I Don't Know Why I'm Still Doubting Until Now

[Allana]

Hi Everyone

 

I just want to share what happened to me and my fiancé recently. My fiancé told me that he was going to Philip Island for his friend's bucks night. He said they were gonna go karting/go-karting and fishing. So Saturday afternoon he left and never even texted me just once even to check if I was fine by myself or even just a text to say goodnight, but I just didn't mind. The next day, he came home in the afternoon the next day. It's just freakin' weird that he had a long scratch behind his ear. It was indeed a long sore scratch and he said it bled just a little bit and doesn't even remember how it happened. I asked him where he's been 'coz all I know was he just went go-karting with his friends. He then told me that after karting, they were drinking in the house then went to a club and came home. He doesn't even know the name of the club. He said he was aware of what was happening but it's weird that he doesn't remember how he got that long scratch behind his ear. His explanation is bit weird but I just kept listening. He said what he remembered is that there was broken glass on the floor and then I asked him, "What? Did you lay down on the broken glass?" (in a sarcastic way)..and then he said it seemed like someone accidentally swung his arm and hit his ear MAYBE..he doesn't remember..his explanation was just weird..and then he googled the area where they were and then he said he remembers it already then he told me a name of a pub.. and I was like.. Okayyyy.. I still didn't believe him... It seemed like it was scratched by someone with long nails (a woman?? Stripper? Hooker?...no idea).. even the pillow he brought from his overnight stay had even a little bit of blood stain from his ear.. WHAT CAN YOU GUYS SAY ABOUT THE SITUATION?

 

 

 

- ALLANA -

Edited January 20, 2016 by Allana

[Space Ritual]

Well I am sorry that happened.

 

Convenient memory loss plus heavy drinking plus bloody pillow plus long scratch behind the ear equals....wait for it....

 

A bit of too good a time to let you know about.

 

A Bucks Night, Stag Party or Bachelor Party generally are pretty lame unless there is a stripper. Not everyone has them but I have never been to one that didn't.

 

More often than not a very odd explanation is not a very accurate one. Unless you have anything that gives you concrete proof which it seems you don't, you can always be a bit backhanded if you want to know at least more than you already do.

 

You can always cross somebody's wires by going to one of his friends personally that you know was there. Maybe one you think may fancy you a bit. Use some of your feminine charms and just come out and say "I know you guys had a stripper, I know all about it, why would my BF lie to me?"

 

Chances are that he may get tongue tied and throw your BF under the bus in a moment of confusion.

 

I know that is a bit underhanded, but again, you are going with an odd story so the best way to get some of the truth would be to play the "I know" game with one of his buddies.

 

Playing one of these dillrods against the other is a pretty fast way to get some answers.

Again I know that's kind of dastardly but I'm not in the diplomatic corps, and for good reason...lol

[smackie9]

Lets admit he was shi t faced. There is no way he was too aware of anything, it was his buddy's stag for f sakes. The scratch is probably from one of the guys play fighting with him or he got in a scrap at one of the bars....which happens when you are in large drunken group of testosterone.( I worked at a club for 4 years, seen it many times).

 

People who have messed up and cheated usually don't hide it very well. If his behavior has changed, that would be a pretty good indicator. Guilt will play a huge role in this. If he is withdrawn, preoccupied, or overly attentive, you may have a case.

[Chi townD]

Scratch behind the ear? I wouldn't be worried. Weird happenstance. Scratches down his back? I would be worried.

[pteromom]

I wouldn't put too much stock in this scratch.

 

But you should ask yourself some questions...

 

- Is it common for him to drink to the point of not remembering things? If so, it may be just a matter of time before some type of cheatery occurs, even if it didn't this time.

 

- Do you have reason to doubt him? Has he ever done anything shady?

 

Just make sure that you are getting what you need from this relationship. If this night out was a one-time deal, I wouldn't worry about it.

[basil67]

Have you never come home after a night out and find yourself completely unable to explain that weird bruise? If this happened to my guy on a Buck's night, I'd laugh at him.

 

Why do you have this level of distrust for him? How did he lose your trust in him?

[kendahke]

I agree with Basil. There is something more going on here than being upset over a scratch. He could have done it in his sleep--I've scratched myself a good fashion while sleeping. Plus he was drunk? Yeah, he wasn't feeling the pain from it.

 

However, having said that, the way in which you set up this story leads me to believe that you have a whole lot of trust issues that haven't been addressed and resolved. I mean, I assume you're a grown woman. Is this the very first time, ever in your life, that you've been left on your own for an evening? Why wouldn't you be fine by yourself? That just struck me as odd for a grown woman to say something that.

 

Look, your boyfriend went out and had fun with his boys; it got rowdy, he doesn't remember what happened because he was plastered. If this is a one off, you're making a big stink over nothing. If this is a pattern of behavior for him, then you needed to mention that in your initial post .

 

It sounds to me like it comes down to trust, or more to the point: the lack of it on your part. If you can't trust him, then why are you marrying him?