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Need a reality check


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Need support from this community.

 

After months of NC today I desperately want to contact MM ... I want to do something to get his attention. I know it is wrong as contact will not not restart the cycle all over again.

 

I am trying so hard to stop myself. Help!

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Don't do it Sky! Months of no contact? Very good on you! Break it for some attention and all those hard earned months will be pushed aside for despair on why you broke it. The icky feelings will far outweigh any high you will get if he responds and if he doesn't that icky feeling will intensify even more. Don't do it Sky be firm in your no contact journey and proud of what you have achieved:)

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among the pines

@Sky23 - I'm glad you are posting here.......I know how difficult it must be. I have been in NC since mid November. Things are getting better in general, but I felt exactly the same way you do this morning when I woke up :( My problem is I keep having very vivid dreams about him and it has seriously set me back on multiple occasions. I have my strategies for dealing with thoughts during the day but I can't control my sub conscience. Ugh.

 

I would try to play it forward and think about the likely outcome if you do try to contact him and how much you know it will set you back. And try to identify the trigger. Are you lonely? If so, get out with trusted people who you can connect with. Was there a trigger? Can you identify it?

 

I am sure you have made progress over the months you've maintained NC. I've read so many posts from people who broke NC and almost all of them seem to have regretted it as their self esteem took a nosedive. I've done it too. I never hear of any positive results.

 

Hugs to you!

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His own not reaching out should tell you everything you need to know. You cant go back. You will likely be rejected. Or worse welcome for an ego stroke. Save your dignity. He has moved on. Dont show him you are stuck.

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Thank you for the support.

 

Thoughts of him are random. Sometimes obsession others times I seem to keep him out. It's a sickness.

 

I have held off. I won't do it.

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Months! I am so jealous, way to go! Glad you've held off and please do it keep up, it's inspiring me :). Make him be the one to break NC if it's gonna happen, then you can feel all superior and hopefully in the meantime, your commitment to NC will have deepened. If he never does, well then, I think you'll be glad you never reached out.

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His own not reaching out should tell you everything you need to know. You cant go back. You will likely be rejected. Or worse welcome for an ego stroke. Save your dignity. He has moved on. Dont show him you are stuck.

 

Oh my! Your first sentence says it all, doesn't it! That is what i needed to hear. Thank you!

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