Consolidated Discussion: Height in Dating

[Methodical]

Everyone has preferences, which is perfectly normal. I've never know two ppl who were attracted to each other to pull out a tapeline and take measurements. If there is a noticeable difference in height and that's an issue, they probably won't progress past one or two dates so it's really a non-issue.

[Rejected Rosebud]

I don't know any men that respect other men for not being able to get a girl that's smaller than them. Maybe it's a cultural thing but where I live it's desirable to have a girlfriend/wife that is smaller and having one that is taller is often ridiculed (for being with a "dragon" or a "beast" instead of a lovely girl). There's even the word "dragonslayer" (literal translation) which is used to ridicule men who always go for the large girls.

 

You know guys who think that tall women are dragons or beasts?? What do they think of the modeling industry?

[Rejected Rosebud]

I dated a woman both a little taller and a little older than I was, and it wasn't an issue at all.

 

 

But the fact that she was crazy turned out to be something of an obstacle.

Well did you every consider that maybe tall + old = crazy? Think about it.

[GorillaTheater]

Well did you every consider that maybe tall + old = crazy? Think about it.

 

 

Looking back, it was probably reasonable to suspect the sanity of anybody willing to go out with me beyond the first date. Even though I was one heck of a nice guy.

[jasmineb]

I don't know any men that respect other men for not being able to get a girl that's smaller than them. Maybe it's a cultural thing but where I live it's desirable to have a girlfriend/wife that is smaller and having one that is taller is often ridiculed (for being with a "dragon" or a "beast" instead of a lovely girl). There's even the word "dragonslayer" (literal translation) which is used to ridicule men who always go for the large girls.

 

Since when does tall necessarily mean large? Sounds like the members of this culture need some manners.

[Delcore]

Last night my GF's friend went out with a guy off of bumble. She said there won't be a second date because he is short. It matters to some people.

 

That's unfortunate to hear.

[normal person]

Your friends must be batting for the other side if they don't think tall girls are pretty. Or jealous. That would be my guess.

 

I can understand what he's saying. Speaking for myself at 5'10", I'm not attracted to women who are 5'7" or taller, I just feel emasculated if I'm not physically bigger than the person, and it hasn't been for lack of trying. It even happens when girls this tall don't care about my height, I still do. It feels odd not being into a cute girl who's into you, but it's happened to me quite a few times.

 

It has nothing to do with her, more myself. Of course tall girls can be just as pretty as everyone else, but for me I've just taught myself to think that they're off limits to me. If I saw a picture of a cute girl without knowing how tall she was, I'd like her. But if I found out she's 5'7"+ I'd instantly just have to let it go because I'd know it just wouldn't work. Tall girls just live on a different planet than me. Usually they want a tall guy themselves (and there are plenty of short girls) so it's not such a big deal, but the core of the issue is that I do wish I was taller.

[LookAtThisPOst]

I can understand what he's saying. Speaking for myself at 5'10", I'm not attracted to women who are 5'7" or taller, I just feel emasculated if I'm not physically bigger than the person, and it hasn't been for lack of trying. It even happens when girls this tall don't care about my height, I still do. It feels odd not being into a cute girl who's into you, but it's happened to me quite a few times.

 

It has nothing to do with her, more myself. Of course tall girls can be just as pretty as everyone else, but for me I've just taught myself to think that they're off limits to me. If I saw a picture of a cute girl without knowing how tall she was, I'd like her. But if I found out she's 5'7"+ I'd instantly just have to let it go because I'd know it just wouldn't work. Tall girls just live on a different planet than me. Usually they want a tall guy themselves (and there are plenty of short girls) so it's not such a big deal, but the core of the issue is that I do wish I was taller.

 

Usually height isn't an issue with me with women. Usually curves overtake height. I once went out with a 5'10" woman that had great curves...was thick, but appealing to me. She could be short with the same proportionate curve, wouldn't matter to me.

 

Curves get my attention more than height.

[Methodical]

I had an older friend who was married to a midget. She wanted me to meet him and invited me to dinner one evening. Granted, she didn't forewarned me and I kind of wished she had so that upon introducing us, I wouldn't have been dumbfounded. They were happily married for 30 years...until she passed away.

 

My opinion of him wasn't exactly favorable tho, not bc of his height. He had a king sized, "know it all" attitude and in general treated ppl disrespectfully. I suppose he felt the need to be a jackass to make up for his short stature :/. Sad, really, bc all he did was alienate ppl.

[serial muse]

I was two inches taller than my exH. He had issues, but height wasn't one of them. I'll say this for him, he was comfortable in his own skin. Also, I think that at 5'4" he was used to it so had long ago found a way to be fine with dating taller women.

 

I did date a guy a little later on who is almost my exact height. (I'm 5'6", he's 5'7" or so). It made him VERY uncomfortable if I wore even low heels. At one point he told me he almost always dates Asian women (which I'm not) because they tend to be smaller than him. Ooookay then.

 

So it just really depends on the people involved.

[risjurad]

With all honesty, there's no issue. I'm merely just curious and want to view opinions from other people that have been in my shoes, that's all.

From my observations, those in previous generations, and ladies nowadays would prefer men to be taller. (I suspect some of those folks may feel the same way about incomes and salaries, but that's for another thread). Some of them go so far as to make it a deal breaker. Read some articles that if women blacklist all men shorter then them, they're effectively reducing 75% of their dating pool. If they're up for the fiercer competition, knock themselves out. However, they could be passing up a lot of otherwise compatible matches.

 

 

As for me, I'm not tall (5' 6"), have parents that prefer I'd be taller than my future wife, but OTOH, they'd probably appreciate getting a dose of "tall genes" in our kids.

[njoylife]

I understand the reasons why women like their men taller and why men like their women shorter, but whats the role of one's general height (compared to others) ?

 

Do women feel protected by their man being taller than just them or being generally tall, meaning taller than most guys out there?

 

What's the importance of a guy's height relative to other guys? Where does this belong in the attraction formula?

 

There are three scenarios:

 

1.Your guy is taller than you(e.g. 4inch taller) but generally shorter than most men(e.g. he is 5'7)

 

2.Your guys is taller than you (e.g. 3-5 inch taller) but quite average compared to other guys, he is 5'9 or 5'10

 

3.Your guy is taller than you and quite tall compared to other guys, he is 6'2 and above

 

Now how do women get their feeling of comfort? Would a woman feel comfortable in scenario 1 knowing that there are so many taller guys compared to her own? Would she get this feeling of safety etc?

 

Please feel free to share your thoughts on this matter

Edited May 4, 2016 by njoylife

[Charmed22]

I am 5'2 so its really not that hard to find a guy who is taller than me. Usually I go for guys that are are around 5"6-6" I don't like guys that are too taller than me. Just a guy who fits me. Also height isn't the only thing I look for as I am more likely to go for a muscular 5'4 guy than a skinny 6" guy.

[carhill]

Ha, ha, back in the era of 'tall', in addition to 'manly men', I came as an adult to wonder what the tall for the times erstwhile model saw in the short wiry guy whom she faced eye to eye when in even a mildly heeled shoe like spectators. Yet, there was something there and they were married for life and socialized a kid for whom height was never a requisite subject regarding dating or attraction. Perhaps their version of outlier rubbed off on me, IDK. I'd have probably dated more tall women, meaning women of 5'10-6', my height, if they had agreed. None did so that's how it went. I recall, while married, finding something about my exW adding height, in her case with heels, to be very stimulating. Don't know where that came from but it is what it is.

 

When I look around at the couples I know in real life, including the children and grandchildren of friends, it's still taller guy with shorter lady, most clearly so, meaning more like me and my 5'1" exW rather than my 5'7" father and his 5'6" wife. Interesting stuff, mating is.

[Shy Girl]

As a tall girl with insecurities (I'm nearly 5'9"), I would feel more comfortable with a guy taller than me, simply because I don't want to stand out too much. But I wouldn't think the guy should be taller, I would wish that I was shorter. Height wouldn't be a factor in my decision of whether or not I would date someone, but I would feel more insecure about myself. My first boyfriend was almost exactly the same height as me, and my second was maybe an inch taller. This was comfortable enough for me, although I still wished I was shorter. I love tall boots with heels, but I feel that at my height I can't "get away" with wearing anything with heels. My first boyfriend liked my height and tried to encourage me to wear whatever I wanted, the second was intimidated by the idea of going out in public with me if he looked shorter than me. I think that if I dated a guy that was a fair bit taller than me it would make me much more comfortable with my own height and even with wearing heels.

[losangelena]

Now how do women get their feeling of comfort? Would a woman feel comfortable in scenario 1 knowing that there are so many taller guys compared to her own? Would she get this feeling of safety etc?

 

Please feel free to share your thoughts on this matter

 

I don't really care one way or the other if a man I'm dating is an inch taller, 5 inches taller, or a foot taller. I don't need my man to be a certain height in order to feel "protected." That's not a feeling I prioritize while looking for a man.

 

Hell, my last BF was maybe half-an-inch shorter than me, and weighed less. That didn't make him any less attractive to me. But I never clung to him as "my protector," either. That feels like a rather old-fashioned notion, tbqh.

[ly399]

Yeah but fortunately for shorter men there are alot of hot short women so they shouldn't have any problems getting a date.

 

that's not true. cuz short hot girls can date tall guys!!!!

 

im 5'3, and my ex bfs are 6'0, 6'1, 6'5... and BOOM now i'm dating a guy who is 5'6.

 

i really like him, although i wish i could stand up straight when he puts his arm around me.

[tomtheman1234]

just wonder if ladies are looking to date Giants? I mean would lots of ladies think my height which is 5' 6" to short and the fact I look younger than I am a reason not to consider getting to know me on Internet date. I just wonder. As I have just started internet dating again.

[heartfeltlove]

Internet dating slogan: "I may be 5' 6" but my heart is epic and my soul a behemoth." Stature really doesn't matter in the end when you meet the right woman. If stature matters to a woman, you've met the wrong woman.

[basil67]

I've been taller or the same height as every man I've seriously dated. Wouldn't bother me at all.

[Cherryz]

Everyone have their own taste.

You cant say what size all ladys like.

[AceCutty]

Internet dating slogan: "I may be 5' 6" but my heart is epic and my soul a behemoth." Stature really doesn't matter in the end when you meet the right woman. If stature matters to a woman, you've met the wrong woman.

 

Easy for you to say. Are you a short man?

 

Everyone have their own taste.

You cant say what size all ladys like.

 

There are many studies out there that prove that the vast majority of women will rule out a man simply due to his height.

 

So say you take 100 women. Lets use OLD response rates as an example and say that 84 women rule me out because of my height. That leaves 16 women. Half of those women don't like my looks. That leaves 8. Another half of those women don't agree with my personal philosophies. That leaves 4. These 4 women are all single mothers. So now I have 0 options. The end.

[Versacehottie]

There are many studies out there that prove that the vast majority of women will rule out a man simply due to his height.

 

So say you take 100 women. Lets use OLD response rates as an example and say that 84 women rule me out because of my height. That leaves 16 women. Half of those women don't like my looks. That leaves 8. Another half of those women don't agree with my personal philosophies. That leaves 4. These 4 women are all single mothers. So now I have 0 options. The end.

 

ugh. Your post just illustrates that people have their preferences. You don't want to date single mothers. A statistically higher group of women won't want to date you because of your height. And??? Bitterness is not going to turn any of the 4 remaining women who have interest in you into the ONE.

 

If anything, I would imagine that someone in your position who has repeatedly and somewhat randomly been dismissed for something out of his control would d have a more open mind and empathetic attitude. It might help you get what you want; you should try it.

[LookAtThisPOst]

I can understand a woman who is tall for a woman, like 5'8, 5'9, 5'10"...wanting a taller man, but if she's a short stuff herself and requires a significantly taller guy...that's when it gets quite outrageous for expectations.

 

Recently saw this profile of a woman, 5'2", said "If you're not significantly taller than me in heels...because I wear 5"-inch heels...don't email me." (I'm 5'8' so only an inch taller than her...in heels. )

 

To honest, I don't know THAT many women that wear heels that long, because it gets uncomfortable for them at certain point. Usually no longer than 3", but to include an unrealistic heel length as inclusive to your height...yeah, quite shallow.

[NJ123]

This isn't meant to be a negative thread at all about height. But I'm just wondering what's the chances of a guy that's a bit on the shorter side to date a woman that's taller? Like let's say the guy is 5'6"-5'7", what's the odds of him being able to date a woman that's a few inches taller than him? Is it usually most of the time a lost cause where she'd be turned off by her being taller, or would a lot of women not care at all?