I still can't get over my crush's past

[losangelena]

So I'm suggesting that you send it, just to get the pent-up emotions off your chest, but, seriously, don't set up false hope for yourself and expect her to respond back to you in kind.

 

Burnt, I hear what you're saying, but I disagree a bit.

 

Having been on the fixated end of a codependent relationship, I can tell you that yes, he should probably find a way to get this off his chest, but the object of his fixation doesn't need to be on the receiving end of the blown off steam.

 

In my experience/opinion, that won't really do much to alleviate his fixation (it may make it worse), and plus he's saddled a woman who needn't get roped into this with possibly a lot of confusion and worry, especially if there is no real established relationship between the two of them.

 

Professional psychological help is advised.

[loveflower]

For example today I responded to a pediatric cardiac arrest. The 34 week old infant was pulseless and apnic. We worked on him and got him to the hospital where he was ultimately pronounced dead.

 

I was actually did not feel bad whatsoever. I was actually glad he did not have to live in this world and endure these same problems I have.

 

I suggest you to read this, it might help.

 

http://www.amazon.com/Living-Wisdom-Tao-Complete-Affirmations/dp/1401921493/ref=pd_sim_14_5/178-3105498-9194307?ie=UTF8&dpID=51gleydS%2BGL&dpSrc=sims&preST=_AC_UL160_SR120%2C160_&refRID=1XRHK8SD1130J3X41R8G

[Gloria25]

Alexa is just a girl you had known briefly and only had a crush on, but you two were not in a relationship; is that correct?

 

Chances are, as most posters have said, getting a letter like this will make her want to RUN.

 

But I side with Gloria in this thread. I think you should send it to Alexa.

 

I've read many of your posts. They all seem to be reiterating the same idea: an obsession. You are obsessed with your ideas of what you think love is. These ideas are eating you up. But they are your ideas, they are your norms, nonetheless.

 

What you have written in this letter is consistent with all the threads and posts you have written in LS recently. Understand, virtually no one here agrees with you on what you have been insisting on and everyone suggests that you should seek therapy.

 

With that said, you have composed this letter and put all your thoughts as coherently as you could and finally addressed it to the one person you have been talking about in all your posts.

 

There are two options for you now:

 

option 1. Toss it and don't send it (as many people here are suggesting).

But then all it will do is amplify the pent up bottled up intense obsessive ideas you already have inside your head. Nothing good will come out of that.

 

Which means you will continue to obsess over the same things and everyone will continue to disagree with you ad infinitum.

 

And that's why I advocate sending the letter....so you can stop obsessing and make a decision about her already.

[Rejected Rosebud]

And that's why I advocate sending the letter....so you can stop obsessing and make a decision about her already.

What decision is there for him to make about her? She may not even know who he is, it's not like the possibility of a relationship exists.

[lana-banana]

Didn't you previously suggest there was talk of restraining orders with this girl? If so, sending the letter could absolutely ruin your future.

 

I know this is the Internet and moderators shouldn't be legally liable for content posted here, but we have someone who is making repetitive posts about extreme psychological distress, being unable to function at work and going so far as to say he's in a state of emergency. What can we say? Please, please seek help. It sounds like you would benefit from a short-term inpatient program.

[lollipopspot]

I don't even know my motives anymore. Right now I am in a state of emergency psychologically.

 

Don't blow up your life. Get yourself to a mental health professional ASAP. It seems to me that you are having some type of emotional crisis and need help and quite possibly a diagnosis. This could be serious, and you don't want to go off the deep end - catch yourself before you do something that might really damage your future prospects.

[loverage21]

Right, but who is she?

 

Also, I'd apply the HALT method here. Don't send this if you're hungry, angry, lonely or tired. I'd say a "philosophical state of emergency" counts.

 

 

For Alexa's situation, she broke up with her high school ex due to a misunderstanding. They were also young when they broke up too. But nonetheless, it was a solid 2 year relationship so the connection was intense.

 

If Alexa and her ex could see the future and know they could of made it work and lived a happy life together and they knew it was a misunderstanding from the beginning, I guarentee there is a good chance they would still be together today.

 

But the unknown and uncertainty in life influences decisions.

[Scarlett.O'hara]

Tell me what you think

 

If you have to start a love letter with "You may or may not remember me.." then you are most likely wasting your time.

 

Honestly, your letter is confusing and difficult to read, like random thoughts just flung together on a page with little direction or meaning for her.

 

The fact that you start talking about her about her saving herself for marriage is completely out of line. It is none of your business! Then to continue to go on a long (random) rant about how you feel about marriage and love comes across as an attack on her beliefs which she will probably find quite offense, as will your statement that you want to f*** her really bad. It is very inappropriate.

 

I don't know what you hope to achieve out of it but I am certain it won't be a positive reaction.

[preraph]

This would be a big red flag to anyone who got it. It's clear in the first few sentences that you are asking for no respect and are just begging for any scrap, and that's a turnoff to anyone. This will scare the receiver off completely. It's very over the top and you have no reason to be this obsessed since it's totally one-sided.

[Qboro90]

For Alexa's situation, she broke up with her high school ex due to a misunderstanding. They were also young when they broke up too. But nonetheless, it was a solid 2 year relationship so the connection was intense.

 

If Alexa and her ex could see the future and know they could of made it work and lived a happy life together and they knew it was a misunderstanding from the beginning, I guarentee there is a good chance they would still be together today.

 

But the unknown and uncertainty in life influences decisions.

 

Does her ex know that you're his biggest supporter and the best wingman he could ever ask for? You're literally focusing your life and energy on making sure she realizes that she would be happier with her 14 yo boyfriend than she would with you.

 

Send him your address so he can mail you a Christmas card with a photo of them kissing and wearing matching sweaters 20 years from now.

[Imported]

What I got was;

 

She is a crush.

 

She probably doesn't even remember who you are.

 

You talked a lot about marriage and your views on marriage.

 

 

 

 

I had to stop skimming, it's that bad. No, don't send it unless you want to freak her out.

[seekingluck]

If I got that letter I'd probably look into a restraining order. The fact is if I don't remember you and you know how to reach me I'd quite creepy.

[loverage21]

I crush on this girl still (despite me telling people I am trying to avoid her). She is in my dorm complex and she was the girl I was telling everyone about that had a serious boyfriend when she was 14 and 15 years old for 2 solid years.

 

I want her but the same time I can't get over it. I want to avoid her but I also don't at the same time.

 

What do I do?