I need advice from anyone that has experience with getting back an ex!

[hurtinginWisonsin]

OK this is somewhat of a long story but even typing it out will make me feel better, none of my friends care enough to listen and give me good advice on what to do.

 

I went out with the same girl for 3 years. We were very close, no other girlfriend of mine even comes close to the level which her and I reached. We would be together all the time, always having a good time and really... it's just an unexplainable feeling that comes to my mind when I try to explain it. If it really wasn't love, it was by far the closest I've ever been to love...

 

Anyways, after 3 years she broke up with me out of nowhere for another guy. I was just a wreck, I couldn't even handle seeing her because it just made me feel so bad inside knowing that we weren't together... and even worse if I ever saw her with her new boyfriend. It hurt me so bad, I just couldn't take it and I actually moved out of town just to get away from her. Sounds a little drastic, but at the time it seemd to be a good idea. I lived in another state for 9 months before moving back to my home town.

 

Upon returning, about three months ago, everything was the same as it was before. She was still with him, and I still had to see her with him every once in a while. All the pain which I pushed to the back of my mind when I moved away was all coming back. I had the same horrible feelings day after day. No matter how hard I tried I couldn't get over her.

 

This Wednesday (4 days ago) everything changed. I was having a guys night over at one of my friends places, when out of nowhere she phoned me. I saw the number on my Caller ID and my heart started beating faster. It was the frist time she had phoned me in months and months. I wondered why she was phoning me, because her boyfriend hated me and wouldnt even let her speak with me. It was at that point when one of my friends told me that her and her boyfriend had just broken up. I was shocked. She not only wanted me to come see her, but she wanted me to meet her at our old favorite park where we both used to spend alot of time with each other. It was a secluded spot where we could just relax and talk to each other on hot summer days when we were together. I left my friends house and went to see her, I couldn't resist even it did mean ditching out on the guy's night. I told them I was sick and was going to bed.

 

I met her at about midnight at our old spot. We spent hours talking about old times and catching up on things. Throughout the conversation I tried to avoid talking about how much I missed her because I didn't want to cause an awkward situation. We ended up talking until 6AM when the sun came up. At some point in the early morning I couldn't hold it in any longer and just told her everything that was on my mind, abotu how much I missed her, how much I wanted her back, how I've never stopped thinking about her, and eventually broke down and started crying, which caused her to start crying as well. So much for not making things awkward.

 

After basically telling her everything I had been storing up for months, I was waiting for some kind of reply from her. She told me that I was too good for her, and that I deserve a better girlfriend because she isn't good enough for me. She then told me that I should just forget about her. This crushed me; I didn't even know what she was saying.

 

I thought there was a reason for her phoning me many times in one night to come see her, and her picking our particular spot, and talking until 6AM with me. It just felt like there was more to it than just friends talking.

 

I dont' know what to do, but I will do absolutely anything to get this girl back. I don't know how to attempt to start things off with her again. I definetley came on far too strong when I started telling her everything that I was thinking in my head at the time. I don't know if I should just try to make better friends with her frist, or go right into trying to take her out on dates again. I'm very confused and don't know what to do, all I can think about is getting my old girl back. Thank you for anyone that bothered to read my story, it felt good just to get that out.

[ReluctantRomeo]

Well, this seems to be a common enough scenario - girl dumps guy, tries new guys, realises old one was better, tries to get back with him.

 

There are all sorts of issues you need to sort through. The most important is to be sure that you won't simply repeat the previous break-up for the same reasons. Another is to be sure that she's not just looking for familiar comfort on a rebound.

 

She told me that I was too good for her, and that I deserve a better girlfriend because she isn't good enough for me. She then told me that I should just forget about her.

 

Bad sign in my experience.

 

Be careful. I've seen reconciliations work, but you have to go slowly and keep your brain switched on at all times.

 

 

I dont' know what to do, but I will do absolutely anything to get this girl back

 

This does not sound to me like keeping your brain switched on. You need to be open to this not working out. Think of it being 50/50.

 

 

I couldn't resist even it did mean ditching out on the guy's night. I told them I was sick and was going to bed.

 

Don't be her puppy dog. This is the behaviour most likely to hurt you and least likely to win her.

[North Shore]

Yup. What he said. On the nose.

[chaos70]

Yea. Make sure this isn't the yo-yo effect. You need to make sure that the same process won't happen again...and again. You need to find some assurance within yourself that she has indeed changed for the better and wants you as much as you want her. Not just fairweather gf.

[sleeplessincnd]

Well i would say that you have done the first part - telling her how you feel. Now you need to make her miss you and wonder - SO NO CONTACT UNTIL SHE CALLS YOU!

 

GOT IT??

 

I know that it sucks that it is a game but you can't win unless you play. Don't call her and she will wonder where you are and what is going on and then she will start to miss you, call you and give in.

 

People only want what they can't have so make her think that she can't have you. That, coupled with knowing that you care about her is the best way to have any chance of it working out. It's reverse psychology but it totally works.

 

 

My ex and I were the same way, I was telling him I loved him and yadda yadda and the minute I stopped and got my own life he started calling and wanted to get back together. We are now broken up again but the point is, that's how you get her back.... as for keeping her? I don't know? That part didn't work so well for us!

 

Good luck!