LookAtThisPOst Posted December 3, 2015 Share Posted December 3, 2015 (edited) I was chatting to a guy on Tinder last night that I found cute and funny (no height on there) Then.... He said "you look really tall on your pics, how tall are you?" I was like "5'8", why?" Him: "I need to disclose something..hope you are not turned off" Me:"???" Him: "I am 5'8" tall too and I know women don't date guys that are their height or shorter so..." and he went on and on. I stopped responding not because of his height but because I found the whole conversation and major turn off. If it wasn't for that, I would have met him in person without knowing his height... Well, I would want to clarify if height is an issue with a woman before wasting my time meeting her in person, as I know a LOT of women that see height as a priority when it comes to online dating. I mean, I won't go "on and on" about it, but I'll say something like, "I'm 5'8", too, hope that's okay?" If she says, "yes," then I'll move forward with asking her out, if not, then I'll move on. I had a situation like that happen with me, but for some reason the woman who responded to my email to didn't look at my pictures...which I found odd, but was willing to talk onthe phone with me and then set upa date in person. Anyhow, after we firmed our plans at the end of our conversation, she asked me to text her my picture...I'm assuming to see if she could recognize me to find me at the restaurant in person. I was getting showered up, dressed, and texted her, "I'm on my way now" only to have her say, "I'm not feeling well, going to have to cancel, sorry." I said, "oh okay, hope you feel better." Few days later I texted her, "Hope your feeling better, shall we reschedule?" No response. So chances are she saw the pic I texted her, went "ew" and all of a sudden "got sick." lol It's online dating, so there are some things that are important to get out of the way before even meeting. Height and knowing what they look like before meeting face-to-face is probably the biggies. Keep in mind, Eternal Sunshine, that he was probably getting used to being rejected by taller women, so he just wanted to make sure. If he was dwelling about it further, I could understand it bveing a turn off. I just try to clarify, "I'm 5'8", still want to meet?" and be done. Two of the most attractive and charismatic men I have met in my life were only 5'8". And yet...you never dated them? Yes? No? Unfortunately, if I saw them on an OLD site, I would pass them over. In OLD, stats are everything. And 5'8" usually means 5'6". Of course you would, it's online dating, but you kind of contradict yourself saying that you were okay with a man you met on Tinder that was 5'8"? I'm confused. lol I stopped responding not because of his height but because I found the whole conversation and major turn off. If it wasn't for that, I would have met him in person without knowing his height... So on Tinder you'd be willing to meet with them, if not on Tinder, then not at all? Wait, you would have met him in person WITHOUT knowing his height, but yet on a dating site that displays the height plainly, you'd pass them over? Wow, I'm really confused now. LOL Not making fun, just sayin' Edited December 3, 2015 by LookAtThisPOst Link to post Share on other sites
Versacehottie Posted December 3, 2015 Share Posted December 3, 2015 I was chatting to a guy on Tinder last night that I found cute and funny (no height on there) Then.... He said "you look really tall on your pics, how tall are you?" I was like "5'8", why?" Him: "I need to disclose something..hope you are not turned off" Me:"???" Him: "I am 5'8" tall too and I know women don't date guys that are their height or shorter so..." and he went on and on. I stopped responding not because of his height but because I found the whole conversation and major turn off. If it wasn't for that, I would have met him in person without knowing his height... Yup, your real life example illustrates my point. HE had a hang up about it. He was already making headway with his good personality (and probably his looks in a pic). You had no reason to reject him up until that point until he gave you one with a height that generally you would be on fence about coupled with insecurity about it. If your guy went on and on to explain it away or like it was an issue, it is virtually the same as sulking away and avoid the question like it's an issue. The only way to deal with something that you are insecure about (ie this guy and his height or his perceived acceptance of it by others) is head-on and briefly or non-chalantly. Make it a non-issue. You might be faking it a bit (because you are really nervous) the first few times but after that you will realize it's the best way. Thanks for the timely and on-point example. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Versacehottie Posted December 3, 2015 Share Posted December 3, 2015 I can't say I entirely blame "taller women" , when I say that, I mean a woman that's taller than the average woman's height which is probably 5'8" or taller. 5'8" is tall for a woman. But if I meet a woman that is like 5'4", but counts here heels as part of that, which she says, "Well, I am 5'4", but I wear 4-inch heels, so I expect my man to be much taller . ie - 6 feet. When women start doing the math on their heel length to account for their natural height, that's just plan shallow. "I want man to be taller than me...while I'm in heels!" I mean...really? Seriously? Question, though, would you "care" if the 5'4" girl wore heels? I definitely know some girls defer to not wearing them so not to look out of sync with their guys. Some of that is their own doing and other times it's influenced by the guy. I once was set up with a guy by my close friend and before our date he asked me how tall I was. I don't remember if I knew how tall he was specifically but I knew he was a surfer and a lot of them are not that tall so I think i assumed he was on the shorter side. In the first 10-15 minutes of our date as we were walking into a restaurant, all of sudden he says to me, I thought said you were xx tall? Like totally accusatory. It was actually hilarious. I just bounced it right back at him because I did state my height accurately to him--sorry I didn't run my footwear options by you first! He and I had a good little banter about it where i was teasing him and he took it well, which was a plus for him in the personality column. But it could have gone totally wrong. While we had a fun date, I didn't really think he was bf material to me so I didn't keep dating him. We survived (i think) that little height bump and it's not the reason (either for the height itself or his hangup about) I didn't like him as a bf but I swear I could tell when that happened I felt like I would probably have to change part of me to make him comfortable if we did end up as a couple. That's no bueno, bra'. If there was enough there, I probably would have made the leap and the effort to see how things unfolded because it's a minor issue when it's the right person, but there was a hint that it could become a major issue or that I would be stifled into not being who I am. Link to post Share on other sites
MiddleManMike Posted December 3, 2015 Share Posted December 3, 2015 Im 6'3" In real life and on dating sites......... I like taller gals but height has never been a thing for me, its all about personality and nonbitchyness 1 Link to post Share on other sites
LookAtThisPOst Posted December 3, 2015 Share Posted December 3, 2015 (edited) Question, though, would you "care" if the 5'4" girl wore heels? I would not care in the least. At ALL. It's insignificant. It's interesting how some women (not saying you, Versace) kind of turn it around on the guy thinking the guy, who doesn't care about height, will probably STILL care about the height difference. "I'm tall, and most short men like you don't want tall women to date." And I'm thinking, "What makes YOU think I know what I want?!" You have a crystal ball in your purse? LOL Edited December 3, 2015 by LookAtThisPOst Link to post Share on other sites
Versacehottie Posted December 3, 2015 Share Posted December 3, 2015 I would not care in the least. At ALL. It's insignificant. It's interesting how some women (not saying you, Versace) kind of turn it around on the guy thinking the guy, who doesn't care about height, will probably STILL care about the height difference. "I'm tall, and most short men like you don't want tall women to date." And I'm thinking, "What makes YOU think I know what I want?!" You have a crystal ball in your purse? LOL Oh yeah, I agree that in the OP's situation, his girl probably has a hang up about her own height--and that's what she could have been referring to (her own feelings about). Interestingly, OP didn't really pose that as a option for what could be going on. Most people worry that they've done something wrong or ARE something wrong. The beginning stages of dating leave people vulnerable. And yeah that's exactly why he kinda should have just asked briefly and barreled through the height line of questioning. His question to her alone presumed she would have an issue with it, then she just gave a fact that she was 5'11" (maybe it was a loaded response, maybe not) and things spun out of control there. Maybe it would just be safer to assume if she is talking to him that he as a package has the goods to turn it into a date and so on and so forth. And vice versa for her. #deepthoughts Link to post Share on other sites
salparadise Posted December 3, 2015 Share Posted December 3, 2015 I live in a college town, so I see all sorts of younger women in the grocery stores. Not too long ago I used to see this gorgeous, blonde haired, blue-eyed gal who was in 6' 5-6-7" territory, and she carried herself gracefully and confidently. I wondered if she was there on a basketball or volleyball scholarship. She would sometimes make eye-contact and smile (innocently) and I'd think, if only I was 30 years younger I'd have to make a play for her. But I could never understand why other times I'd see her in the store and she would avoid eye-contact completely. Then one day I got the answer... there were two of them, yup, identical twins! I bet dating is as hard for them as it is for short guys––I bet most average-height guys would have a hard time dealing with a woman that tall. But those two sure did stir up some fantasies in my demented mind My girlfriend is 5'8" and loves to wear heels. She says it's nice being with me because she can wear her tallest heels and I'm still taller. Her ex was about the same height as her, so even though she still wore heels sometimes, she'd avoid the taller ones. I guess you could say that I'm particular- I insist that women be between 4'10" and around 6' 5-6-7" before I'd consider dating them. Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted December 3, 2015 Share Posted December 3, 2015 Women who are 6' have less dating options than a guy that is 6', no different than a guy that is 5'4'' has less dating option than a woman that is 5'4". It is what it is. Link to post Share on other sites
truth_seeker Posted December 3, 2015 Share Posted December 3, 2015 Two of the most attractive and charismatic men I have met in my life were only 5'8". Unfortunately, if I saw them on an OLD site, I would pass them over. In OLD, stats are everything. And 5'8" usually means 5'6". OLD is ALL ABOUT STATS. This is what people want when it comes to OLD: Women want: Tall (6'0+) Dark (Tanned) and Handsome (Tom Brady) bonus: makes 100k+ (Doctor, Lawyer, Successful Business Man). Men want: Beautiful (great face) and thin (not fat). Bonus: isn't a flake and doesn't have some form of addiction. Link to post Share on other sites
LookAtThisPOst Posted December 3, 2015 Share Posted December 3, 2015 Women who are 6' have less dating options than a guy that is 6', no different than a guy that is 5'4'' has less dating option than a woman that is 5'4". It is what it is. Yeah, I just saw a woman 5'11, said in her profile she said "I prefer tall, for obvious reasons...6'1" or taller." The downside, she lives in a backwater town with a small population, so I took a shot at contacting her regardless of what she specified in her profile only because her dating options are VERY limited in an area that's prominently either married couples or retirees. She would likely need to open spread her net geographically to the nearest major city, which is an hour away. But she has "near me" for her geographic options. Oh wait, just saw she's an atheist, man she's really screwed in THIS town that's mostly church going Bible beaters. Link to post Share on other sites
shoplocal Posted December 3, 2015 Share Posted December 3, 2015 Women who are 6' have less dating options than a guy that is 6', no different than a guy that is 5'4'' has less dating option than a woman that is 5'4". It is what it is. Even slim women who present themselves attractively??? I have a 6' tall friend who is beautiful, but often single. It makes no sense to me that a slim (like, size 4) attractive woman would be single. She rarely wears heels...but she's definitely tall. Link to post Share on other sites
soph-walker Posted January 25, 2016 Share Posted January 25, 2016 Ladies/Gents Does a person's height matter to you when dating and if so, why? Link to post Share on other sites
lilmissjava Posted January 25, 2016 Share Posted January 25, 2016 I am 5'10" and I haven't the opportunity to have dated or have relationships with someone who was shorter, so I suppose that my preference is same height or taller. I am above average so this preference discounts a lot of average guys in my dating pool. Link to post Share on other sites
CTRL C Posted January 25, 2016 Share Posted January 25, 2016 Not particularly. I mean, I prefer a guy to be eye level or taller, but otherwise I have no preference on specific metrics like minimum 6'0" or anything like that. Why? Probably just because that's what I'm accustomed to. Of course, at barely 5'4" the odds of the guy checking off the "taller than me" preference are very much in my favor Link to post Share on other sites
Toodaloo Posted January 25, 2016 Share Posted January 25, 2016 No. Because its not a mans height that makes him a man. I have tended to date taller men on the whole but it doesn't bother me at all. It does bother me when guys get worked up about it and make an issue about it. We are supposed to be having fun not banging on about insecurities right? It also bothers me when men lie about it. Not because of the actual height but because of the blatant fib. If he is comfortable saying he is 6ft 2 and when you meet him he is only 5ft 2 it also causes issues with identifying your date! Yes this has happened! Shortest was 5ft4 (inch shorter than me) tallest was 7ft2. Recently I seem to be going around the 5ft7 - 5ft11 mark. No reason just how its working out. Of the last three guys I met, and got a bit hooked on, one was 5ft10 (dark hair blue eyes), one was 5ft7 (Ginger blue eyes) and current is about 5ft8 or 9 (another Ginger with blue eyes)... I guess you could say I have a thing for blue eyes rather than height! None have had a problem with me wearing heals when out with them and neither have I!!! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
LookAtThisPOst Posted January 25, 2016 Share Posted January 25, 2016 I am 5'10" and I haven't the opportunity to have dated someone who was shorter. Of course you had the opportunity. They probably asked you out, but you turned them down. ;-) lol Anyhow, I could understand how an already tall woman (5'10") would \want taller men. BUT...I sometimes meet short women, lilke 5'3", 5'4" seen a couple of profiles..one said, "I wear 5" heels, so you must be 5'10" or taller! I feel short a couple inches to an already short woman's height requirement. When you start factoring heels to your already SHORT stature...that's pretty shallow. Link to post Share on other sites
kodakgirl Posted January 25, 2016 Share Posted January 25, 2016 Nope, doesn't matter. I'm 5'2" and if I found a fellow attractive and compatible, I'd date him whether he was 5'0" or 6'5". My boyfriend, who's 5'8" is the same, with strong evidence--he has an ex who's 6'2". The height difference never bothered him nor her. Link to post Share on other sites
bigbaby Posted January 25, 2016 Share Posted January 25, 2016 I prefer the man to be taller but I wouldn't automatically not consider someone based on that alone (except that I'm married now so I don't date at all). I think it's not good for people to think they won't be preferred just because they have this trait or that trait that doesn't seem to be the most sought after. After all, we all come as a whole package and height is only one of many, many factors. If you're attracted to someone or, later, love them, then you prefer whatever traits they have because it's them. In fact, I have a special tender spot for my husband's less-than-most-sought-after characteristics. Oh gross, I'm getting sappy. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
StBreton Posted January 25, 2016 Share Posted January 25, 2016 I'm 5'6" ...I've typically dated guys who were taller than me :..but all those guys picked me to date. I didn't turn down a guy due to his height ...it was always his personality ...he had to be strong. My preference is for someone a few inches taller so 5'8" and above. My H was 6'3" ...when I look at pix he looks so tall. When kissing it's better to be closer in height...at least for me. Link to post Share on other sites
lilmissjava Posted January 25, 2016 Share Posted January 25, 2016 Of course you had the opportunity. They probably asked you out, but you turned them down. ;-) lol I have never been asked out by a guy that was shorter. I have had three serious relationships in my life. In the breaks between relationships, my "special friend" is taller by 3 inches. In my 6 months on OLD (currently taking a winter break), the two guys that I did date were an inch taller than I. The other "prospects" just never got past the messaging stage. I don't wear heels so I never factor that when dating. So I honestly wouldn't know if it would bother me or not if a guy I was dating was shorter than I. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
smudge21 Posted January 25, 2016 Share Posted January 25, 2016 Personally I'd go for someone shorter than myself, but not too short. Nor would I want someone close to my height (6'2). However, we're all different and go for different things. All that said, even though it's usually the outside of a person that gets that initial spark, it's what's on the inside that keeps the fire going. Link to post Share on other sites
StBreton Posted January 25, 2016 Share Posted January 25, 2016 OP ...if you're wondering ...there are woman who will marry a guy for his physical characteristics like height or intelligence or earning capacity. I see it all the time. The woman might not truly be in love with the man. Very sad. These woman may be driven to choose a partner that will give the best quality offspring ...we humans and all animals are programmed that way. But most of the time, woman marry for love. Are you having problems finding someone and feel your height is an issue? I know of a few guy posters on this forum who are less than 5'8" and have girlfriends ... Height doesn't hold every woman back. Link to post Share on other sites
CTRL C Posted January 25, 2016 Share Posted January 25, 2016 BUT...I sometimes meet short women, lilke 5'3", 5'4" seen a couple of profiles..one said, "I wear 5" heels, so you must be 5'10" or taller! I feel short a couple inches to an already short woman's height requirement. When you start factoring heels to your already SHORT stature...that's pretty shallow. People actually factor in the shoes they wear when looking for a date? I'd think if anything they'd be happy not to crane their neck every once in a while. Link to post Share on other sites
TheArtist Posted January 25, 2016 Share Posted January 25, 2016 Gah, I hate that, 'Thou shalt not contact me unless thou is 7'5"' garbage. I'll gladly consider most heights, but when it starts nearing more than a foot either way then it does start to feel a bit like I'm in a sideshow. People throwing peanuts and telling me to dance and all that stuff. It's like being back in my old office job. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
bluefairy812 Posted January 25, 2016 Share Posted January 25, 2016 Ladies/Gents Does a person's height matter to you when dating and if so, why? to be honest, i prefer a tall man. but it's not one of those deal breakers for me. my ex was my height and i was certainly taller than him in heels. my current boyfriend is a tad taller than me now, i'm 5'5, he's 5'8, and when i wear heels we are the same height. does it feel awkward to date a short guy? absolutely. but if he's amazing, why would height stop a person from enjoying another awesome person? Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts