Emmielou Posted January 10, 2016 Share Posted January 10, 2016 Hi all. Been a lurker here for quite some time. First post please be gentle Met MM just over 2 years ago through mutual friends. We hit it off straight away and even though I knew he was married I let him charm me and a short EA soon turned into a PA. Things were good to start. He had his own business so always made time for me and spoke everyday. About a year in he changed jobs and time was limited. Evenings and weekends were off limits as this was his family time and this is when things got rocky. I should have got out then. I tried a few times but he always pulled me back in. He always knew what to say to make me change my mind. I've been a single parent for quite some time and if im being honest I liked the attention. Fast forward to today. He's going out of the country with work for 2 months. I get a text just as he's about to board his plane sayng we're over he can't do it anymore. I know it's for the best. It should never have happened in the first place. But right now my heart is breaking Link to post Share on other sites
oceansaway Posted January 10, 2016 Share Posted January 10, 2016 I can understand. However you must believe you deserve better than the crumbs of one's life. A cheater is no bargain in the long run. Just try to think of his wife and how she must live with a sneaky liar. Would you really want to have to deal with that? I myself was in a affair fog for years until I saw the true person I was dealing with. I was recently divorced and enjoyed the attention. Believe me...in the end your better off. Find someone deserving of you Link to post Share on other sites
Author Emmielou Posted January 10, 2016 Author Share Posted January 10, 2016 I can understand. However you must believe you deserve better than the crumbs of one's life. A cheater is no bargain in the long run. Just try to think of his wife and how she must live with a sneaky liar. Would you really want to have to deal with that? I myself was in a affair fog for years until I saw the true person I was dealing with. I was recently divorced and enjoyed the attention. Believe me...in the end your better off. Find someone deserving of you Thank you ocean. I know I deserve better but I've always found it too hard to let him go. Hopefully in time I will see him for what he is. Guess I have to take it one day at a time Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted January 10, 2016 Share Posted January 10, 2016 Now you need to block him and grieve the loss, get strong so when the 2 months are up and he comes back, you will able to ignore him and/or tell him to F himself and never to call you again. Because he WILL try to fish and see if your door is open a crack. Love yourself first. See this man for who he is, even though he may make you feel like a million bucks, he's still a liar, manipulator, a cheater and cruel. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
burnt Posted January 10, 2016 Share Posted January 10, 2016 I know the feeling. "Heart is breaking" doesn't say how awful the pain is. I know how awful you must feel when you have tried to get out and how you got pulled back in, and now he's done and gone so easily and conveniently. The sense of betrayal is mind-numbing. If you have close friends/family, people that are true, be around them for support. It will take time for you to cope. As hard as it is for you feel it, you already know that it's a good thing that a liar and chater like him is removed from your life. Emmie, I'm so sorry for what you're feeling. Hope you heal soon. Link to post Share on other sites
imperfectangel Posted January 10, 2016 Share Posted January 10, 2016 Trust me he will be back. They always come back. He probably just finished it because he had his wife tell him how much she will miss him etc maybe it's made him realise he will miss her too. He will be back his ego won't let him stop the affair Link to post Share on other sites
Popsicle Posted January 10, 2016 Share Posted January 10, 2016 I should have got out then. I tried a few times but he always pulled me back in. He always knew what to say to make me change my mind. I've been a single parent for quite some time and if im being honest I liked the attention. Fast forward to today. He's going out of the country with work for 2 months. I get a text just as he's about to board his plane sayng we're over he can't do it anymore. I know it's for the best. It should never have happened in the first place. But right now my heart is breaking You should have gotten out when you tried to before. This is why I always tell OW/OM to end it first, before your AP does. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
oceansaway Posted January 10, 2016 Share Posted January 10, 2016 Thank you ocean. I know I deserve better but I've always found it too hard to let him go. Hopefully in time I will see him for what he is. Guess I have to take it one day at a time Yes...one day at a time. Believe I understand your pain. I recently ended it after 4 years. Many times he pulled me back. Not this time. They will do and say anything to keep you around because by having you around makes his life and marriage more tolerable. I am sure his next fight with his wife...he'll be reaching out. Please just get angry with how he's treated you and stay angry. Think of all the betrayal and lies. He's NO prize. Keep thinking you deserve better and WILL find love again 3 Link to post Share on other sites
BuddyX Posted January 11, 2016 Share Posted January 11, 2016 Take a snap shot of his text message response. When he comes back crawling, and trust me he will, just resend the pic with "FYI, this is how you feel about me". 2 Link to post Share on other sites
privategal Posted January 11, 2016 Share Posted January 11, 2016 Though he might be back someday Id not think in that direction. Save your dignity and dont ask why or try to fight it. Its so hurtful and I'm sorry. And I hope you will get through the pain and just keep thinking its for the best. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
brothers343 Posted January 11, 2016 Share Posted January 11, 2016 I'm sorry for what your going through. But this is the price you pay for affairs. It usually ends bad for both parties. The difference is that he will go back to his wife and you will be back home grieving the loss. For a long time. Im sorry. Link to post Share on other sites
Outofmysystem Posted January 11, 2016 Share Posted January 11, 2016 I know how awful you must feel when you have tried to get out and how you got pulled back in, and now he's done and gone so easily and conveniently. The sense of betrayal is mind-numbing.....Burnt, you have a way of just nailing it!...... Mine ended when she decided, and I quote, "Fck it!, I'm done!"....... Emmie......you know you can't trust those kind of feelings, the turning off of the faucet, the blink of an eye......I know you want to, I do still, but we are smarter (hopefully) than that.....hang in there..... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Shadowburn Posted January 11, 2016 Share Posted January 11, 2016 Emmie, I know it feels awful but in reality, he did you a favor. Just think about it - he'll be gone for two months. Block every way of communication so he won't be able to crawl back, trust me and everyone else on this site - HE WILL. There is something about affairs that make it very hard for men to let go even when they end it with the best intentions. They come back fishing months and even years after it is over. There is recent thread about MM fishing by sending working emails a year after it was over, and poster lost her long time marriage over that shameless jerk. Use these two months proactively. Heal, take care of yourself, move on. Make yourself happy. You don't need him, and you'll be fine without him. Best of luck xoxo 1 Link to post Share on other sites
BeautifulIdiot Posted January 11, 2016 Share Posted January 11, 2016 Hi all. Been a lurker here for quite some time. First post please be gentle Met MM just over 2 years ago through mutual friends. We hit it off straight away and even though I knew he was married I let him charm me and a short EA soon turned into a PA. Things were good to start. He had his own business so always made time for me and spoke everyday. About a year in he changed jobs and time was limited. Evenings and weekends were off limits as this was his family time and this is when things got rocky. I should have got out then. I tried a few times but he always pulled me back in. He always knew what to say to make me change my mind. I've been a single parent for quite some time and if im being honest I liked the attention. Fast forward to today. He's going out of the country with work for 2 months. I get a text just as he's about to board his plane sayng we're over he can't do it anymore. I know it's for the best. It should never have happened in the first place. But right now my heart is breaking Emmielou all I have for you are hugs. I know how hard it is, I was left with the exact same words. Be strong and look to the future. He may not try to pull you back in (mine didn't), either way try not to focus on whether he will or not. Get support around you, find things to keep you busy and focus on your kid(s?). The best advice I got here is that there is light ahead but you have to start looking for the light switch yourself. I'm still looking for mine but I wish I got that advice earlier. Be strong. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
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