Whats your view on this?

[Chi townD]

There IS something wrong with it. Ugh, this kind of thinking is the reason why people are being cheated on. Signs are there but people STILL brushed them off.

 

 

"Cheating doesn’t mean you have to kiss, meet or have sex with someone else… Once you find yourself deleting messages so your partner will not see them, then you already are there. ~Unknown"

 

 

Ugh...this kind of subjective thinking and wild speculation without concrete evidence of wrong doing is what causes people to become paranoid and ruin relationships.

[RySant]

 

Okay, I'm sure you got my sarcasm from my post. But here's the rub, you have no proof, no hard evidence that he has cheated; has thought about cheating or what his future intentions are! You might be throwing away a great relationship over wild speculation. You have no hard evidence. And if you feel you can't trust him, then by all means drop him before you get anymore invested in this guy. But, you might be making a mistake because you have no HARD PROOF that he did any wrong doing.

 

You have good point. Really good point. But I will not adhere to this personally. But I get what you mean.

 

So, for OP, if you plan to choose this path, activate all your senses and be very aware. Don't be paranoid, but never neglect the things he says or does. You have no "hard proof" (yes) but well, just be really, really careful and don't let your guard down.

 

Personally, I will easily give up on a relationship if I feel the need to guard my partner on what he might be doing. I just don't have the time and energy for that. But that's just me.

 

Good luck with you on this one!

[Keke1]

You know what? You people have convinced me to have a change of heart. You need to dump his ass.

 

 

Because he's a cheat...even though he....didn't actually cheat. But, he could POSSIBLY cheat! I'm surprised that you haven't contacted the police because he could POSSILY have sex with a 17 year old!

 

 

You should dump him because he hides things from you!.....even though he came forward and told you what happened and what was said when he didn't have to. God forbid you want a guy to be honest with you. Oh, and deleting stuff off of facebook or any other social media is totally unheard of! Hell, I haven't deleted emails since the 90's! How dare he!......yet when she responded and said thank you for a Happy Birthday comment that probably 100 people probably gave her, little did the rest of the internet know that HIS Happy Birthday actually meant, "I want to have sex with you." You've cracked their code! Congrats! But, he probably let you see his Facebook and all of his social media and you didn't find anything incriminating...

 

 

So, why is he facebook friends with her. Well, you figured that out too. I'm in my forties and I'm facebook friends with a girl that I was on a dive with in Florida. She's 24 and just got engaged. I say "Hi" to her every once in a while. But you figured me out. Everytime I say "Hi" it MUST be because I want to have sex with her. I'm a bad man too.

 

 

So, kick him to the curb! He's HORRIBLE!!!! But, also give him a piece of advice. Tell him not to be open and honest with his next girlfriend, it's not doing him any favors.

 

 

Okay, I'm sure you got my sarcasm from my post. But here's the rub, you have no proof, no hard evidence that he has cheated; has thought about cheating or what his future intentions are! You might be throwing away a great relationship over wild speculation. You have no hard evidence. And if you feel you can't trust him, then by all means drop him before you get anymore invested in this guy. But, you might be making a mistake because you have no HARD PROOF that he did any wrong doing.

 

She doesn't have proof because maybe he's erasing his trail. She's already noted this. If the person you're with is hiding a relationship from you everything is cool because you haven't "caught" them in the act? If it was a innocent Happy Birthday then why would you erase that? Come on man

[juicygirl]

Question: Why is your 35 year old boyfriend friends with a 17 year old girl?

 

He told you about the kiss but didn't tell you about the friendship he is entertaining with the 17 year old girl who tried to kiss him? NEXT.

 

He deleted those messages because he had something to hide, maybe they were sending each other inappropriate content. You wasn't meant to find out hence all the deleting.

 

Please don't be naive and think nothing is going on.Even if your boyfriend only like the attention she gives him it's very disrespectful to you has his partner.

you have enough evidence to leave if you so wish, the disrespect alone would be enough for most.

[Chi townD]

I think you would be making a mistake. If you want, do some investigating. Look into things on your own. Try to find some evidence. Because, in my opinion, what you have is weak. What you have can logically and easily be explained away..

 

 

When he's in the shower or away from his phone, take a look and see if you find anything incriminating. If you don't then look at his text logs. If he has texts in there that are only a week old from ANYONE, then you know he has a habit of deleting ALL his texts. Not just a certain someone's.

 

 

You have an idea of the girls name, look her up on facebook. If she just had a birthday, then you could probably see a bunch of people wishing her a happy birthday. So, it very well COULD mean that the only thing he did was wish her a happy birthday.

 

 

With his phone again. Look on the rest of his social media, instagram, twitter, snapchat.... see if you find anything incriminating in there.

 

 

If you do this and you find nothing, then I really don't think he's doing anything wrong. And being friends with her on Facebook. Well, look at your own facebook! Do you have people that you're friends with that are much older or much younger than you are? If you do, does that mean you want to have sex with them?

 

 

When my Spidey senses are going off on here, I'm usually right. Just, my spidey senses aren't going off on this on this one.

[PegNosePete]

my spidey senses aren't going off on this on this one.

But everyone else's are.

[Chi townD]

But everyone else's are.

 

 

Which is weird because it's not a lot to go off of.

[juicygirl]

I think you would be making a mistake. If you want, do some investigating. Look into things on your own. Try to find some evidence. Because, in my opinion, what you have is weak. What you have can logically and easily be explained away..

 

 

When he's in the shower or away from his phone, take a look and see if you find anything incriminating. If you don't then look at his text logs. If he has texts in there that are only a week old from ANYONE, then you know he has a habit of deleting ALL his texts. Not just a certain someone's.

 

 

You have an idea of the girls name, look her up on facebook. If she just had a birthday, then you could probably see a bunch of people wishing her a happy birthday. So, it very well COULD mean that the only thing he did was wish her a happy birthday.

 

 

With his phone again. Look on the rest of his social media, instagram, twitter, snapchat.... see if you find anything incriminating in there.

 

 

If you do this and you find nothing, then I really don't think he's doing anything wrong. And being friends with her on Facebook. Well, look at your own facebook! Do you have people that you're friends with that are much older or much younger than you are? If you do, does that mean you want to have sex with them?

 

 

When my Spidey senses are going off on here, I'm usually right. Just, my spidey senses aren't going off on this on this one.

 

If you have to do all this playing detective the relationship is already done because the trust is shot to...

So far this girl doesn't sound like someone he has to be friends with,e.g. work colleague or relative of a friend,cutting her off when his gf asked should have been clean and easy to do. He is keeping her around on the side because when the timing is right he is going in.

[Chi townD]

If you have to do all this playing detective the relationship is already done because the trust is shot to...

So far this girl doesn't sound like someone he has to be friends with,e.g. work colleague or relative of a friend,cutting her off when his gf asked should have been clean and easy to do. He is keeping her around on the side because when the timing is right he is going in.

 

 

And, what are you basing this on? How do you know this is what he's doing?

 

 

I mean, OP even eluded that this girl and him doesn't even live near each other! I'm a diver and I've been to a lot of dives and I have dive friends across the country that I keep in touch with from different backgrounds and different age ranges. Are you eluding to a fact that I want to sleep with all of them?

 

 

Now, I can agree that if the OP wanted her boyfriend to back off this girl, then it shouldn't be a problem for him, but on the same caveat, if this is completely innocent, then forget the detective work, doesn't he have a right to question her trust in him?

[frigginlost]

Which is weird because it's not a lot to go off of.

 

Chi (who I highly respect) and I usually are at polar opposites of how we see or react to situations. He is a brutal NC guy and I'm more of a LC guy.

 

But, I'm with him on this. I have been cheated on and I just don't see anything to round the lynch mob up for.

 

The most important thing that stands out about it to me, is what Chi previously stated about the guy: he was the one who brought it to attention.

 

I was once a 31 year old lad and married and had an 18 year old do the exact thing to me. I told her the exact thing as I did not want to hurt her feelings. We stayed friends for years...

 

And yes, my wife knew about it.