Fishfingersareyummy Posted October 14, 2016 Share Posted October 14, 2016 (edited) I said short men that blame their inability to get a girl SOLELY on their height are full of it. Some men do but as I say being a short man means I am automatically unattractive to a majority of women and I don't think me stating this makes me full of it. There are women who will automatically dismiss a man because of his height, now I am not saying that they should date short men if they find short men repugnant and repulsive, but at the same time I can understand why some short men get upset that women seem to shoot them down over something they have no control over. I am not saying these men aren't somewhat misguided with their frustration but I don't think it's fair to dismiss their complaints as being "full of it". Edited October 14, 2016 by Fishfingersareyummy Link to post Share on other sites
lightfoot Posted October 14, 2016 Share Posted October 14, 2016 Sorry guys but a man who complains that he can't get women solely because of his height is just unwilling to face his actual flaws. So what would you say about that 5'1" guy who asked out around 2,000 women and got nothing? Link to post Share on other sites
NJ123 Posted October 14, 2016 Share Posted October 14, 2016 So what would you say about that 5'1" guy who asked out around 2,000 women and got nothing? The thing is the people that don't have to worry about it means they don't have to think about it. So they can just make comments like "it's not that big of a deal" or whatever else since it doesn't affect them. I'm always going to refer to what I saw on match.com as to what women's actual preferences are when they say height doesn't matter or isn't a big deal. 90% of women on there want a guy that's 5'7" minimum or taller. Link to post Share on other sites
Fishfingersareyummy Posted October 14, 2016 Share Posted October 14, 2016 5'7 is still short for a man. Link to post Share on other sites
NJ123 Posted October 14, 2016 Share Posted October 14, 2016 5'7 is still short for a man. I know, but only about 1/3rd or a quarter of that 90% wanted 5'7". So for me personally 90% of the women on there eliminate me automatically just due to height. I can't tell you how many women that were like 5'3" still wanted a guy that's 5-6 inches taller minimum. Link to post Share on other sites
Fishfingersareyummy Posted October 14, 2016 Share Posted October 14, 2016 I know, but only about 1/3rd or a quarter of that 90% wanted 5'7". So for me personally 90% of the women on there eliminate me automatically just due to height. I can't tell you how many women that were like 5'3" still wanted a guy that's 5-6 inches taller minimum. How many feet and inches are you? I dated a woman that was 5'3 and she even wore heels, so there is hope for you yet. Link to post Share on other sites
Buddhist Posted October 14, 2016 Share Posted October 14, 2016 Threads like this just become self fulfilling prophecies, confirmation bias is at play. The more you think your height is a problem the more you notice those individuals for whom it is a problem and the more you reject external sources of confirmation that it isn't. Hence your height becomes the problem because you unwittingly make it the focus of your attention and how problematic it is. It's interesting to note how powerful our own attention becomes. We can minimise or enlarge anything in our lives just by paying attention to it or not. Clearly it's not a universal problem because plenty of short people around the world are in relationships, short people in the US even. But if you're convinced it's some all encompassing universal issue then it becomes that for you. Interesting dynamic. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
NJ123 Posted October 14, 2016 Share Posted October 14, 2016 How many feet and inches are you? I dated a woman that was 5'3 and she even wore heels, so there is hope for you yet. I'm 5'6" barefoot, 5'7" with shoes. I used to say I was 5'7" since I really thought I was, but learned that I'm only 5'6" with no shoes on so I just say 5'6" these days or if I was on an online dating site. Link to post Share on other sites
LikeMariella Posted October 14, 2016 Share Posted October 14, 2016 For me, it's more about the way a man carries himself, and how his height relates to his body shape. I'm 5'8, and there are a guys who are a little shorter than me, 5'8 or 5'9 that I find attrative, and I generally like it when they work out and have strong arms (in proportion). I like taller guys, up until 6 feet, to be skinny, pretty much. Guys over 6 feet I rarely find attractive, mostly because it just doesn't attract me when they're burly, and I find that tall skinny guys just don't carry themselves very well, kind of like they don't know what to do with their arms lol. But these are all just generalizations, as I said, it's all about the way you move in the body you have and the self-confidence you exude. Which is very hard to show in OLD. Link to post Share on other sites
Fishfingersareyummy Posted October 14, 2016 Share Posted October 14, 2016 Threads like this just become self fulfilling prophecies, confirmation bias is at play. The more you think your height is a problem the more you notice those individuals for whom it is a problem and the more you reject external sources of confirmation that it isn't. Hence your height becomes the problem because you unwittingly make it the focus of your attention and how problematic it is. It's interesting to note how powerful our own attention becomes. We can minimise or enlarge anything in our lives just by paying attention to it or not. Clearly it's not a universal problem because plenty of short people around the world are in relationships, short people in the US even. But if you're convinced it's some all encompassing universal issue then it becomes that for you. Interesting dynamic. You are trivializing a real issue for us short men. Yes there are plenty of short men in relationships but delve in their past and you'll see a man that has suffered a lot of bruises in the dating game for something outside of his control. Being short is not the end of the world for men but it's a massive handicap in the dating game and to down play the significance of it isn't fair or right. Link to post Share on other sites
Fishfingersareyummy Posted October 14, 2016 Share Posted October 14, 2016 I'm 5'6" barefoot, 5'7" with shoes. I used to say I was 5'7" since I really thought I was, but learned that I'm only 5'6" with no shoes on so I just say 5'6" these days or if I was on an online dating site. Well you've got an inch on me, pal! Link to post Share on other sites
Fishfingersareyummy Posted October 14, 2016 Share Posted October 14, 2016 For me, it's more about the way a man carries himself, and how his height relates to his body shape. I'm 5'8, and there are a guys who are a little shorter than me, 5'8 or 5'9 that I find attrative, and I generally like it when they work out and have strong arms (in proportion). I like taller guys, up until 6 feet, to be skinny, pretty much. Guys over 6 feet I rarely find attractive, mostly because it just doesn't attract me when they're burly, and I find that tall skinny guys just don't carry themselves very well, kind of like they don't know what to do with their arms lol. But these are all just generalizations, as I said, it's all about the way you move in the body you have and the self-confidence you exude. Which is very hard to show in OLD. You don't have to be PC, you like men your height and taller. I see no reason to sugar coat your preference because it may offend or upset some sensitive short men on this forum. As for online dating, it essentially boils down to a little shopping window for men and women, people aren't people on online dating, they are small, insignificant advertisements in an ocean of advertisements. If you're a short man you will struggle, if you are a fat woman you'll struggle etc. It is what it is and I fail to see how sugar coating matters helps anyone. Link to post Share on other sites
LikeMariella Posted October 14, 2016 Share Posted October 14, 2016 Not sure why you're being an ass, I just said I liked men who are a little shorter than me up to about 6 feet, but that height alone was not the deciding factor. And that's what I meant to say. Link to post Share on other sites
ChickiePops Posted October 14, 2016 Share Posted October 14, 2016 I'm 5'6" barefoot, 5'7" with shoes. I used to say I was 5'7" since I really thought I was, but learned that I'm only 5'6" with no shoes on so I just say 5'6" these days or if I was on an online dating site. Why? Just say 5'7. It's not like anyone's going show up to a first date with a tape measure. Link to post Share on other sites
NJ123 Posted October 14, 2016 Share Posted October 14, 2016 Why? Just say 5'7. It's not like anyone's going show up to a first date with a tape measure. Why lie about it? I know it's maybe just a white lie, but I'd rather be truthful. But my driver's license does say 5'7" on it though lol. Link to post Share on other sites
Buddhist Posted October 14, 2016 Share Posted October 14, 2016 You are trivializing a real issue for us short men. Yes there are plenty of short men in relationships but delve in their past and you'll see a man that has suffered a lot of bruises in the dating game for something outside of his control. Being short is not the end of the world for men but it's a massive handicap in the dating game and to down play the significance of it isn't fair or right. I'm not trivialising anything I could take your post here and basically insert 'less than stunningly attractive' in for short and apply it to 99% of the world's population. Most of us, have less than ideal physical configurations. We could all date a lot better if we were part of the 1% of the world's population with perfect genes. But somehow we get on without that benefit. We do that because we accept what cannot be changed and work with what we've got instead of creating umpteen page 'woe is me' threads on internet forums. I'm pointing out the very real outcome of creating threads like these. You just participate in a giant pity party and start confirming each other's biases and closing your eye's to the reality that it's not the huge handicap you make it out to be. My first bf was 5ft 4" he found me at the age of 20 and has continuously been in relationships ever since. In fact he's found more dating success in life than I have. What he doesn't do is participate in threads like these confirming his own biases. I don't think it's an accident that he hasn't experienced this so called terrible handicap of being constantly rejected due to his height. He isn't rich nor especially good looking either. He's just a 5ft 4" average Joe doing well in dating presumably because he has an open mind. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Fishfingersareyummy Posted October 15, 2016 Share Posted October 15, 2016 I'm not trivialising anything I could take your post here and basically insert 'less than stunningly attractive' in for short and apply it to 99% of the world's population. Most of us, have less than ideal physical configurations. We could all date a lot better if we were part of the 1% of the world's population with perfect genes. But somehow we get on without that benefit. We do that because we accept what cannot be changed and work with what we've got instead of creating umpteen page 'woe is me' threads on internet forums. I'm pointing out the very real outcome of creating threads like these. You just participate in a giant pity party and start confirming each other's biases and closing your eye's to the reality that it's not the huge handicap you make it out to be. My first bf was 5ft 4" he found me at the age of 20 and has continuously been in relationships ever since. In fact he's found more dating success in life than I have. What he doesn't do is participate in threads like these confirming his own biases. I don't think it's an accident that he hasn't experienced this so called terrible handicap of being constantly rejected due to his height. He isn't rich nor especially good looking either. He's just a 5ft 4" average Joe doing well in dating presumably because he has an open mind. I don't know anyone who is participating in a "pity party" because the short men in this thread are rightly pointing out that short men are discriminated against due to their height. I don't think short men should just sweep this under the carpet because it upsets someone. I'm an average Joe who is 5'5 and I attract women, so yes short men can attract women unless they allow their height to become an issue IRL (at least in my experience). However I am under no illusion that a vast majority of women will not date me because of my height. Link to post Share on other sites
Fishfingersareyummy Posted October 15, 2016 Share Posted October 15, 2016 Not sure why you're being an ass, I just said I liked men who are a little shorter than me up to about 6 feet, but that height alone was not the deciding factor. And that's what I meant to say. According to your own words you are 5'8 and you say that you will date a shorter man who is 5'8 and 5'9. I'd hate to break it to you but men who are 5'8 and 5'9 are not shorter than you. I highly doubt you'd date someone who is 5'4 for example and that's fine. I am not saying for one moment that a woman should date a shorter man if she generally finds short men a turn off and her preference is taller men. However what you posted is just sugar coating things and that helps nobody. Link to post Share on other sites
LikeMariella Posted October 15, 2016 Share Posted October 15, 2016 Alright, let me explain some English punctuation rules for you. I wrote "[...] guys who are a little shorter than me, 5'8 or 5'9 that I find attrative [...]". This is what you call a list. It translates to: "Guys who are a little shorter than me AND 5'8 AND 5'9 [...]". (For me, a little shorter means 5'5, 5'6 or 5'7.) IF I had written "[...] guys who are a little shorter than me, 5'8 or 5'9, that I find attrative [...]", so, if I had inserted another comma after 5'9, that would have meant that I either lied about my own height before that, or, as you suggested, do not understand that 5'8 and 5'9 are not less than 5'8. That is, however, not what I wrote. So, please, read carefully. "I am not saying for one moment that a woman should date a shorter man if she generally finds short men a turn off and her preference is taller men. However what you posted is just sugar coating things and that helps nobody." But I don't find short men a turn off, however much you want me to. I have liked both a man who is 5'6 and a man who is 6 feet, and in both cases it was not their height that I liked but the way they carried this height and their self-confidence. I don't think that a man is attractive just because he's taller than me, and I don't think a man is unattractive just because he's shorter than me. My own mother tells me that the love of her life and the most attractive man she was ever with is a scrawny man who is 2 inches shorter than her. That doesn't mean that's true for everybody, and I do believe that the majority of women want a man who is a few inches taller than them, but that doesn't mean that there are no women out there who think differently. And no, I don't think I would find a man who is 5'4 or shorter attractive, at least I haven't one up until now. Link to post Share on other sites
Fishfingersareyummy Posted October 15, 2016 Share Posted October 15, 2016 Your preference is your preference but I get annoyed when I read women posting what you posted. It's PC claptrap that short men can frankly do without. I have no issue with women finding my height a massive turn off. They have their preferences and I have my preferences and it would be hypocritical for me to have preferences which exclude some women while complaining about women having preferences that exclude me. Height matters. Taller men are more likely to get promoted in the work place ahead of short men and a majority of women prefer taller men over shorter men. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Versacehottie Posted October 15, 2016 Share Posted October 15, 2016 I understand that not all women are like that, and a guy can have a lot going for him in the dating world besides his height. But I do live the life of a short guy here and it's not much fun. I'm 5'7", perfectly average in my country, but I came here and I was suddenly... short! I feel like as soon as I walk up to a woman, even on the sidewalk or elevator, and we see eye to eye, she immediately dismisses me as not a real man, as a person who can't be taken seriously. I barely get acknowledged by women and I'm not even talking about romantic settings here, but everyday routine. It's pretty dehumanizing. Now take my brother who's almost six feet, as soon as he walks into something he gets noticed, their eyes just light up. I JUST now saw a really gorgeous guy and he was about 5'6". And he definitely had confidence in way he carried himself. A lot of what you have to take into account is that everyone has things that may make for a disadvantage IF they let it but try not to let it bring you down and think that it will stop you from getting what you want because THAT attitude will most definitely stop you from have the most options you could have. Make sense? Link to post Share on other sites
Cookiesandough Posted October 15, 2016 Share Posted October 15, 2016 My friend's and I are more attracted to taller men (>6') just giving my honest opinion, I was just dating a guy who was 5'10 and I couldn't help but thinking how much more attractive he'd be if he was taller(my first boyfriend was 6'2 and there is a difference).He was still super attractive. because height isn't everything of course. It's just a plus. Link to post Share on other sites
NJ123 Posted October 15, 2016 Share Posted October 15, 2016 (edited) My friend's and I are more attracted to taller men (>6') just giving my honest opinion, I was just dating a guy who was 5'10 and I couldn't help but thinking how much more attractive he'd be if he was taller(my first boyfriend was 6'2 and there is a difference).He was still super attractive. because height isn't everything of course. It's just a plus. That's a shame that even though you call him super attractive he still wasn't good enough for you. Not hating or anything, but it's just sad that just because of literally a few inches it wasn't good enough. I really just don't get that mentality at all whatsoever. It's reasons like that are why some guys complain about these things in the first place. Edited October 15, 2016 by NJ123 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Cookiesandough Posted October 15, 2016 Share Posted October 15, 2016 That's a shame that even though you call him super attractive he still wasn't good enough for you. Not hating or anything, but it's just sad that just because of literally a few inches it wasn't good enough. I really just don't get that mentality at all whatsoever. It's reasons like that are why some guys complain about these things in the first place. Sorry I should have clarified that his height had absolutely nothing to do with why we are no longer dating!!. it was just an observation Link to post Share on other sites
NJ123 Posted October 15, 2016 Share Posted October 15, 2016 Sorry I should have clarified that his height had absolutely nothing to do with why we are no longer dating!!. it was just an observation Are you honestly sure about that? Your post really made it seem like it bothered you a lot more than you're letting on. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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