CFH1183 Posted January 16, 2016 Share Posted January 16, 2016 Alright, well I'm new here yall. I figured a little back story about myself would be pertinent to my situation so here we go. I'm 21, divorced, and currently on an alcohol monitor for my second DWI. Uh well theres the baseline of it, ill explain more as we go on here. I apologize if this is a hard read I aint too good at tellin stories online. The issue I have is one of love. I am and have been madly in love with uh, lets jus say my first true love from a town a few hours away where I went to high school for a bit. I ended up movin with my dad so we broke it off because lets face it, how many long distance high school relationships last? Well time went on we dated on an off because we jus never could let each other go, we had plans to get married when I got out of basic training, well I got injured and discharged. Well beins how that had only ever been my plan after high school I hit a low spot and fell into the bottle. Fast forward a year and I meet another highschool ex from my current town in a bar. She was married at the time and I stole her away, we got married within 7 months and things were ok for the most part. At this point in a high functioning alcoholic with a pretty good payin oilfield job at age 20. Through all of this I never stop talkin to the other gal, I had simply resigned to simply bein friends, great plan right? No terrible plan. I'd get drunk and wed fight and id tell my wife how much she wasn't like her and how much crap she was puttin me through and we finally divorced after a year. Well now we are dating again because she bailed me out of jail and she's my only financial support right now. Things are well enough I suppose but I cam never get my mind off the other gal, we still email and I try my best to be just friends but more often than not my heart wins out and I tend to tell her how I really feel about her. To the point that nowadays I'm planning my future more with her than my gf/ex wife. Now if you've made it this far, thank you, and what the hell am I supposed to do? I care alot about both of these girls but I jus dont feel compatible with my gf, I mean we divorced for a reason right? I thought I would think differently bein sober but I'm finding thats not the case, if anything I yearn for the other even more so now.. Any and all help and advice is appreciated. Again I know its a long read but thank you. Link to post Share on other sites
NopeNah Posted January 16, 2016 Share Posted January 16, 2016 How long have you been 'clean'? Personally...I'd give sobriety a while to clear your head,get whatever job you can within walking/biking distance(assuming you lost your DL) and be alone for a while. Link to post Share on other sites
goldway90 Posted January 16, 2016 Share Posted January 16, 2016 "She was married at the time and I stole her away, we got married within 7 months and things were ok for the most part." This was your first mistake man i mean did you really expect that marriage to last?. Your plan is to focus on being sober first, talk to your ex wife dude don't lead her on. Stay away from dating just enjoy the single life. Link to post Share on other sites
Author CFH1183 Posted January 16, 2016 Author Share Posted January 16, 2016 How long have you been 'clean'? Iv been clean in the sense that I can responsibly drink (learn how to put it down) since Oct. I haven't touched a drink since Dec 15 though in the time between Oct an Dec I only drank a couple of times an even so I didn't get drunk jus casually had a couple beers. As far as work my aunt is helpin me out with transport cuz we live 17 miles outside town Link to post Share on other sites
wlh22 Posted January 17, 2016 Share Posted January 17, 2016 I think you just need to do 2 things... go sober (100% no alchohol) for a year or two at least (and who knows you may continue that) AND be single (no hookups and stuff) and focus on yourself and life for a while Link to post Share on other sites
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