Harmless fun or a fast track to hell?

[BigB]

Good work Carla, keep it up.

 

Stay busy it helps a lot. Avoid your friend that use and the places you used to go high.

 

Go for a bike ride, go to the beach, read a good book, re-connect with some of your sober friends, watch a sunset, cook some good food, get high on life, I know it sounds lame but it's true.

 

It took me a long time, but I realize now that going for a bike ride at the park or playing some baseball with my friends, makes me feel 10 times better than I ever did when I was high.

 

and please, please, go check out NA or something, you can't do this alone.

[miss-gonewest]

Originally posted by Carlawasgood

I was invited out to a party and to dinner but couldn't stand the thought of being sober. I feel so isolated.

I don't think I'm ready to give up the only joy I have left in my life. Yet.

 

Yep, I hear ya, I'm the same with coffee, cigarettes and booze... and you know why? Cos its habit!!!

 

Its habit I wake up in the morning, light a fag and make a coffee... and its habit I smoke at certain times of the day, and its habit I come home and pour a glass of wine after a tough day, and its habit I think about what to drink on a Friday night... and these things give me joy because I'm used to doing them! I can rely on them! They don't let me down and they always make me feel better.... crazy huh

 

The good news? Is that habits are made to be broken!!! And its easi to break them, as soon as u realise u want to break them, and thats where ur at, so good for u Carla!!

 

Dont look at the big picture, just look at todaz and deal with that...

 

I have to stop writing now because mz kezboard is plazing up ß see ß none of mz kezs are workign properlz... sorrz.

[EnigmaXOXO]

just don't understand why no one else wants to party as hard as me?? Don't they find these endless dinners and housewarmings lame? I can't believe how bored and irritated I feel at such mundane social outings. I feel like I have to make the most out of every free moment outside of work.

 

Imagine what you could do with that $300 you were blowing every week up your nose.

 

Don't like hum-drum…want to do something more exciting with your free time?

 

Try to seek out your adrenaline rush in more healthy ways. Ways that will provide you with exciting experiences, personal fulfillment, round you out as a person and make you more interesting…not to mention add to the repertoire of things you can talk about and share with others when the conversation gets boring.

 

Ever want to travel somewhere exotic, go on an adventure? Daring enough to try bungee jumping, sky diving, mountain climbing, scuba diving or white water rafting? Depending on how athletic you are, there are many extreme sports, expeditions and training classes you can enroll yourself in to meet people just like you who are looking to escape the every-day mundane. It can be rewarding, challenging, and provide the excitement you're looking for.

 

There has GOT to be something you always wished you could do given the time and money. Since you seem to have both, the sky is the limit. The only one holding you back is you.

[shamen]

Originally posted by BigB

Good work Carla, keep it up.

 

Stay busy it helps a lot. Avoid your friend that use and the places you used to go high.

 

Go for a bike ride, go to the beach, read a good book, re-connect with some of your sober friends, watch a sunset, cook some good food, get high on life, I know it sounds lame but it's true.

 

It took me a long time, but I realize now that going for a bike ride at the park or playing some baseball with my friends, makes me feel 10 times better than I ever did when I was high.

 

and please, please, go check out NA or something, you can't do this alone.

 

I second all of these thoughts. My biggest help was and continues to be working out.

 

Things will seem a little boring for a while... You've just got to stick it out for a bit. It always stays a little different, but you get used to it. I'm glad I don't use anymore. Yeah, it's really exciting to be high, but it's really depressing afterwards. And the money that you spend and the situations that you find yourself in just aren't worth it. Along with a long list of other reasons why you don't need to continue to do it...

 

I've found that one of the biggest helps for me has been connecting to other people who used to use but no longer do. My current beau used to use years ago too and it's weird how much this conversation does come up. People who have never been addicts get it, but only to a point (no offense to those non-former addicts here).

 

So, in that sense a recovery program or NA is a good way to go. It is EXTREMELY hard to do this by yourself. I moved from my old city to get clean. Started over. This is not a necessity, but you do have to avoid anyone you used to use with.

 

You've got to find something else to be passionate about... Do you have a hobby? Not going out is not going to solve the problem (but you've got to find new places to go that are not connected to alcohol/drugs). Neither will going to work every day. Talking will help (recovery center, NA, friend who understands, something!). So will writing and reading. And sometimes it's even about what you're going through.

 

Good job on what you've done so far. It's the right thing, girl. You'll get through it. Just keep talking... I hope that you continue to post here as you need to.

 

EDIT:

Oh, and Enigma's ideas are good too. I do a lot of outdoor activities to keep myself sane.

[Ifrit]

Originally posted by ReluctantRomeo

Maybe turn off the porn and instead concentrate on real life, friends and making yourself fit for a real girlfriend?

 

Ouch. Buddy, I do have a real life and a girlfriend, you shouldn't make the stereotype that every porn addict is a loner who can't have a real relationship. In fact, a substantial number of addicts are already married (mostly men) or in relationships , just read this forum under "addiction and recovery" and see for yourself.

[SexKitten]

Originally posted by EnigmaXOXO

Denial sets in long before the physical addiction. It's what paves the way. The minute you start using drugs/alcohol/tobacco with the attitude "I can handle it"… you're already well on your way.

 

that's not true for everyone. if that were the case, than every person who ever took a sip of alcohol or tried a drug once would be an alcoholic or a drug addict...and that isn't the case. i know that "just one time can get you addicted" but "CAN" is the operative word. it has the ability to...but it doesn't always happen that way. some people just do stuff, they try it out of boredom, curiosity, maybe they even like it. then the night is over and they're back to their regular lives. some people even occasionally do something if it's around...and then once again go back to life as usual. not everyone gets sucked into this big black hole that is painted by drug counsellors and people who think they know everything.

 

 

however, carlawasgood, i do believe based on your words that you are in denial, and you need to get help right away.

 

i am one of those people who have tried most things under the sun. occasionally, if there is something around i might be interested in, i might do it, i might not.

 

this may make me sound like a hypocrit...but the point is that some people can live without it, and some people cannot. you are the type that, admittedly, cannot, and you are dangerously stepping into that hole, saying "i'm fine, it's just every weekend---"

 

be careful.

[scarlyjones]

Originally posted by SexKitten

 

 

that's not true for everyone.. not everyone gets sucked into this big black hole that is painted by drug counsellors and people who think they know everything.

 

 

 

Ya know,..drug counselors and people who think they know everything,...have spent time learning about this stuff. Alot more than you have. Some of these people have made it their careers. How can you post what you just posted? How can you make that statement about "thats not true for everyone"? You said that like you looked it up or something. Counselors dont take pleasure in "scaring" people into believing some addiction superstitions so they can drum up some business for themselves. Its not like they get frequent flyer miles for every drunk that seeks help. This is the truth. There is no other point of view on this except this one -------> ANYONE WHO ABUSES ANY DRUG OR ALCOHOL WILL BECOME DEPENDANT AND be sucked into that black hole you spoke of earlier. There is a very small window where people can actually quit whenever they want. Its just that most dont. THEN they cant.

[SexKitten]

Originally posted by scarlyjones

Ya know,..drug counselors and people who think they know everything,...have spent time learning about this stuff. Alot more than you have. Some of these people have made it their careers. How can you post what you just posted? How can you make that statement about "thats not true for everyone"? You said that like you looked it up or something. Counselors dont take pleasure in "scaring" people into believing some addiction superstitions so they can drum up some business for themselves. Its not like they get frequent flyer miles for every drunk that seeks help. This is the truth. There is no other point of view on this except this one -------> ANYONE WHO ABUSES ANY DRUG OR ALCOHOL WILL BECOME DEPENDANT AND be sucked into that black hole you spoke of earlier. There is a very small window where people can actually quit whenever they want. Its just that most dont. THEN they cant.

 

by "people who think they know everything" i meant "everything about every individual." sure, these people know about drugs, and consequences, blah blah blah. it's their JOB to do that. but their job does not include knowing each individual and how they handle things themselves. they don't know every single circumstance about everything. if they tried to tell me i was an addict now or before now, i would laugh in their faces, just as i laugh in yours.

 

i can say it's not true for everyone because IT'S NOT TRUE FOR EVERYONE. just because you got sucked into that lifestyle and had to claw your way out doesn't mean it happens to everyone. far too many people, yes, but not all.

 

i didn't get sucked into it. but i am stronger than that and i know it. some people aren't, but some people are. you're saying that every person who takes a sip of alcohol is going to become addicted. that's ridiculous, and so is your warped way of thinking. i don't expect much more than that from you, though.

 

if you read my whole post, you would understand what i was getting at.

 

and so, not everyone turns into an addict. simple as that. and i know that because i am me, and i didn't. i also know hundreds of others who didn't.

 

you obviously don't get it, which isn't hard to believe at all.

[moimeme]

but "CAN" is the operative word. it has the ability to...but it doesn't always happen that way

 

No, however by the time it has, it's too late. So to assume you'll be fine is kinda risky. It's like assuming that you won't get lung cancer if you smoke because your relatives smoked and were fine. By the time you find out you're the exception, it's too late to fix. You also don't know if you're one of the people who react very badly. It's bad enough that drugs which are supposed to cure your maladies might harm you - why ingest any more drugs than absolutely necessary, given the possibility of risk.

 

And don't give me that 'you can get hit by a car' story because I'll reach through the computer and smack you.

[SexKitten]

Originally posted by moimeme

No, however by the time it has, it's too late. So to assume you'll be fine is kinda risky. It's like assuming that you won't get lung cancer if you smoke because your relatives smoked and were fine. By the time you find out you're the exception, it's too late to fix. You also don't know if you're one of the people who react very badly. It's bad enough that drugs which are supposed to cure your maladies might harm you - why ingest any more drugs than absolutely necessary, given the possibility of risk.

 

And don't give me that 'you can get hit by a car' story because I'll reach through the computer and smack you.

 

i know all that. my argument was that it doesn't take everyone "the minute" they do something to get addicted; someone else said that.

 

i never gave a "hit by a car" analogy; i don't think that makes any sense whatsoever. although, 2 days ago my boyfriend got back into the car and i thought he was turning lights off or something. i didn't move, he didn't look, and he backed right into me. he needed to repark it a little.

 

i'm fine.