tiki Posted June 7, 2005 Share Posted June 7, 2005 BIG FRICKIN DEAL. Don't get them a gift. Some gay ass gift they'll never use anyway, like cufflinks. Come on. I don't think my Husband got his groomsmen squat. And NO, it doesn't mean your a cheapskate. And I say f*ck tradition. I did like the idea about buying their tuxes so that they don't have to pay to be in *your* wedding. That's the best idea yet. Any other gift is gay, sorry. Even a gift card is borderline gag~worthy. Link to post Share on other sites
blind_otter Posted June 7, 2005 Share Posted June 7, 2005 Originally posted by tiki BIG FRICKIN DEAL. Don't get them a gift. Some gay ass gift they'll never use anyway, like cufflinks. Come on. I don't think my Husband got his groomsmen squat. And NO, it doesn't mean your a cheapskate. And I say f*ck tradition. I did like the idea about buying their tuxes so that they don't have to pay to be in *your* wedding. That's the best idea yet. Any other gift is gay*, sorry. Even a gift card is borderline gag~worthy. *not that there's anything wrong with that Yeah! Tiki be all on my side and sheyot. Link to post Share on other sites
tiki Posted June 7, 2005 Share Posted June 7, 2005 Originally posted by blind_otter Well Miss Manners can blow me ...such a way with words, my love. Link to post Share on other sites
Naive Posted June 7, 2005 Share Posted June 7, 2005 Originally posted by UltimateZen Just a question: Could I avoid giving groomsmen gifts if I know that the guys who are on my side could care less about getting something? My problem is that my fiance is set on making sure I get some sort of gift to give to the guys because it is "tradition". My arguement is that I have already treated them to a good dinner/drinks as a thank you. Why do I have to spend more money on gifts? We have already spent mucho bucks on this wedding, why not eliminate a "tradition" that frankly, I have no interest in following. I am not about to get the guys pocketwatches or cufflinks or some trinket that is tacky to give just to fulfill a tradition. Any feedback would help. Hey they are doing you a favor because they obviously care a lot about you the least you could do is give them a nice gift. So you treated them to dinner....I am sure many of them have done that and more for you over the years. Might as well be thankful and show your appreciation. Believe me, even though you think they do not care for it they will. Link to post Share on other sites
tiki Posted June 7, 2005 Share Posted June 7, 2005 In all reality, you should have to pay them for their time to wear that horrific clothing that they would never be seen elsewhere in. Chances are....and depending on your/their age...they probably don't even know proper wedding etiquette. There's your chance to bail!!! Link to post Share on other sites
blind_otter Posted June 7, 2005 Share Posted June 7, 2005 Originally posted by tiki In all reality, you should have to pay them for their time to wear that horrific clothing that they would never be seen elsewhere in. Chances are....and depending on your/their age...they probably don't even know proper wedding etiquette. There's your chance to bail!!! Link to post Share on other sites
HokeyReligions Posted June 7, 2005 Share Posted June 7, 2005 Originally posted by UltimateZen Perhaps; and as I said in my previous posts, I am only trying to rationalize the expenditure. It's a big wedding -- IMHO the whole thing is an irrational expenditure! Rationalize it by calling it an appeasement fee for your bride; but don't tell her that! Just curious, but is she a 'high maintenance' woman? Or is the wedding extravangaza a bit out-of-the-ordinary for her? Link to post Share on other sites
Author UltimateZen Posted June 7, 2005 Author Share Posted June 7, 2005 Originally posted by HokeyReligions It's a big wedding -- IMHO the whole thing is an irrational expenditure! Rationalize it by calling it an appeasement fee for your bride; but don't tell her that! Just curious, but is she a 'high maintenance' woman? Or is the wedding extravangaza a bit out-of-the-ordinary for her? Definitely not a high maint. woman. This wedding is out of the ordinary and I actually did all the research for her because it became to overwhelming. I helped with all the big decisions and did all that I could to control the "parents" input; which was a task in itself. Her mother still slips and thinks of it as "her" wedding; so you can imagine how many "discussions" we had in making decisions. All my energy went to make sure my fiance got her way because our parents had wanted to cater the wedding to what they envisioned. At this stage of the game I have stepped back a bit because it is now all the fluffy, womanly details such as guest gifts, linens, place setting decision making needs to be done and I have very little interest in it other than making sure my fiance is in full control and is making the decisions. Link to post Share on other sites
SexKitten Posted June 7, 2005 Share Posted June 7, 2005 i meant $2-300 total, not on each groomsmen. i certainly wouldn't expect you to go above and beyond what is normal, given your attitude toward it to begin with. Link to post Share on other sites
HokeyReligions Posted June 7, 2005 Share Posted June 7, 2005 Originally posted by UltimateZen Definitely not a high maint. woman. This wedding is out of the ordinary and I actually did all the research for her because it became to overwhelming. I helped with all the big decisions and did all that I could to control the "parents" input; which was a task in itself. Her mother still slips and thinks of it as "her" wedding; so you can imagine how many "discussions" we had in making decisions. All my energy went to make sure my fiance got her way because our parents had wanted to cater the wedding to what they envisioned. At this stage of the game I have stepped back a bit because it is now all the fluffy, womanly details such as guest gifts, linens, place setting decision making needs to be done and I have very little interest in it other than making sure my fiance is in full control and is making the decisions. AWE! (parents are damn near impossible to control no matter how big or small the wedding! Mine was not a formal wedding (I even worked a half day that day) but in the months leading up to it I was pulling my hair out trying to schedule everything to everyone else's convenience!) We had a total of, um, let's see, 10 I think: Actual ceremony: 1. Me 2. Hubby 3. My mom 4. His best friend 5. My SIL (my best friend) Reception (of sorts) The above and 6. His best friends wife (neither of us liked her--he has since remarried) 7. Hubby's drunk father 8. Hubby's step-mother 9. Hubby's Aunt 10. My brother (who showed up for only about 15 minutes--long enough to pick up his wife and head back home. He couldn't get the day off work.) Personally, I still thought that was too many people! Anyway, props to you for doing so much and caring so much! I think you answered your own question though: All my energy went to make sure my fiance got her way There's your groomsmen gift justification. Link to post Share on other sites
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