judy Posted June 7, 2005 Share Posted June 7, 2005 My ex hurted me a year ago. Long story short. He cheated on me with another woman at work and basically set me up with some excueses and we broke up last April. Then I found out he moved that woman in within a week and married her within 3 months. At meantime, he did not visit his kid for 6 months because he wanted to work out the relationship with that woman. Now every time we had contact for the kid, I just kept bitting on him about past. I don't want to be that way, but just can not help to be that way. Anybody tell me how to control myself? Link to post Share on other sites
HokeyReligions Posted June 7, 2005 Share Posted June 7, 2005 You just have to force yourself to not do that. If you have to write down what you are going to say so that you have a script to follow then do that. Stick to talking ONLY about your child. He is with someone else now and probably can never give you the closure you need to move on. Maybe some short-term counseling will help you deal with the way you were treated. You sound so full of anger and that is perfectly understandable. Concentrate on your child. Pinch yourself or something when you feel the need to talk about your past with him and get back on track. Find some new interests for your own life and work on moving forward. Link to post Share on other sites
Lil Honey Posted June 7, 2005 Share Posted June 7, 2005 I agree with Hokey. Have a script handy and talk about only those things that pertain to your child. When you feel the conversation straying, tell him that you need to hang the phone up and that you will discuss it later with him. Then, when you feel stronger again, call and finish the discussion. You need to be able to be civil for your child. Don't let your child hear you have angry conversations with your husband and don't let him/her hear you calling the ex names. Both of you need to be able to work together in order to do what is best for the child. Another thing that may help is to have a scheduled time and day that you talk to him about your child. That way you know that on (for example) Sunday at 2:00, you need to be strong enough to deal with it and only for a couple of minutes. Keep the conversations brief. Link to post Share on other sites
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