jennylee Posted June 5, 2005 Share Posted June 5, 2005 Hello! I wanted to get some third party advice about some concerns I have with my boyfriend. My concern is that he works with a girl,around the same age as him,24, and they have to work on projects together. Shes a very attractive and nice girl. They sometimes grab coffee together in the morning,sometimes lunch, and they sometimes have to drive together to bussiness. My concern is that its a lot of closeness. I have met her she is very nice and she has a boyfriend. But Im still concerned that all this closeness may lead to something further. I have a problem bringing this subject up with my boyfriend because I dont want to come across as being jealous. Should I say something to him? Or leave it alone. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted June 5, 2005 Share Posted June 5, 2005 Has he given you any reason to feel jealous? Does he talk about this woman alot? I would bring it up to him and just tell him your fears. It's okay to do that and to be honest. Explain that you're just concerned about the amount of time being spent together that's all. Don't accuse him of cheating on you - Unless he reacts badly when you talk to him. Link to post Share on other sites
Author jennylee Posted June 5, 2005 Author Share Posted June 5, 2005 He has given me no reason to suspect that he would do anything. He doesnt talk about her to much, she will come up on occasion. Hes not the cheating type at all , I just wonder if that closeness could lead to something. Im really hesitant to bring this up because it could be awkard later down the road. Link to post Share on other sites
laRubiaBonita Posted June 5, 2005 Share Posted June 5, 2005 Originally posted by whichwayisup Has he given you any reason to feel jealous? Does he talk about this woman alot? I would bring it up to him and just tell him your fears. It's okay to do that and to be honest. Explain that you're just concerned about the amount of time being spent together that's all. Don't accuse him of cheating on you - Unless he reacts badly when you talk to him. Amen, WWIU! Communication, Communication, Communication....no matter how dumb, insignifigant, or paranoid it may seem to the other party.......It is bugging you, and i am sure it shows in some way. So Before it ever becomes anything BIG, nip it in the bud. Link to post Share on other sites
Sal Paradise Posted June 5, 2005 Share Posted June 5, 2005 Originally posted by jennylee Hello! I wanted to get some third party advice about some concerns I have with my boyfriend. My concern is that he works with a girl,around the same age as him,24, and they have to work on projects together. Shes a very attractive and nice girl. They sometimes grab coffee together in the morning,sometimes lunch, and they sometimes have to drive together to bussiness. My concern is that its a lot of closeness. I have met her she is very nice and she has a boyfriend. But Im still concerned that all this closeness may lead to something further. I have a problem bringing this subject up with my boyfriend because I dont want to come across as being jealous. Should I say something to him? Or leave it alone. Talk about your fears with him. In general you're going to have to learn to deal with these sort of situations. It would be one thing if he had given you a reason to be concerned but he hasn't. This isn't really about him, its your fear and insecurities. Its normal to feel this way but you need to realize that you can't be freaking out everytime your bf works closely with an attractive woman, you'll drive him and yourself insane. You can't control the situation, if he wants to cheat he will do it anyways, whether he works close to attractive women or not. Talk with him, let him reassure you that nothing is or will happen. Its all about COMMUNICATION. Link to post Share on other sites
EnigmaXOXO Posted June 5, 2005 Share Posted June 5, 2005 I share the same opinion as the other posters. If something is bothering you, its best to find a way to openly (and calmly) discuss the situation and find the answers you need rather than allowing it to fester and become something bigger in your imagination than what it really is. For me, I've long since gotten over worrying about whether someone might find me insecure, paranoid or suspicious. If sharing my concerns and feelings with someone scares them away, then I simply assume we weren't well suited for each to begin with. And any resulting 'break-up' may very well be a blessing in disguise. What's more, I've learned time and time again that biting your tongue and pretending not to notice those nagging little doubts does little to make them go away. If you have concerns, it's better to address them (and resolve them) early on in your relationship instead of waiting around indefinitely hoping that your partner is intuitive enough to miraculously change whatever behavior that is making you uneasy. If you're too afraid to talk openly with your partner, than the chances are pretty good that you're just not in the right relationship …yet. Link to post Share on other sites
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