Justanaverageguy Posted January 20, 2016 Share Posted January 20, 2016 Nope...you've got that wrong...I'm not saying this is the perfect next relationship, but your analysis doesn't marry up... If she wanted me to break up, she would have by now...he's overseas, breaking up would be as simple as saying..."I'm breaking up with you" She has told me she insists on going off with him... Give it time I've seen plenty of girls do similar .... This type of age gap is often initiated this way. This type can't break attachment bonds formed with a partner or be on their own so instead they start a new relationship often with male who they wouldn't usually date who was willing to cheat with them. She builds a new attachment bond which makes it easier to end the old relationship. Sometimes this takes a while and they oscillate back and forth between the partners for a while until they end it. Then they usually realize they didn't really properly consider who they were getting into a relationship with and are now stuck with a 40+ guy they can't introduce to their friends or take to party's. All fun and games behind closed door...... And the process starts again Trust me you want to avoid this messy drama. Link to post Share on other sites
Author yxalitis Posted January 20, 2016 Author Share Posted January 20, 2016 Give it time I've seen plenty of girls do similar .... This type of age gap is often initiated this way. This type can't break attachment bonds formed with a partner or be on their own so instead they start a new relationship often with male who they wouldn't usually date who was willing to cheat with them. She builds a new attachment bond which makes it easier to end the old relationship. Sometimes this takes a while and they oscillate back and forth between the partners for a while until they end it. Then they usually realize they didn't really properly consider who they were getting into a relationship with and are now stuck with a 40+ guy they can't introduce to their friends or take to party's. All fun and games behind closed door...... And the process starts again Trust me you want to avoid this messy drama. Yeah, and if it lass 3 months...so what? I'm really not sure why people are jumping up and down...IF what you say is true, then I have a beautiful young sexy girlfriend for a while. And she can introduce me to friends, family, etc...why on Earth not? "Can't take to a party" what rubbish! Link to post Share on other sites
Justanaverageguy Posted January 20, 2016 Share Posted January 20, 2016 (edited) Yeah, and if it lass 3 months...so what? I'm really not sure why people are jumping up and down...IF what you say is true, then I have a beautiful young sexy girlfriend for a while. And she can introduce me to friends, family, etc...why on Earth not? "Can't take to a party" what rubbish! Hey if it works for you then no problem - but reality is you've got a young 24 year old girl who is cheating on her current boyfriend could be a complete mess at the end of those 3 months. So do you really like who she is .... or do you like what she is ? Not having a go - honest and legit question about what your getting yourself into. Saw something similar with a good friend last year who ran off with her university professor and it did not end well. Edited January 20, 2016 by Justanaverageguy Link to post Share on other sites
Tread Carefully Posted January 20, 2016 Share Posted January 20, 2016 My daughter just turned 19. I found out she is dating a 30yo man. It takes all the strength inside of me to not pay a visit to him and pound his as$ into the ground. Do you know how her family would react? Might want to find out. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author yxalitis Posted January 20, 2016 Author Share Posted January 20, 2016 Hey if it works for you then no problem - but reality is you've got a young 24 year old girl who is cheating on her current boyfriend could be a complete mess at the end of those 3 months. So do you really like who she is .... or do you like what she is ? Not having a go - honest and legit question about what your getting yourself into. Saw something similar with a good friend last year who ran off with her university professor and it did not end well. I mentioned already...I do like WHO she is... Link to post Share on other sites
xxoo Posted January 20, 2016 Share Posted January 20, 2016 Yeah, and if it lass 3 months...so what? I'm really not sure why people are jumping up and down...IF what you say is true, then I have a beautiful young sexy girlfriend for a while. And she can introduce me to friends, family, etc...why on Earth not? "Can't take to a party" what rubbish! Then why worry about "why you"? It's probably just a fling for her, esp since she plans to stay with her bf. Likely she isn't too picky about her flings, esp if she's had a lot of partners. Don't put more thought into it than she does. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
123321 Posted January 20, 2016 Share Posted January 20, 2016 Saw something similar with a good friend last year who ran off with her university professor and it did not end well. Sometimes what it is can be worth the chance of a bad ending. People the same age get into relationships that end badly all the time, no one blames that on them being of similar age. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Popsicle Posted January 21, 2016 Share Posted January 21, 2016 I think that many of us old single farts have been down the "But (s)he's a really mature 24 year old!" road. I say do it and let it play out and see what happens. For me, it failed. Link to post Share on other sites
Author yxalitis Posted January 21, 2016 Author Share Posted January 21, 2016 My daughter just turned 19. I found out she is dating a 30yo man. It takes all the strength inside of me to not pay a visit to him and pound his as$ into the ground. Do you know how her family would react? Might want to find out. 19 is not 24... But even so man, she's an adult, she'll discover son enough if its a good relationship, maybe you'll be at her wedding to this man in 5 years. My gf's family won't react as badly as you did, Asian culture is more supportive of older-man relationships. Link to post Share on other sites
123321 Posted January 21, 2016 Share Posted January 21, 2016 I think that many of us old single farts have been down the "But (s)he's a really mature 24 year old!" road. I say do it and let it play out and see what happens. For me, it failed. Have you been with people your own age? Did those fail? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author yxalitis Posted January 21, 2016 Author Share Posted January 21, 2016 Have you been with people your own age? Did those fail? Exactly, it's not like being closer in age is an automatic success story...! Link to post Share on other sites
h0000 Posted January 21, 2016 Share Posted January 21, 2016 I remember you from your previous thread where you had a trip in HK and fell in love with a much younger Philippine maid there? Now this time is a much younger Asian girl who wax? I see a trend ... Well I really don't think age is the only problem here. Frankly I don't think any of those girls were genuine. Feels like they just want some sex or possible some green card. I know you are going to say they are much more than that but I really doubt it 2 Link to post Share on other sites
123321 Posted January 21, 2016 Share Posted January 21, 2016 Frankly I don't think any of those girls were genuine. Feels like they just want some sex .... Oh the horror. Thank god you can warn him! That would be terrible. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Popsicle Posted January 21, 2016 Share Posted January 21, 2016 Have you been with people your own age? Did those fail? Yes, but the object of dating and having relationships for me is to continue to calibrate if and once they fail, and in that instance I learned that the age difference was the contributing factor to the failure. In other instances with men closer to my age, it was for other reasons, to which I also calibrated. And again, I'd like to point out, that I did say that it's an experience that the OP needs to have on his own and see what happens. It's not something you should take others advice for. Not even sure why he asked... Link to post Share on other sites
HereNorThere Posted January 21, 2016 Share Posted January 21, 2016 I'd be careful, OP. I had a friend date one of these committed foreign girls and long story short, he woke up missing a kidney in bathtub full of ice with a note that said "call 911!" YMMV 3 Link to post Share on other sites
truth_seeker Posted January 21, 2016 Share Posted January 21, 2016 My daughter just turned 19. I found out she is dating a 30yo man. It takes all the strength inside of me to not pay a visit to him and pound his as$ into the ground. Do you know how her family would react? Might want to find out. Wait a sec, OP's girlfriend is 24. Big difference. I do agree that a 30 year old guy shouldn't be dating a teenager. I think a guy 24 shouldn't be dating a teenager. Look in the mirror, Dad. Maybe someone should kick your ass for allowing your daughter to be with a guy that age. Link to post Share on other sites
HereNorThere Posted January 21, 2016 Share Posted January 21, 2016 Wait a sec, OP's girlfriend is 24. Big difference. I do agree that a 30 year old guy shouldn't be dating a teenager. I think a guy 24 shouldn't be dating a teenager. Look in the mirror, Dad. Maybe someone should kick your ass for allowing your daughter to be with a guy that age. Really? A college senior dating a college sophomore deserves an ass kicking now? I think a 5 difference is a lot less creepy than a 25 year one. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
123321 Posted January 21, 2016 Share Posted January 21, 2016 Yes, but the object of dating and having relationships for me is to continue to calibrate if and once they fail ... Now, define fail. Link to post Share on other sites
Tread Carefully Posted January 21, 2016 Share Posted January 21, 2016 Wait a sec, OP's girlfriend is 24. Big difference. I do agree that a 30 year old guy shouldn't be dating a teenager. I think a guy 24 shouldn't be dating a teenager. Look in the mirror, Dad. Maybe someone should kick your ass for allowing your daughter to be with a guy that age. Yes, there is a difference between 19 and 24. I still have the right to be upset about the choices my daughter is making. She is also an adult therefore I can't stop her from dating whom she wants. All I can do is sit back and help her when and if it blows up. And btw, I'm the Mom. Link to post Share on other sites
Httm Posted January 21, 2016 Share Posted January 21, 2016 I think it is more gross that you knowingly have been fooling around with someone who you knew was in a relationship than the age gap. It tells a lot about the kind of person you are. 6 Link to post Share on other sites
Popsicle Posted January 21, 2016 Share Posted January 21, 2016 Now, define fail. It didn't work for me? Link to post Share on other sites
truth_seeker Posted January 21, 2016 Share Posted January 21, 2016 Yes, there is a difference between 19 and 24. I still have the right to be upset about the choices my daughter is making. She is also an adult therefore I can't stop her from dating whom she wants. All I can do is sit back and help her when and if it blows up. And btw, I'm the Mom. Sorry, Mom. I though you were Dad by the language you used. I agree with you that it's wrong for your 19 year old to be dating a 30 year old. I'm just baffled you're not doing more to stop her from seeing him. Link to post Share on other sites
truth_seeker Posted January 21, 2016 Share Posted January 21, 2016 Really? A college senior dating a college sophomore deserves an ass kicking now? I think a 5 difference is a lot less creepy than a 25 year one. Where did I say a college senior dating a college sophomore is wrong? Link to post Share on other sites
Robratory Posted January 21, 2016 Share Posted January 21, 2016 My daughter just turned 19. I found out she is dating a 30yo man. It takes all the strength inside of me to not pay a visit to him and pound his as$ into the ground. Sorry, but that's a patriarchal attitude. What did the guy do wrong? All he did was ask. It was your daughter who said yes. Maybe you should pound her as$ into the ground? But wait, who failed to teach her to say no to men older than her by a certain number of years? Find that guy and kick his as$ into the ground! He's the one who failed. Link to post Share on other sites
Tread Carefully Posted January 21, 2016 Share Posted January 21, 2016 Sorry, Mom. I though you were Dad by the language you used. I agree with you that it's wrong for your 19 year old to be dating a 30 year old. I'm just baffled you're not doing more to stop her from seeing him. I'm glad you agree, thank you. She lives on her own. I've had lots of talks with her. This is her first real boyfriend. I really don't know what else to do. To her I'm just an over protective Mom and she's 19 and knows everything. Link to post Share on other sites
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