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Consolidated Discussion: Height in Dating


Xiomn

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The problem I have noticed in this topic is you generally have sets of people. You have those who think being short means they cannot get a woman and those who seek to down play the massive disadvantage that comes with being a short man.

 

The OP height is an issue in the dating game because a majority of women will strike him off due to his height even before they have struck up a conversation and got to know him as a person. They may fancy him, think he's hot, love his personality but will not want him due to his height. Does his height mean he cannot get a woman? No, of course he can but he's right to acknowledge that he's at a disadvantage compared to someone who is 6'1 or 6'2.

 

The OP needs to acknowledge that while he's at a disadvantage, it's not the end of the world and he can get women.

 

Well I haven't seen many (any?) posters downplaying a short guys disadvantage to be honest. Most have said what you have said, just in different words.

 

As I mentioned earlier in this thread although I am not what I'd call short I'm certainly not tall enough to 'make the cut' for some women. I also have the added disadvantage of being ugly/plain although I feel I 'grew into my skin' as I matured.

I simply emphasised and played to my strengths. Once I realised this I was rarely without a girlfriend from just prior to my mid 20's till a year or so before I met my wife to be. Oddly I did go through a 'dry' period at this time, not sure why.

I knew I was never gonna match Mr Clickyourfingersandgirlscomearunning but so what?

 

If I can do it I'm damned sure anyone can.

 

A couple of pics of me are in my album, if that guy can do it I'm pretty sure NJ123 could do it!

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The problem I have noticed in this topic is you generally have sets of people. You have those who think being short means they cannot get a woman and those who seek to down play the massive disadvantage that comes with being a short man.

 

The OP height is an issue in the dating game because a majority of women will strike him off due to his height even before they have struck up a conversation and got to know him as a person. They may fancy him, think he's hot, love his personality but will not want him due to his height. Does his height mean he cannot get a woman? No, of course he can but he's right to acknowledge that he's at a disadvantage compared to someone who is 6'1 or 6'2.

 

The OP needs to acknowledge that while he's at a disadvantage, it's not the end of the world and he can get women.

 

At this point I'm just thinking it is what it is. It really does suck, but I can't change the fact that a lot of women won't want me automatically due to my height. I just think OLD & different forum topics can mess you up bad if you let it since I literally never thought of my height as negative before I went on a few relationship forums as well as seeing what the preferences are on OLD.

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Guy number one is not shorter than 5'9(176cm) and depending on your height (if you are 5'8 and above) will be always 2 inches (5cm) taller than you and quite handsome (facial aesthetics). Just to visually imagine, at 2 inch taller than you, you would approximately be reaching the upper part of his forehead.

 

Guy number two is as tall as you ideally would like him to be(any height, up to you) but has an average face, definitely not ugly but you wouldn't call him handsome, you can call him 'cute' at most.

 

Both guys have a good athletic body builds for their height.

Please consider any other factors that may influence your decision being equal.

 

If you do choose guy number two, please share with us what's the minimum height difference you would need in order to choose the handsome guy number one?

 

If it's not much to ask for, please mention your height :)

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Huh? Is this for real?

 

I have never chosen a guy based on his height. I guess his face would have something to do with it, but the most important quality is his personality. And his brain. :love:

 

I'm 5'6", not that that matters...

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I don't think most women would make any decisions based on prototypes.

 

Because guys(men) have this very super special ability in their minds to be able to simulate things and make assumptions just based on the facts/theory that has been given to them and make a choice. I thought women have this ability too :(

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Realistically, I'm sure guy #2 would win out maybe just by a little bit due to his height if you asked 100 random women who they would choose. Since some women would be turned off they couldn't wear heels with the shorter guy. Sad, but true.

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Because guys(men) have this very super special ability in their minds to be able to simulate things and make assumptions just based on the facts/theory that has been given to them and make a choice. I thought women have this ability too :(

 

People generally evaluate other 3 dimensional real people for relationship compatibility, not 2 dimensional cutouts of people.

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I would never let height sway my choice to that extent.

 

My height or taller - or actually more important, "bigger" than me, and I am happy. I joke that I don't like sleeping with a man I feel I could beat in a wrestling match.

 

I am a bit over 5' 6" and my husband is 5'10". If I wear heels we are practically the same height. Doesn't bother me.

 

To answer your original question, I would date BOTH and see who I get along better. Skin is really just so deep, I wouldn't let your criteria sway me even for a F' buddy arrangement.

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Cookiesandough

Definitely need more details to choose. Could go either way!! Based on my dating history, I lean more towards guy 2. I'm not as drawn to shorter guys, but this doesn't mean I would not date one with other factors..

 

I dated an guy 5'10 after dating 6'2 xbf and a stark contrast. About build, if a guy is shorter his build is sometimes smaller. This tbh was a bit of a turn off to me, especially in bed naked, as the guy I dated didn't work out, so he had a smallish chest. My 6'2 ex was slim too, but naturally broader chest and it was just sexier. Not a deal breaker at all, though.

 

And since we're being superficial, also prefer taller kids since I'm short lol

Edited by Cookiesandough
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I'm almost 5'3 and have dated both short and tall, and in the end.. I see past both of their height. Go with who makes *you* feel the best.

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Definitely need more details to choose. Could go either way!! Based on my dating history, I lean more towards guy 2. I'm not as drawn to shorter guys, but this doesn't mean I would not date one with other factors..

 

I dated an guy 5'10 after dating 6'2 xbf and a stark contrast. About build, if a guy is shorter his build is sometimes smaller. This tbh was a bit of a turn off to me, especially in bed naked, as the guy I dated didn't work out, so he had a smallish chest. My 6'2 ex was slim too, but naturally broader chest and it was just sexier. Not a deal breaker at all, though.

 

And since we're being superficial, also prefer taller kids since I'm short lol

 

Thank you:) I'm just curious, what's your height?

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I dated an guy 5'10 after dating 6'2 xbf and a stark contrast. About build, if a guy is shorter his build is smaller. This tbh was a bit of a turn off to me, especially in bed naked, as the guy I dated didn't work out, so he had a smallish chest. My 6'2 ex was slim too, but naturally broader chest and it was just sexier. Not a deal breaker at all, though.

 

Shorter doesn't always mean smaller though. One of the things I first noticed about my husband were his broad, powerful shoulders.

 

He played college ball and was a saftie - those guys while not very tall, tend to have a fair bit of bulk..... oh and I swoon for broad shoulders.

 

I love his build, even if it means he has to have all his suits tailored (they never fit is shoulders otherwise).

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Because some guys(men) have this very super special ability in their minds to be able to invent problems that don't exist just based on the facts/theory that has been given to them and make a choice. I thought women have this ability too :(

 

There you go FTFY. :cool:

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Cookiesandough
Thank you:) I'm just curious, what's your height?

 

I'm 5'3" :)

 

Shorter doesn't always mean smaller though. One of the things I first noticed about my husband were his broad, powerful shoulders.

 

He played college ball and was a saftie - those guys while not very tall, tend to have a fair bit of bulk..... oh and I swoon for broad shoulders.

 

I love his build, even if it means he has to have all his suits tailored (they never fit is shoulders otherwise).

 

You're right! I actually edited that. I know the build you're referring to, and it's very attractive:)

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Cookiesandough;7097088]I'm 5'3" :)

 

 

 

so at 5'3 , you would probably prefer to date a guy 6'1 above who has an average face, over 5'9 guy who has handsome face? 5'9 it may mean smaller build, but if it's a nice athletic body build of a 5'9 man, I think it should fit perfectly a woman who is 5'3....

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so at 5'3 , you would probably prefer to date a guy 6'1 above who has an average face, over 5'9 guy who has handsome face? 5'9 it may mean smaller build, but if it's a nice athletic body build of a 5'9 man, I think it should fit perfectly a woman who is 5'3....

 

It's not going to change man. It's really annoying to read those type of posts, but I'm trying so damn hard to not let any of it get to me anymore. It's just a waste of energy to be so angry about some stranger's preference that I don't even know. I guess you just have to find a woman that doesn't care at all about height, which there is quite a bit of them I'm sure.

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Fishfingersareyummy
It's not going to change man. It's really annoying to read those type of posts, but I'm trying so damn hard to not let any of it get to me anymore. It's just a waste of energy to be so angry about some stranger's preference that I don't even know. I guess you just have to find a woman that doesn't care at all about height, which there is quite a bit of them I'm sure.

 

You care too much.

 

I'm 5'5 and I weigh 116 lbs on good day and 118 lbs on ultra good day. I'm short, skinny and I love it. If a majority of women don't then that's fantastic because I don't exist to please them.

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It's not going to change man. It's really annoying to read those type of posts, but I'm trying so damn hard to not let any of it get to me anymore. It's just a waste of energy to be so angry about some stranger's preference that I don't even know. I guess you just have to find a woman that doesn't care at all about height, which there is quite a bit of them I'm sure.

 

heh, nah, I'm actually just mildly shocked about some preferences because they are so different at how I think it should be. But I'm sure there's some reasonable explanation for those, because there's many details here, I'm sure if she sees a handsome 5'9 she would choose him any day over any taller height with average face, I'm just 99% sure, it's just that it's extremely difficult to get precise info from some women about what they would really do in real life. She just compares two of her boyfriends which are exact people, we don't even know how they look and so on and so on...

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heh, nah, I'm actually just mildly shocked about some preferences because they are so different at how I think it should be. But I'm sure there's some reasonable explanation for those, because there's many details here, I'm sure if she sees a handsome 5'9 she would choose him any day over any taller height with average face, I'm just 99% sure, it's just that it's extremely difficult to get precise info from some women about what they would really do in real life. She just compares two of her boyfriends which are exact people, we don't even know how they look and so on and so on...

 

You have to understand though that a lot of women really dislike being taller even in heels. It's supposedly some nonsense about wanting to feel protected with a taller guy no matter what his build is. I just don't get it, it really sucks that that's what women prefer but I can't change it.

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Fishfingersareyummy
heh, nah, I'm actually just mildly shocked about some preferences because they are so different at how I think it should be. But I'm sure there's some reasonable explanation for those, because there's many details here, I'm sure if she sees a handsome 5'9 she would choose him any day over any taller height with average face, I'm just 99% sure, it's just that it's extremely difficult to get precise info from some women about what they would really do in real life. She just compares two of her boyfriends which are exact people, we don't even know how they look and so on and so on...

 

Preferences are preferences and cannot be explained. For example, I am a pale white guy and I am attracted to women with a darker complexion. I also prefer my women to weigh more than me and I like who have frizzy hair instead of straight hair. You can ask me why I like my women as described and I cannot put my finger on it. Similarly my favorite part of a woman's body is her collar bones. I cannot explain why but all I know is these traits start me up.

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You have to understand though that a lot of women really dislike being taller even in heels. It's supposedly some nonsense about wanting to feel protected with a taller guy no matter what his build is. I just don't get it, it really sucks that that's what women prefer but I can't change it.

 

I think if the guy's build is bigger, a woman's being taller than him won't overshadow him, it's all about proportions. Of course the woman being much taller in heels is inconvenience both for the guy and her and looks a bit weird may be, but small differences, up to 2 inches I think is fine. And those who are strict about this rule even if they are a little taller than the guy, well, that's like a guy refusing to date a girl with perfects boobs who are C cup instead of a D cup. It can't go more shallow than that honestly lol. It's also huge social influence, media brainwashing, what other people will think of me, honestly, without all those factors a girl wouldn't mind that much being a bit taller than the guy when in heels, I'm sure!!! :) It has nothing to do with sexuality and attraction, it's most other social factors, which the more prone you are to being brainwashed, the more influenced you are. That's like atheist vs a super firm believer etc...

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