Author Mary3 Posted June 10, 2005 Author Share Posted June 10, 2005 Oh its okay He deserves someone who wants him in everyway and I wish him the very best. I just was hoping he could look at me like a friend and not want to end it because I did not want to get romantic... Honest to God he is handsome but we did not click in the sexual sense....at least for me...anyway...I need to be handled a certain way and it just wasnt there... Link to post Share on other sites
mental_traveller Posted June 15, 2005 Share Posted June 15, 2005 Originally posted by Mary3 Guys : How would you feel if you heard the following : " I dont want to get sexual with you . I just see you as a friend . I don't want to jeapardize our friendship by * going there *. I sincerely meant it though too...I dont want to * go there * but dont want to lose him as a friend..... I didn't want to play games . I told him early on. I don't feel bad about what I said because thats how I feel. Thoughts ? Assuming I was single - if she was an exceptionally interesting person to hang around with, then I'd stay distant friends and maybe meet up a few times a year. In all other cases, I'd drop her like a hot potato. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mary3 Posted June 15, 2005 Author Share Posted June 15, 2005 Mental Traveler....What if you had a nice neighbor who invited you over for BBQ's and long talks but you were not sexually attracted to her....should you drop her as a friend because she was not having sex with you ? Link to post Share on other sites
chaos70 Posted June 15, 2005 Share Posted June 15, 2005 I personally don't think guys can go from love interest back to friends in that stage. Looking back at myself, the girls who I always thought of as friends...have been friends. The ones that I developed an interest for (had a big one in college), I found myself trying to avoid because I couldn't go back to being friends. Some guys maybe different. Link to post Share on other sites
TUDOR Posted June 15, 2005 Share Posted June 15, 2005 Mary3, you do realize you have just given this guy a challenge which makes you even more attractive to him! Some men are thick headed, no pun intended! Link to post Share on other sites
Marshbear Posted June 15, 2005 Share Posted June 15, 2005 Originally posted by Mary3 Mental Traveler....What if you had a nice neighbor who invited you over for BBQ's and long talks but you were not sexually attracted to her....should you drop her as a friend because she was not having sex with you ? If I was not attracted to her it would be no problem. Sometimes though when you spend lots of time with them you can become attracted.... Then the sh*t hits the fan. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mary3 Posted June 15, 2005 Author Share Posted June 15, 2005 Chaos : So if a guy is attracted to a girl and then the girl says she does not want to be romantically involved with the guy , and then the guy makes her a friend . Is he really trying to be her friend or is he hoping she will change her mind and want him more romantically ? PS : Tudor thanks that was cute Link to post Share on other sites
SuperFantastico Posted June 16, 2005 Share Posted June 16, 2005 He is pretending to be her friend, hoping she will change her mind. I hope for this guys sake he ends the friendship(no offence to you). Because if he trys to be just your friend, it will eat him up inside. There is nothing as devestating as unrequented love. They've actually added it to the mental sickness list, as of two or three months ago(maybe more?!). Thats how bad it hurts people. What i find so bizzare about this whole thing is how you keep mentioning how he didnt touch you 'right'?!? So if he did, you would have been with him?!?!?!?!? p.s. ok you said it like two times. still . Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mary3 Posted June 16, 2005 Author Share Posted June 16, 2005 Post 4 describes that he did began touching me and I did not want it to go further...He has ended our friendship ( I think - he isn't calling me anymore ) in his own way and so I can assume it is more difficult than I imagined. I just wanted to know if 2 people could be friends without sex ..guess so far ...no.....I have heard where other posters have guys as friends...But by doing the honest thing and not leading him on, I lost him as my friend. Maybe someday he will want to hang out again but not likely .... Link to post Share on other sites
InmannRoshi Posted June 16, 2005 Share Posted June 16, 2005 I hope for this guys sake he ends the friendship(no offence to you). Because if he trys to be just your friend, it will eat him up inside. There is nothing as devestating as unrequented love. They've actually added it to the mental sickness list, as of two or three months ago(maybe more?!). Thats how bad it hurts people. I agree, just drop the A-bomb on him and let him move on. Otherwise the poor sap is staring in the mirror everyday pummeling away at himself and wondering what perceived flaws he could change to make you like him. Errr ... not that I know from experience or anything ... just sayin'. Link to post Share on other sites
Marshbear Posted June 16, 2005 Share Posted June 16, 2005 Originally posted by Mary3 Post 4 describes that he did began touching me and I did not want it to go further...He has ended our friendship ( I think - he isn't calling me anymore ) in his own way and so I can assume it is more difficult than I imagined. I just wanted to know if 2 people could be friends without sex ..guess so far ...no.....I have heard where other posters have guys as friends...But by doing the honest thing and not leading him on, I lost him as my friend. Maybe someday he will want to hang out again but not likely .... I know it's hard Mary. As hard as it is on you it's doubly hard on him. You like him as a person and his personality. You get along great and like talking to him and doing things together. He likes all those things also and he has a sexual interest in you. Feelings will ruin a friendship. He can't help but feel that he is not good enough for you. Some guys will hide their feelings and never go there with the women they like. If there is no sexual attraction between the 2 parties then you are free to be friends. Rarely can 2 people spend alot of time together and one of them not become attracted. It sucks and its not fair but that's just life. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mary3 Posted June 16, 2005 Author Share Posted June 16, 2005 Thank you Marshbear I have let him go as my friend because that is the right thing to do for him. Because I do like him I have empathized with how he must feel. So my question goes back to the Guys : A girl whom you are not physically interested in begins touching you....what do you do ? ( No wait dont answer that lol Link to post Share on other sites
Cecelius Posted June 28, 2005 Share Posted June 28, 2005 I'd assume you wanted to be friends (to most men that means that you are happy to have a dude around who wants you to feed your ego, but that's it). I'd be unlikely to stick around as a friend (that's just dopey) unless you had really hot friends you could introduce to me. Link to post Share on other sites
Marshbear Posted June 28, 2005 Share Posted June 28, 2005 So my question goes back to the Guys : A girl whom you are not physically interested in begins touching you....what do you do ? ( No wait dont answer that lol I would run like hell. To be honest I would tell her exactly what you told your friend. It works both ways. Peace... Link to post Share on other sites
outdated Posted June 28, 2005 Share Posted June 28, 2005 Originally posted by Mary3 Chaos : So if a guy is attracted to a girl and then the girl says she does not want to be romantically involved with the guy , and then the guy makes her a friend . Is he really trying to be her friend or is he hoping she will change her mind and be romantic? Not necessarily. It depends on the depth of his lust. Originally posted by SuperFantastico He is pretending to be her friend, hoping she will change her mind. This is a generalization. Most of the time, this is probably true. I have a friend that's a girl that is super cool. We kissed once, agreed that it wasn't what we wanted and continue to be buddies even though both of us have others. I like it because it gives me a look into the female psyche without having the cloud of "love emotions" and she gets a look into the male mind as well- it's mutually beneficial but completely non-sexual. I have absolutely no desire to be anything more than friends with her and her the same. But I agree this is probably rare, but you have to have a strong will. Originally posted by Mary3 I just wanted to know if 2 people could be friends without sex. Yes, but the feeling of friendship has to be mutual. If not, no way. Link to post Share on other sites
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