introverted1 Posted January 18, 2016 Share Posted January 18, 2016 Fishy. As Carhill said, you can access your account and find a record of every call and text. I used to be able to do this with my account but once my plan went to unlimited text/calls, my provider no longer provided an itemization of calls/texts. So I would not have access unless I backed my stuff up to the cloud, which I don't. That said... I do find it odd that he didn't just come by and put a note on your door. I hope this works out in a way that is satisfying to you and allows you to feel good about whatever choice you make. You deserve good things. Link to post Share on other sites
Maggie4 Posted January 18, 2016 Share Posted January 18, 2016 Ah! Finally good news :-) Now I can move on, ha ha. He told you the reason, and there's no need to discuss it any further. I don't think you should have been too quick to get in touch with other men. It's not a good thing to do when you are hurting from this one guy, to try to feel better by getting another guy. That's how a lot of troubles begin. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
getsmartie Posted January 18, 2016 Share Posted January 18, 2016 ^^^ Couldn't agree more! Never a good idea to jump back into dating when you haven't recovered from your last RS. It's an ego boost but it speaks a persons neediness. And in the end you wind up choosing another wrong person. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
dreamingoftigers Posted January 18, 2016 Share Posted January 18, 2016 OMFG !!!! PARDON MY FRENCH He just called !!! HIS PHONE DIED LAST TUESDAY He lost his contact list, he couldn't remember my last name. He went around to buy a phone but didn't want to spend a fortune on a new phone or get locked in a long contract. Anyway a company lend him a phone today, they switched the chip. He could not retrieve his contact list but my text from Thursday came through so he got my number that way. He said several times he thought of driving by but was not sure, but had decided if it was not solved by this weekend he was coming over today and would have waited at my door. GGGRRR !!! This happened to my husband. We lost his fruend's contact info and eventually one of us dough-heads realized we could look him up on Facebook (husband doesn't use Facebook). So they're back in touch now. Took a few weeks. Link to post Share on other sites
dreamingoftigers Posted January 18, 2016 Share Posted January 18, 2016 Maybe that's a woman thing, I dated someone up to one year and he could still not spell all of my name properly. Geez I have colleagues who still can't spell it right after 12 years. My husband wanted to remember my birthday by making it his PIN number for debit. Guess what happened? He forgot his PIN and had to get his card replaced. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
dreamingoftigers Posted January 18, 2016 Share Posted January 18, 2016 My husband wanted to remember my birthday by making it his PIN number for debit. Guess what happened? He forgot his PIN and had to get his card replaced. He also asked me what my phone number is the other day: I took over his old phone number last month, that he had for over three years. :facepalm: 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Saracena Posted January 18, 2016 Share Posted January 18, 2016 He lost his contact list, he couldn't remember my last name. He went around to buy a phone but didn't want to spend a fortune on a new phone or get locked in a long contract. Anyway a company lend him a phone today, they switched the chip. He could not retrieve his contact list but my text from Thursday came through so he got my number that way. !!! Gaeta, I'm glad, though not entirely surprised, you've heard from him at last! While I don't understand the relevance of not being able to remember your last name if the contact list was irretrievable in the first place, I can say that recently when I switched SIM cards from my own phone to an unlocked one abroad-although I'd saved it beforehand-I couldn't retrieve the contact list on the new phone. So yes, it certainly possible. Fingers crossed for you! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
MidwestUSA Posted January 18, 2016 Share Posted January 18, 2016 Gaeta, I'm glad, though not entirely surprised, you've heard from him at last! While I don't understand the relevance of not being able to remember your last name Some people find it odd that two people who have dated for a month and are having sex don't know each other's last names, that's all. If I wake up next to a guy in the morning, and he said 'what's your last name again?', I'd have a problem wth it. No, it's not relevant to him not finding her, he knows where she lives. Maybe it's a cultural or generational thing, I don't know. I like to know who I'm sleeping with. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Emilia Posted January 18, 2016 Share Posted January 18, 2016 I usually know full names, I also know whether they are on facebook or LinkedIn. I don't think I know many who aren't on a networking site of one or another. I also have email addresses for them. I don't think I've dated anyone over the past .... dunno.... 8 years whose online presence I also wasn't aware of. Link to post Share on other sites
Saracena Posted January 18, 2016 Share Posted January 18, 2016 Some people find it odd that two people who have dated for a month and are having sex don't know each other's last names, that's all. If I wake up next to a guy in the morning, and he said 'what's your last name again?', I'd have a problem wth it.. That's not what I meant. I was referring to why he mentioned it during the conversation with Gaeta. While I remember, I have an unusual surname which some people struggle to recall, especially in the initial stages! Link to post Share on other sites
MidwestUSA Posted January 18, 2016 Share Posted January 18, 2016 That's not what I meant. I was referring to why he mentioned it during the conversation with Gaeta. Oh, gotcha. It's part of his lame excuse. A guy who is into you could spell your last name in his sleep. Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted January 18, 2016 Share Posted January 18, 2016 HIS PHONE DIED LAST TUESDAY He said several times he thought of driving by but was not sure, but had decided if it was not solved by this weekend he was coming over today and would have waited at my door. I smell a rat... no doubt... If that had happened to me and I was involved in relationship with a girl I most certainly would have driven over to her house.. or looked at my bill online and gotten her number from it since that is kept on the online bill. Sorry Gaeta... watch this one, he just lied to you. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted January 18, 2016 Share Posted January 18, 2016 it's going to be up to you to decide how much he lied and if the lie was important enough to break up over. I'm not saying that him losing his phone was the lie, I'm saying the phone being the reason for the ghosting is the lie. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
Popsicle Posted January 18, 2016 Share Posted January 18, 2016 Lol You're so cute, Gaeta. (I'm in the group that believes him) 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Snakechammah Posted January 18, 2016 Share Posted January 18, 2016 To be fair, some of my exes and even ones I'm currently dating don't even know my real first name, much less my last name!! I'd rather keep it a secret. But on the other hand, I know their full names, workplace and freaking address! I am stalkerish like that!! Haha - power is great when it's one sided. So yes, it's not uncommon for the men to not know the girl's name but the girl knows everything about the man - including where his mother lives! Good luck Gaeta! Do be wary but don't write him off just yet! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
truth_seeker Posted January 18, 2016 Share Posted January 18, 2016 To be fair, some of my exes and even ones I'm currently dating don't even know my real first name, much less my last name!! I'd rather keep it a secret. But on the other hand, I know their full names, workplace and freaking address! I am stalkerish like that!! Haha - power is great when it's one sided. So yes, it's not uncommon for the men to not know the girl's name but the girl knows everything about the man - including where his mother lives! Good luck Gaeta! Do be wary but don't write him off just yet! So, you're telling me there are women out there who know everything about me, when I know nothing about them? What do I call these women? Creeps? No... that's a term for men only. Link to post Share on other sites
losangelena Posted January 18, 2016 Share Posted January 18, 2016 Wait, why would he need to remember your last name? Would he have looked you up on Facebook or something? He needed your number, not your name. I'm just curious, that jumped out at me. As far as last names are concerned, I get it. Mine is Estonian, and my Indian ex doesn't even technically have a last name, and goes by one in India and another in the States, so it took a while to sort that out. Luckily, the one he uses here is also his vanity license plate, so that made spelling it very easy. Anyway, glad you heard from him, will be curious to see how this goes. Good luck. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Gaeta Posted January 18, 2016 Author Share Posted January 18, 2016 (edited) Here's an update. The last name issue: We started talking last name on here because I asked him if he remembered my last name that way he could have googled me and found my work number. Him not remembering my last name is 0% concern to me. After 1 month I could not remember his that's why I had him type it in my phone himself the previous time we were together. So If I cannot remember his last name after 1 month I am in a really bad place to expect him to remember mine. Like I said he is a foreigner of 10 months here, we find each other's name pretty unusual. Internet illiterate: He's an Internet illiterate. He doesn't have Internet connection at home, only on his phone, he doesn't have a FB account, and is not on any other social media. Without his phone he doesn't have Internet to look me up or look a phone bill or something else. Phone Bill: He said he doesn't get those detailed phone bills, he just gets a total to pay and he makes a payment with his phone. I said but you get a bill? he said yes. I told him to show it to me. He went on my laptop, opened his google email account and showed me a bunch of emails from his phone company. I said that's not your phone bills, he said yes. Again Internet illiterate. I said those are notifications not your actual bill. I helped him create an online account with his phone company and showed him how to look at his detailed bills. Dropping by my place: He said he thought about it each day but then felt it was inappropriate and it was just a matter of a day or 2 for his problem to be solved. My daughter pointed to me that for a whole week I refused to drop at his place because I felt it was inappropriate so I could understand his hesitation. I asked him what he thought I was going through and he said he knew I would be wondering where he is but he never thought I'd imagine him bailing on me. Then he said he realizes 5 days is a long time and he apologized and said he'll never leave me a day with no news. Stress: Someone brought up the stress. This is the least stressful relationship I have been in so far. Of course I went through some stress before our talk on exclusivity but it's normal stress we all go through and now we had this event happening. It's a bump in the road. AT least It's not about being played around. I don't want us to debate he could have done this or that. He didn't for his own reasons. I am giving him a pass on this one. I have his email address now and I gave him a buzz card to keep in his wallet. No more excuses. Thank you all for your time and support and being with me all week. I truly appreciate it! Edited January 18, 2016 by Gaeta 3 Link to post Share on other sites
losangelena Posted January 18, 2016 Share Posted January 18, 2016 Thanks for the clarification. All the best! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
dobielover Posted January 18, 2016 Share Posted January 18, 2016 I usually know full names, I also know whether they are on facebook or LinkedIn. I don't think I know many who aren't on a networking site of one or another. I also have email addresses for them. I don't think I've dated anyone over the past .... dunno.... 8 years whose online presence I also wasn't aware of. I know the first and last before we have sex, I kinda figured that would be important. And certainly once you establish exclusivity and they're your boyfriend, you should know their last name, and they yours. I find this strange to not know the last name of your boyfriend. BF doesn't have any social media, but I know his first middle and last name, DOB, exact income (because he shared, we talked about it), obviously his address, his ex-wife's full new name, and his badge number. That all having been said, that neither of them even knew the most basic detail about the other - their last name - tells me that this relationship isn't that serious at all, and a short departure to cave for whatever reason shouldn't be met with such extreeeeeeeeeeeme suspicion and condemnation as previously observed in this thread. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Gaeta Posted January 18, 2016 Author Share Posted January 18, 2016 That all having been said, that neither of them even knew the most basic detail about the other - their last name - tells me that this relationship isn't that serious at all, and a short departure to cave for whatever reason shouldn't be met with such extreeeeeeeeeeeme suspicion and condemnation as previously observed in this thread. There was no caving. And about the names don't make this what's it's not. We asked each other's full name right at the beginning. He told me his name is tralfhermnafjrapls (that's what it sounds to me) And I tell him thank you, my name is jikklmnhsmerb (that's what it sounds to him) After a few weeks I said: Hey! why don't you type your last name in my contact list cause I can't remember it and wouldn't be able to spell it to save my life. That's how I got it in my phone. I'm done debating the last name thing. Link to post Share on other sites
Emilia Posted January 18, 2016 Share Posted January 18, 2016 Everyone who contracts has a LinkedIn profile. That's the way people find a job today and if he had an OLD profile, he clearly isn't illiterate. Now I'm sure he is a liar. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Gaeta Posted January 18, 2016 Author Share Posted January 18, 2016 Everyone who contracts has a LinkedIn profile. That's the way people find a job today and if he had an OLD profile, he clearly isn't illiterate. Now I'm sure he is a liar. OMG how many times will I have to say he is NOT a contractor !!! His employer is a contractor!! he does not do any work under his name! He is a simple employee! Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted January 18, 2016 Share Posted January 18, 2016 So, when is the next date? Link to post Share on other sites
xxoo Posted January 18, 2016 Share Posted January 18, 2016 Dropping by my place: He said he thought about it each day but then felt it was inappropriate and it was just a matter of a day or 2 for his problem to be solved. My daughter pointed to me that for a whole week I refused to drop at his place because I felt it was inappropriate so I could understand his hesitation. I asked him what he thought I was going through and he said he knew I would be wondering where he is but he never thought I'd imagine him bailing on me. Then he said he realizes 5 days is a long time and he apologized and said he'll never leave me a day with no news. Except that it would be completely inappropriate for you to drop by the place of the man who stopped answering your texts and calls. It's not the same thing at all for the person who has lost phone service to drop by and leave a note explaining that. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
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