Unrequited Love

[Montsan]

You love your wife.

 

You're in love with the German gal.

 

Now you've also sent a message to the old flame.

 

 

Why are you seeking an ego feed so much right now that you want some other women to respond to you?

 

The "old flame" is no longer flaming. I've merely stated that I now know how she might feel, and for her sake, I think I owe it to her to at least acknowledge her. But, like I said, she seems to have disappeared.

[Montsan]

Well, it's been a week since I mailed my letter and there's been no reply. I had asked her to email me. The lack of a reply could mean one of several things.

 

 

1. She is away, which is a distinct possibility as there was no answer each time I called.

 

 

2. Wrong address, in which case I hope the letter is forwarded. Unlikely, though, as several sources listed the same address.

 

 

3. My letter somehow didn't make it.

 

 

4. Her husband intercepted the letter and didn't let her know.

 

 

5. She has read my letter and chooses not to respond.

 

 

With each passing day my hopes of ever hearing from her again get dimmer and dimmer. The most likely scenario is #5. If I never hear from her, then that's just the way it is and there is nothing I can do about it. I'll assume that #5 is the case and I will not make any further attempts to try and contact her. I haven't loaded up her Facebook page in a few days, and I will never do so again. It just hurts too much.

[Mr. Lucky]

Well, it's been a week since I mailed my letter and there's been no reply. I had asked her to email me. The lack of a reply could mean one of several things.

 

 

1. She is away, which is a distinct possibility as there was no answer each time I called.

 

 

2. Wrong address, in which case I hope the letter is forwarded. Unlikely, though, as several sources listed the same address.

 

 

3. My letter somehow didn't make it.

 

 

4. Her husband intercepted the letter and didn't let her know.

 

 

5. She has read my letter and chooses not to respond.

 

 

With each passing day my hopes of ever hearing from her again get dimmer and dimmer. The most likely scenario is #5. If I never hear from her, then that's just the way it is and there is nothing I can do about it. I'll assume that #5 is the case and I will not make any further attempts to try and contact her. I haven't loaded up her Facebook page in a few days, and I will never do so again. It just hurts too much.

 

Isn't this one type of the closure you said was so important to you ? Her "no answer" is an answer...

 

Mr. Lucky

[Whoknew30]

What you're saying makes complete sense. However, there some glaring facts here.

 

Montsan has been very adamant that he is in love and not infatuated.

While I don't agree with him, he knows better than anyone else what he is feeling. I don't live in his head after all.

 

I believe that Montsan does love his wife but not as much as he loves the German woman. This is based on his assertions that he is in love and not just having a crush. I also think that being in love with someone else while married and constantly thinking of another person is disrespectful and unhealthy.

 

 

I know quite a few men that are married that have the one that got away & still love them in a way. You can't help how you feel. How is a feeling disrespectful? Also there is no set rule to know everything about one's spouse, if your spouse has been true & loves you but does have a special place for someone in their past...it's really no one else's business, including their spouse's. IMO

[Montsan]

I know quite a few men that are married that have the one that got away & still love them in a way. You can't help how you feel. How is a feeling disrespectful? Also there is no set rule to know everything about one's spouse, if your spouse has been true & loves you but does have a special place for someone in their past...it's really no one else's business, including their spouse's. IMO

 

Thank you for that.

[Montsan]

Isn't this one type of the closure you said was so important to you ? Her "no answer" is an answer...

 

Mr. Lucky

 

I suppose so. Not the closure I had hoped for.

[BettyDraper]

I know quite a few men that are married that have the one that got away & still love them in a way. You can't help how you feel. How is a feeling disrespectful? Also there is no set rule to know everything about one's spouse, if your spouse has been true & loves you but does have a special place for someone in their past...it's really no one else's business, including their spouse's. IMO

 

While I agree that spouses do not need to share every single thought, being in love with someone else while married to another person is certainly a serious matter. Monogamy and marriage is about forsaking all others.

A person cannot truly be engaged in their marriage if they are constantly pining for someone else.

 

If you're married, do you think your spouse would be fine with you obsessing over a past lover, referring to that lover as "the love of my life" and contacting them more than once? Why or why not?

 

It boggles my mind that some LS members can't see the difference between merely having a special place in one's heart for an ex and loving them more than their spouse. I'll always have a special place in my heart for the first man that I ever fell in love with. I lost my virginity to him and we shared a very traumatic experience. He even proposed to me. I don't spend my time constantly thinking of this man nor do I contact him. His mother once found me on Facebook and she told me that he was getting married. I simply sent my congratulations and went about my business. No need to reach out because we are both married and have no interest in getting back together.

 

Didn't you see Montsan's words about never loving anyone more than he loved the German woman? That is the part that does not sit well with me.I think Montsan is just infatuated but he is sure that he is in love.

[BettyDraper]

Well, it's been a week since I mailed my letter and there's been no reply. I had asked her to email me. The lack of a reply could mean one of several things.

 

 

1. She is away, which is a distinct possibility as there was no answer each time I called.

 

 

2. Wrong address, in which case I hope the letter is forwarded. Unlikely, though, as several sources listed the same address.

 

 

3. My letter somehow didn't make it.

 

 

4. Her husband intercepted the letter and didn't let her know.

 

 

5. She has read my letter and chooses not to respond.

 

 

With each passing day my hopes of ever hearing from her again get dimmer and dimmer. The most likely scenario is #5. If I never hear from her, then that's just the way it is and there is nothing I can do about it. I'll assume that #5 is the case and I will not make any further attempts to try and contact her. I haven't loaded up her Facebook page in a few days, and I will never do so again. It just hurts too much.

 

Sorry that you didn't get the response you wanted. Now you can grieve your loss and slowly let go.

 

If you find that music helps you during hard times, listen to "Someone Like You" by Adele. If you like country music, "Burning House" by Cam is also a good break up song. I know you broke up with the German woman many years ago, but never receiving the closure you wanted is a fresh wound.

Edited January 27, 2016 by BettyDraper

[Whoknew30]

While I agree that spouses do not need to share every single thought, being in love with someone else while married to another person is certainly a serious matter. Monogamy and marriage is about forsaking all others.

A person cannot truly be engaged in their marriage if they are constantly pining for someone else.

 

If you're married, do you think your spouse would be fine with you obsessing over a past lover, referring to that lover as "the love of my life" and contacting them more than once? Why or why not?

 

It boggles my mind that some LS members can't see the difference between merely having a special place in one's heart for an ex and loving them more than their spouse. I'll always have a special place in my heart for the first man that I ever fell in love with. I lost my virginity to him and we shared a very traumatic experience. He even proposed to me. I don't spend my time constantly thinking of this man nor do I contact him. His mother once found me on Facebook and she told me that he was getting married. I simply sent my congratulations and went about my business. No need to reach out because we are both married and have no interest in getting back together.

 

Didn't you see Montsan's words about never loving anyone more than he loved the German woman? That is the part that does not sit well with me.I think Montsan is just infatuated but he is sure that he is in love.

 

Loving someone else doesn't mean that you haven't been monogamous. What about people that remarry after a spouse dies? They may love the person they're with but still think about the one they lost, probably everyday. There isn't a set standard of love or loss. Some people we lose from death, some from circumstances but a loss that one didn't want is still a loss, same as love, you may love someone forever that you never ended up with, doesn't mean you don't love the one you're with. One of my kids said something to me that will stand out forever (& gave me a different perspective) "it is your business what I do as my parent but it's never anyone business how I feel". It's kind of the same for any situation, someone can feel however they want, it's the actions they choose or not choose to do that is right or wrong. Telling someone they are wrong about their feelings really isn't anyone's place, especially if that person has choosen not to take a true action on it.

 

He may be infatuated but unless he crosses a serious boundary (which IMO isn't a how have you been letter) what does it matter? He hasn't hurt his wife & going by what he says he loves her & his actions (marrying her, having a family, being true to her) shohe has choosen to do right by her...so I'm not understanding the disrespectful part.

 

My H had a first love & I know he still somewhere holds a special place for & im sure has probably even questioned what life would have been like with her but his actions show me he loves me & chooses to be with me. IMO that's all that matters.

[thecharade]

I know this sounds like a sexist generalization and I apologize, but I have honestly witnessed this many, many times. Men see nothing inappropriate unless there is sex; women see the inappropriate looooong before--in the emotions and intentions.

 

Is that what is happening here?

 

I believe what Montsan is doing is an affair of the heart. If I was married to him, I would divorce him for his feelings and actions. Yuck. I would not tolerate this level of disrespect.

[BettyDraper]

Loving someone else doesn't mean that you haven't been monogamous. What about people that remarry after a spouse dies? They may love the person they're with but still think about the one they lost, probably everyday. There isn't a set standard of love or loss. Some people we lose from death, some from circumstances but a loss that one didn't want is still a loss, same as love, you may love someone forever that you never ended up with, doesn't mean you don't love the one you're with. One of my kids said something to me that will stand out forever (& gave me a different perspective) "it is your business what I do as my parent but it's never anyone business how I feel". It's kind of the same for any situation, someone can feel however they want, it's the actions they choose or not choose to do that is right or wrong. Telling someone they are wrong about their feelings really isn't anyone's place, especially if that person has choosen not to take a true action on it.

 

He may be infatuated but unless he crosses a serious boundary (which IMO isn't a how have you been letter) what does it matter? He hasn't hurt his wife & going by what he says he loves her & his actions (marrying her, having a family, being true to her) shohe has choosen to do right by her...so I'm not understanding the disrespectful part.

 

My H had a first love & I know he still somewhere holds a special place for & im sure has probably even questioned what life would have been like with her but his actions show me he loves me & chooses to be with me. IMO that's all that matters.

 

If you are in love with someone else while you are married, you have not fully embraced the choice to forsake all others. You may be faithful to your spouse but you have not fully given them your heart. Would you be okay with your husband pining for his first love, contacting her more than once and hiding those feelings and actions from you?

 

I don't doubt that a married person can cherish a lost loved one while still loving whom they have chosen for life. However, when a spouse says that the lost love is the most important or special, it devalues the love they are supposed to have for their current partner. When people choose to marry and have a monogamous marriage, it means that they reserve their true love for their spouse. Remarrying after a death or divorce is completely different from Montsan's situation.

 

Voluntarily sharing feelings with others comes with the risk of reactions to those emotions. Nobody forced Montsan to post about his issues on LS. Since this is an open forum, anyone can post responses to feelings even if they aren't in agreement with the OP. Just as someone can feel however they want, others are also free to react to shared feelings however they choose. The freedom to experience emotions and react to them goes both ways.

 

All of this is moot since Montsan seems like he has given up on receiving the closure he wants anyway.

[BettyDraper]

I know this sounds like a sexist generalization and I apologize, but I have honestly witnessed this many, many times. Men see nothing inappropriate unless there is sex; women see the inappropriate looooong before--in the emotions and intentions.

 

Is that what is happening here?

 

I believe what Montsan is doing is an affair of the heart. If I was married to him, I would divorce him for his feelings and actions. Yuck. I would not tolerate this level of disrespect.

 

I don't know...I don't think most husbands would be happy if their wives were in love with other men even if their wives never slept with the lost love.

 

I agree with you. I couldn't stay with my husband if he was in love with someone else..especially if I found out that the other woman was dominating his thoughts and he was aggressively trying to contact her.

[thecharade]

You are right, Betty. I guess I mean that I have known plenty of MM who were obsessing about other women and thought it was fine. They were buying them gifts, having long chats, sharing emotions--everything! When I called them on it, they always said, "Stop! I haven't done anything wrong!"

 

Their wives do the same to them???

Heck, no! They would have thought it was betrayal!

 

Why is that?

Edited January 27, 2016 by thecharade

[BettyDraper]

You are right, Betty. I guess I mean that I have known plenty of MM who were obsessing about other women and thought it was fine. They were buying them gifts, having long chats, sharing emotions--everything! When I called them on it, they always said, "Stop! I haven't done anything wrong!"

 

Their wives do the same to them???

Heck, no! They would have thought it was betrayal!

 

Why is that?

 

The only reason I can think of is many people live by double standards. They think they are above reproach but others are not.

This way of thinking is not exclusive to men or women.

[OldRover]

It's interesting how a few condemn Montsan and never stop. Double standards, above reproach, betrayal, wrong, divorce him, innappropriate etc. etc.

 

We should not be so eagar to condemn, but offer him the support he can here to get. That's just one of the problems of Forums like this (and this one is not exclusive of unfairly condemning people, some are worse).

 

At this time, he has done nothing wrong. Sure, we can offer a few polite warnings of what "could" happen. But to hang him before he's even thought about a crime is ridiculous.

 

HIS feelings count.

[BettyDraper]

It's interesting how a few condemn Montsan and never stop. Double standards, above reproach, betrayal, wrong, divorce him, innappropriate etc. etc.

 

We should not be so eagar to condemn, but offer him the support he can here to get. That's just one of the problems of Forums like this (and this one is not exclusive of unfairly condemning people, some are worse).

 

At this time, he has done nothing wrong. Sure, we can offer a few polite warnings of what "could" happen. But to hang him before he's even thought about a crime is ridiculous.

 

HIS feelings count.

 

Why should we support actions that we deem to be wrong?

I think it is awful for a married person to be in love with someone other than their spouse and reach out to that person more than once.

 

Just as you believe that "hanging" Montsan is ridiculous, there are some who think that his actions are equally ludicrous and destructive. You clearly think that Montsan's actions are fine but others have a different opinion which they are free to express. If it bothers you so much to read posts written by those who don't think Montsan is right, you can block those members or choose not to read the thread.

That's why I do when certain members annoy me. I wouldn't dream of policing their posts as I am not a moderator and that isn't my place.

 

One thing I've learned about online forums is that members will not mince words to spare an OP's feelings.

Edited January 27, 2016 by BettyDraper

[OldRover]

Why should we support actions that we deem to be wrong?

I think it is awful for a married person to be in love with someone other than their spouse and reach out to that person more than once.

 

Just as you believe that "hanging" Montsan is ridiculous, there are some who think that his actions are equally ludicrous and destructive. You clearly think that Montsan's actions are fine but others have a different opinion which they are free to express. If it bothers you so much to read posts written by those who don't think Montsan is right, you can block those members or choose not to read the thread.

That's why I do when certain members annoy me. I wouldn't dream of policing their posts as I am not a moderator and that isn't my place.

 

One thing I've learned about online forums is that members will not mince words to spare an OP's feelings.

 

Betty,

You are not wrong in "your mind", but others may not feel the same. I was just suggesting that we give him the support that he came here for. The negative comments have been well noted.

 

It just bothers me that too often people want to throw the poster under the bus, with no other options, and they barely know the person. Any usually quite violently.... you MUST, you CANT, you're WRONG, etc.

 

Montsan has clearly indicated that he's had enough of the negative comments, but they keep coming and coming..... That ain't gonna help him.

 

He has also said that he has no intention of leaving his wife, or that he isn't happily married and happy with his present situation.

 

He has feelings, and perhaps he can bring them to an end, and that would probably be the best outcome. Yes, one can have two loves, happens all the time. Sure, with only a week, it's not a deep long term love, but more of a short term but very vivid love for him.

 

I like to let him bring this to and end without all the negative, and then see the comments.

[Montsan]

Thank you for understanding, Rover.

 

 

I posted my story as a means of therapy. I just had to write down all that was troubling me and share it with others. I just couldn't stand harboring all of this alone. I didn't do this to necessarily look for sympathy or advice. Thank you all for commenting. This experience has been very helpful and therapeutic for me.

 

 

Well, it's all over now.

[OldRover]

Thank you for understanding, Rover.

 

 

I posted my story as a means of therapy. I just had to write down all that was troubling me and share it with others. I just couldn't stand harboring all of this alone. I didn't do this to necessarily look for sympathy or advice. Thank you all for commenting. This experience has been very helpful and therapeutic for me.

 

 

Well, it's all over now.

 

Good for you, Montsan.... hope to see you post here in the future, perhaps we can learn from you.

[carhill]

OP, what I would suggest is accepting your sending of the letter to be your act of closure. It is the one act you had complete control over, you made a choice and acted. It is done.

 

In the case I outlined, even though I did get a response, I wasn't expecting one. The act of sending was my final act and, in a very real sense, when the phone rang, I was taken so much by surprise I really lacked good words to speak.

 

We each have our results and we have full control of how we process those results. Your choices are your power. If you must, like that line in the movie, OK, put the secret away and move on in life. That lady at your side right now will likely be the one holding your hand when you die and, in my book, that's a pretty profound thing in life. Good luck!

[MJJean]

It's interesting how a few condemn Montsan and never stop. Double standards, above reproach, betrayal, wrong, divorce him, innappropriate etc. etc.

 

We should not be so eagar to condemn, but offer him the support he can here to get. That's just one of the problems of Forums like this (and this one is not exclusive of unfairly condemning people, some are worse).

 

At this time, he has done nothing wrong. Sure, we can offer a few polite warnings of what "could" happen. But to hang him before he's even thought about a crime is ridiculous.

 

HIS feelings count.

 

So, I man claiming he loves (current, not past tense) a woman he knew for a week, decades ago, and hasn't had contact with since is NOT ridiculous, but condemning him for betraying his wife of something like 30 years IS ridiculous?

 

Yes, he has done something wrong. Secretly contacting someone you claim to be in love with behind your spouses back is wrong. Period. No grey area.

 

Certainly, his feelings count. But feelings aren't an excuse to betray your spouse and marital vows. Otherwise, everyone having an affair or trying to have an affair, PA or EA, gets a pass because feelings.

 

If his feelings are strong enough to warrant betraying his wife, why aren't they strong enough to warrant him taking responsibility for how he feels by being honest with his wife?

 

Oh wait. Never mind. If he was honest about how he feels and what he did about it, his wife might get hurt and angry. She may even decide to leave him or to stop doing what she does to make his life comfortable. Can't have that.

[Whoknew30]

If you are in love with someone else while you are married, you have not fully embraced the choice to forsake all others. You may be faithful to your spouse but you have not fully given them your heart. Would you be okay with your husband pining for his first love, contacting her more than once and hiding those feelings and actions from you?

 

I don't doubt that a married person can cherish a lost loved one while still loving whom they have chosen for life. However, when a spouse says that the lost love is the most important or special, it devalues the love they are supposed to have for their current partner. When people choose to marry and have a monogamous marriage, it means that they reserve their true love for their spouse. Remarrying after a death or divorce is completely different from Montsan's situation.

 

Voluntarily sharing feelings with others comes with the risk of reactions to those emotions. Nobody forced Montsan to post about his issues on LS. Since this is an open forum, anyone can post responses to feelings even if they aren't in agreement with the OP. Just as someone can feel however they want, others are also free to react to shared feelings however they choose. The freedom to experience emotions and react to them goes both ways.

 

All of this is moot since Montsan seems like he has given up on receiving the closure he wants anyway.

 

 

The reality is, not everyone will be able to marry (or stay married...for whatever reason) with what they feel is their true love. It just is what it is, every love is different & how a spouse feels is none of the other spouse's business unless the person feels that way wants to talk about it. You don't "choose" what emotion you feel, the choice part, is how you deal with it.

 

Husbands check women out all the time & think I'd like to have sex with her...should they call up their wives & say...I saw a woman I'd like to have sex with, if they have no intention to really do so? Feelings are one's own & people are entitled (even in marriage) to not have to talk about something they don't want to.

[Whoknew30]

So, I man claiming he loves (current, not past tense) a woman he knew for a week, decades ago, and hasn't had contact with since is NOT ridiculous, but condemning him for betraying his wife of something like 30 years IS ridiculous?

 

Yes, he has done something wrong. Secretly contacting someone you claim to be in love with behind your spouses back is wrong. Period. No grey area.

 

Certainly, his feelings count. But feelings aren't an excuse to betray your spouse and marital vows. Otherwise, everyone having an affair or trying to have an affair, PA or EA, gets a pass because feelings.

 

If his feelings are strong enough to warrant betraying his wife, why aren't they strong enough to warrant him taking responsibility for how he feels by being honest with his wife?

 

Oh wait. Never mind. If he was honest about how he feels and what he did about it, his wife might get hurt and angry. She may even decide to leave him or to stop doing what she does to make his life comfortable. Can't have that.

 

 

He contacted someone he cared for in his past to see how her life went. I really don't understand the divorce talk & what he did in the same post. What would a wife tell everyone, my h fell I love years ago, it didn't work out. We met got married, he never cheated on me but he wrote a letter to this woman 30 years later to see how she is & now I'm going to divorce him.

 

A bit over reactive don't you think?

[MJJean]

The reality is, not everyone will be able to marry (or stay married...for whatever reason) with what they feel is their true love. It just is what it is, every love is different & how a spouse feels is none of the other spouse's business unless the person feels that way wants to talk about it. You don't "choose" what emotion you feel, the choice part, is how you deal with it.

 

Husbands check women out all the time & think I'd like to have sex with her...should they call up their wives & say...I saw a woman I'd like to have sex with, if they have no intention to really do so? Feelings are one's own & people are entitled (even in marriage) to not have to talk about something they don't want to.

 

If one is unable to marry the love of their lives, well, it happens. BUT, I think that person has an obligation to inform their SO BEFORE marriage, that someone else is the love of their lives. If the SO is willing to accept being second fiddle, fine. As long as they were given all the information necessary to make that decision.

 

There is a very big difference between a man or woman seeing someone on the street they find sexually appealing and fantasize momentarily about screwing and someone who actually initiates personal contact.

 

This isn't a man who had a passing thought he never acted on. This is a man who actually acted. He personally contacted this woman.

 

He contacted someone he cared for in his past to see how her life went. I really don't understand the divorce talk & what he did in the same post. What would a wife tell everyone, my h fell I love years ago, it didn't work out. We met got married, he never cheated on me but he wrote a letter to this woman 30 years later to see how she is & now I'm going to divorce him.

 

A bit over reactive don't you think?

 

If my husband tells me he wants to look up his ex and see how she's doing, fine. In fact, he's done that very thing. A quick internet search and a "Huh, she certainly changed! Never thought she'd..." and that's been the end of it. Curiosity about someone you used to know.

 

What this man did was nothing short of betrayal. He didn't inform his wife that this woman is "the love of his life". He concealed from his wife the fact that he looked her up and the fact that he tried multiple ways to contact her. Why? Because he knew she'd be hurt and angry. He was "protecting her", dontcha know! Never mind the way to protect her would have been not to contact the OW.

 

He knew what he was doing was wrong, otherwise he would have done it out in the open. And, further, knowing what he was doing was wrong, he decided to do it anyways.

 

That's the betrayal. That's the reason to consider leaving. Not because he feels the way he does or even that he contacted the other woman, but because he concealed it, was sneaky and secretive about it, because he broke trust.

 

And, frankly, if my DH told me I wasn't the love of his life after 30 YEARS, then tried contacting the love of his life behind my back? Aww, hell no! I'd tell him he is more than welcome to pack his stuff and hop a flight. At that point, I already wasted 30 years of my finite life on someone who is in love with someone else and is a sneaky untrustworthy bast*rd, to boot. I don't need to waste 31.

[Whoknew30]

If one is unable to marry the love of their lives, well, it happens. BUT, I think that person has an obligation to inform their SO BEFORE marriage, that someone else is the love of their lives. If the SO is willing to accept being second fiddle, fine. As long as they were given all the information necessary to make that decision.

 

There is a very big difference between a man or woman seeing someone on the street they find sexually appealing and fantasize momentarily about screwing and someone who actually initiates personal contact.

 

This isn't a man who had a passing thought he never acted on. This is a man who actually acted. He personally contacted this woman.

 

 

 

If my husband tells me he wants to look up his ex and see how she's doing, fine. In fact, he's done that very thing. A quick internet search and a "Huh, she certainly changed! Never thought she'd..." and that's been the end of it. Curiosity about someone you used to know.

 

What this man did was nothing short of betrayal. He didn't inform his wife that this woman is "the love of his life". He concealed from his wife the fact that he looked her up and the fact that he tried multiple ways to contact her. Why? Because he knew she'd be hurt and angry. He was "protecting her", dontcha know! Never mind the way to protect her would have been not to contact the OW.

 

He knew what he was doing was wrong, otherwise he would have done it out in the open. And, further, knowing what he was doing was wrong, he decided to do it anyways.

 

That's the betrayal. That's the reason to consider leaving. Not because he feels the way he does or even that he contacted the other woman, but because he concealed it, was sneaky and secretive about it, because he broke trust.

 

And, frankly, if my DH told me I wasn't the love of his life after 30 YEARS, then tried contacting the love of his life behind my back? Aww, hell no! I'd tell him he is more than welcome to pack his stuff and hop a flight. At that point, I already wasted 30 years of my finite life on someone who is in love with someone else and is a sneaky untrustworthy bast*rd, to boot. I don't need to waste 31.

 

 

First, you're not obligated to talk about anything from your past, that you don't want to...unless you have a disease you can pass on. What a spouse felt for someone in their past, is non of the other's spouses business. They had a life before you & are entitled to that. Marriage is not a ownership of someone's thoughts & feelings. If someone marries you,loves you, & is good & true to you that's all you need to know.

 

He didn't tell his wife bc he's done nothing wrong. Sending a email that asks how you're doing IMO is not a big deal. Could it lead to something, maybe but so can a smile on the street. I don't go by assuming or maybe this or that...I go by facts & fact is he hasn't done anything to be threatened with divorce.

Edited January 29, 2016 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
redacted insult ~6