Autism and missing social cues

[Cecil22]

I am learning that on the autism spectrum people can miss social cues in both extremes. Some autistic men may miss the signs that a woman is interested and wants to go out with them and other autistic men may miss the signs that she is not interested.

 

Am I correct that autism can lead guys to miss cues on either extreme? I can understand the need for therapy if the autism is causing a guy to fail to pick up on clues that the woman is not interested as this will likely get him in trouble with the law and harassment.

 

But if it is on the other extreme where the autism is causing a man to miss the signs that a woman is interested in exploring intimate relationship with him then therapy won't be necessary and it would be a waste of time and money since failing to pick up on signs that other people are interested will not get him in trouble with the law.

[solway86]

I have Asperger's Syndrome but my problem is I cannot tell when a woman is interested rather than the other way round; I can tell when they're not interested.

 

Patricia Howlin's book on autism/Asperger's syndrome in adulthood is worth a read. It's a bit dry and academic, but useful if you need to know about things like this.

 

Hope this helps!

[JustGettingBy]

Also someone with AS here.

 

I was usually completely clueless, so to play it safe, I often avoided making any move and as a result had a LOT of missed opportunities.

 

If its missing 'not interested' signs, therapy is probably best. Missing interested signs, there's a bunch of sites, blogs, etc. that'll help. Never depend on a single site, though. Look at several and pay attention to the signs that everyone mentions.

 

Will also check out Patricia Howlin's book since the other poster also recommended it.

[Cecil22]

That's my issue. I can tell when a woman is not interested. I know when to give it up and move on. I just don't know when to pursue and cannot read the signals of interest. My mindset is all about playing it safe with women.

[Cecil22]

Do women get turned off when guys miss their buying signals? If so then isn't it kind of a moot point anyway if I miss her signals? Eventually she is going to stop throwing out signals because she is turned off and it won't matter that she had genuine interest in the past. So I may never know if a woman who is presently turned off was ever turned on to begin with. Failing to recognize signs of interest will cause her to lose interest.