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Consolidated Discussion: Height in Dating


Xiomn

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It could be worse. I remember on this other forum there was a guy in his 30s who claimed he was a virgin and had gotten rejected by over a thousand women. No one believed him until he said he was 5'1" :D It was so bad for him he only started dating when he went to China and the Philippines.

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It came up very rarely from petite women - maybe three or four times in all.

 

One time my 5' ex said I was pretty short for a guy. But I like towered over her come on.

 

Or they would randomly say they liked tall guys.

 

That's honestly disrespectful to say that right to your face. I don't get why they would randomly say they like tall guys to you. It makes no sense at all & would personally turn me off.

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Tell me about it. And I usually tread very carefully when I know a girl is insecure about something.

 

The sweetest girlfriend I ever had was 5'8". She knew about my complex and she actually apologized for not being shorter. :D

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Tell me about it. And I usually tread very carefully when I know a girl is insecure about something.

 

The sweetest girlfriend I ever had was 5'8". She knew about my complex and she actually apologized for not being shorter. :D

 

Well, the thing is if a girlfriend mentions things like that it's going to make you feel bad automatically. What guy that's on the shorter side is going to want to hear his girlfriend say she prefers taller men or that you're a bit short for a guy. It's like really? Why the hell are you with me is what I'd be thinking & would be so turned off since I'd feel like she doesn't even respect me.

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Oh dear.

 

The "majority" of men do not like girls who have small breasts, who have thick waists, who have "stocky" legs, who are obese, who are taller than them.... etc. etc. but such women still get dates, still get men interested in them, still get men who love them, still get married, still have kids...

 

NO man can be all things to all women.

Sure, as a smaller man SOME women will not be attracted, but OTHERS will not care or even notice.

Stop getting hung up on generalities, IRL those generalities tend to fade into insignificance.

She either likes you or she doesn't.

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Oh dear.

The "majority" of men do not like girls who have small breasts, who have thick waists, who have "stocky" legs, who are obese, who are taller than them.... etc. etc. but such women still get dates, still get men interested in them, still get men who love them, still get married, still have kids...

 

 

You must've missed the threads that explain how female pickiness is nature's method of optimizing the gene pool, eh?

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You must've missed the threads that explain how female pickiness is nature's method of optimizing the gene pool, eh?

 

But that would be assuming that we as humans are all working on pure instinct and that there is no input from "intelligence" whatsoever.

 

If it was all down to pure instinct to improve the gene pool, then surely there would be no short guys and no flat chested women, as their genes would have died out completely long ago, in favour of the "best" genes.

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And again with the generalisations! We're not all a bunch of shallow women. Sure, some are, but it's a mistake to think that all women are alike.

 

I'd say the interesting thing here is sorting out the difference between being shallow vs. being entitled to your preferences.

 

I don't think there's any doubt that women generally prefer taller men, even women who are fairly short themselves. I'm a fairly large guy and pretty much every woman I've dated has mentioned liking my size/height... and some have gone on and on about it, even though they were like 5'4". They had dated shorter men as well, so it's not like they were "shallow" in the sense that they wouldn't consider it, but they were not hesitant to elaborate on the preference.

 

As a man, I'd be ok with dating someone up to my own height, but it would probably be weird to date someone taller (not that they make women that tall). One thing I've realized is that overall size matters. If a woman is tall, that's perfectly fine, positive, attractive... as long as she's relatively thin. Because a woman who is tall and a bit thick is probably going to be close to my own overall size, and I do not like that. And yes, I've tried it before.

 

I guess that could be called superficial or shallow, but to me it just feels like a preference. I tend not to be nutty about boobs. The best sex I ever had (the most sexual woman) was flat-flat with sensitive nipples connected to the orgasmic nerves. Big and not connected would be so inefficient. :)

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But that would be assuming that we as humans are all working on pure instinct and that there is no input from "intelligence" whatsoever.

 

If it was all down to pure instinct to improve the gene pool, then surely there would be no short guys and no flat chested women, as their genes would have died out completely long ago, in favour of the "best" genes.

 

No, evolution is not that absolute or efficient. It needs variation, and it also takes a long-long time relative to our frame of reference for a beneficial new gene to proliferate.

 

Another interesting notion is "input from intelligence." We love to believe we have the ability to exercise free will, but I'm not so sure that we do. Nature has a beautiful ability to get what it wants from us while also allow us the ability for self-delusion so that we can rationalize it anyway we like.

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You must've missed the threads that explain how female pickiness is nature's method of optimizing the gene pool, eh?

 

Yup. Same goes for male pickiness! I mean..even the history of liking big breasts has to do with feeding your children. Everyone chooses a mate based on optimizing the gene pool. What's your point?

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No, evolution is not that absolute or efficient. It needs variation, and it also takes a long-long time relative to our frame of reference for a beneficial new gene to proliferate.

 

OK, but if it was completely "natural" and "instinctive" for women to pick and mate with tall men preferentially, then over the 200,000 years modern humans have been around, then surely short men would have become extinct.

 

If you mate Great Dane with Great Dane with Great Dane for ever and ever then you do not get Yorkshire Terriers do you?

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Went out with quite a few tall girls.

 

Never an issue.

 

(It was a long distance relationship) Terrible joke.

 

But no problem from my experience.

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Sunkissedpatio
As far as I know, my friend who is 5'8"-5'9" has never had a girl turn him down based on height. And frankly, if someone is that superficial, would you really WANT to date them anyway? Not me, thanks.

 

That's because the average height of men per continent (with exclusion of noric and slavic countries, Asia and Africa) is 5'8" to 5'9" Of course your friend has no problems getting girls. That's isn't short. 5'6" and under is considered short for a man.

 

It's not shallow to want someone to be a certain way physically it is human nature to be attracted to what we are attracted to physically.

re.

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Well, that's unfortunate. I'm only 5'6" & 5'7" with shoes on & always see women my height or taller that I find really attractive. So it honestly stings a bit knowing that whenever I even interact with a woman I find attractive that's taller that they wouldn't find me attractive.

 

It isn't that they don't find you attractive, just not tall enough for them. I'm 5'7 and my husband is 6'4. When I was single and dating I once dated a guy that was 5'4 and was quite smitten with him. He turned out to be a Player. He was cheating on me with a model who was taller than me.

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So again I'm asking it's pretty much a woman's insecurities about it for why shorter guys usually don't stand a chance with them? Do taller women at least find shorter men attractive, but they just wouldn't want to be with them for relationships?

 

Absolutely! There are some really hot short guys. Why the worries? There are far more shorter women than tall ones. I can't understand why these good looking short guys don't have a gf.

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But that would be assuming that we as humans are all working on pure instinct and that there is no input from "intelligence" whatsoever.

 

If it was all down to pure instinct to improve the gene pool, then surely there would be no short guys and no flat chested women, as their genes would have died out completely long ago, in favour of the "best" genes.

 

The only problem with that is that a woman that's flat chested could go out & get implants to be more attractive to a lot more guys. A guy that's short is stuck being short the rest of his life unless he wants to risk severe health issues by getting height surgery. It's kind of not exactly a good comparison at all to be fair.

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Absolutely! There are some really hot short guys. Why the worries? There are far more shorter women than tall ones. I can't understand why these good looking short guys don't have a gf.

 

It's honestly probably because a lot of shorter women still prefer tall men. So it's difficult for even good looking shorter men to get girlfriends due to automatically having less options. And it's worrying because it's just really unfortunate how a guy that's short can do everything he can to be the best person he can be all around yet it literally still wouldn't be good enough just due to his height.

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That's because the average height of men per continent (with exclusion of noric and slavic countries, Asia and Africa) is 5'8" to 5'9" Of course your friend has no problems getting girls. That's isn't short. 5'6" and under is considered short for a man.

 

It's not shallow to want someone to be a certain way physically it is human nature to be attracted to what we are attracted to physically.

re.

 

It's not what any shorter guy wants to hear, but it's really the truth. Literally by every inch shorter you are, the millions of less options you have by each shorter inch. It's kind of scary to think about it that way but that's how it is sadly.

 

I guess the concern I have is that if most women prefer tall guys that the woman I wind up with will prefer tall guys too & in a way just be settling for me. It's not a good feeling at all.

Edited by NJ123
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devilish innocent

Maybe it's because I'm quite petite myself, but your height sounds ideal to me.

 

Honestly, though, we almost all compromise when it comes to finding a mate. There's not many people who have the face and body of a movie star. You'd be surprised how little those compromises matter to people when they're falling in love.

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It's not what any shorter guy wants to hear, but it's really the truth. Literally by every inch shorter you are, the millions of less options you have by each shorter inch. It's kind of scary to think about it that way but that's how it is sadly.

 

I guess the concern I have is that if most women prefer tall guys that the woman I wind up with will prefer tall guys too & in a way just be settling for me. It's not a good feeling at all.

 

 

YOU don't NEED millions of options, you just need the ONE.

 

Truth is, EVERYBODY "settles"

NO-ONE in this world, ticks every single box, so we ALL have to "make do" in some way.

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YOU don't NEED millions of options, you just need the ONE.

 

Truth is, EVERYBODY "settles"

NO-ONE in this world, ticks every single box, so we ALL have to "make do" in some way.

 

Yes, but the more options one has has a much easier time of finding the one.

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Sunkissedpatio
It's not what any shorter guy wants to hear, but it's really the truth. Literally by every inch shorter you are, the millions of less options you have by each shorter inch. It's kind of scary to think about it that way but that's how it is sadly

 

Oh NJ you worry so much about the population at large that you neglect to see that when you fall in love and someone falls in love with you all it takes is one other person, not millions of options. Also, when you find someone that sparks that flame for you you will find that a lot of your expectations and demands are out the window. Some of the most successful couples I know (and I don't know too many who succeed for the long haul and are quite content) describe their other half as "he/she wasn't what I typically go for," or "I wasn't sure about x,y,z at first because I was used to "a,b,c" and yet here they are in love, together and content.

 

You need to experience long term love, it's not fickle as you think.

 

Your needs aren't obsolete and neither are women's taste in shorter men. Here on LS we represent a very small fraction of the population and we tend to seek out the answers and philosophies we already adhere to. You can't let the fact that a couple of women have said we prefer taller guys, dictate the fate of your love life. That's just silly.

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Yes, but the more options one has has a much easier time of finding the one.

 

Actually no because then it opens up too many choices and options.

 

If you have less options you are cutting to the chase quicker.

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Actually no because then it opens up too many choices and options.

 

If you have less options you are cutting to the chase quicker.

 

I'd easily rather have more options than not having many. You have a better chance of finding someone you're completely compatible with with having more options than having less where you might need to make more compromises than you'd need to with more options.

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