durtaholic Posted January 11, 2016 Share Posted January 11, 2016 Hello and thanks for taking the time. Quick background on my situation. Met my wife 20 years ago and fell in love with her. She had a 6 month old baby boy that I have loved like my own. Got married 6 years ago to who I thought was my soulmate. In June of this year she told me she wanted a divorce and left . Was about someone else she said that communicated with her and made her laugh. We moved to an area 3 years ago for a change 800 miles from home. I have a couple of relatives here but we are not close I was left by myself to clean up and move a 3 bedroom house into a storage unit and had to rent a trailer from someone so I could keep our puppy I have moved out of there to get closer to work and lived with a coworker until January 1st of this year. After the first two months of our split up we started talking and out to dinner a couple times and was trying to stay friends and in their lives. She is struggling a bit with monthly bills and said I could come stay with them and help out I have already been paying a car loan in our names every month to try and not have my credit messed up. Was left with thousands of dollars in credit card debt as well. So after I gave notice to roommate and left Jan 1st staying with her and step son now not an option. I am now living in my truck with my puppy and have never felt so worthless in my life. I work two physical jobs and still struggling to make ends meet. I don't know what to do anymore as depression is taking my soul and hope away from me. I love this woman so much and having trouble letting go. Any advice or someone I could talk to ? I have no family really as have also dealt with two deaths in the last few years . Today has been a pretty bad day and can't stop uncontrably weeping. Please help me Link to post Share on other sites
fireflywy Posted January 11, 2016 Share Posted January 11, 2016 Sorry to hear you're going through this, but we need to break this down into a game plan. The first thing is, and I know it will be hard, you have to not let depression over the relationship immobilize you from changing your current circumstances. You ARE going to think about her, no doubt about it, but because you have so many other things on your plate here's what you need to do. 1. You have to deal with thoughts of her first so you can get on with your situation. When she comes up use the word "STOP" not "Don't think about her right now." I DONT want you to think about a pink elephant right now. See what happens. When this done, throughout your working day, tell yourself and GIVE yourself a set time to do all the weeping you want to let your emotions out. Only for a set time. 2. Now that you've created an emotionao valve, your going to have to set yourself up to improve your current situation asap beginning with appropriate lodging. 3. You may have to expand your search radius if you're looking for more certainty. Here's what you have going for you. You are working TWO jobs which means you are a hard worker and have a degree of strength and sticktoitiveness (sp?) which will see you through this whole thing and over this TEMPORARY bump if you cultivate it. In short, you're a man and you can handle this. You CAN do this friend. It may be rough, but you can do this. Don't give up. Link to post Share on other sites
fireflywy Posted January 11, 2016 Share Posted January 11, 2016 (edited) This may seem cliché to some, but I watched one of these often. They certainly helped me. This may be the toughest moment of your life and while I cant promise you perfect days to come, i CAN promise you better days with clearer skies if you just keep moving and in the proverbial game. I'm pulling and praying for you man. You can do this. Edited January 11, 2016 by fireflywy Link to post Share on other sites
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