never see his pics but he's the one who constantly looks at my pics. I'm starting to think he has problems or wants to torture me. Which also isn't mormal I've asked him to leave me alone and he doesn't acknowledge that I've even said anything. I don't understand why he's doing this. Link to post Share on other sites
hippychick3 Posted January 10, 2016 Share Posted January 10, 2016 Let him know that if he continues to harass you at work (that is exactly what he's doing), you will contact HR. Good for you for blocking him as much as possible. Your mother is right. Stay away and give him NO attention. You dodged a bullet with this jerk. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Lindsaycaper Posted January 10, 2016 Share Posted January 10, 2016 This guy is a real loser. You seem sweet and smart. You're way too good for this guy. He doesn't deserve you to even acknowledge him. He seems like he has stalker tendencies as well. Bothering someone when they told you not to is not normal. Even if he thinks you're not serious. I agree with the first reply GOOD FOR YOU for blocking him. Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted January 10, 2016 Share Posted January 10, 2016 This confirms my belief that you should never ever EVER date someone you work with. Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted January 10, 2016 Share Posted January 10, 2016 BTW mind game = intimidation/manipulation. IMO he is a bit of a show off. He is self centered egotistical bastard. I feel very bad for you that this guy had douped you for 2 1/2 years, started dating someone before you broke up...and the possibility he may have dated other women under your nose, and this new girl doesn't know what she signed up for. I doubt he told his GF he loved her, I bet that was for show, and yes he had every intention of letting you hear it to harass you. Link to post Share on other sites
Space Ritual Posted January 10, 2016 Share Posted January 10, 2016 Tears, There is really no good way to say this, so I'll just be frank. I don't know what country you are in, but in most corporate situations what is now transpiring is bordering in Sexual harassment from your ex. The guidelines vary from company to company, but his actions are creating a hostile work environment. Never mind that you two used to have a relationship. Most companies, while taking that into account, will concentrate on subsequent actions. You probably need to start documenting his interactions at work with you and his online actions towards you as well. While I hate to say it, I am afraid one of you will be heading out the door in the not too distant future. I don't think it has to be you. I think you probably need to go to HR about this tomorrow. If you do not act, he actually might. He sounds a bit spiteful and manipulative, so it would not be out of the realm of possibility he would attempt to make you lose your job. I would not put it past him. My guess is that he would manufacture some evidence against you if he felt he needed to. So get the jump on him. You can never be sure what someone is going to do in a situation like this, so forewarned is forearmed. I was accused of it once at a workplace and although I was able to prove it did not happen I had to go through a very demeaning process that took a real toll on my job performance. And I am a guy, which is one thing. If this guy accuses YOU of sexual harassment of any kind, being you are a female, they will consider that such a rare occurrence they will do their best to give you as much extra scrutiny as they can. I am saying that from a perspective that a reverse accusation is so rare that HR may not do their actual due diligence as they would not have a lot of experience with a man accusing a female of it. Sorry its happening to you, but you gotta act, and soon. Your job may be at stake if you don't. Please protect yourself. Link to post Share on other sites
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