Mjm1014 Posted January 22, 2016 Share Posted January 22, 2016 Okay long story short, I was seeing a girl I liked about a year ago.. We hung out for 3-4 months...towards the end, I wanted to introduce her to my family and asked her to be my girlfriend (we were intimate, she treated me like her bf so I didn't see the issue), and she basically ended things and told me she didn't want anything serious, and that it would be best if we stopped seeing eachother. Part of me thinks it's because it was long distance (only saw her once a week since I commuted to a different city for work-I'm a pilot), and the other part of me says maybe she just wasn't attracted to me or was only hanging out with me until something better came along. I never really got a reason from her other than she didn't think it would work-although she did say she fell for me harder in the beginning than any guy she ever dated. My family didn't understand why she wouldn't meet them either, and thought it was strange. Anyways I still think about her all the time, and miss her. I've dated a lot of people over the years and honestly I felt the biggest connection with her. Anyways, I'm finally moving back to the same town (and no it's not for her lol), and stupid me drank too much last night and I texted her to let her know. She's getting back to all my texts and seems enthusiastic, but it's hard to get excited when she was the one that rejected me. Should I try with her again or keep my held high and try my best to forget her over time? I guess my biggest hang up is, maybe she just didn't want to do long distance? -wishful thinking I guess Link to post Share on other sites
moebius Posted January 22, 2016 Share Posted January 22, 2016 You should plain ask her this. Gentle, but precise. "why do you come back if you ended up things before?" I think is a reasonable question in this case. Link to post Share on other sites
Redhead14 Posted January 22, 2016 Share Posted January 22, 2016 Okay long story short, I was seeing a girl I liked about a year ago.. We hung out for 3-4 months...towards the end, I wanted to introduce her to my family and asked her to be my girlfriend (we were intimate, she treated me like her bf so I didn't see the issue), and she basically ended things and told me she didn't want anything serious, and that it would be best if we stopped seeing eachother. Part of me thinks it's because it was long distance (only saw her once a week since I commuted to a different city for work-I'm a pilot), and the other part of me says maybe she just wasn't attracted to me or was only hanging out with me until something better came along. I never really got a reason from her other than she didn't think it would work-although she did say she fell for me harder in the beginning than any guy she ever dated. My family didn't understand why she wouldn't meet them either, and thought it was strange. Anyways I still think about her all the time, and miss her. I've dated a lot of people over the years and honestly I felt the biggest connection with her. Anyways, I'm finally moving back to the same town (and no it's not for her lol), and stupid me drank too much last night and I texted her to let her know. She's getting back to all my texts and seems enthusiastic, but it's hard to get excited when she was the one that rejected me. Should I try with her again or keep my held high and try my best to forget her over time? I guess my biggest hang up is, maybe she just didn't want to do long distance? -wishful thinking I guess She told you she didn't want anything serious with you at least. Meeting the family ups things. She may have liked you enough and was enjoying the time with you, but once you bring family into it, it potentially causes the possibility for more hurt if the relationship doesn't develop -- i.e. becoming attached to some of your family members. So if the relationship ends, she's not only having to say goodbye to you, she's having to say goodbye to them as well. It's a double-whammy. It doesn't sound as though you two ever really had a real conversation about what you each were looking for for yourselves out of your dating journeys in the very beginning. As soon as you asked her to be your girlfriend, she backed off. I don't think it was some kind of knee jerk reaction. She was never looking for a serious relationship (or may not with you). Perhaps she told herself it wouldn't be a good idea because of the distance to start with, who knows. She's getting back to all my texts and seems enthusiastic, but it's hard to get excited when she was the one that rejected me. -- You were excited enough to start texting her again when you figured out that you would be moving to her town . . . Give her a call, have a real conversation about "where" she is now that time has passed. Maybe she has a boyfriend now or she still isn't looking for a serious relationship with anyone . . . I wouldn't get my hopes up with her, but at least she is responding. Link to post Share on other sites
fitnessfan365 Posted January 22, 2016 Share Posted January 22, 2016 If anything, it sounds like your feelings have grown over time. So if she ended things for getting "too serious" back then, and you like her even more now, I don't see you being able to be patient. Just saying.. Link to post Share on other sites
b-Shock Posted January 22, 2016 Share Posted January 22, 2016 Has she shared any of her past with you? It sounds like she could be afraid of commitment. Link to post Share on other sites
Simon Phoenix Posted January 22, 2016 Share Posted January 22, 2016 She was "enthusiastic" because she hadn't heard from you in a while. That doesn't mean she is in any way receptive toward dating you. I wouldn't send her anything else and see if she pursues you. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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