A powerful dream

[ManyDissapoint]

Just need a place to get this out.

 

I woke up an hour ago after a series of nightmares involving my ex gf.

 

In the dream me and a bunch of random people were hanging at some random campground. A lady came and told me that my ex wanted to see me in the bathroom. As I enter the bathroom, she is in the bath, with a razorblade at the ready at her wrist. She looks up at me, slices her wrist and begins bleeding out profusely.

 

I shout and immediately try to stop the bleeding but she dies in seconds.

 

Then this nightmare whirlwinds me around to different scenes, meeting with her brother, explaining to him just how deeply I loved his sister, and I don't know why she ended the relationship, and I don't know why she killed herself, and how sorry I am. Just a big emotional vortex.

 

I can't describe the pain and dread that this feeling that she died gave me. It was vile, pulsating vibration that was extremely strong. I still feel awful right now.

 

I had some thoughts about sending a message or something...to see if she's okay. I'm not a superstitious person at all and don't believe much in anything metaphysical.

 

Just such a weird feeling, this strong urge to tell her how much she means to me...or meant to me. This damned dream has really blurred the lines between past and present for me today.

 

A lobotomy is starting to sound like a reasonable way to become a normal human again.

 

We've been broken up for 15 months.

[TaraMaiden2]

The subconscious conjures up all sorts of tragedies to manifest our innermost feelings.

This is just another image churned up by the fact you're still not over her.

 

I'll look over your past threads to get a clearer picture, but it sounds as if you could do with some kind of counselling.

You're still addicted, and you need professional help to wean you off, for good.

[TaraMaiden2]

Ok. gone over some posts:

It seems, according to some comments you made that you realised that she is egotistical, self-centred and self-serving, and likes attention.

Therefore, I would heartily recommend you continue to maintain radio silence.

 

Secondly, I think you're suffering from PTSD.

 

Get help.

Your outlook seems jaded, when it comes to establishing a relationship, settling down and getting married.

You're hanging a lot of store on the relationship with your ex, but even you admit, more than once, that she is a flawed and damaged person, with only her interests at heart.

 

Naturally, I can see why you'd take this personally, but my guess is, if not you, then someone else would have felt the effects of her attitude....

 

So please rest assured that not all women are like that, and there are good ones out there.

Why write off 50% of the population based on one experience?

You both grew up, but grew into different people.

Things never stay the same.....

 

To deny yourself the possibility of having a better life with a different woman sound to me like biting your nose to spite your face....

[Scarlett.O'hara]

I have another interpretation of your dream that you could consider.

 

For some people, a breakup with someone they love can be really traumatic. The person disappears from their life and it feels like grieving a death.

 

That is possibly what you were processing in your subconscious mind during the dream. It was shocking, painful, and confusing. All emotions you are still working through. Perhaps, you have been repressing these feelings?

 

The conversation with her brother shows a lack of closure. You don't know why she ended the relationship.

 

Intense dreams can leave you feeling out of sorts for a while, but eventually it wears off. Maybe, it was a sign (not that she is in danger) but that you need to work through some of the feelings from the loss of the breakup, and no longer having her in your life, so that you can move on with some peace of mind.

[TaraMaiden2]

I have another interpretation of your dream that you could consider.

 

For some people, a breakup with someone they love can be really traumatic. The person disappears from their life and it feels like grieving a death.

 

That is possibly what you were processing in your subconscious mind during the dream. It was shocking, painful, and confusing. All emotions you are still working through. Perhaps, you have been repressing these feelings?

 

The conversation with her brother shows a lack of closure. You don't know why she ended the relationship.

I'm not sure I agree....His previous threads would indicate that the reasons are relatively clear. He's had his 'closure' and he's done briliantly well so far...However....This?

 

Intense dreams can leave you feeling out of sorts for a while, but eventually it wears off. Maybe, it was a sign (not that she is in danger) but that you need to work through some of the feelings from the loss of the breakup, and no longer having her in your life, so that you can move on with some peace of mind.

 

This, I totally agree with.

[ManyDissapoint]

Thank you for the responses.

 

I agree that I have PTSD. Currently a comprehensive therapy for it involving a professional seems nonviable considering my location and obligations. I am also a bit skeptical of my ability to heal through conversation.

 

I can't believe how I ended up here. Feelings echoed by a large portion of the heartbroken.

[Davidjo]

Just need a place to get this out.

 

I woke up an hour ago after a series of nightmares involving my ex gf.

 

In the dream me and a bunch of random people were hanging at some random campground. A lady came and told me that my ex wanted to see me in the bathroom. As I enter the bathroom, she is in the bath, with a razorblade at the ready at her wrist. She looks up at me, slices her wrist and begins bleeding out profusely.

 

I shout and immediately try to stop the bleeding but she dies in seconds.

 

Then this nightmare whirlwinds me around to different scenes, meeting with her brother, explaining to him just how deeply I loved his sister, and I don't know why she ended the relationship, and I don't know why she killed herself, and how sorry I am. Just a big emotional vortex.

 

I can't describe the pain and dread that this feeling that she died gave me. It was vile, pulsating vibration that was extremely strong. I still feel awful right now.

 

I had some thoughts about sending a message or something...to see if she's okay. I'm not a superstitious person at all and don't believe much in anything metaphysical.

 

Just such a weird feeling, this strong urge to tell her how much she means to me...or meant to me. This damned dream has really blurred the lines between past and present for me today.

 

A lobotomy is starting to sound like a reasonable way to become a normal human again.

 

We've been broken up for 15 months.

 

Dreams are a big part of who we are and often can be used to tap into your subconscious. I've had some crazy experiences with dreams predicting my future and teaching me things about myself. Always pay attention to your dreams. I've studied dreams and meaning so here's what it means

 

To dream that you ex*has died indicates that your feelings for your ex are completely dead now. The dream is a metaphor of how you have let go of the past and are ready to move on and fully devote yourself to new relationships.

 

To see a razor in your dream suggests that there is a situation or problem that you need to smooth out.

 

 

Dreams work in a metaphorical sense most of the time. But I think you'll find that what I've said to be very accurate.

 

Good luck you'll be just fine✌️

[preraph]

I think you're just dealing with some emotions from the breakup that are just now bubbling to the surface so that you can remember them. Probably you've been having dreams you don't remember with some of the same subject matter for awhile but now you're more willing to at least think about it. Sounds like you have some guilt. Just let the dreams keep coming. Hopefully, this was the Big Kahuna and there won't be any more this graphic. If it gets to where it's really upsetting you having the dreams, you can instead lay down and devote a few minutes before you close your eyes to sleep thinking over the situation. And then stop doing that and clear your mind and go to sleep. If you deal with things while your conscious and awake, your subconscious will not have to. But it is normal enough to have it come first through dreams, so don't worry about it.