Woman Interfereing In My Relatonship

[LongIsland]

I need some advice and insight. I am in a long distance relationship. My boyfriend lives in America and I live in Canada. We talked through text, email, phone, Facebook, and web cam for about 8 months before even meeting.

 

 

This man is a public figure and a well known professional athlete. We both also are personal trainers. So I finally met him in June 2014, after 8 months, but I only stayed with him for 3 days, then went back home. He called me back two weeks later to see him, I went back in July 2014.

 

 

So there is this very overweight, older woman that he met through an event. She says that she does coaching for people that want to be an entrepreneuer. I guess he confided in her, because he wanted coaching. This woman knows that he is my boyfriend, and she keeps interfering in my relationship.

 

 

When I left in 2014 to go back home there was an affair. Him and her. I got very, very upset and confronted her. She told me she called the police.

 

 

So anyways June come 2015. I went to go see him after us breaking up. It felt like a long 8 months. This woman found out that we were back together, and she started going on rants. She keep posting these crappy quotes on her social media about me and him. Things like "don't let your past bring you down" and the one that pissed me off the most was when she said I'm a weed, and she's a flower.

 

 

I stayed for 6 months. Last month I came back home. The whole time I was there she would be texting and calling him. I have messaged her over and over again to leave my boyfriend alone. She wont go away. I've told her to go away many, many times. He would never see her when I was there. She had the nerves to ask him to go away with her for 3 days while I was there.

 

 

Because of her me and my boyfriend would fight a lot. One time we got into a bad car accident fighting about her. She won't leave us alone. She gets so excited and happy when me and him fight.

 

 

Here is the worst part. On my way home last month as I crossed the border into Canada they told me that I was "under arrest"

 

 

I was very shocked and did not know what I did. The cops from my town came to get me, and told me that the woman called the police on me, and charged me with criminal harassment.

 

 

So now I am not allowed in his state till this is over, and I am stuck paying for lawyers. My boyfriend cut her off about two weeks ago for what she has done to me. He told me he has no contact with her. I have blocked her on my Facebook, but she has a fake profile and spies on us. She posted a pic holding up a big kitchen knife and saying psycho pose. This was a day after my court date. I expressed concerns to my boyfriend that if I return she could come at me with a gun or knife. Another friend said watch out for her.

 

 

She plays an angel, but she is very evil. I don't mean to put this out there. But I am young, pretty, and very petite. She is very jealous. She is jealous that my boyfriend loves me and never wanted her for more than anything else. She is still posting quotes about me and him. He says he does not look at what she posts. I believe him because I checked and he unfriended her.

 

 

Oh yeah before this he said to her he just wants to be friends, she won't accept it and leave us alone. Can somebody tell me if I'm tripping that this woman is obsessed with me and him?

 

 

What do I do? I want her gone forever.

Edited January 24, 2016 by LongIsland

[Phoenician]

I am sorry of what you are going through ...

 

but I believe that you are doing since begining a big mistake ,

you are allowing her to be inside your life , and by that i mean you are showing her that you are afraid of her ...

 

If I were you , i would concentrate on him ; if he is worth it he won't involve with any female but you .

 

but it seems that there are loopholes in your LTR other than just this woman.

 

that's my 5 cents ...

[almond]

This guy is playing you both for absolute fools.

[LongIsland]

He does show me off to everybody. No he cut her off and she is grieving. This is the type of woman that no man would give a second look to. She is very gruesome looking. He told everybody I'm his girlfriend. She lied to him for a year and a half she would help him with his business goals and it never happened.

[ExpatInItaly]

This guy is playing you both for absolute fools.

 

Yup.

 

OP, your boyfriend is a liar. if he loved you he would have cut her off a long time ago, especially after having an affair with her. But he didn't. Sorry, but this guy is a jerk and he's not in love with either of you. I think he's lying to both of you in a big way.

 

And now you could have a criminal record because of this? Get your self-worth back and cut this fool of a man out of your life.

[ExpatInItaly]

He does show me off to everybody. No he cut her off and she is grieving. This is the type of woman that no man would give a second look to. She is very gruesome looking. He told everybody I'm his girlfriend. She lied to him for a year and a half she would help him with his business goals and it never happened.

 

Clearly your boyfriend doesn't agree with that.

 

He likes her enough to have sex with her. She ain't that gruesome if he was able to go behind your back to be with her. Sorry but you're lying to yourself, girl.

[justwhoiam]

I need some advice and insight.

I'll try my best.

 

We talked through text, email, phone, Facebook, and web cam for about 8 months before even meeting.

What do you know about these 8 months? Who was he seeing? Affairs? One-night stands? FWBs? Dates? Have you ever asked the (tough) questions? Or is the deal more like "past is past, don't ask me about the past, as it doesn't matter"?

 

This man is a public figure and a well known professional athlete.

What part does that have in you being attracted to him? Did it play a role? And to what extent?

 

We both also are personal trainers. So I finally met him in June 2014, after 8 months

That means you met him for the first time in October 2013, right? How did you meet him exactly?

 

He called me back two weeks later to see him, I went back in July 2014.

First of all, why was it you flying to him the first time? Secondly, why did you fly to him again the second time? You didn't mention his age, but as you said you're young, and by your description it looks like he's well-established, a public figure and an athlete, then why couldn't he come not even for 48 hours?

 

So there is this very overweight, older woman

Can you define overweight? How much do you think she weighs? And how older is she compared to him?

 

she keeps interfering in my relationship.

Or you keep interfering with hers. As you can see, it depends on how you look at it, the point of view can change the dynamics a lot.

 

When I left in 2014 to go back home there was an affair. Him and her. I got very, very upset and confronted her.

I guess you did the wrong thing. She's a free person and can do whatever she wants. If your boyfriend is in a relationship, it's him who's not supposed to have other women on the side. In fact, there's a chance that he was not seeing just that woman you know, but probably others too, who though are more discreet.

 

She told me she called the police.

You underestimated that. As soon as you had been told that, you should have gone to the police and give your version of facts, and have your boyfriend to give statements too, as a witness. You might know 'ignorance of the law is no excuse'. Law followed its course.

 

So anyways June come 2015. I went to go see him after us breaking up. It felt like a long 8 months.

Sooo.... he had an affair (if the deal with him was even an exclusive relationship), you confronted her and then, for whatever reason, you two broke up. How were you in touch with him again? And how come it was you flying to him again for the third time? You didn't even let him do some kind of effort to have you, not to mention have you back.

 

This woman found out that we were back together, and she started going on rants. She keep posting these crappy quotes on her social media about me and him. Things like "don't let your past bring you down" and the one that pissed me off the most was when she said I'm a weed, and she's a flower.

In all of that, what was your boyfriend position? What did he do in practice?

 

I stayed for 6 months. Last month I came back home. The whole time I was there she would be texting and calling him.

Again, he was allowing that. He didn't take measures against that happening. He didn't call the police for harassment, which makes me think that she was not like the woman in Fatal Attraction. He wanted to be on good terms with both. Do you get it?

 

I have messaged her over and over again to leave my boyfriend alone. She wont go away. I've told her to go away many, many times.

This was wrong, do you understand that? It was him who had to take action, and he didn't. It looks like you were the intruder in her plans, getting back together with him after a long break up. You can't threat anyone to leave a third person alone, if that third person is fine with the current arrangement. Incidentally, what are you thoughts about this shellfish of a man? I wouldn't have spent a minute more with someone with the personality of an amoeba. Had he taken measures to stop the harassing, then it would have been different. I could have sided with him, despite the affair. But not while he has a foot in both camps, not when he's following two agendas that are incompatible with one another.

 

He would never see her when I was there.

I feel there's a good chance he did see her, behind your back, unless you can claim that you were with him 24/7 for 6 months.

 

She had the nerves to ask him to go away with her for 3 days while I was there.

Again, what was his reaction to that?

 

Because of her me and my boyfriend would fight a lot.

Wasn't that your clue that you should have packed up and leave? Why fight when he did want her in his life? And even if he was denying and claiming he did not, actions speak louder than words.

 

One time we got into a bad car accident fighting about her.

And with that, do you really think he will have positive memories about you two together?

 

now I am not allowed in his state till this is over, and I am stuck paying for lawyers.

Did your boyfriend offer to pay lawyers for you? Did he start charges against this woman? Is he doing anything at all?

 

My boyfriend cut her off about two weeks ago for what she has done to me. He told me he has no contact with her.

He should be freaking out. Anyway, again, this is just words. What did he actually do?

 

I have blocked her on my Facebook, but she has a fake profile and spies on us.

You mean she's in your friends list without you knowing? Get rid of people you don't know on your FB, and don't accept any new friendship from people you don't personally know. Don't allow friends of friends to see what's going on with you, and the same should do your "boyfriend".

 

But I am young, pretty, and very petite. She is very jealous. She is jealous that my boyfriend loves me and never wanted her for more than anything else.

1. One day you won't be young anymore, and not as pretty as you claim you are now. As these look like central elements in your life, it's very likely that you'll be jealous too, one day. Don't point your finger at anyone now, and maybe no one will be pointing their finger at you later on.

 

She is still posting quotes about me and him.

How do you know about this? If you blocked her? Please explain.

 

Can somebody tell me if I'm tripping that this woman is obsessed with me and him?

She is, but you must be obsessed too. Her contacts were always with him. You went one step forward getting in touch with her.

 

What do I do? I want her gone forever.

Well, it's a crappy situation. Have your boyfriend witness and side with you until you get rid of the criminal charges. Let the court know that she was harassing you so heavily, that it was becoming unbearable and so you decided to talk to her, thinking a woman to woman talk could solve things. But it didn't. Then, when the whole nightmare is over, dump him and don't look back. And the next time, be the prize, instead of throwing yourself at anyone.

 

He does show me off to everybody.

Many men have a sham girlfriend who can even become a wife. So don't be fooled by that.

 

This is the type of woman that no man would give a second look to.

I hope I won't be too crude here. Maybe she has other qualities. Maybe she's good in bed, or he likes to have places where to land his hands, which is something that you can't offer.

 

She is very gruesome looking.

As ExpatInItaly said, she was enough appealing to him to have sex with. You sound very naive.

[Fleur de cactus]

Your boyfriend loves drama , he is the one who should tell the ow to stay way and no you. Basically they continue to be friends or lovers and you are the one who interfere . It is not your role to tell that woman to stay away! If he is not interested in that woman he should block her long ago .

 

My question is why that man does not come to see you in Canada? He can visit you until your case straighten out in court.

 

Sorry you are in bad situation. Your bf is a player. Break up with him .

[moys]

I guarantee all your problems will go away once you dump your boyfriend.

[moys]

Clearly your boyfriend doesn't agree with that.

 

He likes her enough to have sex with her. She ain't that gruesome if he was able to go behind your back to be with her. Sorry but you're lying to yourself, girl.

 

Agreed. I really hate when women say **** like this about other women. He slept with her, she can't be that gruesome. It's your boyfriend who is the pathetic, cheating, gruesome one.

[LongIsland]

All I did was came on here for advice. No she is not on my Facebook, she spies on his with a fake profile. He's got 5000 friends who knows which one she is. How else am I supposed to tell her to back off without messaging her? When I said she is gruesome, I mean she is very short and weighs 300 lbs, not a pretty face at all. She is ten years older than him.

 

 

I am not interfering in her life. She is posting **** about us online. He cannot leave America to come and see me, he has a DUI. I don't care what status he has. I'm attracted to him. I'm gonna say this again, and be very, very blunt. He used her ass. It serves her right! He just chucked her when he was done. He never wanted more with her. He told her from day 1 he only wants to be friends. If I never left, he would of never cheated. His profession is professional MMA fighter.

 

 

I'm not the posting quotes continuously on my Facebook or whatever about her. She is very distraught he ditched her, even the friendship they had. She is still crying about it. How could he have given statements when I got arrested while trying to get back home, and we did not know this would happen. He has told her many times he just wants to be friends, and she can't accept it. Too late for statements when the cops already talked to me upon arrest.

 

 

She claims to the police she is afraid of me, but yet showed up at his workplace while I was there, parked right beside my car, and walked in. Next morning and every morning scratches all over my car.

[LongIsland]

I can tell some are offended by my statement of her being overweight. Sorry even bigger girls told me she is nasty. Not just me. He used her. What can I say? That's what happens when you spread your legs. Heard through the grapevine she has a thing for real young men. She picks up homeless male youths, gives them a little cash, and gets whatever. Oh God, I'm getting sick thinking about how nasty she is. My man said he only likes thin women. She was just there. This happened when we first met. She is also very jealous that I can have kids and she is barren. My guy said on Facebook in the future he wants us to. It hurts her. Not my problem, and I don't actually care for what she did to me. Karma is REAL. That's why he's gone, and she is grieving.

Edited January 25, 2016 by LongIsland

[CarrieT]

Regardless of her weight, he cheated on you.

 

So maybe this is not a relationship worth salvaging if he is so willing to stray with someone "so gruesome" just because "she was there."

[ExpatInItaly]

You need higher standards, OP.

 

This guy is a tool. I wouldn't give him the time of day. Why do you? I'm sure you aren't that desperate.

 

And sadly, she's not the only one he used.

[bigbaby]

Oh my.

 

 

First, don't fight with her anymore or talk to her or in any way contact her, respond to her, provoke her, look at any of her social media, or even think about her.

 

 

I can just picture your alleged boyfriend puffing up and feeling like the great big man to have two women fighting over him. Your issue is with HIM. Not her. Ever. You're not even his wife and you are going around ready to fight any woman who gets near him? On what grounds, exactly? If she approaches your boyfriend and he goes for it, well, that's the free will of two adults and however much you don't like it, in the real world you don't have a thing to say about it. Your issue is with him only, always.

 

 

Listen, I completely, totally understand the feeling. But you need to conduct yourself like a lady or you will only look like a buffoon and amuse everyone with your crazy jealous antics. What I think you're missing is that all that makes YOU look quite desperate. Stop that right now!

 

 

Now, this boyfriend. If he is the type who would lead an unattractive woman who has no chance with him on, for business help and for sex, rather than gloating that she deserved it I think you need to step back a little farther and tell me what you see about HIS character. He's a user? He sleeps with anyone? Right. Please get an STD check right away!

 

 

HE cheated on you. With her. He has a DUI. Gee, what a fabulous catch you've got there. Not!

 

 

I think LDRs are really kind of not very smart anyway. If you are the cute girl you say you are, why on earth must you go to another country for a boyfriend when there are zillions of eligible bachelors right in your back yard?

 

 

Online, I've heard time after time after time how women thought they knew some guy oh-so-well because they texted, emailed, called, whatever, all the time. And you know what? In the end they often got a big shock and realized they didn't know him at all. They only knew the persona he cared to project long distance.

 

 

I suggest you get rid of this clown and meet guys locally. Good luck.

[bigbaby]

Also, don't put up with a bunch of crap just because some guy has money or status. That doesn't mean he's a good person, won't make you happy, and is really about the same as being a prostitute, isn't it?

 

 

You don't need a rich man, you need a GOOD man!

[VeveCakes]

You can enter Canada with a DUI. He's lying about that one too.

[CTRL C]

As someone with connections to MMA fighters and gyms, let me just say that most trainers I've met would give this guy a good whooping for his drama building and disrespectful behavior.

 

Honor is very important, both within and without the fighting ring. The blockheads and the a**holes may win some purses, get some fans, but are never held in very high regard by their peers.

 

Might be worthwhile considering taking a leaf from their book.

[justwhoiam]

He cannot leave America to come and see me, he has a DUI.

Check his criminal records, just for good measures.

 

He used her ass. It serves her right! He just chucked her when he was done.

And you're attracted to a man using a woman for anal sex. He's a real catch.

 

She picks up homeless male youths, gives them a little cash, and gets whatever. Oh God, I'm getting sick thinking about how nasty she is.

But you don't get sick thinking about him in her, or him possibly passing you some disease. Totally sick.

[LongIsland]

You need higher standards, OP.

 

This guy is a tool. I wouldn't give him the time of day. Why do you? I'm sure you aren't that desperate.

 

Yeah well at least I'm not the one chasing down a man that doesn't want me. this woman is a homewrecker.

[LongIsland]

I always protect myself with sex. We already checked into this if you are going to USa you can enter with DUI. You cannot have any criminal record and enter Canada.

[LongIsland]

Also, don't put up with a bunch of crap just because some guy has money or status. That doesn't mean he's a good person, won't make you happy, and is really about the same as being a prostitute, isn't it?

 

 

You don't need a rich man, you need a GOOD man!

 

 

Lol. I don't ask any man for anything. When a guy wants to pay for things I say I can pay it myself. I did come from a family that is fine financially.

[LongIsland]

Your boyfriend loves drama , he is the one who should tell the ow to stay way and no you. Basically they continue to be friends or lovers and you are the one who interfere . It is not your role to tell that woman to stay away! If he is not interested in that woman he should block her long ago .

 

I only interfered because as soon as she found out I came back to him, she was messaging him like crazy for him to get rid of me. She even snooped through my Facebook and stole posts, and would show him to try and turn him against me. She made a fake profile, contacted a friend of mine, and asked for my contact info.

 

 

She stole some womens picture (a model), and pretended that she was a model recruiter looking for ring girls for a New Jersey fight. My friend didn't know any better and gave her my number. After my info was given the fake account was deleted. While I was there the whole time she interfered in my relationship. You know I've left, and even after I left he cut ties with her. He's never went to hang out with her once!

[LongIsland]

As someone with connections to MMA fighters and gyms, let me just say that most trainers I've met would give this guy a good whooping for his drama building and disrespectful behavior.

 

Honor is very important, both within and without the fighting ring. The blockheads and the a**holes may win some purses, get some fans, but are never held in very high regard by their peers.

 

Might be worthwhile considering taking a leaf from their book.

 

 

Maybe you know him. Lol

[LongIsland]

You can enter Canada with a DUI. He's lying about that one too.

 

Check up on your info. You can't!