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caught my BF obsessing over ex BUT there's a catch

Jamiehalo

By Jamiehalo,
in Cheating, Flirting, and Jealousy

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stillafool

stillafool

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But how is he "chasing" her if all he proposed to her was friends with benefits

 

Oh, he's definitely chasing her hard. He wants to start a FWB relationship in hopes of getting her back. She's a smart one to put him in his place and move forward. You do know her rejection of him is just making him want her more. He's definitely obsessed with her. You are certainly correct about that.

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Confusedchica

Confusedchica

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Actually this post irritates me!! You hooked up with a guy who you shouldn't have. You're no winner yourself and your bf probably doesn't respect you much. You're passed around by friends. Honey you obviously thought you were sooooo special that he would not cheat on you. He has no loyalty. Do you realize your bf offered a girl he was involved with for years to have an affair with him? Do you know that an affair could result in him dumping you for her, her getting pregnant or him never wanting to have sex with you. Do you understand that him having an affair with a girl you ALREADY know about is risking your relationship and that he doesn't care? What if she says yes eventually? You gonna be mad at her? Not him huh?

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Jamiehalo

Jamiehalo

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He dumped this girl for ME. HE tells me he loves me something she has said numerous times to him that he NEVER said to her!! Maybe he has a sex problem idk but you guys are making it seem like he has a real connection with a girl who obviously he only used for sex for 2 yrs. She shouldn't have been so easy and settled for that. He'll never respect her as anything more in my opinion. He told me she's crazy and stalks him and is bipolar and I know she does things to get his attention. I just want her her completely out of my boyfriends life. She shouldn't even be able to message him

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Confusedchica

Confusedchica

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He dumped this girl for ME. HE tells me he loves me something she has said numerous times to him that he NEVER said to her!! Maybe he has a sex problem idk but you guys are making it seem like he has a real connection with a girl who obviously he only used for sex for 2 yrs. She shouldn't have been so easy and settled for that. He'll never respect her as anything more in my opinion. He told me she's crazy and stalks him and is bipolar and I know she does things to get his attention. I just want her her completely out of my boyfriends life. She shouldn't even be able to message him

 

 

 

And you shouldn't have been reachable to him either since you dated his best friend

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stillafool

stillafool

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He dumped this girl for ME. HE tells me he loves me something she has said numerous times to him that he NEVER said to her!! Maybe he has a sex problem idk but you guys are making it seem like he has a real connection with a girl who obviously he only used for sex for 2 yrs. She shouldn't have been so easy and settled for that. He'll never respect her as anything more in my opinion. He told me she's crazy and stalks him and is bipolar and I know she does things to get his attention. I just want her her completely out of my boyfriends life. She shouldn't even be able to message him

 

Are you trying to convince yourself or us? If you really felt this way why is the title of your thread "caught my BF obsessing over ex BUT there's a catch"?

 

You have already acknowledged that your BF is the one obsessing and we completely agree with you. It isn't the girl obsessing over him it is him obsessing over her.

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Jamiehalo

Jamiehalo

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I'm sorry if I seem like I'm not listening it's just too hard for me to accept that this is an actual attempt to get back in her good graces.

But I've done some more snooping and found this

 

 

Her: can you delete the pictures you have of me?

 

Him: I will I asked a question

 

Her: you have a ****ing gf leave me alone

 

Him: k Kool I'll go back to ignoring you like before and being mean to you

 

Her: *sends this emoji*?

 

Him: remember that when you have a moment where you want to talk to me

 

Her: remember what tho? We have no good memories. Like I don't get it?

 

Him:there's nothing wrong with friends with benefits

 

Her: Done with this conversation

 

Him: you're immature

 

Her: All im telling you is I'm not interested. You have a gf anyway why you even care? Not to mention she was someone else's before you! who you backstabbed! You said friends with benefits. When were you my friend?? Like when? All you ever did was bad mouth me. I moved on get over it. I'm too good for you way too good for you. My standards are too high. I have alot going for myself and I'm not ruining it for you. I don't have feelings for you

 

That's literally verbatim their exchange

 

I just don't understand why he's going through all this just to have sex with her

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TaraMaiden2

TaraMaiden2

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I'm sorry if I seem like I'm not listening it's just too hard for me to accept that this is an actual attempt to get back in her good graces.

But I've done some more snooping and found this

 

 

Her: can you delete the pictures you have of me?

 

Him: I will I asked a question

 

Her: you have a ****ing gf leave me alone

 

Him: k Kool I'll go back to ignoring you like before and being mean to you

 

Her: *sends this emoji*?

 

Him: remember that when you have a moment where you want to talk to me

 

Her: remember what tho? We have no good memories. Like I don't get it?

 

Him:there's nothing wrong with friends with benefits

 

Her: Done with this conversation

 

Him: you're immature

 

Her: All im telling you is I'm not interested. You have a gf anyway why you even care? Not to mention she was someone else's before you! who you backstabbed! You said friends with benefits. When were you my friend?? Like when? All you ever did was bad mouth me. I moved on get over it. I'm too good for you way too good for you. My standards are too high. I have alot going for myself and I'm not ruining it for you. I don't have feelings for you

 

That's literally verbatim their exchange

 

I just don't understand why he's going through all this just to have sex with her

Because he wants to.

That's all you need to know.

She doesn't (good on her, everything she says is spot on) but him?

What a scumball.

He's doing it because he can.

Really, what she should do is kick him to the kerb, ignore him, and move on.

I suggest you do the same.

 

You wonder-boy is looking to plant his pecker anywhere but in you.

 

You ok with that part?

 

No.

Right.

So dump and get wise, gurl.

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HereNorThere

HereNorThere

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Wow, you could learn a lot from his ex. She definitely sounds like an awesome girl. She is exactly the person you should have been when this all started.

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dreamingoftigers

dreamingoftigers

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He dumped this girl for ME. HE tells me he loves me something she has said numerous times to him that he NEVER said to her!! Maybe he has a sex problem idk but you guys are making it seem like he has a real connection with a girl who obviously he only used for sex for 2 yrs. She shouldn't have been so easy and settled for that. He'll never respect her as anything more in my opinion. He told me she's crazy and stalks him and is bipolar and I know she does things to get his attention. I just want her her completely out of my boyfriends life. She shouldn't even be able to message him

 

The guy is total liar and cheater and doesn't have a "real connection" to anyone or anything but his dick, get it?

 

He betrayed his friend of ten years for some strange.

 

He left his gf of two years for some strange and now you he's going back to get "some variety" with his ex whom he OBVIOUSLY LIED about.

 

Look at her MESSAGE. She says pretty clearly that she doesn't want his stupid ass contacting her to get laid especially after all of the lies he's told about her being a "stalker" when clearly he's the one harassing her!

 

Get it!? Your bf probably doesn't take you seriously either considering how easy it was to get you away from his own best friend.

 

This "real connection" crap? What in the Hell?

Is this Junior High? Are you guys "soulmates" and "Schmoopies"?

 

He might like you, he might be able to even LIE again and said he " loves" you. But people who "love" you don't try screwing around REPEATEDLY with people you know that CONTACT you and let you know! Or even TRY screwing around with people you don't know.

 

There's no p in v contact (or p in mouth; or v in mouth; or mouth go mouth or anything near anyone's butt.....hopefully you get my point!) With am outside party when YOU ARE IN A RELATIONSHIP WITH SOMEONE YOU LOVE!

 

Sounds like only YOU are settling for being used by a guy who bangs everything he can get into. And that you were pretty easy to get into.

 

That sound like a "real connection" to you?

 

I can tell 16 people this morning that I "love" them and then go home and bang my husband. Doesn't mean they are special or that we have a "real connection." It would only mean I was a liar.

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dreamingoftigers

dreamingoftigers

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Wow, you could learn a lot from his ex. She definitely sounds like an awesome girl. She is exactly the person you should have been when this all started.

 

Yeah, I really want to send his ex a "You're Awesome!" card.

 

She deserves way better than being harassed by this douchebag.

 

I can't believe that he thought "ignoring her" was going to be some awful experience for her. What a whiner. I like the emoji she sent back.

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dreamingoftigers

dreamingoftigers

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Wait a second. What the CATCH that the tread title promises?

 

I don't see this as anything but him obsessing over the ex.

 

And she sure isn't reciprocating.

 

Frankly I would also recommend to the OP to get tested.

 

This guy has probably been around the block in lots of ways she hasn't found out about yet and if she wants kids in the future, she should take that pretty seriously.

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Samhain

Samhain

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He dumped this girl for ME. HE tells me he loves me something she has said numerous times to him that he NEVER said to her!! Maybe he has a sex problem idk but you guys are making it seem like he has a real connection with a girl who obviously he only used for sex for 2 yrs. She shouldn't have been so easy and settled for that. He'll never respect her as anything more in my opinion. He told me she's crazy and stalks him and is bipolar and I know she does things to get his attention. I just want her her completely out of my boyfriends life. She shouldn't even be able to message him

 

She made it clear in the very first message you posted from her to him that all the "rumours" he was spreading about her being a stalker were quite false. And I wouldn't believe that in 2 and a half years he didn't tell her he loved her either. You have one side of a story from a liar, who had no problem throwing his 10 year friendship under the bus just to get into your panties. Your panties were readily available and now he's bored and wants to go back to chasing unobtainable sex from somebody who is long over him, which is making him obsess more.

 

When a liar tells you they love you, but is constantly trying to bang somebody else, you can safely assume that the part about them loving you was, well, a lie, told to somebody who listens to and believes everything they want to hear (you).

 

All of her messages show somebody who has moved on and wants nothing to do with your so called boyfriend, and she's right, she is too good for him. And it's really sleazy and creepy that he is continuing to pester her for sex, which shows an immense amount of desperation on his part. So it doesn't matter what he tells you or who he left for who, you are not enough for him anymore, and he wants in with this other girl again.

 

The fact that you are blaming the person who continues to reject your boyfriends advances, and not the scumbaggery of his actions says a lot about your lack of self esteem and "walk all over me" nature. And with a mentality like that I'm not surprised he has no qualms about betraying you left right and centre, because he knows you're stupid enough to lap up his words and blame the innocent party while ignoring what a lying, cheating sleazeball he is.

 

But you knew that when you acted just like him and cheated on your previous boyfriend in order to be in a relationship with such a "great catch". :D

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Jamiehalo

Jamiehalo

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Correction my ex bf and I were broken up way before I got with my current bf. And the catch was that he only wants sex. Which Is why I'm saying it's weird to obsess over someone just for sex

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Lindsaycaper

Lindsaycaper

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Wowwww what a loser. He threatened to be mean to her as a punishment. Based on her response she seems awesome and strong. He's NOT going to stop. Maybe he'll take a few days to bounce back from humiliation because of her rejection but I promise you he'll be back at it soon. And very soon ....

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TaraMaiden2

TaraMaiden2

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Correction my ex bf and I were broken up way before I got with my current bf. And the catch was that he only wants sex. Which Is why I'm saying it's weird to obsess over someone just for sex

 

Not for a guy, it isn't.... Men are highly carnal creatures.

Why do you think that most people who visit a prostitute are men?

 

Hell-ooo?

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Confusedchica

Confusedchica

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Which Is why I'm saying it's weird to obsess over someone just for sex

 

He calls you his girlfriend and tells you he loves you so that he can have sex ?

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dreamingoftigers

dreamingoftigers

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Correction my ex bf and I were broken up way before I got with my current bf. And the catch was that he only wants sex. Which Is why I'm saying it's weird to obsess over someone just for sex

 

It's not "weird" at all to people that do it LMAO.

 

who's to say he isn't trying to pave the road even more because he is looking back over what he lost?

 

Luckily for her, he has the maturity of a gnat. "Screw me or I'll be mean to you" isn't really the best pickup line (outside of PUA forums).

 

But outside of that there are sex addicts, narcissists, and just garden-variety aholes.

 

If you check out chumplady you can see just how many men and women throw away relationships spanning just a few months to over 40 years just to get sex.

 

It's a thing. Seriously. And it's a fundamental lack of respect.

 

But you are aiming your feelings and energy at the wrong party. He's 110% to blame here and the pursuer. She's telling him to take a hike.

 

Who does she think she is? His ex-gf. And she wants to stay that way.

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Samhain

Samhain

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Correction my ex bf and I were broken up way before I got with my current bf. And the catch was that he only wants sex. Which Is why I'm saying it's weird to obsess over someone just for sex

 

 

"I'm dating a guy who used to be best friends with my ex bf of 5 years. They're no longer friends because my current bf and I started dating behind my ex bfs back. They were friends for like 10 years."

 

Well that is not what you said originally.

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Jamiehalo

Jamiehalo

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"I'm dating a guy who used to be best friends with my ex bf of 5 years. They're no longer friends because my current bf and I started dating behind my ex bfs back. They were friends for like 10 years."

 

Well that is not what you said originally.

Well did start dating behind his back but we were broken up already

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Confusedchica

Confusedchica

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Well did start dating behind his back but we were broken up already

 

Doesn't justify it. None of my ex boyfriends friends stand a chance with me ....they wouldn't be able to reach me ever. How easily he got you won't go unnoticed by him trust me

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TaraMaiden2

TaraMaiden2

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Correction my ex bf and I were broken up way before I got with my current bf. And the catch was that he only wants sex. Which Is why I'm saying it's weird to obsess over someone just for sex

 

Moving the goalposts and trying to go for the sympathy vote isn't going to work.

He's still a scumball, and frankly you need to learn a few lessons about the fine art and finesse of dating nicely.

Which does not entail going behind peoples' backs, or accusing a girl of stalking your BF when in fact the shoe is quite evidently and blatantly on the other foot.

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RySant

RySant

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And the catch was that he only wants sex. Which Is why I'm saying it's weird to obsess over someone just for sex

 

I am not sure what help you want from here as judging with your reasoning, I think the help you need can only be provided by a shrink.

 

Normally, if you have a well-functioning mind, the actions of your BF will result to him being your ex-bf already.

 

Oh well, the pain and the agony is yours anyway. By all means, chow.

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stillafool

stillafool

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Which Is why I'm saying it's weird to obsess over someone just for sex

 

It's actually very easy to obsess over someone when it comes to sex. Especially if the sex is really good. You will miss it.

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