being aware of your own mortality.

[minimariah]

so recently -- i experienced airplane flying related anxiety.

 

i noticed that i'm constantly "aware" of how fragile life is. it stops me from being able to make longterm plans - for example... when someone tells me... let's plan a trip to XY in the summer of 2016; my thoughts are "how do you know we'll still be alive by then?" - so i ALWAYS think in that direction. it's like being constantly aware that these seconds i'm living right now may very well be my last.

 

i will seek some counseling to deal with it - it's not really bothering me in my day to day life but it is starting to take a toll on me...

 

BUT does anyone else feel the same?

[loveweary11]

Hmmm.... this is interesting.

 

How long has this been going on?

 

I felt like this for a while after seeing/smelling 9/11 in real life. Felt like there were more crazy people on the streets looking to attack, like there were more attacks like 9/11 coming, like things that aren't all that dangerous were (including flying).

 

After a while, I just naturally went back to normal, which is the other extreme... the feeling that I have the best luck/health in the world and will never die. Seriously, that's how I feel inside, completely invincible. lol

 

So... can you pinpoint approximately when it started?

 

Were you exposed to traumatic death type stuff? Even by the media seeping into your brain?

[TheArtist]

I think everyone does consider that stuff at some point. I've suffered with depression I think, four times now in my life, and it's in those moments that the futility of everything comes into view, and there's little you can do to console yourself.

 

I recall being 16 and my dad had just built a new greenhouse in the garden, and I thought to myself, 'Why bother, we'll all be dead one day'. Not a great thought for someone so young for sure.

 

These days I think it makes me work harder, to really leave something special behind, whether that's art, photography or writing, or even just people smiling.

 

They say that humans have become aware of our own mortality, but have been given a sense of humour to compensate. So use it. A lot.

 

Finally, a great quote for you:

 

Find something you're passionate about and keep tremendously interested in it. - Julia Child

[carhill]

I look at it like this:

 

I make plans and do things in life as I see fit. If I die this morning, I certainly won't care that I failed to complete those plans or do those things. I'll be dead. Pretty simple. Age tends to simplify things, IME, along with loved ones dying and, yup, plans changing. That's life.

[jen1447]

BUT does anyone else feel the same?

 

I'm kinda the opposite in that I assume everyone's gonna live forever, which is equally irrational haha. But then sometimes it becomes extra difficult when ppl die, particularly close ones for whom I think I could have prevented it somehow.

[GunslingerRoland]

I think I have a pretty balanced view on my mortality. I know I'm more than 2/3rds of the age my mom was when she died. And I've had very few relatives live until 90, so I don't have grandiose expectations that I'm going to live into my 90's.

 

 

That being said I'm not even 40 yet, so the idea of not planning stuff for later this year because I may die, seems more like extreme anxiety than practicality.

[dichotomy]

 

BUT does anyone else feel the same?

 

 

Yes - being a cancer survivor I have. Also having turned 50 I think about mortality alot these days. Depressed about it a bit actually. Therapy, having kids, trying new things I would never have done before does help with thinking positively about the future and making some plans.... but not completely.

Edited January 14, 2016 by dichotomy

[WaitingForBardot]

Every morning, my first thought on waking is "Still alive..., cool!". I then proceed to make the most I can of that day. I treat my wife and kids as if it will be the last time I ever get to see them and I do things that I enjoy or that just need doing.

 

So yeah, I'm aware of my mortality, but I don't dwell on it. Given that our whole universe will be heat dead in as few as a couple trillion years, what's the point... ..lol..

[DivorcedDad123]

Yes. I recently had a health scare that would pretty much be a death sentence. I remember laying in bed and thinking," I've had a pretty good life. No complaints really",but " I took things too serious sometimes,I didn't show appreciation or love like I should have to these people,I focused on the wrong thing,I was too hard on "so n so" or "". I decided then to make the most of what I had left. To be kinder,gentler,more easy going,show the ones I love that I do.

It can all be gone in the blink of an eye and the only thing left of you are memories. Make those memories good ones.

[newmoon]

similar to another poster, i have felt this way a few times - after the 9/11 attacks, with each new terror attack, and when my dad recently died. it puts life into perspective and you feel as through your life you could be snuffed out at any moment, so why plan? why care? etc. it deflates your happiness. but the sensations eventually do pass and you have to just keep living. perhaps not enough time has passed between your airplane experience and now? and, in general, i don't think there is anything wrong with being aware of your own mortality, but you shouldn't be putting life on hold in any way. you should be making plans to enjoy it more.

[Els]

I'm the same as you, OP.

 

For me the turning point was when I came to the realization that the religion I had been brainwashed in all my life was a lie. That when you die, you really just cease to exist, instead of believing that I'd go up to "heaven" where we'd all live happily ever after for "eternity". I think I lacked the normal coping mechanism with which most people approach death with, since I'd been raised religious and thus never learnt to cope with the concept of mortality as a kid.

 

Another factor that happened around the same time was that once I attained my independence, my life actually started being GOOD. So instead of being 'meh' about life in general, I realized how important it was to me.

 

Sorry I don't have any advice for you, OP. I'm still hoping I'll find a way to achieve immortality.

[Nilfiry]

Death is an inevitability. To stand still because you fear it will not change anything, and you will only suffer even more.

 

 

That is not to say you should go out and do dangerous and irresponsible things just because. You should live your life the way you see necessary to accomplish your goals. No one knows what will happen exactly in the future, so you can only proceed forward will being mentally prepared at all times as you can be.

 

 

Depending on your beliefs, death may even be a good thing. I for one look forward to it eagerly. I have no intentions of rushing to an early death, however. Although, I cannot say I want to age too old either.

[loveweary11]

 

Sorry I don't have any advice for you, OP. I'm still hoping I'll find a way to achieve immortality.

 

You could achieve immortality like Fry and I:

 

 

:lmao:

 

A very apt quote.

Edited January 15, 2016 by loveweary11

[TheFinalWord]

so recently -- i experienced airplane flying related anxiety.

 

i noticed that i'm constantly "aware" of how fragile life is. it stops me from being able to make longterm plans - for example... when someone tells me... let's plan a trip to XY in the summer of 2016; my thoughts are "how do you know we'll still be alive by then?" - so i ALWAYS think in that direction. it's like being constantly aware that these seconds i'm living right now may very well be my last.

 

i will seek some counseling to deal with it - it's not really bothering me in my day to day life but it is starting to take a toll on me...

 

BUT does anyone else feel the same?

 

I used to, but since placing my trust in Christ I no longer fear death or even anything in that can happen in this life. I know at the end of the day, the

and when I die I will spend eternity in His presence. I don't have a death wish, but I do long for the day I will be with Christ, face to face. St. Paul explains:

 

If I am to go on living in the body, this will mean fruitful labor for me. Yet what shall I choose? I do not know! I am torn between the two: I desire to depart and be with Christ, which is better by far; but it is more necessary for you that I remain in the body.

Edited January 15, 2016 by TheFinalWord

[Michelle ma Belle]

I feel your pain OP.

 

There was a time about 25 years ago where I had panic attacks about life and death and what it all meant and the end of the world...etc.

 

I was newly married around that time and the thought of bringing children into a world that would inevitably destroy itself was a weight of worry I never anticipated.

 

News and media frightened the hell out of me to the point where I literally stopped watching news and reading the newspaper (back in those days we actually read news on paper!). I still am very selective about what I read and/or watch.

 

My faith/religion at the time didn't help, fire and brimstone kind of thing.

 

I've since mellowed out in terms of the all consuming worry I once had thanks to therapy but I am still very aware of how precious life is. Being a parent only exasperate it of course, which is natural I think.

[dichotomy]

Since this has branched out a bit... I will add that I sometimes have doubts in my faith and what happens at death. However, I have spent the last 15 years making a difference in peoples lives - my kids, my wife, some coworkers, my profession, and my town. I can see this affect and change in others and their lives in small and large ways very clearly. I like to think of it like dropping rocks in pond - waves and ripples outward infinitely. Lastly I do see my child carrying a piece of me with her as I did with my parents. So I take some measure of comfort that when my time comes - there something beyond me that lives on - one way or another.

 

Not sure if this helps with feelings of "why make plans" when you think of mortality of it all, but I do think there is something in the ability, the chance each day to continue making those ripples in the pond.

[losangelena]

I too have gone through phases of wondering about life after death, especially now that I've jettisoned my religious beliefs. However, if you are preoccupied with thoughts of death and they're impeding on you ability to plan for the future, that sounds a bit more problematic.

 

Glad you'll be talking to someone. I used to suffer from panic attacks and hypochondria, and saw violent death imagery all the time. Therapy really helped. When you need it, you need it.

[minimariah]

How long has this been going on?

 

not really sure -- it has been kind of slow building for some months now... i don't know how or why - especially because i work in the ER so it's not like seeing or being around death is new to me.

 

for some reason - it's hitting me harder now. mid30ies crisis? LOL.

i cannot point to one exact moment or event that triggered these feelings though.

 

 

I look at it like this:

 

I make plans and do things in life as I see fit. If I die this morning, I certainly won't care that I failed to complete those plans or do those things. I'll be dead. Pretty simple. Age tends to simplify things, IME, along with loved ones dying and, yup, plans changing. That's life.

 

ahhhhh, Carhill! i love reading your posts, you're such a reasonable & calm dude. and yeah - i try to think about it that way but then my brain turns to thoughts about death and it all turns to me being sad that i'll fail to achieve this or that before i die. it's like my mind is playing tricks on me.

 

Yes - being a cancer survivor I have. Also having turned 50 I think about mortality alot these days. Depressed about it a bit actually. Therapy, having kids, trying new things I would never have done before does help with thinking positively about the future and making some plans.... but not completely.

 

i know how you feel -- maybe it's something that comes with age? maybe thoughts about mortality aren't something we can completely be comfortable... ever?

 

I'm the same as you, OP.

 

For me the turning point was when I came to the realization that the religion I had been brainwashed in all my life was a lie. That when you die, you really just cease to exist, instead of believing that I'd go up to "heaven" where we'd all live happily ever after for "eternity". I think I lacked the normal coping mechanism with which most people approach death with, since I'd been raised religious and thus never learnt to cope with the concept of mortality as a kid.

 

Another factor that happened around the same time was that once I attained my independence, my life actually started being GOOD. So instead of being 'meh' about life in general, I realized how important it was to me.

 

Sorry I don't have any advice for you, OP. I'm still hoping I'll find a way to achieve immortality.

 

this post nailed it for me -- very close to how i feel. VERY close - with one small difference; i don't want to give up on my religion. i think my fear of death is one of the reasons, too - i like the comfort of existing after death too much to let go of the religion concept & the entire afterlife idea.

 

you know... my love for SF & immortal creatures totally makes sense now!

[Satu]

I'm a pilot and fly every week, but I still bump into some fear now and again, if I haven't flown for a while, or if visibility is poor.

 

Last week I had a scary dream, that I was flying alone and there were too many aircraft near, me and things were getting chaotic. The sky can be a busy place.

 

So even pilots have their moments...

 

Don't let your fear hold you back in life.

[jen1447]

Another thing to bear in mind mimi is that totally unrelated things like random life trauma can have a distinct effect on your psyche. For ex when my BF split (hard) w/his ex a few years ago he was suddenly addled w/stuff he never had problems with before and hasn't since, like claustrophobia and fear of the dark. (The irrational child-like kind where you dread the sun going down.)

 

Anything particularly bad happen to you lately?

[lana-banana]

The way you describe it, I wonder if your issue isn't mortality but just plain ol' certainty. Maybe you're panicking because you're aware you can't control the future and your brain picks the most obvious image for a total lack of control: death.

 

Could you die at any moment? Sure, but you can't plan your life or even your day around highly unlikely catastrophes. Part of being alive is simply enjoying the present moment, just like part of being young is wasting your beauty and energy on all-nighters and junk food.

 

For all the fears and anxieties I have, death is not among them. I feel like I didn't mind the six billion or so years I wasn't alive, so I probably won't be too upset about the rest of eternity that I'm not alive either. It seems a lot less stressful than juggling my current day to day routine!

[xxoo]

I have dependent children and that is the biggest reason I fear dying. I fear dying before they are grown. Horrible thought.

 

My more irrational, invasive thought, however, is about something happening to them. That's a third rail subject I can't even really type about, but yeah, I do have some invasive/obsessive thoughts about something happening to them that can take me right over the edge at times.....

 

Regarding religion, I was raised with Christianity and the concept of Hell really bothered me as a kid/teen. It was a narrow view of "salvation" in my church, so, as far as I could see, most people I knew, possibly including me, were going to hell Leaving Christianity and studying other religions without the fire and brimstone doctrine was a great comfort to me in this regard and helped me to release my fear of death. But as I said, since having children, I fear leaving them.

[Michelle ma Belle]

I have dependent children and that is the biggest reason I fear dying. I fear dying before they are grown. Horrible thought.

 

My more irrational, invasive thought, however, is about something happening to them. That's a third rail subject I can't even really type about, but yeah, I do have some invasive/obsessive thoughts about something happening to them that can take me right over the edge at times.....

 

Regarding religion, I was raised with Christianity and the concept of Hell really bothered me as a kid/teen. It was a narrow view of "salvation" in my church, so, as far as I could see, most people I knew, possibly including me, were going to hell Leaving Christianity and studying other religions without the fire and brimstone doctrine was a great comfort to me in this regard and helped me to release my fear of death. But as I said, since having children, I fear leaving them.

 

Amen. I couldn't agree more

[lana-banana]

Regarding religion, I was raised with Christianity and the concept of Hell really bothered me as a kid/teen. It was a narrow view of "salvation" in my church, so, as far as I could see, most people I knew, possibly including me, were going to hell Leaving Christianity and studying other religions without the fire and brimstone doctrine was a great comfort to me in this regard and helped me to release my fear of death.

 

Weirdly enough, my biggest terror as a child was eternal life. I could more or less wrap my head around something living and then not living anymore. What I couldn't grasp was existing without end. I tried to imagine what kind of a day I'd have in heaven, then another one, and another one, for all time. My mom says she'd find me shaking and chanting "forever and ever and ever and ever" with my hands over my ears. It was so terrifying!

[jen1447]

Weirdly enough, my biggest terror as a child was eternal life. I could more or less wrap my head around something living and then not living anymore. What I couldn't grasp was existing without end. I tried to imagine what kind of a day I'd have in heaven, then another one, and another one, for all time. My mom says she'd find me shaking and chanting "forever and ever and ever and ever" with my hands over my ears. It was so terrifying!

 

I've heard that that's nothing more than a mathematical problem really. Human beings can't actually conceptualize numbers over sth like 1000, so the extremes are just abstracts, and 'infinite' in the ultimate extreme. It's kinda like trying to ponder astronomical distances and light years and all that - pretty impossible really and always just ends up making you feel weird.