BossyFlossy Posted January 21, 2016 Share Posted January 21, 2016 My husband is constantly glued to his iPhone to the extent that it's making me feel second rate and ignored. And I mean constantly! When he wakes up he picks it up and checks it, he'll spend all night on it reading the news, lie in bed all Saturday morning reading the news on it. It's like every spare minute of his day when he's not working. Saturday afternoons if there's nothing planned he will just lie on the sofa staring at his phone. It's starting to drive me insane. I've tried speaking to him about it but all he does is retort that I'm on mine too. Not ALL the time I'm not! I'm sociable chatty person, sitting on my phone all night while there's a person sat next to me just isn't my thing, I like realtime and real relationships! Last night said it all really. I'd been out all night straight from work and didn't get in until midnight. He was sat up in bed staring at his phone playing a game on it. He barely acknowledged me let alone ask me how my day/evening had been! I've tried talking to him but it's got me nowhere so I don't know where to go from here other than I know I'm not happy, I need interaction and at the moment I feel like I'm a spare part and his marriage is actually with his phone! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Lois_Griffin Posted January 21, 2016 Share Posted January 21, 2016 After reading your other post about his socially stunted rude and inappropriate behavior coupled with this one, I'm going to assume he's disordered. Has he been tested? Link to post Share on other sites
Author BossyFlossy Posted January 21, 2016 Author Share Posted January 21, 2016 Not that I am aware of no. But other times he behaves totally normally and is chatty and jokey. He will quite happily chat away if we go out for dinner too. So is he choosing to disengage or genuinely can't help himself? I have to say, it just feels like he can't be &arsed to interact half the time. Link to post Share on other sites
ShatteredLady Posted January 21, 2016 Share Posted January 21, 2016 My H & some of my friends worked for a mobile phone company just as they were becoming 'must have' items. I HATED THEM!! We went from chatting all the time too 'everyone' always having their phones with them. I still find mobile phones so rude a lot of the time!! Then it was iPads. I went through the same thing with my H. Half the time it was/is work so it's so hard to deal with. In the end it became "if you can't beat them, join them!". It's getting better but it still annoys me to have a real live person sat next to me constantly looking at a mobile. Ugh!! ....but I wouldn't read & post here so much otherwise Link to post Share on other sites
HereNorThere Posted January 21, 2016 Share Posted January 21, 2016 I'm addicted to technology in a similar way. I literally sleep with 2 iPhones and an iPad laying next to me at night. They are the first things I use in the morning and the last things I use at night. My freaking arms, back, neck, etc hurt all the time from repetitive strain. What starts as a habit eventually becomes a compulsion. Studies show that it takes around 2 weeks to start forming a new habit. He has to be willing to break the cycle or he won't change. This isn't about the iPhone anymore. This is about doing something that he knows is hurting his spouse and continuing to do it anyway. Addiction is defined as a state characterized by compulsive engagement in rewarding stimuli, despite adverse consequences. It's the adverse consequences part that makes it different from a normal habit. My adverse consequences are neck and back pain and his are the effect on his relationship. He has to recognize this as a real addiction if he wants to get better. The question is whether not he really wants to. Link to post Share on other sites
VeveCakes Posted January 21, 2016 Share Posted January 21, 2016 My ex was similar but not that bad. Drove me mental. Was part of our demise. I own a horse farm and on the weekends he would be supposed to be helping with chores but would find him on the couch on his phone. All the time. No words of advice but I feel your pain. Link to post Share on other sites
MidwestUSA Posted January 22, 2016 Share Posted January 22, 2016 You had no indication of this while dating? You didn't date/weren't engaged long, were you? A year, fifteen months max? Link to post Share on other sites
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