onthemend Posted June 5, 2005 Share Posted June 5, 2005 Well here I am again! Have moved from 'Coping' and now find myself wanting some advice here. B/F and I split up in Jan of this year. 3 months of nc until I met up with him 2 months ago (i sent a txt saying I was going to be in his home town and did he want to meet up for a drink) - during the time we didn't see each other I got on with my life and thought I was over him and we could do 'just good friends' when it came to saying goodbye we kissed - major big one, and I thought that was that and prepared myself to cope with missing him all over again! Anyway fast forward to now - He invited me to stay with him for the w/end and we had the best time ever, things couldn't have been better. We were more relaxed with each other as I suppose we were still in 'friends that shag' mode! Since then he's txted everyday and we've spoken to each other for ages on the phone about most things except where we are going from here. I don't know what to do, is he using me for fantastic sex or does he genuinely want me back. I know I should ask but I'm scared of applying pressure. Should I give it time and see how it pans out. He's also asked me to work with him for 3 days next w/end which will mean staying with him in a hotel for the duration. HELP Link to post Share on other sites
eltopo420 Posted June 19, 2005 Share Posted June 19, 2005 well it sounds like you care so if you love him go stay with him and give it a chance tell him how you really feel sadly everything happens for a reason if its ment to be it will be hope that helps a little Link to post Share on other sites
cleebie Posted June 19, 2005 Share Posted June 19, 2005 Onthemend, did you leave him or did he leave you? If he left you, was there no contact from him at all until you sent him the text? I'm curious because my ex left me in Feb this year and I would dearly love to be back with him but have felt that he wouldn't be interested because he hasn't tried to contact me at all since March (the last time we saw each other). So your story sort of gives me a bit of hope that although he hasn't contacted me, he might still be thinking of me and me contacting him may start a reconciliation process (or maybe not..I am realistic). anyway...in your case, i would go for it. He seems to want to spend a lot of time with you. You seem to be getting on really well and say you are both relaxed with each other. Just let things go the way they are for a while and enjoy. Let things develop naturally and don't put the pressure on too soon talking about where the relationship is going. Do you have sex every time you see each other? Maybe abstain a bit and see if his attitude towards you changes, then maybe you'll get a feeling as to whether it is just about sex or not. good luck anyway!! Link to post Share on other sites
LonelySoul Posted June 19, 2005 Share Posted June 19, 2005 You know the famous saying,Why buy the cow if the milk is free (something like that). If you're going into this thinking little by little you're work your way in, it's not going to work. You've already slept with him, stayed a whole weekend, and now you are thinking of staying with him to work!! Aren't these signs enough for "him" to know you still have feelings and still want to work things out. If you haven't had the talk yet about getting back, what are your intentions with this whole FWB?? Do you think a relationship like this will last?? I'm sorry but in the end, you'll lose if you don't put your foot down and let him know what your intentions are and the feelings you still have. If he rejects you, then you know it's his selfish act of being a man. Link to post Share on other sites
norcaldivr Posted June 20, 2005 Share Posted June 20, 2005 Originally posted by LonelySoul You know the famous saying,Why buy the cow if the milk is free (something like that). Another similar saying: Why buy the pig if all you want is a little sausage. Link to post Share on other sites
Author onthemend Posted June 20, 2005 Author Share Posted June 20, 2005 Thanks for your replies. Well here's an update. We worked together for the three days and had a fantastic time. It really couldn't have been better, SO on the last night we went out with friends and had too much to drink. We got into bed and I asked him were we were going with the relationship. (Possibly not the best timing but I knew it had to be done) I wasn't heavy about it and made some sort of quip like its a girl thing - the needing to know scenario. I could feel him think Oh no she wants to talk!! He said that he thought we were both happy with the way thinks were and because of the distance issue (he lives a couple of hours and a ferry ride away from me) he didn't want to get back together. I sort of knew this anyway BUT had to be sure. We didn't have sex and went straight to sleep. Next morning I woke up first and got up and started to get ready to go - feeling like crap! He was really sweet and affectionate and apologised for giving me the wrong impression. I said not to worry about it but I would not be sleeping with him again but would still be friends. We eventually left after him giving me a gigantic hug and a thousand more apologies. He has since txted and emailed saying how sorry he was and how much he feels for me and how good he feels when he's with me and please, please can we still be friends. I'm going for an interview today - he found me the job through his contacts. He calls me and txts me still. So, yes we're friends - I'll have to live with that :-( We'll probably be friends for ever as we get on soooo well. Ummm...... in hind sight I suppose I would say to anyone thinking about getting back with an ex to take a good long hard think about it. You broke up for a reason and unless that reason can rectify its self I can't see it can work - it didn't in my case. Loneysoul - What does FWB mean? Cleebie - We both decided to split up because of the distance issue. Because we are such good friends we both sort of kept in touch. If your ex wanted to be friends he would have contacted you by now. I'd advise caution. Link to post Share on other sites
Da_1_n_OnlyN3na Posted June 20, 2005 Share Posted June 20, 2005 hmmm .. why would he beg for your friendship?.. hmmm well mayb he feels good being with you and shyte but mayb hes scared if the whole break up thng to happen again if yall get back 2gether... ay.. this reminds me of my problem.. but NEWAYS i dont know if he will come back to you because he has told you that you guys are good the way you are right now and has apoligized for giving you false hopes.. then dont wait up hon it seems as if you have already realised that.. thats koo.. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts