caught my BF obsessing over ex BUT there's a catch

[Amelie1980]

I mean he was sleeping with her for 2 1/2 years and never called her his gf and she told me herself during her message when she told me he's "disgusting" and I can "have him" that he never said he loved her. So yeah being that he actually has done both with ME I think I have a right to feel a little more significant.

 

So he lied to her, used her for sex, future faked, strung her along, probably prevented her from moving on and finding happiness with a real boyfriend herself. he probably dangled just enough of a carrot to keep her on the hook, now she is sick of it and walked off he is trying to get his emotional punch bag and dial a screw back.

 

he is disgusting and i dont think much of you for blaming this woman for his foul behavior.

[Amelie1980]

You really don't GET it?

 

The two of you have been anything but honest and forthright. Sneaking around behind people's backs, he dumped this girl because he was cheating with you, etc. etc.

 

And now you expect this guy to act with decency? Character? Integrity?

 

Seriously?

 

He's already shown you exactly what he is. A snake. And you knew it going in and chose him anyway. You reap what you sow.

 

I had this happen to me lately. The guy dumped me for someone else after lying to me, etc. He has never been faithful as far as I can see. He never leaves a relationship unless he has something else lined up and if he gets dumped he just goes straight out and sleeps around with whatever he can get. He just moves straight on. I didnt know this about him for a long time. I had to piece it together over time and i finally caught his cheating ass red handed.

 

His new woman? Hmmm. he was sleeping with at least two other people when he met her and i think there was overlap. I really hope we see another episode of him having no integrity this time.

[Jamiehalo]

I had this happen to me lately. The guy dumped me for someone else after lying to me, etc. He has never been faithful as far as I can see. He never leaves a relationship unless he has something else lined up and if he gets dumped he just goes straight out and sleeps around with whatever he can get. He just moves straight on. I didnt know this about him for a long time. I had to piece it together over time and i finally caught his cheating ass red handed.

 

His new woman? Hmmm. he was sleeping with at least two other people when he met her and i think there was overlap. I really hope we see another episode of him having no integrity this time.

 

When I messaged her she said he'd been to her apartment a few times while we were already dating. She only responded to one message before blocking me. She didn't know about me apparently and assumed they were working towards all relationship. I told her I doubt they'd been together at all this year based on what he had told me. I know he broke it off with another girl for me. So we've already been honest with eachother about every girl.

[Amelie1980]

When I messaged her she said he'd been to her apartment a few times while we were already dating. She only responded to one message before blocking me. She didn't know about me apparently and assumed they were working towards all relationship. I told her I doubt they'd been together at all this year based on what he had told me. I know he broke it off with another girl for me. So we've already been honest with eachother about every girl.

 

He hasnt been honest about this last girl.

[ChickiePops]

When I messaged her she said he'd been to her apartment a few times while we were already dating. She only responded to one message before blocking me. She didn't know about me apparently and assumed they were working towards all relationship. I told her I doubt they'd been together at all this year based on what he had told me. I know he broke it off with another girl for me. So we've already been honest with eachother about every girl.

 

Did he have your permission to beg his ex for sex? If not, than no, he hasn't been honest with you about every other girl, and frankly, I'd put money on this not being the first time he's cheated (or attempted to cheat) on you.

 

I'm sorry, I know you must be in pain but this is not love. Believe his actions, not his words. This is not how someone who loves you behaves.

 

You keep trying to defend his behavior and you are determinedly refusing to acknowledge that he has done anything wrong. I can see that you care very much about him and that you're hurting, but you need to remove your blinders and see this boy for what he really is. A cheater and a liar.

 

Regardless of how this other girl felt about him, she turned him down. She behaved honorably and you should respect and appreciate that.

 

Your boyfriend is the bad person here, not the other girl, and not you either. He is playing you both.

[thecharade]

I can feel that you are very upset, but what you are doing is trying to find a way to make your emotions NOT your boyfriend's fault. So that you don't have to break up with him. Because it will hurt.

 

And so nobody can help you because this stuff will happen over and over and over again with him. Because he is your problem.

[Stereotypical11]

Trust me when I say he loves his ex you was a rebound harsh but true my ex did the same thing finally admitted it months later kept coming back even when she got pregnant two years later he was at my door again. You can't help who you love I'm sorry to say.

[Jamiehalo]

Trust me when I say he loves his ex you was a rebound harsh but true my ex did the same thing finally admitted it months later kept coming back even when she got pregnant two years later he was at my door again. You can't help who you love I'm sorry to say.

 

He doesn't love her. He never even claimed her as his girlfriend. And how am I a rebound when he left her for me

[dreamingoftigers]

He doesn't love her. He never even claimed her as his girlfriend. And how am I a rebound when he left her for me

 

So, we still aren't assigning him the responsibility of keeping it in his own pants, eh?

 

Somehow his ex is a "problem" because she tells him to piss off, aside from wanting sensitive photos destroyed and letting him clearly know that they aren't friends.

 

Yeah. She won't be the last.

 

Somehow these "bitches will just keep falling from the sky writing paragraphs to him about why they don't want to sleep with him." " How dare they."

[Jamiehalo]

So, we still aren't assigning him the responsibility of keeping it in his own pants, eh?

 

Somehow his ex is a "problem" because she tells him to piss off, aside from wanting sensitive photos destroyed and letting him clearly know that they aren't friends.

 

Yeah. She won't be the last.

 

Somehow these "bitches will just keep falling from the sky writing paragraphs to him about why they don't want to sleep with him." " How dare they."

 

 

 

She does things on purpose. Even a few days ago she messaged him saying that she noticed that when his twin brother (her sarcasm I guess because she says he always denies messaging her) messaged her that the pics were still there and that she's not going to ask him again to delete them and that there are worse things in life than a guy having naked pics or something along those lines. She basically was implying that he messages her still. I feel like she doesn't care about those pictures and just wants conversation. I highly doubt he loved her. It feels like they like playing games. Like he's obsessed with torturing her.

[ChickiePops]

She does things on purpose. Even a few days ago she messaged him saying that she noticed that when his twin brother (her sarcasm I guess because she says he always denies messaging her) messaged her that the pics were still there and that she's not going to ask him again to delete them and that there are worse things in life than a guy having naked pics or something along those lines. She basically was implying that he messages her still. I feel like she doesn't care about those pictures and just wants conversation. I highly doubt he loved her. It feels like they like playing games. Like he's obsessed with torturing her.

 

He does appear to be obsessed with her.

 

You're being played. He's not even hiding it. Whether he loves her or not it's clear that he doesn't love you. His actions make that obvious.

Edited January 31, 2016 by ChickiePops

[dreamingoftigers]

QUOTE=Jamiehalo;6758204]She does things on purpose. Even a few days ago she messaged him saying that she noticed that when his twin brother (her sarcasm I guess because she says he always denies messaging her) messaged her that the pics were still there and that she's not going to ask him again to delete them and that there are worse things in life than a guy having naked pics or something along those lines. She basically was implying that he messages her still. I feel like she doesn't care about those pictures and just wants conversation. I highly doubt he loved her. It feels like they like playing games. Like he's obsessed with torturing her.

 

You STILL have not gotten the point.

 

Whether or not she's outright throwing herself at him or trying to kick him in the balls......

 

You aren't holding him to any kind of standard and are mad at "her" for blah blah blah blah blah.

 

Whether he wants to screw her (check) or loves her (whatever) or wants to torture her (whatever the Hell level of denial that is)........he's engaging with her entirely inappropriately.

 

And you are looking at exactly the wrong person to lay any blame on, and in fact, get away from.

 

Which is, entirely pathetic.

 

What will the next one's excuse be?

 

Will she just "not mean anything either"?

 

You might as well tell him that he can try to sleep with everyone under the Sun so long as they " don't mean anything " whatever the Hell kind of standard that is.

[thecharade]

Jamiehalo, I feel so badly because I had a guy and relationship just like this many years ago. I twisted myself into a pretzel trying to stop the drama, constantly believing that if he loved me enough, he would stop the nonsense. I finally got help for myself and kicked him to the curb. He found a new girl and the drama has continued with her for decades! He never married her, just ruined her life with cheating and arguments and domestic violence calls to 911. OMG! I am the winner! That could have been me! (Thank you, Higher Power!!!)

 

You do not need this guy.

He wants the drama, needs the drama. He thinks it is awesome that you are sticking around for it because messed up guys love the feeling of having a harem! They make sure they have one at all times. They think drama = love and excitement.

 

Be your own best friend and work on yourself. There are great self help books and websites. You do not need this heartache. There are a million guys on Love Shack that would be loyal to a girl like you. Good luck.

[mattelipstick]

His ex sounds awesome. Good for her.

[Jamiehalo]

His ex sounds awesome. Good for her.

 

 

 

Funny how you all are saying she's so awesome yet she can't seem to stop messaging my BF and dragging out a past issue

[stillafool]

She does things on purpose. Even a few days ago she messaged him saying that she noticed that when his twin brother (her sarcasm I guess because she says he always denies messaging her) messaged her that the pics were still there and that she's not going to ask him again to delete them and that there are worse things in life than a guy having naked pics or something along those lines. She basically was implying that he messages her still. I feel like she doesn't care about those pictures and just wants conversation. I highly doubt he loved her. It feels like they like playing games. Like he's obsessed with torturing her.

 

Why hasn't he blocked her? Why is he still bothering her? Your so called man is obsessed with this chick.

[ChickiePops]

It's not a past issue. He's got naked pictures of her and she wants them deleted so he doesn't post them publicly or do something else crazy with them.

 

Jamie why don't you think any of this is his fault? Why do you refuse to see how awful this guy is?

[Jamiehalo]

It's not a past issue. He's got naked pictures of her and she wants them deleted so he doesn't post them publicly or do something else crazy with them.

 

Jamie why don't you think any of this is his fault? Why do you refuse to see how awful this guy is?

 

I don't think he would post them publicly. I didn't say he's innocent but I think she could avoid conversations with him period if she'd stop asking him about pictures she doesn't even care about. I feel that's her way of conversation with him

[Keke1]

I don't think he would post them publicly. I didn't say he's innocent but I think she could avoid conversations with him period if she'd stop asking him about pictures she doesn't even care about. I feel that's her way of conversation with him

 

He doesn't have to reply. What are you saying to him about contact with her?

[Qboro90]

When I messaged her she said he'd been to her apartment a few times while we were already dating. She only responded to one message before blocking me. She didn't know about me apparently and assumed they were working towards all relationship. I told her I doubt they'd been together at all this year based on what he had told me. I know he broke it off with another girl for me. So we've already been honest with eachother about every girl.

 

Its alarming how you started this thread asking for advice/suggestions on your situation and literally everyone who has replied is telling you that you BF is a scumbag who's manipulating you and you're the only one whose blind to seeing it.

 

There is nothing that your BF can say that you won't believe and trust as the truth. Want proof?

 

You texted his ex... You reached out to HER and asked about what she was doing/did with him and what info you could get..... So she responds and tells you that they had been together and he was going over to her apartment throughout the year during the time you and him got together. What do you do?

 

You tell her she's a liar! And there's no way that could be true because ..... Your BF told you so...... Are you kidding?

 

I'll break it down for you in another way.

You - " Hey... Can you just tell me the truth please... When was the last time you slept with (your BF name)?

 

Her - "He came over my apartment 2 months ago and we had sex. I can send you the texts he sent me that day to prove it"

 

You - " omg you're such a Liar! That's so not true because he told me that he hasn't had sex with you or talked to you since last year!"

 

This is why his ex blocked you. You're unable to come to terms with reality. You're probably going to have very deep rooted insecurities and a larger issue otherwise you wouldn't think that havin to sort through messages from your BF ex gf and reaching out to her to ask her things ... Is no big deal.

 

Your BF is a cheater. You know this because you are the girl he was cheating on his ex with. Sorry to be blunt , but you aren't more special to him than she was and enough to make him change his ways to be loyal and a good BF.

 

Deep down you have to know this is all true.. The sooner to leave this guy forever, the sooner you can start to grow up and hold higher standards for yourself and those you date