GWNN88 Posted January 21, 2016 Share Posted January 21, 2016 I wont explain my whole story so a quick summary....I was with my ex for 7 years and It's been 4 months since we broke up, I did NC and after that I tried to reconnect with my ex through text was all going well until just before Christmas he stopped texting in mid convo and then I happen to come across a picture of him with someone new so then I realised he moved on as much as it hurts to see it and find out he's moved on so very quickly I still can't help but love him and I want him back. I know it's wrong to say you want someone when they are with someone as I wouldn't want to wish to break someone up but my feelings for him are to strong for me to let them go. During my time with NC I used that time for myself and during that time he was slipping away and all I realised is that I still want him in my life and we deserve to have a second chance to start again and make what we had more amazing than it was. But what do I do when he's in a new relationship and we are not talking, I know this just shows I should just let go and let him be with his new gf I just can't give up on what I believe deep down is what I want to do, if I don't try how do I know it wasn't worth it. I thought to write a letter but people's views on that wasn't good even though it was a letter accepting the break up and hoping him the best but showing how much he meant to me and what not. So my question is there any chance for me to have a second chance if he's moved on? I want to reconnect with him but not sure on which ways to go about it? Everyone deserved a second chance right? So I need to make mine happen i just need help and guidance.... thanks. Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted January 21, 2016 Share Posted January 21, 2016 We really can't tell you if you have another chance without knowing what the breakup was about. Did he break up with you or did you break up with him? Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted January 21, 2016 Share Posted January 21, 2016 Okay I just read your past thread and he broke up with you, said he still loves you but is not in love with you. That doesn't sound promising does it? When an ex was the one to break up and has declared they no longer are in love you have to believe it. I know you don't think this other girl is his type but it wouldn't surprise me if he had her in mind when he broke up with her. If it makes you feel better to write the letter for closure then do. But don't mail it. If he broke up with you, said he was no longer in love, any plan for reconciliation would have to come from him. Any move you make at this point will be viewed as begging which is a turn off. Link to post Share on other sites
Author GWNN88 Posted January 21, 2016 Author Share Posted January 21, 2016 He broke up with me, he said he loved me but not in love with me anymore for reasons he didn't explain to me, people close to us were all moving on getting engaged and married and having kids and he said he looked at his future and didn't see me in it, this was all a shock to me as we was planning on moving in together but wasn't rushing things at all we was kinda go with the flow kind of couple. Link to post Share on other sites
DrMario Posted January 21, 2016 Share Posted January 21, 2016 Normally when a woman has broken up with me, she will give me a string of excuses and leave, and in my experience, the string of excuses was only a mask for the real reason underneath, it was the same old storyline every single time, I beat myself black and blue and eventually I always found out that they had left because they had found somebody else, as much as I wouldn't like to think my current ex could do this to me, most likely, she did, most likely she kicked me out of the house to get rid of me for a new guy, and mostly likely she dumped me shortly afterward so she could begin her time with a new guy, we all like to protect our feelings and play pretend but sometimes messed up stuff happens and that's life I'm afraid. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted January 21, 2016 Share Posted January 21, 2016 He broke up with me, he said he loved me but not in love with me anymore for reasons he didn't explain to me, people close to us were all moving on getting engaged and married and having kids and he said he looked at his future and didn't see me in it, this was all a shock to me as we was planning on moving in together but wasn't rushing things at all we was kinda go with the flow kind of couple. I'm sorry but when a man tells you point blank the above please believe him. It wasn't easy for him to say those words to you after 7 years but he meant it. I know you think this other girl is a rebound, not his type, but you don't know what their emotional connection is like. That is usually what hooks a man, that and the sex. Write your closure letter and get it all out and then burn it. I wish you luck in moving forward. You will be okay. Link to post Share on other sites
EnniA Posted January 21, 2016 Share Posted January 21, 2016 It breaks my heart to read this since i am in the same situation. He roke up with me months ago, said he didnt love me anymore and on New Years eve i found out that he is with sb new. O god did i cry and wished him back, i texted him the firsrt two days asking stupid questions, then i stopped after feeling how little he gives a ****. I still have him on whatsup and viber, he keeps blocking and unblocking me, but i never ask why. My advice to you would be to let it go, dont write that letter, at least dont send it. Maybe one day they will come back crawling but i sincerely hope we will care less by then , take care dear. Hugs Link to post Share on other sites
kiki2015 Posted January 21, 2016 Share Posted January 21, 2016 Hi OP, This sounds similar to what I went through, same number of years, same timelines and I'm 99% sure now my ex had already lined her up. Regardless, it'll either work out with her or it won't, but in the meantime I would step right back and let him get on with it. He might come back, but by the time he does you won't care (honestly). I really recommend these two books, they helped me for future: I Love You But I'm Not in Love with You: Seven Steps to Saving Your Relationship by Marshall, Andrew G. New Edition The Road Less Travelled by M. Scott Peck. Definitely go no contact though. *hugs* Link to post Share on other sites
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