I'm obsessed with Her

[Jack420]

Hello fellows,

 

I have a confession and I'm desperate, I like some girl a lot, I've been in love with some girls but this one is something special.

 

She did absolutely nothing, she's mystical and she's driving me crazy...I listen to music a lot and some songs remind me of her, when I finish school early I wait for her despite the fact that she finishes later, just so I can see her...not in a stalking or creepy way...for purposes of my "obsession" with her "special-ness".

 

I can't describe the feeling but whenever she glances at me I'd just like to explode...its something completely different than all other crush girls.

 

I sensed some glances at me from her, she might like me but I'm 3 years older.

 

We go to same highschool, she's 1st year in 4th(last) so this sucks because I'm leaving the school next year...is she too young?

 

What to do, how can I calm myself down, help. Please.

[preraph]

She's not too young to date. She's too young to try to have sex with, though. And I guess whether she's too young to date is really up to her parents. When I was in high school, sophomores dated seniors, typically. But some parents don't like that.

 

It's easy to get obsessed with someone, and obsession isn't healthy, but it happens. I just want you to keep in mind a couple of things.

 

First of all, sounds like you don't really know the girl. You just know you like her looks, the way she acts from afar. The rest, you are filling in out of your "ideal girl" in your head, and this is the ONLY reason she seems perfect to you. If you knew her, she most definitely is not the ideal girl in your head. She is her own imperfect self, just like the rest of us. So please try to remember you are assuming she has these traits but you do not know because you do not know her. And she probably does not.

 

Obsession isn't fun, and yes, it can turn into unhealthy stalking, etc. So the goal here is to resolve this as soon as possible by getting to know her if possible OR being turned away if that's the case. You do not want to approach her as "just a friend," because that would be a lie from which you'd never recover and you'd be stuck in that role from now on, I promise. So you want to actually ask her out. Is there a dance coming up? If so (and you can tell she isn't already seeing another boy), go up and ask her. Not "Are you going to the dance?" If she doesn't know your name, introduce yourself. If she does, then just "Hey, would you go to the dance with me that's coming up? I think it would be fun." She may say she already has a date. No big deal. Don't take it personal. She didn't know YOU were going to ask.

 

If there's nothing like that coming up, maybe a game or just to go get a pizza after school. If you have a car, you could always offer her a ride home from school, though her mother has likely told her not to do that until she knows the person.

 

As far as approaching her, just fall in step with her going down the hall. Don't lurk around and wait for her to be alone, because that's cowardly and girls don't like that. Why? Because they aren't going to give their friends up for you, so you may as well get used to it now.

 

That would be the most direct way. If you'd rather text, which I don't recommend, but don't have her number, you could maybe leave a short note in her locker with your name (only if she knows your name) and your phone number and say "Hi, text me. I want to ask you something. 555-312-4520."

Then she will either text or not. If she texts you, now you have her number and you need to pick up the phone and CALL, not text her back and ask her out.

 

If you don't act on this, you will waste a lot of time and years down the road you will find out she wasn't even all that and hate yourself for never at least trying to ask her out and get to know her. And whatever you do, do NOT confess you are crushing on her. Stay casual and friendly and loose, not tense and scared. Fake it if you have to. Good luck.

[Popsicle]

This is really cute.

[smackie9]

Yes too young. 3 years at your age is a huge age gap.....plus her parents will block any advances.

[Jack420]

@preraph

 

I see where you're pointing at, from what I see you're really good at this and I'm already more calm.

I do not by any ways want to have sexual intercourse with this girl, in fact I don't even know what would I do if I had any girlfriend.

 

I never had a girlfriend before so I don't know how this really works, if I'm honest I'd just like to look at her (this isn't ment to be creepy, like starring), I have to learn a lot on this area.

 

Basically one reason for my 'desperation?' is that she is so young, I would've asked her out if she was a bit older.

I have to get some courage which I lack a lot.

 

Thank you for your answers, advices are welcome.