Dating a (much) younger girl

[truth_seeker]

Speaking for myself, that's bunk. I am about as flexible and open as they come, and I am 37.

 

If anything, I have learned to be MORE open-minded and flexible as I have gotten older.

 

MORE accepting of our differences. And I am not alone in that either.

 

I am also in great shape and my body looks about the same as it did in my early 20's!

 

We are not the women of previous generations. Old and washed up at 40 ....doomed to be alone forever.

 

Don't mean to sound so defensive about it, but it irks me to no end when I hear shyt like this.

 

Every woman is different from the other -- no matter what her age.

 

Younger women can be every bit as rigid and inflexible as you claim older women are.

 

It's about personality, not age.

 

You're right, everyone is different. I was working out the other day and saw a fit older woman (she had to be in 40s) and I saw some college girls who were very much overweight.

 

I know my preference is younger women but there is always the possibility I could meet a woman late 30s or early 40s who will completely blow my mind and win me over with her personality.

 

One other person wrote a comment somewhere on this forum that I thought was very true: there's no guide to this (being/falling in love). Sometimes you meet a person and it just happens, no matter their age.

[SmartDude]

Speaking for myself, that's bunk. I am about as flexible and open as they come, and I am 37.

 

If anything, I have learned to be MORE open-minded and flexible as I have gotten older.

 

MORE accepting of our differences. And I am not alone in that either.

 

I am also in great shape and my body looks about the same as it did in my early 20's! As well as many of my *older* friends.

 

We are not the women of previous generations. Old and washed up at 40 ....doomed to be alone forever.

 

Don't mean to sound so defensive about it, but it irks me to no end when I hear shyt like this.

 

Every woman is different from the other -- no matter what her age.

 

Younger women can be every bit as rigid and inflexible as you claim older women are.

 

And older women can be as enthusiastic, and free-spirited, etc as you claim younger women are. Always learning, always growing

 

It's about personality, not age.

 

No, you are right.

Its just that women like yourself are hard to find at your age.

Many have a heavy emphasis on domestic life and repepitition of old patterns.

[katiegrl]

Speaking for myself, that's bunk. I am about as flexible and open as they come, and I am 37.

 

If anything, I have learned to be MORE open-minded and flexible as I have gotten older.

 

MORE accepting of our differences. And I am not alone in that either.

 

I am also in great shape and my body looks about the same as it did in my early 20's! As well as many of my *older* friends.

 

We are not the women of previous generations. Old and washed up at 40 ....doomed to be alone forever.

 

Don't mean to sound so defensive about it, but it irks me to no end when I hear shyt like this.

 

Every woman is different from the other -- no matter what her age.

 

Younger women can be every bit as rigid and inflexible as you claim older women are.

 

And older women can be as enthusiastic, and free-spirited, etc as you claim younger women are. Always learning, always growing

 

It's about personality, not age.

 

And to add because too late to edit.

 

One difference I do see between older and younger, is that older women are less likely to tolerate bull crap from those certain men who insist on doling it out. More inclined to stand up for herself, speak up about things that are troubling her in the RL. Or just walking away.

 

Is *this* what you're referring to? That we're able to call men on their crap, as opposed to rolling over and allowing their BS behavior to continue?

 

And some men feel threatened by that?

 

Not talking about all men, there *are* great guys out there.

 

But in reading this board, and about so many young women being jerked around by their boyfriends, and doing nothing about it, I felt compelled to comment about it.

Edited January 22, 2016 by katiegrl

[123321]

It's extremely unusual for a food looking and sane woman to make it to 40 without some guy homesteading her. That's just how it is. What's left is what some people might call the dregs.

 

Sure, it happens. I'm sure every 40ish woman on LS is a shining example of those exceptional occurrences. I can also find a lot of Unicorns on Google. But in real life, not so much.

[truth_seeker]

Oh, definitely. There are men threatened by a woman who will stand up for herself, makes her own money, has her own things... why? It's because she can walk anytime. The man has no leverage. He can't control her.

[katiegrl]

No, you are right.

Its just that women like yourself are hard to find at your age.

Many have a heavy emphasis on domestic life and repepitition of old patterns.

 

Okay fair enough. The way you wrote it though, sounded like you were making a broad generalization referring to *all* 35+ women.

 

Apologies for sounding so defensive.

[Rejected Rosebud]

 

Most women will either never fully understand or never admit to themselves why men are attracted to younger women. Women ussualy do not seek out younger men for a reason. It is because an inexperienced partner has no value for a woman. So there is no real way to relate to a man's experience and desires.

 

Guys enjoy the young youthfull bodies, yes. But to say that is all there is to it is an absolute lie. Older women come with some problems, they are very particular about what they want.

 

Lets say we have a women who is late 30's early 40's. She might drink a certain type of wine and think that wine tasting is some cultural epitah of maturity. She might break up with you because she does not like the furniture in your house. She has an agenda for YOUR LIFE as well as her own. Its all about having PLANS and GOALS, which translate to a man being an ox plowing a field so that she can have a beautifull life. Then with a half ass lazy smile, as she is sipping her wine she says: "Don't we have a wonderfull life together?" *barf*

 

A younger woman has no superficial goals weighing her down. She is full of enthusiasm, optimism and love for the world around her. She has amazing insights not because of her experience but because she has a lack of life experience.

Gee. I so love it when I come to LoveShack to find out all about what I think and what it's like to be a woman. Thanks!

 

FYI I am young and I have plans and goals and both my fiancee and I like to go on wine tastings!! We both think we have a wonderful life together too! :love:

[Rejected Rosebud]

All I can add is that when you engage in miles of text, you're playing on the other teams home field.

Well at least they seem to be on the same playing field as each other, since they both evidently love the miles of insipid texting!

[123321]

Oh, definitely. There are men threatened by a woman who will stand up for herself, makes her own money, has her own things... why? It's because she can walk anytime. The man has no leverage. He can't control her.

 

I used to worry about 'she can walk anytime' when I was a young man. I don't care any more, enjoy the day and all that. Much better IMO.

[123321]

It's extremely unusual for a food looking and sane woman to make it to 40 without some guy homesteading her. That's just how it is. What's left is what some people might call the dregs.

 

Sure, it happens. I'm sure every 40ish woman on LS is a shining example of those exceptional occurrences. I can also find a lot of Unicorns on Google. But in real life, not so much.

 

And I'm victimized by my tablet.

 

Should be 'good looking', obviously.

[PrettyEmily77]

Its not like that at all under the surface.

 

Most women will either never fully understand or never admit to themselves why men are attracted to younger women. Women ussualy do not seek out younger men for a reason. It is because an inexperienced partner has no value for a woman. So there is no real way to relate to a man's experience and desires.

 

Guys enjoy the young youthfull bodies, yes. But to say that is all there is to it is an absolute lie. Older women come with some problems, they are very particular about what they want.

 

Lets say we have a women who is late 30's early 40's. She might drink a certain type of wine and think that wine tasting is some cultural epitah of maturity. She might break up with you because she does not like the furniture in your house. She has an agenda for YOUR LIFE as well as her own. Its all about having PLANS and GOALS, which translate to a man being an ox plowing a field so that she can have a beautifull life. Then with a half ass lazy smile, as she is sipping her wine she says: "Don't we have a wonderfull life together?" *barf*

 

A younger woman has no superficial goals weighing her down. She is full of enthusiasm, optimism and love for the world around her. She has amazing insights not because of her experience but because she has a lack of life experience.

 

Whatever floats your boat, dude. You can find whatever justification you like to make you feel better, although the no superficial goals bit is pushing it a little...I don't care for generalisations either way + I know enough 30s to 40s guys (especially those who have daughters) who just wouldn't go there full stop, probs because they have no confidence or ego issues (my assessment of the guys I know). I also personally know a guy who went through a full-blown mid-life crisis and left his wife and kids to shack up with a girl nearly half his age; she took advantage of his ego boost, money and connections to set herself up and dumped him the second she had a chance for a guy her own age.

 

I remember being in my mid-20s and, like plenty of other women, being approached by middle-aged dudes (that's how I saw them at the time) with both horror and disgust.

 

I say that because for all the exceptions that do make it work and all the fantasies and wishful thinking, a younger woman would take advantage of an older guy's lustful attentions rather than the other way round.

 

Like I said though, do whatever works for you...

[xxoo]

Its not like that at all under the surface.

 

Most women will either never fully understand or never admit to themselves why men are attracted to younger women. Women ussualy do not seek out younger men for a reason. It is because an inexperienced partner has no value for a woman. So there is no real way to relate to a man's experience and desires.

 

Guys enjoy the young youthfull bodies, yes. But to say that is all there is to it is an absolute lie. Older women come with some problems, they are very particular about what they want.

 

Lets say we have a women who is late 30's early 40's. She might drink a certain type of wine and think that wine tasting is some cultural epitah of maturity. She might break up with you because she does not like the furniture in your house. She has an agenda for YOUR LIFE as well as her own. Its all about having PLANS and GOALS, which translate to a man being an ox plowing a field so that she can have a beautifull life. Then with a half ass lazy smile, as she is sipping her wine she says: "Don't we have a wonderfull life together?" *barf*

 

A younger woman has no superficial goals weighing her down. She is full of enthusiasm, optimism and love for the world around her. She has amazing insights not because of her experience but because she has a lack of life experience.

 

This really has nothing to do with age and has everything to do with life stage.

 

I married at 20. You'd better believe that I was all about PLANS and GOALS when we were getting serious about dating each other. He was, too (at age 22).

 

I'm now in my 40s. If, heaven forbid, I ended up single and dating, I wouldn't be looking for marriage, cohabitation, or building a life together. I have a life. I have kids. I have a home I plan to live in until I die. He can have whatever furniture he wants, because I wouldn't be living there

[123321]

I know enough 30s to 40s guys (especially those who have daughters) who just wouldn't go there full stop, probs because they have no confidence or ego issues .

 

Or one could flip it around and wonder if maybe they lack the confidence to go there. Huh, how about that.

[katiegrl]

This really has nothing to do with age and has everything to do with life stage.

 

I married at 20. You'd better believe that I was all about PLANS and GOALS when we were getting serious about dating each other. He was, too (at age 22).

 

I'm now in my 40s. If, heaven forbid, I ended up single and dating, I wouldn't be looking for marriage, cohabitation, or building a life together. I have a life. I have kids. I have a home I plan to live in until I die. He can have whatever furniture he wants, because I wouldn't be living there

 

Agree with this, except to say when I moved in with my boyfriend, I was 33. His furniture was no problem.... but I DID add some of my own personal touches to make the place feel at home to me.

 

We have recently broken up, but next RL, I would be open to moving in with him again.... unless his furniture is old and worn, I would be fine with it, again adding my own personal touches. Throw pillows, knick knacks, my paintings, etc.

 

I only date men who take pride in their appearance and the environment in which they live anyway, so I can't imagine his furniture being so grotesque that I would object to it.

 

A woman's personal touch can add so much!!

[PrettyEmily77]

Or one could flip it around and wonder if maybe they lack the confidence to go there. Huh, how about that.

 

Would that make you happy? Then you know, whatever... I'm not single so it's not a big worry of mine.

[Woggle]

I think two consenting adults have the right to whatever they want so if an older man and a younger woman want to get together then more power to them. That being said men on here and in some cases women don't need to bash people their age and degrade them. As for me I prefer being with a woman who remembers a time when current music was good plus my wife would prefer a cocktail or a beer over a glass of wine and she isn't in her 20s.

[123321]

Would that make you happy? Then you know, whatever... I'm not single so it's not a big worry of mine.

 

Expecting external things to make one happy is IMO a fool's errand. Just enjoy life and the things it brings, and try to make every day better.

[PrettyEmily77]

Expecting external things to make one happy is IMO a fool's errand. Just enjoy life and the things it brings, and try to make every day better.

 

Surpringly, I wholeheartedly agree with this!

[HereNorThere]

Its not like that at all under the surface.

 

Most women will either never fully understand or never admit to themselves why men are attracted to younger women. Women ussualy do not seek out younger men for a reason. It is because an inexperienced partner has no value for a woman. So there is no real way to relate to a man's experience and desires.

 

Guys enjoy the young youthfull bodies, yes. But to say that is all there is to it is an absolute lie. Older women come with some problems, they are very particular about what they want.

 

Lets say we have a women who is late 30's early 40's. She might drink a certain type of wine and think that wine tasting is some cultural epitah of maturity. She might break up with you because she does not like the furniture in your house. She has an agenda for YOUR LIFE as well as her own. Its all about having PLANS and GOALS, which translate to a man being an ox plowing a field so that she can have a beautifull life. Then with a half ass lazy smile, as she is sipping her wine she says: "Don't we have a wonderfull life together?" *barf*

 

A younger woman has no superficial goals weighing her down. She is full of enthusiasm, optimism and love for the world around her. She has amazing insights not because of her experience but because she has a lack of life experience.

 

Sadly, this is pretty much spot on. Of course, you don't want to get into over generalizations, but it's fair to say that majority of the time this is this way it. I would expect that a majority of women will disagree, but they have also never experienced being a male and dating a woman over 30. Sometimes the truth taste bitter and it's much easier to rationalize or justify your confirmation bias than admit to something unnerving. Sorry, but in most cases it's just a completely different world than dating women in their 20s. That doesn't mean it's a bad thing, just different.

 

There's just a spark and sense of wonderment that the older women do not have. Sure, it may be replaced with stability and security, but it also just depends on what you want. In most cases, I would never think I could "get serious" with a 24 year old. There are exceptions to everything, but 24 year olds in general are still figuring themselves out. There's just so many options and they haven't sampled them enough to know what they really want yet.

 

Nearly all of the women I've dated in 30s were much more rigid and cynical about life. Most had official "bedtimes," schedules, over-planned, obsessed about the future, less flexible about issues and were generally more aggressive and abrasive. Whether women want to agree or not, no one can deny that their testosterone levels rise as they get older which effectively makes them less feminine and therefore less appealing to some men. Some men enjoy the extra high libido that some women experience, but it can be a major turn off for some. I'm sure that will be viewed as "insecurity" by the rationalizers, but it's really just adverse reaction to watching your partners suddenly change their social-gender role. The single, forever alone guys and undersexed married men fantasize about by finding the aggressive, hypersexual older woman, but I hear more complaints than cheers from single guys. Once a hot, spontaneous sexual relationship because a chore pretty fast when your partner becomes insatiable. I'm sure the majority of women can relate to that given the males sex drive.

 

Don't shoot the messenger. I do believe that each age group has their own advantages and disadvantages. A lot of men want a sexually secure, rigid, mature partner and are tired of dating the excited but needs constant entertainment younger women. It's just all about what you want. Still, in most cases the differences are very, very profound.

[RedRobin]

^^meh, sounds like projection to me. At every stage of my life, I have never had a problem finding exuberant, optimistic people to spend time with. That is not an age thing at all...

 

Difference is, I don't feel the need to have sex with them to prove something, or keep them in my life. That's not love to me. In fact, I have a hard time calling the large age gap relationships 'love' at all. More like some kind of acting out and running away... From something.

[dobielover]

First off, I thought 14 year gap was pushing my luck, but you Sir have re-invigorated me! I salute you for this great conquest!

 

As for 73 yr old guy with a 49 yr old woman... please... look at Stallone... Geraldo Rivera... if a 24 yr old woman is all over him at 49, he'll still be rocking it at 73.

 

OP you are a hero to men everywhere!

 

#MakeHongKongGreatAgain

 

They are famous and rich.

 

Is the OP?

[truth_seeker]

They are famous and rich.

 

Is the OP?

 

Ah, I see... if you're famous and rich, age gaps do not matter. If you're a regular joe, they do matter.

[StBreton]

I didn't say he was a donkeyhole (If that's what the censored word is), I said he's a douchebag...

 

He talks AT her not TO her, he spent 15 minutes going on and on about how much money his new job was paying him, I mean, seriously on and on...

She sat there disinterestedly...saying "yeah, yeah, whatever" looking away from the phone for most of the call.

Then when he started to talk about her, the WHOLE conversation was about her physical self...

"Oh you look so pretty in your nighty..."

"Have you out your cream on your legs yet, I makes your skin glow"

"You bottom is amazing, seriously, you have a fantastic bum"

 

And so on...

 

He si also VERY controlling, she HAS to video chat EVERY night, no matter how tired she is, or how late it is.

He will call her, and if she doesn't answer, KEEP CALLING, 20-30 times in a row.

"when she was trying to get him off the phone so she could sleep, (Actually so we could have sex) he made her turn off the light...so she walked over to the light, flicked it off said "OK, I did it, happy?", then hung up, and immediately turned the light on again.

He once asked her to show him her entire room, panning the camera around 360 degrees.(I stepped out for a few seconds for that)

 

She explains the reason she is going to try with her Indian bf is that she finds it

very hard to fall in love, and wants to just see what happens with this guy.

 

I tried to explain that he is controlling her, and if she moves in with him,, in his house, in a new country, she will be totally his, and lose all freedom...

 

She says: "OK, whatever, I like this control!"

 

But all I could see was, she doesn't like being controlled...

 

I told her she'd last a year, maximum, and she said, "that's fine, a year is long enough"

"I'm young still, can waste time if I want"

 

SHE doesn't think it will last..but she still wants to try...for the experience.

 

"I want to see with my eyes, touch with my hands"

 

So, yeah, there's THAT too...

 

From all this she's told you, you still think she's "mature"?!!

 

You're completely blinded

 

The seeing, feeling, experiencing is all about finding oneself in ones teens and 20s ...and you're acting like the logical parent ... Us parents all know we can't tell our teen children to act logically when they want to see touch experience for themselves.

 

Midlife crisis

[StBreton]

Ah, I see... if you're famous and rich, age gaps do not matter. If you're a regular joe, they do matter.

 

I think dobie is alluding to the fact that a much younger woman is looking for a payoff ...she gives her youth in exchange for someone who has status and wealth. One wouldn't normally see a young vibrant woman with a much older man who has nothing to offer her

[Rejected Rosebud]

Sadly, this is pretty much spot on. Of course, you don't want to get into over generalizations, but it's fair to say that majority of the time this is this way it. I would expect that a majority of women will disagree, but they have also never experienced being a male and dating a woman over 30.

That post wasn't about what it's like being a man dating women over 30 - actual real experiences - , it's about what women supposedly think and care about and it's a bunch of hooey and a cop out for guys who don't want to actually get to know an individual. I don't care what age of women you want to date but when you attribute your own preference to the ridiculous nonsense you thinkolder women are all about, then I call BS on that!

 

Speaking as a younger person I fine old guys lusting after me to be creepy but I know not everybody my age does. I'm looking forward to getting older with my guy and he feels the same way. He's not looking forward to someday dating a girl who's just getting born now!!