Otter2569 Posted January 15, 2016 Share Posted January 15, 2016 Over the last several weeks my BPD ExGF has slipped deeper and deeper into depression. Its an exhausting nightmare! I noticed that her moods changed at about the time i started seeing a relationship therapist. They helped me understand BPD and deal more effectively with her moods etc. When I was more able to deal with her by setting boundaries, diffusing and in some cases actually making arguments that she listened too she began getting worse. I was able to call her out and basically stop taking her crap and putting it back on "her" for acting out. Just curious if this added to her situation Link to post Share on other sites
jen1447 Posted January 15, 2016 Share Posted January 15, 2016 She's XGF again now? Not a psychologist but my guess is that she's going thru a dip bc you're no longer indulging her narrative. (Ppl who are fundamentally irrational manage to get on nonetheless mainly by pressuring those around them to just go w/the flow rather than butt heads.) Anyway when you stop giving her that she's left w/reality so to speak, and the implications of her having to change over it, and that can indeed be depressing. The good news (I hope) is that it's the first step to getting back on the right track. Sometimes we have to be torn down before we can be rebuilt. (Think rationalizations, flawed premises, and just bscly poor logic all around.) Link to post Share on other sites
Author Otter2569 Posted January 15, 2016 Author Share Posted January 15, 2016 Honestly I could see the difference in the arguments and issues that would come up - for once I began to feel I was dealing with her more effectively and making some progress rather than evolving into a circular arguments and letting her run the emotional chaos. She knew I was seeing a relationship therapist and I would tell her some of the things we talked about i.e. red flags in our relationship, her controlling behavior and pointing out her issues that were causing the disruption as well as my setting boundaries. Maybe its pure coincidence but I seemed to become empowered as she began going down hill. Link to post Share on other sites
jen1447 Posted January 16, 2016 Share Posted January 16, 2016 Well it sounds like the power balance definitely shifted so yeah. Again tho this isn't a competition - hopefully if she gets her mind right as a result of having to confront unpleasant realities about her dysfunction, it'll all be for the best in the end. But that can be a long road ....that house of cards has to come down and it's probably got 100 different rooms. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Otter2569 Posted January 16, 2016 Author Share Posted January 16, 2016 Shes ExGF...again! Too much instability combined with lack of trust, insecurity, inability to forgive now depression and not willing to take medication for it. Un-freaking believable. Once that downward spiral starts its like a tsunami. As usual I put up with too much for too long but I am happy to have had some professional help along the way Link to post Share on other sites
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