Jejangles Posted January 25, 2016 Share Posted January 25, 2016 I'm 5.9 and a half and I prefer a guy who is at most 1 inch shorter than me, but ideally my height or taller. Having said that, I have been attracted to guys in the past who were significantly shorter than me, but it usually follows that I got to know them and then was attracted... Which doesn't really work with online dating. For me, it's totally a self confidence thing - I'm average size but if I'm with a guy who is short and slim I feel like a giant / huge. Link to post Share on other sites
William Posted January 25, 2016 Share Posted January 25, 2016 Morning folks, Another moderator reported this thread for inclusion in our consolidated thread on this subject but I found that to be too old, too many posts and closed so we'll consolidate general postings on height into this thread moving forward. Members can feel free to start threads specific to their own dating interactions in threads about the dating interaction. If you're dating a specific person and height is an issue for you or them and your relationship, and you wish advice or input about that relationship, start a thread on it. Otherwise, if simply sharing opinion and general experience, this is the place. We'll occasionally merge threads into this one as found. Thanks! Link to post Share on other sites
mike_89 Posted January 25, 2016 Share Posted January 25, 2016 Height does matter, even if just for practicalities. I would never want to date a girl taller than me and if the difference is like a foot it's not exactly practical, it gives me neck pain to talk to someone so short for a prolonged time. It's pretty funny to date someone small though, my entire family is pretty tall (all men are 6'2 to 6'10) and my ex was 5'4, every family photo with my family she looked like a dwarf and every photo with her family I'd literally be a head taller than everybody else. Link to post Share on other sites
Michelle ma Belle Posted January 25, 2016 Share Posted January 25, 2016 I'm 5'4" so most men tend to be taller than me, thankfully. As a rule, I do prefer to date tall men (min 5'10) but that hasn't always been the case. At the same time, I'd have a very hard time dating a man shorter than 5'8". I like them to tower over me especially since I'm a woman who loves her heels. It's a preference but I do pride myself on being open minded when it comes to people and chemistry. You just never know. Link to post Share on other sites
soph-walker Posted January 25, 2016 Share Posted January 25, 2016 For me, it's totally a self confidence thing - I'm average size but if I'm with a guy who is short and slim I feel like a giant / huge. I've experienced this lately, I'm slim but 5'8 and I feel like a towering giant if I'm with a guy (date) who's either the same height or an inch shorter. It's not about the guy not being a man if they're not a certain height, more how I feel in myself. It's something I've tried to change in myself, but I really do find men taller than me very attractive..it's completely silly, but I feel 'protected' around a taller guy. I just don't know how much I should keep entertaining this need of mine. It's good to see it's not an issue for most though. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
TheArtist Posted January 25, 2016 Share Posted January 25, 2016 It's something I've tried to change in myself, but I really do find men taller than me very attractive..it's completely silly, but I feel 'protected' around a taller guy. Not silly at all I don't think. When I hug a girl who is a good few inches shorter than me, it feels like I'm protecting her more so than a taller girl. I think OLD has played a part in this height thing though. It used to be that you could approach a girl who was sitting down, get chatting, ask her out, then later realise she was standing up the whole time, but it doesn't matter because you like her personality. Now some OLD profiles won't even entertain talking to someone who isn't their ideal height to the inch. Silly. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
MissBee Posted January 25, 2016 Share Posted January 25, 2016 Ladies/Gents Does a person's height matter to you when dating and if so, why? Height is not a deal breaker for me. It's not one of the top things I concern myself with personally. Sure, I like a man who is taller than me. I'm 5'3 1/2, it's usually not that hard. I really like a man who is taller than me by more than a few inches, typically. But I prioritize other qualities. If I am attracted to him and enjoy his personality etc. then I'm not going to turn him away because of height. The shortest guy I've dated was probably around 5'7 or so, but looks wise he was probably one of the most conventionally attractive, he also had a very nice body, lots of women liked him and his height posed no issues for him. Link to post Share on other sites
AnnieRose Posted January 25, 2016 Share Posted January 25, 2016 5'10, no height preference at all. Seems a bit silly to me to have one. Obviously because I'm tall for a woman, so having one would greatly decrease my dating pool, but even if I was shorter it wouldn't matter! Bf is 5'6 and I love him. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
soph-walker Posted January 25, 2016 Share Posted January 25, 2016 5'10, no height preference at all. Seems a bit silly to me to have one. Obviously because I'm tall for a woman, so having one would greatly decrease my dating pool, but even if I was shorter it wouldn't matter! Bf is 5'6 and I love him. I feel shallow by comparison. I've been on two dates with a great guy who's about 2 inches shorter than me and I can't shake the feeling that I could pick him up and swaddle him like a newborn! I don't know if it's me but it feels like an elephant in the room, I don't know if he's wishing I was shorter (or him taller haha) or if it's me just assuming. I've dated shorter guys before and just haven't been able to shake the feeling of being a giant. It's not as though I'm 6'0 or very very tall, but I would so like to be with a taller guy, gah! Link to post Share on other sites
Jejangles Posted January 25, 2016 Share Posted January 25, 2016 I've experienced this lately, I'm slim but 5'8 and I feel like a towering giant if I'm with a guy (date) who's either the same height or an inch shorter. It's not about the guy not being a man if they're not a certain height, more how I feel in myself. It's something I've tried to change in myself, but I really do find men taller than me very attractive..it's completely silly, but I feel 'protected' around a taller guy. I just don't know how much I should keep entertaining this need of mine. It's good to see it's not an issue for most though. Yep, totally the same for me. I think it's social conditioning - it's "normal" for the guy to be bigger / stronger and the woman smaller / more petite. It's not just about height though - I dated a tall (6 feet plus) guy in the summer who was super skinny, like feel all his bones skinny, and I still felt large next to him. So my ideal is a similar or taller height, similar build guy! I'm trying to get over it as well, and be more open. I fully recognise it as my own issue rather than anything to do with the guys around me. I think I spend too much time worrying about what society and the people around me think of the guy I'm dating, rather than my own thoughts and feelings. Link to post Share on other sites
AnnieRose Posted January 25, 2016 Share Posted January 25, 2016 I feel shallow by comparison. I've been on two dates with a great guy who's about 2 inches shorter than me and I can't shake the feeling that I could pick him up and swaddle him like a newborn! I don't know if it's me but it feels like an elephant in the room, I don't know if he's wishing I was shorter (or him taller haha) or if it's me just assuming. I've dated shorter guys before and just haven't been able to shake the feeling of being a giant. It's not as though I'm 6'0 or very very tall, but I would so like to be with a taller guy, gah! I've always felt that the height thing was more about the woman and her insecurities than anything else. I don't think it's shallow if you recognize it and are trying to get over it! It is social conditioning like the poster above me wrote. Society says the man has to be taller. But I don't see it that way. My guy is masculine, probably the most masculine man I've ever met, so feeling "protected" is not an issue! I always look at it like this - finding a great guy is hard, especially these days. Am I really going to let a great guy go because I'm taller??? Makes no sense! Not to me at least. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
truth_seeker Posted January 25, 2016 Share Posted January 25, 2016 Does it matter? To some, yes. To everyone? No. You're attracted to who you're attracted to... can't help it. Just like you can't help who you fall in love with... Link to post Share on other sites
AverageJoe1986 Posted January 25, 2016 Share Posted January 25, 2016 (edited) It's something I've tried to change in myself, but I really do find men taller than me very attractive..it's completely silly, but I feel 'protected' around a taller guy. It's a similar thing with many men and weight. I find it hard to be attracted to a woman who is more than a size 8 (which I think is a Size 4 in America). Above that it just feels a bit manly. Edited January 25, 2016 by AverageJoe1986 Link to post Share on other sites
katiegrl Posted January 25, 2016 Share Posted January 25, 2016 I've always felt that the height thing was more about the woman and her insecurities than anything else. I don't think it's shallow if you recognize it and are trying to get over it! It is social conditioning like the poster above me wrote. Society says the man has to be taller. But I don't see it that way. My guy is masculine, probably the most masculine man I've ever met, so feeling "protected" is not an issue! I always look at it like this - finding a great guy is hard, especially these days. Am I really going to let a great guy go because I'm taller??? Makes no sense! Not to me at least. I agree with this, and yes when I was younger (late teens, early 20s) and less secure with myself, I too, only sought out taller men.... as if somehow they would protect me from the big bad world out there.... and shorter men could not....which I have discovered is NOT the case. I know tall guys (6 feet +) who are utter WIMPS ... who wouldn't know how to protect a fly if their life depended on it. On the other hand, a shorter guy , who is a confident, take charge guy with an assertive personality, hands down, could do the job better than a wimpy taller guy. Yeah unfortunately society has brainwashed many women into believing that a taller guy is more masculine... and will, in turn, make her feel more feminine. What a bunch of BS. Masculinity comes from WITHIN, not from how tall or short he is, or how he looks on the outside... It took me many years to learn this.... but learn it I did, and I am glad I did...because now that I am dating again....this attitude provides me with many more options when looking for a SO to connect with. Link to post Share on other sites
katiegrl Posted January 26, 2016 Share Posted January 26, 2016 (edited) Does it matter? To some, yes. To everyone? No. You're attracted to who you're attracted to... can't help it. Just like you can't help who you fall in love with... For many women (myself included) and men also, being "attracted to" someone goes much deeper than merely how tall or short he is....or what he looks like on the outside. It's his energy and the connection we feel when in his presence. Chemistry....which goes way beyond looks for many people. I get many guys can't get past a woman's looks and insist she must be HOT.... not just to him but every man she knows....but many women don't base their attraction on looks alone. A lot of it is mental and, again, how he makes us feel. It's intangible, undefinable. ETA: I used to work in entertainment back east, and was surrounded by good looking male models all day. While obviously I found them attractive to look at, I never, not once, ever became "attracted to" any of them. None of them ever piqued my interest....enough to ever want to go out with them....despite a few of them wanting to go out with me. Looks alone does NOT do it for me and many other women I know. It takes much more than that to intrigue me and "attract" me. Edited January 26, 2016 by katiegrl 1 Link to post Share on other sites
SwordofFlame Posted January 26, 2016 Share Posted January 26, 2016 Question for the women who think short men are not masculine enough for them. Can a short guy compensate for it by working out and putting on a good amount of muscle? Link to post Share on other sites
Versacehottie Posted January 26, 2016 Share Posted January 26, 2016 Question for the women who think short men are not masculine enough for them. Can a short guy compensate for it by working out and putting on a good amount of muscle? Well everyone's tastes are varied but I think a fit guy of any height is going to be at an advantage, generally speaking. I think the safest "look" as far as muscles go, is to emulate actor/model trim and toned but not overly bulked up. Especially at a shorter height, it's going to look potentially out of proportion or that you are making up for a lack of confidence with waaayyyyy too many hours at the gym, which can be a turn off in itself. I think at shorter heights, surfer bodies look good. There are lots of surfers that aren't that tall--so they are a good athletic role model, I think. Here's the real secret though, same as quite a lot of surfers have. They are brimming with confidence. I think of all the guys that I know that are short and that are pretty universally attractive to the females around them, the key has been a great personality. Usually outgoing, fun, confident. Also for whatever reason a lot of the shorter guys I know seem to have really good looking faces--which definitely helps. I am thinking of one of my guy friends who is around 5'7", good looking, is a surfer so the body is definitely good, makes a ton of money and is very well-connected and social, smart. Yet in his case he struggles to find a girlfriend. I think his problem is that he is generally too serious and his humor is way too dry for most people. I think it comes off that he has a complex about being short or undervalued when he actually has everything he needs for a gf (he's a good guy) if his personality had a bit of an injection. And then another guy friend who is same height, not quite as financially set, good looking, basically same body which is also good and well-connected in his scene and girls are in love with him, left and right. He is fun and sexy, flirty, playful and smart which conveys confidence---so ultimately it boils down to personality. Everyone of any height will have best results if they present themselves to best of physical possibilities and use that to their advantage. But personality is usually what wins people over once you meet a threshold of attractiveness. Link to post Share on other sites
Toodaloo Posted January 26, 2016 Share Posted January 26, 2016 I feel shallow by comparison. I've been on two dates with a great guy who's about 2 inches shorter than me and I can't shake the feeling that I could pick him up and swaddle him like a newborn! I don't know if it's me but it feels like an elephant in the room, I don't know if he's wishing I was shorter (or him taller haha) or if it's me just assuming. I feel like that with skinny men! Give me a bit of meat on the bones any day! I feel as though I would break them! Its why I don't tend to date skinny men! Its just preference Soph. But when the right guy comes along it will not matter how tall or short he is... You will adore him for who he is regardless. That much I do know. I never thought I would date a fellow ginger... Dated two in a row so far!!! AND they have been my preference! 2 Link to post Share on other sites
LookAtThisPOst Posted January 26, 2016 Share Posted January 26, 2016 I think OLD has played a part in this height thing though. It used to be that you could approach a girl who was sitting down, get chatting, ask her out, then later realise she was standing up the whole time, but it doesn't matter because you like her personality.. Actually, when I was at a meetup, I saw this very tall, statuesque Amazon woman. probably like 6 feet all herself, big boobs and curves that didn't stop. She was in bikini and I was at a 4th of July BBQ party at someone's house. She was talking to this shorter guy, they were both around the same age. He was actually in shape/fit himself. And I was getting some food, and I was overhearing their conversation about dating and the subject of height came up. And she's looking DOWN at him saying, "Yeah, I have a thing for tall men." She was trying to get him to read between the lines. LOL Link to post Share on other sites
road Posted January 26, 2016 Share Posted January 26, 2016 Actually, when I was at a meetup, I saw this very tall, statuesque Amazon woman. probably like 6 feet all herself, big boobs and curves that didn't stop. She was in bikini and I was at a 4th of July BBQ party at someone's house. She was talking to this shorter guy, they were both around the same age. He was actually in shape/fit himself. And I was getting some food, and I was overhearing their conversation about dating and the subject of height came up. And she's looking DOWN at him saying, "Yeah, I have a thing for tall men." She was trying to get him to read between the lines. LOL Useless to ask a man to read between the lines when he can't get his eyes away from her bikini. Link to post Share on other sites
introverted1 Posted January 26, 2016 Share Posted January 26, 2016 Question for the women who think short men are not masculine enough for them. Can a short guy compensate for it by working out and putting on a good amount of muscle? A short guy can compensate by being smart and funny and interesting! Oh wait, that's all guys... I seriously don't get the emphasis on height. I'm not overly tall -- 5'6", so just a little above average -- but when I've dated a shorter guy, it's been no big deal. I think I've dated in the range of 5'4" - 6'2". I like some muscle on a guy, but I kind of like it to be a surprise, like I didn't know it was hiding under there. I am not a big fan of guys with invisible lat syndrome. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
LookAtThisPOst Posted January 26, 2016 Share Posted January 26, 2016 Useless to ask a man to read between the lines when he can't get his eyes away from her bikini. I'm not sure what that has to do with what I said. Anyhow, back on topic. Link to post Share on other sites
LookAtThisPOst Posted January 26, 2016 Share Posted January 26, 2016 I am not a big fan of guys with invisible lat syndrome. What's that mean? Oh, looked it up. LOL You know , I never thought about that...I thought I noticed some men on occasion walking weird. I taking pictures at a party, and some guy was sucking in his gut for the pic. lol 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Toodaloo Posted January 26, 2016 Share Posted January 26, 2016 I am not a big fan of guys with invisible lat syndrome. I am a simpleton... I just call them gorillas... It amuses me when men puff up their chests. Sometimes its kinda cute. Sometimes its just really annoying... 2 Link to post Share on other sites
AceCutty Posted February 28, 2016 Share Posted February 28, 2016 Heightism, unlike racism or sexism, is perfectly acceptable in our society and is even encouraged. As a fellow short man, here's my advice: - Expect to be rejected based on your height alone. If you get rejected and are not sure why, it's most likely because of your height. - You will need to go to great lengths to attract women. - You will have more difficulty in life in general, but it will not be acknowledged that you are being discriminated against. - You better damn well have a charming personality and money. - You will either need to settle or go to a third world country. Western culture truly hates short men. So we have our work cut out for us. Link to post Share on other sites
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