sunking101 Posted January 21, 2016 Share Posted January 21, 2016 I keep in touch with one of my exes. We text each other on average once every six months and she isn't on my FB. However my present girlfriend is friends on Facebook with every single one of her exes, right back to her very first one when she was a teenager. She's also friends with former FWB and men she dated a handful of times, plus she also has some photos up on FB with old flames. Now I know that many liberal modernists will probably say that providing she isn't cheating then there's nothing to worry about but seriously, is this normal? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
RySant Posted January 21, 2016 Share Posted January 21, 2016 If all of her break-ups were amicable then yes. Link to post Share on other sites
PegNosePete Posted January 21, 2016 Share Posted January 21, 2016 "Normal" is subjective. Some will say it's normal, some will say it's not. Some people view their facebook security and online identity very liberally, being friends with everyone they've ever met, and even many people they have never met. Such people should take care not to post personal information because they are broadcasting it to a lot of people who they don't know very well. For example checking in to Heathrow Airport saying "off skiing for 2 weeks woohoo!!" may seem harmless fun but if it can be seen by many people you barely know, and even worse if you have security set to "friends of friends" or "public"! That post may be seen by thousands of people who don't know. Doing that is just asking to get burgled while you're away. Some people (such as myself) can't imagine doing that, why would I want near-strangers or actual strangers to be able to see all my holiday pics? I use facebook to share information and communicate with my friends. Assuming she is in the first group of people, here. Providing she's not cheating, having inappropriate private chats, interacting inappropriately or risking her personal security by over-sharing, then nothing to worry about. However it would totally do my head in to date someone like that. I could never understand why someone would be facebook friends with someone they are not RL friends with. What's the point? Link to post Share on other sites
lolablue17 Posted January 21, 2016 Share Posted January 21, 2016 It's not a matter of normal or not. It says many great things about her. That she's liberal, that she know how to break up amicably, that she isn't resentful to peaople in general, that she is a really really good friend. I wouldn't have liked it. I wouldn't stay with a such a woman. Not because I think there's something wrong with her. But there is surly something wrong with me. Also not because I would have been afraid to be cheated on. But because I don't like that kind of lifestyle. I'm a little jealous and I don't like my girlfriend to be in touch with her ex's too much, not to mention former FWB. I would like a girlfriend who is jealous with me on the same level. It's a matter of personality. everyone has his own preferences. Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted January 21, 2016 Share Posted January 21, 2016 I say attention whore. She knows they are still attracted to her/ desire her.....she likes to keep them close.....especially the ones she has dated/FWB.....just in case things don't work out she has plenty to go to. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Amelie1980 Posted January 21, 2016 Share Posted January 21, 2016 I say attention whore. She knows they are still attracted to her/ desire her.....she likes to keep them close.....especially the ones she has dated/FWB.....just in case things don't work out she has plenty to go to. I would say the same. I know a guy like that. Link to post Share on other sites
truth_seeker Posted January 21, 2016 Share Posted January 21, 2016 I say attention whore. She knows they are still attracted to her/ desire her.....she likes to keep them close.....especially the ones she has dated/FWB.....just in case things don't work out she has plenty to go to. I have a question: what's up with people who have 800 or 1,000 or more friends on Facebook... especially women. I was interested in this girl some time ago and when I observed her Facebook she had close to 1,000 friends, lots of them men and she liked a lot of guys pictures. Maybe I was crazy to think she was a whore who had relationships with some of these men in the past? BTW, I agree with the "plenty to go to" comment. Link to post Share on other sites
Space Ritual Posted January 21, 2016 Share Posted January 21, 2016 Now I know that many liberal modernists will probably say that providing she isn't cheating then there's nothing to worry about but seriously, is this normal? Are you only seeking input from Conservative Reactionaries whom will suggest your GF wears her skirts too short on her FB photos and should only wear a Burlap Bag in public? The answer is like most people, that she is probably keeping her communication open with those she liked at one time or another. You keep in touch with an ex, so there is no reason why she has to cease all communication with her exes, right? If you are going to go the route of keeping score like this, then your relationship is not a very healthy one. You would be wise to seek out a relationship where you have a little less suspicion. Between this and your other thread, your relationship is on life support as it is. Link to post Share on other sites
Space Ritual Posted January 21, 2016 Share Posted January 21, 2016 I have a question: what's up with people who have 800 or 1,000 or more friends on Facebook... especially women. I was interested in this girl some time ago and when I observed her Facebook she had close to 1,000 friends, lots of them men and she liked a lot of guys pictures. Maybe I was crazy to think she was a whore who had relationships with some of these men in the past? BTW, I agree with the "plenty to go to" comment. depends on whether the person uses a profile picture of Denise Milani or not. People attempt to pass themselves off as her with regularity on Facebook. And for good reason...Some days I swear she must have a lot of twins when I see that "People You May Know" section of FB.... https://www.facebook.com/denisemilaniofficial Link to post Share on other sites
truth_seeker Posted January 21, 2016 Share Posted January 21, 2016 depends on whether the person uses a profile picture of Denise Milani or not. People attempt to pass themselves off as her with regularity on Facebook. And for good reason...Some days I swear she must have a lot of twins when I see that "People You May Know" section of FB.... https://www.facebook.com/denisemilaniofficial The girl I was speaking of has a picture of herself... also, some others I've met were through dating. Link to post Share on other sites
moebius Posted January 21, 2016 Share Posted January 21, 2016 I guess it isn't normal in the sense that usually you don't get in touch with every ex you have. Furthermore usually you don't get in touch with a single one. And that happens because there is plenty of reasons for not staying in touch with exes. From that point of view I guess it is not normal. That being said there is nothing necessarily wrong unless you have a problem with that. And if you have, which I guess you do because you are asking about it here, you should have a talk with her. I'd say it's not easy to keep in touch with someone you loved, if you are in love with someone else. Because love is never 100% gone after a relationship. Does it means she haven't fall in love with any of them? Her ex FWB is way more complicated matter. Because such relationships are do not end because "love is gone" but usually because one of them is in a relationship. And there comes the question: what happens if there is a break or break up? We all know what happens, right? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
TheTraveler Posted January 21, 2016 Share Posted January 21, 2016 I guess it isn't normal in the sense that usually you don't get in touch with every ex you have. Furthermore usually you don't get in touch with a single one. And that happens because there is plenty of reasons for not staying in touch with exes. From that point of view I guess it is not normal. That being said there is nothing necessarily wrong unless you have a problem with that. And if you have, which I guess you do because you are asking about it here, you should have a talk with her. I'd say it's not easy to keep in touch with someone you loved, if you are in love with someone else. Because love is never 100% gone after a relationship. Does it means she haven't fall in love with any of them? Her ex FWB is way more complicated matter. Because such relationships are do not end because "love is gone" but usually because one of them is in a relationship. And there comes the question: what happens if there is a break or break up? We all know what happens, right? I definitely keep my FWB's friends on FB. You can always get back into situations to lay the pipe again. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Amelie1980 Posted January 21, 2016 Share Posted January 21, 2016 I guess it isn't normal in the sense that usually you don't get in touch with every ex you have. Furthermore usually you don't get in touch with a single one. And that happens because there is plenty of reasons for not staying in touch with exes. From that point of view I guess it is not normal. That being said there is nothing necessarily wrong unless you have a problem with that. And if you have, which I guess you do because you are asking about it here, you should have a talk with her. I'd say it's not easy to keep in touch with someone you loved, if you are in love with someone else. Because love is never 100% gone after a relationship. Does it means she haven't fall in love with any of them? Her ex FWB is way more complicated matter. Because such relationships are do not end because "love is gone" but usually because one of them is in a relationship. And there comes the question: what happens if there is a break or break up? We all know what happens, right? So you go back to your old FWB's once you have a break up? Link to post Share on other sites
truth_seeker Posted January 22, 2016 Share Posted January 22, 2016 I definitely keep my FWB's friends on FB. You can always get back into situations to lay the pipe again. This creep (mailman) I knew from years past once told me: once you get a girl, you can always get her again. Which was his way of saying: any woman you have sex with, there's always the possibility of hooking up with them at a later date. I think there is truth to this. However, it depends on the woman. Link to post Share on other sites
moebius Posted January 22, 2016 Share Posted January 22, 2016 I definitely keep my FWB's friends on FB. You can always get back into situations to lay the pipe again. That's my point. Keeping your FWB in Facebook is a sign your commitment to the relationship is poor. I mean, we all know our relationship could end at anytime. But I guess you have to be committed to it as long as it lasts. Having such a contact in FB is too much. And in the end you don't really need that if you ever want to find that person again. This could seem subtle, but I think it means a lot. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author sunking101 Posted January 22, 2016 Author Share Posted January 22, 2016 That's my point. Keeping your FWB in Facebook is a sign your commitment to the relationship is poor. I mean, we all know our relationship could end at anytime. But I guess you have to be committed to it as long as it lasts. Having such a contact in FB is too much. And in the end you don't really need that if you ever want to find that person again. This could seem subtle, but I think it means a lot. So therefore keeping every ex, old dating site flings, FWBs and photos of exes & FWBs on Facebook is a pretty damned poor commitment to your supposedly serious relationship... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
PegNosePete Posted January 22, 2016 Share Posted January 22, 2016 So therefore keeping every ex, old dating site flings, FWBs and photos of exes & FWBs on Facebook is a pretty damned poor commitment to your supposedly serious relationship... I wouldn't immediately leap to that conclusion. Like I said earlier. some people use social media differently to others. How many other friends does she have? Does she have hundreds, almost every single person she's ever met? Or is she usually quite selective about who she friends? Link to post Share on other sites
moebius Posted January 23, 2016 Share Posted January 23, 2016 So therefore keeping every ex, old dating site flings, FWBs and photos of exes & FWBs on Facebook is a pretty damned poor commitment to your supposedly serious relationship... For an average person I'd say yes. I don't know if your GF is a special case. But then, what do you think about this? I mean, your opinion is what matters here. If you feel uncomfortable with this she should take notice. And maybe do something about it. After all by doing this she's putting all her past into your present. And I don't think that's a good thing to do if you don't like it. Link to post Share on other sites
Wewon Posted January 23, 2016 Share Posted January 23, 2016 My opinion, she either is fairly glib about facebook, meaning that it is about as big of a deal to her as waving to someone as she walks down the street. Or she's that way about her relationships, meaning that don't have enough of an impact on her to be that big of a deal. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts