KittyKat67 Posted January 11, 2016 Share Posted January 11, 2016 I have about 15 cousins that I grew up with, that we grew apart and see eachother at funerals and holidays. I do notice that a good part of them are facebook "friends" event hough I know the history and many of them didn't eve get along when we were younger. For some reason, I have a cousin who refuses my facebook friends request. I sent her a thank you for the christmas card message and said it seems for whatever reason she is not accepting me but thanks for the card. No response. The thing is weird because she always said I was her favorite cousin. I don't get it. I do know its stated that you shouldn't take facebook seriously but her actions are clearly hers and non facebook. I did send her one once and she accepted, then I unfriended her by accident but immediately sent her another request, never again I guess. I can't help but feel hurt. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted January 12, 2016 Share Posted January 12, 2016 She may just not want anyone in the family knowing her business. I'm that way. It's one reason I do not have Facebook. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
turnera Posted January 13, 2016 Share Posted January 13, 2016 You could just try...talking to her? Link to post Share on other sites
BettyDraper Posted January 13, 2016 Share Posted January 13, 2016 I only have 23 Facebook friends because my privacy is important to me. Maybe your cousin feels the same way. You won't know unless you talk to your cousin. Link to post Share on other sites
Author KittyKat67 Posted January 13, 2016 Author Share Posted January 13, 2016 She has all the other cousins on her friends list Link to post Share on other sites
Author KittyKat67 Posted January 13, 2016 Author Share Posted January 13, 2016 She may just not want anyone in the family knowing her business. I'm that way. It's one reason I do not have Facebook. Well she has all the other female cousins on there even one whom I know she had a childhood falling out with Link to post Share on other sites
Wewon Posted January 13, 2016 Share Posted January 13, 2016 For some reason, I have a cousin who refuses my facebook friends request. ... I did send her one once and she accepted, then I unfriended her by accident but immediately sent her another request, never again I guess. I can't help but feel hurt. Did you explain any of this to her? She might be on a message board talking about her cousin that unfriended her on facebook. Link to post Share on other sites
Author KittyKat67 Posted January 14, 2016 Author Share Posted January 14, 2016 Did you explain any of this to her? She might be on a message board talking about her cousin that unfriended her on facebook. You might want to respond to posts when your not in a saracastic mood:cool: You are of no help Link to post Share on other sites
Wewon Posted January 15, 2016 Share Posted January 15, 2016 You might want to respond to posts when your not in a saracastic mood:cool: You are of no help You maybe a little sensitive to this, so I'll use a different tact. In your OP you seem to think that your cousin is acting out by not accepting your friend request when in fact you were the one that did something odd, you unfriended them. Now this may have been an accident, one that could easily be explained, but since you never took the time to call, email or otherwise clarify what happened, all they know is that you unfriended them. Yes, you did send a second friend request later, but that's beside my point. My second sentence about them being on a message board was just a way to illustrate that there is a second side to this story (theirs) were your behavior is the mystery. I think that sometimes we get a little too caught into ourselves to understand that others have an entirely different experience of the same event. To clear these kinds of things up, you don't make assumptions and wait for the other person to take actions, the whole time mental interpreting their actions with a series of if-then logic, you communicate your point of view on no uncertain terms. This can be cleared up in one conversation. Link to post Share on other sites
turnera Posted January 16, 2016 Share Posted January 16, 2016 Wewon is right. You're wrapping yourself up in your comfort zone of 'oh, I'm a victim.' In reality, SHE has feelings, too. And she is JUST as likely to be sitting on HER couch, going 'OMG, she is being so hateful, blah blah blah. I'm a writer. And the first rule of writing is to understand your audience. You write to REACH your audience. And if you can't understand how your writer will 'accept' what you provide them, 9 times out of 10, you will make a mistake. You have to try to understand how the other person is experiencing what YOU do/say/write if you ever want a chance of reaching a solution that works for YOU. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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