Online Dating for hot guys

[AverageJoe1986]

Not every woman will care and some will simply be enamored by looks alone, but that's certainly not everyone's response. Just like some men are capable of turning down good looking women who don't meet other standards they have, while other men seem not to care whether she has cotton balls for brains or not, it's no different. The women who responded and kept responding to you were obviously of the shallow, don't care variety...so your experiment simply proved that some women are shallow and don't care....but was that really a shock?

 

I seem to need to re-emphasise again that the idea that women were discrimating over looks and that some women were shallow was exactly what I expected and entirely normal. What has shocked me is the sheer number of messages I'm getting and the willingness for these women to completely overlook flaw after flaw after flaw and continue to pursue me.

 

I am also, quite frankly surprised at the imbalance. Before all this I would have expected that had you told me I was going to try this I would have definitely thought that the hot guy profile would be easily more succesful. But I didn't expect the level of imbalance that I found. Like I said, I made the hot guy profile essentially the same as my own but I dulled it down, took out the personality and added a few glaring spelling errors for seasoning. Now the fact that my profile had 3 or 4 messages in SIX MONTHS whereas hot guy is now running at around 250 in TWO DAYS (mostly completely unsolicited) suggests that your faith in women's ability to overlook the physical online is misplaced.

Edited January 25, 2016 by AverageJoe1986

[AverageJoe1986]

AJ ....keep in mind I have not dated in six years... let alone ever had much experience with OLD .....but would it possible to say that, for privacy reasons, you did not feel comfortable posting your real picture?

 

But that you find her so intriguing, you would like to send her one?

 

I dunno, just a thought!

 

Did you realise I'm the original poster? The reason she hasn't seen my real picture is that she was messaging the fake profile I have up.

 

To be honest it'd be great if I could say to her: 'Hey we get on so well to be honest the stunningly hot guy you thought I was isn't really me I'm just an average guy' and she was to say 'Wow well I am so enamoured with your personality I'll overlook the fact that you're posting online from a deceitful profile'. But I live in the real world.

[Space Ritual]

Average Joe,

 

I found this thread to be perhaps one of the most interesting I've ever read here. I don't do Online Dating, and never have. I shy away from social media in general, because in my opinion for the most part it is people trying to be something they are not. Which I can't stand. I find it a waste of energy

 

I think the thread has struck a nerve with people perhaps because it has sent a few on the defensive about what their interest and what their dating requirements are.

 

People are generally shallow anyway, it does not matter the gender. You simply were nice enough to relate your experience here, and again, by some of the responses it has touched a nerve. You have proven a point that no matter how much we protest and try to tell each other that looks do not matter, it still and will always be the one constant in romantic relationships. It does, and that's all there is to it.

 

I hope you get some more responses. Some of them thus far are a college level class in self delusion.

[katiegrl]

Did you realise I'm the original poster? The reason she hasn't seen my real picture is that she was messaging the fake profile I have up.

 

To be honest it'd be great if I could say to her: 'Hey we get on so well to be honest the stunningly hot guy you thought I was isn't really me I'm just an average guy' and she was to say 'Wow well I am so enamoured with your personality I'll overlook the fact that you're posting online from a deceitful profile'. But I live in the real world.

 

Oh come on, exaggerate much?

 

Yes I realize you are the OP.

 

But as I said, since you clicked with her, and said in real life, she could very well go for you, tell her, again, for privacy reasons, that was not your real pic!

 

And send her the real you!

 

What do you have to lose....maybe she will surprise you and not care? And find you attractive....you DID say in real life, it could work between you, so again what the hell do you have to lose?

 

Do you enjoy being miserable and so down on yourself?....jesus.

[AverageJoe1986]

If I had to guess what is going on I think maybe that women find a far narrower range of men physically attractive based just on photos than men do women. I think this becomes greatly evened up IRL to the point where when you add demeanour, personality and confidence inot the mix then women find a far greater range of men attractive than men do women.

 

But online this is impossible to judge and so the vast majority of women are just chasing after a few men and because of the nature of the interaction are just not considering that these really hot men are also getting massaged by hundreds of other women. Therefore their limiting themselves to the (for the most part due to overwhelming choice) unavailable and then their profiles start to complain loudly about 'TimeWasters' and 'Catfish' etc.

Edited January 25, 2016 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

[AverageJoe1986]

Oh come on, exaggerate much?

 

Yes I realize you are the OP.

 

But as I said, since you clicked with her, and said in real life, she could very well go for you, tell her, again, for privacy reasons, that was not your real pic!

 

And send her the real you!

 

What do you have to lose....maybe she will surprise you and not care? And find you attractive....you DID say in real life, it could work between you, so again what the hell do you have to lose?

 

Do you enjoy being miserable and so down on yourself?....jesus.

 

No I'm not down on myself. I am not saying she will go: 'ugh I want the hot guy back'. I'm saying that outside of Hollywood movies, average guys doing really stupid things, getting unmasked and then the girl going: 'Oh I'm so glad I got to know the real you. I'll forget that you deceived me' is just a fantasy.

[frus69]

As a woman I say that 20% is fairly accurate. I walk on street and probably will see 2-3 attractive guys out of every 10 guys

And I have a guy friend says he only found maybe 20-30% women attractive as well

Edited January 25, 2016 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

[SwordofFlame]

There should be a version of okcupid that only allows women to message first to get the conversation going. Would sure as hell make online dating a whole lot more efficient for men.

[smackie9]

There should be a version of okcupid that only allows women to message first to get the conversation going. Would sure as hell make online dating a whole lot more efficient for men.

There would be very few women sighing up. The majority of women want to be pursued so they know they are valued by the pursuer.

[AverageJoe1986]

OK Cupid did a study on this and found that the women they asked only found 20% of men attractive.

 

Doesn't surprise me.

 

The sad thing is that for the most part this fact really does make online dating a waste of time for a huge number of relatively normal, attractive people. The women who are complaining about time wasters have to realise that the men they are messaging are getting the attention from nearly all the other women on that site. Of course they are time wasters. They have their choice of dozens and dozens of prospects.

[frus69]

Doesn't surprise me.

 

The sad thing is that for the most part this fact really does make online dating a waste of time for a huge number of relatively normal, attractive people. The women who are complaining about time wasters have to realise that the men they are messaging are getting the attention from nearly all the other women on that site. Of course they are time wasters. They have their choice of dozens and dozens of prospects.

Time wasters for me are the ones who chase me, get with me then dump me. Not the ones who are honest and reject me.

You really can't call them time wasters simply because they are not attracted to you?

[AverageJoe1986]

Time wasters for me are the ones who chase me, get with me then dump me. Not the ones who are honest and reject me.

You really can't call them time wasters simply because they are not attracted to you?

 

I mean in the sense that I am currently chatting to about 20 different women on the site. If it were really me I would by now be getting serious (rather than just messing around and messaging complete nonsense) and having many in depth conversations. But to keep my options open (because I can) I will be dating them all and trying to assess which ones I want to see more of. I would then drop all but one of them if I found 1 I wanted. So the other 19 might think of me as a 'Time Waster' but really I was just making full use of my options.

[SwordofFlame]

There would be very few women sighing up. The majority of women want to be pursued so they know they are valued by the pursuer.

 

I suppose it's preferable to get 100s of messages from men, most of which are just asking for sex.

[SwordofFlame]

Why on Earth would women sign up for that?

 

I like it when people try out different experiments so they can learn how things are. This doesn't mean they should take the results and lament their fate. Instead, I think people should learn the rules of these things, so they can improve their chances. The game is the game.

 

My idea isn't 100% original. There is a version of Tinder, where women have to message first to get the conversation going. However, the man and woman still need to swipe right first to be able to do that. The app is called Bumble.

[AverageJoe1986]

I suppose it's preferable to get 100s of messages from men, most of which are just asking for sex.

 

To be honest my profile would do great on that. I get at least 5 messages an hour from new women.

 

Although none have been sexually explict yet.

[AverageJoe1986]

Women don't find men all that attractive but we still message the average ones.

 

Definitely not what I've found.

[frus69]

Definitely not what I've found.

That was the conclusion on that OKCupid website..

Edited January 25, 2016 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

[AverageJoe1986]

That was the conclusion on that OKCupid website..

 

Well I'll go with how many messages my average profile got in six months compared to how many my 'hot guy' profile has received in 2 days.

[Ami1uwant]

Have you even met anyone in person and they see you look nothing like your profile pics??.

 

The problem with online dating now is each sex tends to want to try and get what they can't get in real life...it could be looks or money.

[AverageJoe1986]

Have you even met anyone in person and they see you look nothing like your profile pics??.

 

The problem with online dating now is each sex tends to want to try and get what they can't get in real life...it could be looks or money.

 

No, I'm not doing it to meet people now. I was curious and like I said it's a lot of fun. I'll get bored of it soon and stop.

[AverageJoe1986]

Pure Gold:

 

Sara: Hey James. Lovely profile, have you had a nice weekend?

 

Me: Is it important for you that I have an interesting personality?

 

Sara: It is yes, as without personality there is nothing.

 

Me: I have no personality. I am slightly dead inside.

 

Sara: What?

 

Me: It's OK, I have this friend who isn't very good looking but he's great fun. I'll get him to message you.

 

Sara:I messaged you bcos I like you???

 

Me: I know but I'm just lookiing for meaningless sex. My friend is great.

 

Sara: No sorry I'm wanting a hot guy.

 

Me: Sorry I only date supermodels and sometimes professional dancers. And your profile said you're not interested in meaningless sex. That's the only type of sex I want.

 

Sara: I want to rip your clothes off. I don't mind meaningless sex.

 

Me: No but I only like models.

 

Sara: You are shallow

 

Me: We both are

 

Sara: Well yes I am but I'm honest about it.

 

Me: So am I. I'll get my friend to message you anyway. He looks like Columbo.

 

Sara: F**k off!!

[Ami1uwant]

How LD are the women? What are there age range?

[AverageJoe1986]

How LD are the women? What are there age range?

 

Between 25-40

 

What is LD?

[AverageJoe1986]

<Moderation note: This meta-discussion about one member's experience was moved from a more general thread to a discussion of its own>

 

A woman the other day was posting here about not getting responses from OLD, and people began to tell her- well, you're probably just not that attractive. Mediocre at best. Women feel the same pressure, if not more, to be perfect and look beautiful- in the real world, and online. Do we really need to even have this conversation? How much money is spent in the beauty industry for women versus men? Please don't make me google these figures, just accept that women work much much harder than men do to look attractive.

 

And also, I go out with men who I don't think are particularly attractive, so long as I think they have something else to offer. If they're really funny, or have an interesting career, or if we can strike up a good conversation. Most of my friends married men who they will admit they never were immediately attracted to, but the attraction grew over time. This has taught me not to be so judgmental about photos and profiles and try to look for substance.

 

The old LoveShack bubble. It seems that everywhere else in the world women care about looks, find conventionally handsome men attractive and judge OLD prospects primarily from their pics. Not on this site though. It's genuinely miraculous.

 

Anyway I've been conducting another little experiment online the last few days. I've reset my own profile up. Great profile message and good pics. I then set up another profile on another device with a great looking guy. Not quite the 9/10 I used before but a solid 8. Both had essentially the EXACT same profile with a few facts slightly changed. Then I waited for women to message the good looking guy, waited about 5-10 minutes and generally mirrored the length and type of message from my own profile. Then if I didn't get a response I would finally respond to the original message sent to the hot guy to see if they were at the pc/phone/tablet.

 

Now bearing in mind that I've been told over and over again that there must be something wrong with my profile blurb (exactly the same this time) or messages (mirroring the women's own style this time) and the style of my photos (again mirroring the hot guys this time), guess what the result of my experiment was???

 

Yes. My profile got ZERO responses.

 

And women online don't care about looks.

Edited February 5, 2016 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

[AMJ]

 

Anyway I've been conducting another little experiment online the last few days. I've reset my own profile up. Great profile message and good pics. I then set up another profile on another device with a great looking guy.

 

Let me get this straight. You have a fake profile just to see if women respond more positively to a better looking guy than yourself?

 

I knew people made fake profiles, I just haven't heard about this happening personally. Its surprising that someone would do this, because I feel resentful about the time I spend managing my OWN profile, but I do so because I want it to help me meet someone. Why, seriously- WHY- would you do this?

 

Yes, of course women are going to like the attractive guy more at first. Do you really need to go through this experiment to prove this? Everyone needs to just calm down about what they put on their profiles. I'm reading these posts and it's turning into a full-blown hysteria.

 

The most important part of OLD is the initial conversations you have with the people who decide whether or not they want to talk to you. When I say I give guys a chance, even if I don't think they're as physically attractive as I'd prefer, I mean it. I do give them a chance. Then we email, or text, and I decide if I want to go out with them.

 

If you're not getting enough opportunities to talk to women in the first place, you may just need to try talking to less attractive women- period. Sorry. Or join multiple dating sites. It's certainly more productive to widen your pool of potential women than it is to create a fake profile to determine if your headline or "about me" section is appealing.