Black Cement Posted January 22, 2016 Posted January 22, 2016 I'm talking to this girl. We're having a nice convo on Facebook & I told her she looks like my ex. She replied "lol, super awkward, who's your ex? (& a bunch of other questions.)" I sent her the link & then she stopped responding. Did I mess up?! Would any of you women take offense to that? It took a couple of days for her to respond to my first msg, am I just tripping? 1
hasaquestion Posted January 22, 2016 Posted January 22, 2016 I'm talking to this girl. We're having a nice convo on Facebook & I told her she looks like my ex. She replied "lol, super awkward, who's your ex? (& a bunch of other questions.)" I sent her the link & then she stopped responding. Did I mess up?! Would any of you women take offense to that? It took a couple of days for her to respond to my first msg, am I just tripping? Never compare a girl to your ex. Even if its true, its one of those things that is best kept to yourself. Girls want to feel special. 14
Satu Posted January 22, 2016 Posted January 22, 2016 Snip Did I mess up?! Would any of you women take offense to that? It took a couple of days for her to respond to my first msg, am I just tripping? Mega clumsy. 7
Author Black Cement Posted January 22, 2016 Author Posted January 22, 2016 I did say "sort of." I tried to change the subject, but she stopped responding. 1
Satu Posted January 22, 2016 Posted January 22, 2016 I did say "sort of." I tried to change the subject, but she stopped responding. Chalk it up to experience, and remember that people like to be acknowledged as a unique individual, rather than as a doppelgänger of someone from your past. 6
Redhead14 Posted January 22, 2016 Posted January 22, 2016 I'm talking to this girl. We're having a nice convo on Facebook & I told her she looks like my ex. She replied "lol, super awkward, who's your ex? (& a bunch of other questions.)" I sent her the link & then she stopped responding. Did I mess up?! Would any of you women take offense to that? It took a couple of days for her to respond to my first msg, am I just tripping? No woman wants to be compared in any way shape or form to another woman. Then you sent a link to your ex's picture??? Bad form. The fact that you still have anything about your ex sends a message that perhaps you're not over that one (whether or not that's true), but just don't do it. If she "comes" back, just tell her she's beautiful . . . 6
losangelena Posted January 22, 2016 Posted January 22, 2016 Did I mess up?! Would any of you women take offense to that? It took a couple of days for her to respond to my first msg, am I just tripping? (facepalm) Don't do that again. Even if it's true that she looks like your ex, just don't say that, it cannot be unheard. Now this new woman will wonder if you're just interested in her because you're hung up on your ex. 4
Author Black Cement Posted January 22, 2016 Author Posted January 22, 2016 Well I'm stupid. To be fair though, the whole convo started because I said she looked familiar, then I said it. 1
TheTraveler Posted January 22, 2016 Posted January 22, 2016 Well I'm stupid. To be fair though, the whole convo started because I said she looked familiar, then I said it. Yes it was stupid. 2
Author Black Cement Posted January 22, 2016 Author Posted January 22, 2016 It's not like I said she's ugly, my ex is hot. 1
losangelena Posted January 22, 2016 Posted January 22, 2016 It's not like I said she's ugly, my ex is hot. Yeah, but who cares. Again, it sets off all kinds of questions—are you still hung-up on your ex? Do you have a fetish for women who look like your ex? Are you going to project things you didn't like about your ex onto this new woman? It may seem like a small thing to you, but it's really a pandora's box. 7
TheArtist Posted January 22, 2016 Posted January 22, 2016 Yeah, that's probably the second worst thing you can say to a girl, the first being, 'You remind me of my mum'. I'd probably let this girl go. 1
Lois_Griffin Posted January 22, 2016 Posted January 22, 2016 It's not like I said she's ugly, my ex is hot. Your childish need to show off your 'hot' ex to a new girl is juvenile and in bad form. Just the fact that you're still bragging about her here in this thread instead of HEARING what everyone is telling you shows exactly what your mindset is. And for what it's worth, if she's your ex, then all that tells us is that you didn't have what it takes to hold onto someone 'hot.' So how impressed can we really be? 7
preraph Posted January 22, 2016 Posted January 22, 2016 Here's the problem. It looks like you're still into your ex or you wouldn't be picking women who look like her. One personal example and one observation: I broke up with someone who had at one time mentioned the M word. He wasted no time whatever and moved on to a woman who had been chasing him through the last part of his marriage. Married her. Still married to her. It should be said that she looks nothing like me. So some years ago I go to a local reunion gig involving the band this guy is in. He'd been married maybe 15-20 years by then. I used to do some things with the band, just sort of give input and things, try to help out. So at this gig, I say hi to everyone. His wife isn't there. I'm by now nearly 50. A young late 20s girl goes by who walks and looks and has some mannerisms a whole lot like me, and he grabs her and introduces briefly then goes on to do something else. She says "Hi, I'm _____. I'm the new you." She was indeed! That she even knew who I was, I considered odd enough after a couple of decades. That she knew she was the new me was completely nuts. And I couldn't help wondering if seeing how much we looked alike creeped her out or if she'd known it all along. She was helping him sort of like I used to. I never saw her again, by the way, and his wife was at I think the few other gigs I went to, staring hawkishly. It can't have escaped her. I had an employee who had been with her bf for a few years. She was cute with overprocessed damaged blond hair, cute figure, cute face. They broke up, which surprised everyone. Not long after I saw them in the grocery store. I'd seen him turn his head and knew it was him but only saw her from behind. I went up to say hi and fortunately stopped right before I said her name, and saw that this wasn't her at all. It was what I would call a bad copy. She looked like an old junkie in the face, but the rest of her, body and hair was just like her. So again, creepy.
hasaquestion Posted January 22, 2016 Posted January 22, 2016 Your childish need to show off your 'hot' ex to a new girl is juvenile and in bad form. Just the fact that you're still bragging about her here in this thread instead of HEARING what everyone is telling you shows exactly what your mindset is. And for what it's worth, if she's your ex, then all that tells us is that you didn't have what it takes to hold onto someone 'hot.' So how impressed can we really be? Holy overreaction batman. He's just saying he didn't intend to insult her. Which is probably true. 2
preraph Posted January 22, 2016 Posted January 22, 2016 I do think it can be saved with this girl by simply telling her it was just coincidence she kind of resembles the ex and that you like all different types, not just that type.
Author Black Cement Posted January 22, 2016 Author Posted January 22, 2016 She wanted to know who my ex was, so I showed her, is it really that bad?
Redhead14 Posted January 22, 2016 Posted January 22, 2016 She wanted to know who my ex was, so I showed her, is it really that bad? Well once you opened that can of worms, you kinda had to follow through with her inquiry, however, a better way to handle it would have been, "you know, I shouldn't have mentioned her. I think you are beautiful and there is no point in going into it further. I'm talking to YOU now. How about dinner on Xday?" 4
losangelena Posted January 22, 2016 Posted January 22, 2016 She wanted to know who my ex was, so I showed her, is it really that bad? Is she talking to you anymore? 4
DrReplyInRhymes Posted January 22, 2016 Posted January 22, 2016 She wanted to know who my ex was, so I showed her, is it really that bad? It's called a **** test, and you failed my good sir, You should have deflected and replied with a humorous answer, Then moved to the next topic with no mention of it, But instead with a picture, you gave her a comparison to fit. 1
katiegrl Posted January 22, 2016 Posted January 22, 2016 It's not like I said she's ugly, my ex is hot. Me thinks you still have the hots for your EX. 4
lilmissjava Posted January 23, 2016 Posted January 23, 2016 She may have thought your ex wasn't attractive at all. YOU might think she's hot, but the girl you were talking to might have thought otherwise. Despite all that, it really was the worst thing you could have said to her. You shouldn't be dating if your ex even crosses your mind. I would leave let it alone now and lesson learned.
frus69 Posted January 23, 2016 Posted January 23, 2016 If a guy said that to be I'd feel weird. And think either he isn't over her or I think the ex looks ugly and wasn't happy he thinks I look like her 1
walkingonair Posted January 23, 2016 Posted January 23, 2016 No girl wants to be compared to an ex. She wants to be the only special girl in your life and now she feels like you're not over your ex and she knows that when a guy isn't over his ex, he's emotionally unavailable and won't commit so she'll just be wasting her time.
organizedchaos Posted January 23, 2016 Posted January 23, 2016 She wanted to know who my ex was, so I showed her, is it really that bad? How old are you and how many relationships have you been in? You're making rookie mistakes and failing to understand why. 3
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