Consolidated Discussion: Height in Dating

[Cookiesandough]

Honestly, that's so weird I don't know what to say, is it something to do with our nature or brainwashing lol.

The only thing I come up with is the shorter the woman is, the bigger chance of having a normal height children when dating a taller guy. Imagine a 5 feet woman with a 5'8 guy. Chances of their kids being tall goes down a lot.

 

But again, that friend who is 5', how old is she, and which country is that? I noticed in USA women tend to obsess about height way more than any other nation?

 

 

How old are they? Have you seen this actually happening in front of you? Have you seen the actual guys who approached them? There are lots of factors....

 

Yeah, it could be the kids thing on a biological level. Maybe to mitigate the height difference? I'm not sure nature works that wayxD . When were talking amongst our friends or even our mom about guys they talk about height and ask "how tall is he???" So yeah there is some social pressure or more a feeling of get confidence for dating something attractive are rare". Also believe it or not you self conscious for being short even as a girl. We're taught girls with supermodel bodies are ideal when those height/proportions are rarer than tall men.

 

I am in the USA so could be the culture. Definitely. I read there is a culture where shortest men are ideal. My friends and early 20s to early 30s. The girl I know who only dates super tall men is 26. Another one is early 20s and I did not see the guy but she had met a guy on tinder and said he was too short for her. She jokingly put up on her profile if they're below 6 she won't talk to them. It is comparable to the weight thing for women and completely rude/inappropriate. But people gonna people.

 

Thanks for bringing up this subject, even though it got merged with another thread. It interests me too, because I want to understand myself and my preference for guys over 6 feet despite plenty of men being way shorter than me. I only noticed this when I actually dated a man I met online who I found handsome. I noticed he was way shorter than my ex when we first met and I'd be lying if I said that didn't disappoint me at first but he was sooo attractive it went to the fore. Then I found out he was 5'10

[Cookiesandough]

Honestly, that's so weird I don't know what to say, is it something to do with our nature or brainwashing lol.

The only thing I come up with is the shorter the woman is, the bigger chance of having a normal height children when dating a taller guy. Imagine a 5 feet woman with a 5'8 guy. Chances of their kids being tall goes down a lot.

 

But again, that friend who is 5', how old is she, and which country is that? I noticed in USA women tend to obsess about height way more than any other nation?

 

 

How old are they? Have you seen this actually happening in front of you? Have you seen the actual guys who approached them? There are lots of factors....

 

Yeah, it could be the kids thing on a biological level. Maybe to mitigate the height difference? I'm not sure nature works that wayxD . When were talking amongst our friends or even our mom about guys they talk about height and ask "how tall is he???" So yeah there is some social pressure or more a feeling of confidence for dating something attractive are rare". Also believe it or not you self conscious for being short even as a girl. We're taught girls with supermodel bodies are ideal when those height/proportions are rarer than tall men.

 

I am in the USA so could be the culture. Definitely. I read there is a culture where shortest men are ideal. My friends and early 20s to early 30s. The girl I know who only dates super tall men is 26. Another one is early 20s and I did not see the guy but she had met a guy on tinder and said he was too short for her. She jokingly put up on her profile if they're below 6 she won't talk to them. It is comparable to the weight thing for women and completely rude/inappropriate. But people gonna people.

 

Thanks for bringing up this subject, even though it got merged with another thread. It interests me too, because I want to understand myself and my preference for guys over 6 feet despite plenty of men being way taller than me. I only noticed this when I actually dated a man I met online who I found handsome. I noticed he was way shorter than my ex when we first met and I'd be lying if I said that didn't disappoint me at first but he was sooo attractive it went to the fore. Then I found out he was 5'10

[njoylife]

Who knows. But the heel factor is true to a lot of women. If a woman loves to wear heels & if she has a big hangup about the guy being shorter than her in heels it's going to make her feel uncomfortable & not feminine anymore. At the end of the day it comes down to the individual person as I said. A lot will care, a lot won't about the heels issue.

 

 

I don't think a lot women will care for a small difference, for a bigger difference both genders guys and girls will care

[jay1983]

I bought myself a pair of cowboy boots that make me 6'1".

 

What's up now

[Fishfingersareyummy]

Yeah, many women are going to prefer a taller guy. This is a fact of life, and not something anyone can really do much about. As such, it is best forgotten. Sitting around complaining that you are not everyone's preference is even more unattractive to women than being short is.

 

Aside from height, something that is very attractive to most women is a man who makes the most of his life. Hit the gym and work out. Go earn a degree and a decent job. Have a social life. Become educated on various topics so you are capable of intelligent conversation. Take a martial art and learn how to protect yourself and those you care about. Pick up some fulfilling, interesting hobbies you can share with others. Become the kind of man that a woman can honestly feel proud to be with. Those are all choices. Or you short guys can ignore all that and just complain about being short for the rest of your lives. Your call.

 

Or we can do all of the above (minus the complaining)for OURSELVES rather than the benefit of women. I am working towards a better life for me and not for women.

[njoylife]

It interests me too, because I want to understand myself and my preference for guys over 6 feet despite plenty of men being way shorter than me. I only noticed this when I actually dated a man I met online who I found handsome. I noticed he was way shorter than my ex when we first met and I'd be lying if I said that didn't disappoint me at first but he was sooo attractive it went to the fore. Then I found out he was 5'10

 

 

Honestly, my opinion is that just pure mind conditioning, a girl your height shouldn't feel disappointed by meeting a guy who is 5'10, that's above average. It's just against your nature, but I guess your mind is conditioned in this way by family/friends/media/society etc, and again, this is in USA mostly, in Europe I have never seen such a thing, it happens but rarely. However what I have seen is the conditioning I'm talking about.... In Eastern Europe where I come from, women are conditioned to like bulky muscly guys, average body build is not enough for them. I went on a date with a skinny girl, and me myself I have a good body build, athletic etc, 185 lbs, good proportions, I'm not a gym freak tho. Well, what she said to me: You need to put more muscles on your hands, how can we date like this? I was like? What the actual f is going on? This is the most clear example of supreme brainwashing, same as height in USA. She's been conditioned. I've dated super hot girls who find my body really attractive and never said a thing about muscles, but some girls in East Europe would mind.

I guess that's your case as well, naturally, without being conditioned you wouldn't mind a guy who is 5'8, 5'9 , 5'10 , with all the ideas you got you are actively changing what you prefer. Still I think it's a fake thing, it's mostly in your mind, once you start dating a bit shorter guys, you will change your conditioning I believe to a point where you wouldn't believe how you were disappointed with a 5'10 guy.

 

There is a difference between what should be normal as per some natural attraction rules and what becomes "normal" when people are conditioned to believe something that's not necessary natural to them.

 

Especially this "looming" thing you are talking about and feeling more feminine, I would go as far as saying that without the conditioning you have, you wouldn't feel that looming and you would feel equally feminine with a 5'10. Why am I saying this? I myself have gone through similar things with girls, but only for few months for certain things. And I can assure you that if you believe something strong enough(in regards to dating/sexual attraction), it can influence how you feel when you are exposed to that thing.

 

You've been conditioned to believe that a guy who looms over you should make you feel more feminine, and you've heard this 100 of times from your childhood till today and you were getting this ideas reconfirmed by your friends/forums/society etc. Of course , when you see such a guy it's inevitable to start feeling good, you finally found what you believed is good for you. IT doesn't mean that's your nature. It's a very weird thing.

I was conditioned to believe I like girls with big boobs only, I wouldn't even feel enough attracted when I'm dating girl with average breasts. I would feel big boobs make her more feminine and Would feel way more attracted to her than other women, that was until I met a girl with average ones, who I had a small relationship with, who completely changed my ideals about boobs and what I like and not. Now I find girls with average breasts as feminine as the ones with the big cleavage. That's exactly what's happening with the HEIGHT thingy....

Edited October 20, 2016 by njoylife

[njoylife]

I noticed he was way shorter than my ex when we first met and I'd be lying if I said that didn't disappoint me at first but he was sooo attractive it went to the fore. Then I found out he was 5'10

 

So when some time passed, do you think it was worth feeling disappointed about it? Did you feel he was lacking something regarding to height when you were together later on? Or it was just an initial reaction which got overruled by your nature, and your nature doesn't care 5'10 or 6'3 Next time when you meet a guy 5'10 would you have this disappointment again once you went over this scenario?

[Cookiesandough]

Haha no I just noticed he wasnt as tall as guy I usually go for thenmoved on. Maybe it wasn't height as much as he wasn't built... Like he had a smaller frame. It only made me realize again he was not like taller men when we were in bed. Legs shorter and torso was smaller even though he did have some muscle tone and good proportions for his height. .I tried not to concentrate on it in bed because it was an absolute turn off and so many other things about him were a turn on. Maybe he just needed to work out .We actually broke up due to my own insecurities xD

Edited October 20, 2016 by Cookiesandough

[njoylife]

Haha no I just noticed he wasnt as tall as guy I usually go for thenmoved on. Maybe it wasn't height as much as he wasn't built... Like he had a smaller frame. It only made me realize again he was not like taller men when we were in bed. Legs shorter and torso was smaller even though he did have some muscle tone and good proportions for his height. .I tried not to concentrate on it in bed because it was an absolute turn off and so many other things about him were a turn on. Maybe he just needed to work out .We actually broke up due to my own insecurities xD

 

hah, like how small was the guy? skinny af? How much do you think he weights Another thing is when you go out of relationship and when you go with a new person, you are just used to being with the ex in your mind, so even a small negative difference may seem big

But no really, was he like average build for his height or tiny build?

[insert_name]

Honestly, you lot crack me up with all this nonsense about height.

 

According to the stat earlier 15% of guys are 6 ft and over- so at 6'1 that puts me in this fabled 15% so I'm basically rare as rocking horse **** right? Well, no girl is beating a path to my door on Tinder or other OLD sites, let me tell you and I make sure that my height is well advertised. Yet a guy who I work with who does the same role as me so same income, same social strata etc is a good few inches shorter than me so comfortably under 6ft and he has got more girls than he can shake a stick at throwing themselves at him on Tinder.

 

The only place height really makes a difference is Match, but that is the uber-elite site for women who want marriage and kids like, yesterday. In all other walks of life it isn't about height at all, it is about how you market yourself.

[njoylife]

Cookie, was he skinny like that? lol

 

https://i.imgsafe.org/945ab066f3.jpg

 

Legs shorter and torso was smaller even though he did have some muscle tone and good proportions for his height. .I tried not to concentrate on it in bed because it was an absolute turn off and so many other things about him were a turn on.

 

Legs shorter is not about body build, but 5'10 is not a short guy, are you sure he was 5'10 not 5'8 and he just lied to you?

If he had good proportions for his height and wasn't unpleasantly skinny and you found it a MAJOR turn off I don't know then Clueless That's just weird

Edited October 20, 2016 by njoylife

[Cookiesandough]

hah, like how small was the guy? skinny af? How much do you think he weights Another thing is when you go out of relationship and when you go with a new person, you are just used to being with the ex in your mind, so even a small negative difference may seem big

But no really, was he like average build for his height or tiny build?

 

 

 

 

Lol he wasn't that skinny he had abs and stuff. He had "average" on his profile I guess he was. He doesn't lift at all!!

Honestly, you lot crack me up with all this nonsense about height.

 

According to the stat earlier 15% of guys are 6 ft and over- so at 6'1 that puts me in this fabled 15% so I'm basically rare as rocking horse **** right? Well, no girl is beating a path to my door on Tinder or other OLD sites, let me tell you and I make sure that my height is well advertised. Yet a guy who I work with who does the same role as me so same income, same social strata etc is a good few inches shorter than me so comfortably under 6ft and he has got more girls than he can shake a stick at throwing themselves at him on Tinder.[ /B]

 

The only place height really makes a difference is Match, but that is the uber-elite site for women who want marriage and kids like, yesterday. In all other walks of life it isn't about height at all, it is about how you market yourself.

 

 

this sounds hard to believe, just because the nature of tinder? Is he sure they are not bots? Bots/camgirls make up like 60% of tinder I heard. I know good looking guys who pull girls really easily in person who have trouble online. What do you think makes him different than you?

[njoylife]

Honestly, you lot crack me up with all this nonsense about height.

 

According to the stat earlier 15% of guys are 6 ft and over- so at 6'1 that puts me in this fabled 15% so I'm basically rare as rocking horse **** right? Well, no girl is beating a path to my door on Tinder or other OLD sites, let me tell you and I make sure that my height is well advertised. Yet a guy who I work with who does the same role as me so same income, same social strata etc is a good few inches shorter than me so comfortably under 6ft and he has got more girls than he can shake a stick at throwing themselves at him on Tinder.

 

The only place height really makes a difference is Match, but that is the uber-elite site for women who want marriage and kids like, yesterday. In all other walks of life it isn't about height at all, it is about how you market yourself.

 

coz he prolly handsome

[Cookiesandough]

He was not that skinny xD he was average. He may have been lying by an inch but he was inches taller than me even in heeldjust no tall enough for my preference but it didn't matter. I'd wish it could have worked out with him because he was hot

[njoylife]

He was not that skinny xD he was average. He may have been lying by an inch but he was inches taller than me even in heeldjust no tall enough for my preference but it didn't matter. I'd wish it could have worked out with him because he was hot ��

 

Yeah right, short legs, skinny, major turn off to the point where you try not to think about it during sex and you call him hot? That's a major contradiction, doesn't add up haha Girls will be girls

[Cookiesandough]

Must be super handsome or just low standards :s it's a really awful numbers game for guys online...add in bots, catfish, attention seekers it just gets worse. Not saying it's a cakewalk for all women either

Edited October 20, 2016 by Cookiesandough

[insert_name]

Lol he wasn't that skinny he had abs and stuff. He had "average" on his profile I guess he was. He doesn't lift at all!!

 

 

 

this sounds hard to believe, just because the nature of tinder? Is he sure they are not bots? Bots/camgirls make up like 60% of tinder I heard. I know good looking guys who pull girls really easily in person who have trouble online. What do you think makes him different than you?

 

He has character, quite a lot of self-confidence (to an annoying degree on occasion). Imo he is maybe slightly above average looking, because of that I don't think it is looks he is trading on, more he is able to market his personality quite well. If you can make yourself look fun and interesting to spend time with (as well as avoiding looking unattractive) then women will go for it regardless of your height.

[NJ123]

Must be super handsome or just low standards :s it's a really awful numbers game for guys online...add in bots, catfish, attention seekers it just gets worse. Not saying it's a cakewalk for all women either

 

Only good looking guys with good jobs & attractive women have a lot of options on online dating. Average looking omen will have a lot of options too, but more so for no strings attached sex than for guys looking for relationships with them. So I'm not sure if that's a good thing or bad thing for them, mainly depends on what the woman is looking for.

[insert_name]

Only good looking guys with good jobs & attractive women have a lot of options on online dating. Average looking omen will have a lot of options too, but more so for no strings attached sex than for guys looking for relationships with them. So I'm not sure if that's a good thing or bad thing for them, mainly depends on what the woman is looking for.

 

Keep believing that if it makes you feel better, ultimately it is only yourself you are hurting by having that mindset.

[NJ123]

Keep believing that if it makes you feel better, ultimately it is only yourself you are hurting by having that mindset.

 

I'm not saying average people don't have options through OLD, but nowhere near close as many as attractive people. All I needed to see is what I saw for myself on match.com. Again, it is what it is, but there's no disputing that OLD is very difficult for a whole lot of people.

[Cookiesandough]

I'm not saying average people don't have options through OLD, but nowhere near close as many as attractive people. All I needed to see is what I saw for myself on match.com. Again, it is what it is, but there's no disputing that OLD is very difficult for a whole lot of people.

 

 

I agree, sadly. As an average girl, I get bombarded with male attention online. From those, only a few guys I would consider dropping my panties for/dating. From THOSE, only a few I believe might consider me more than just a lay. That is who I communicate with/go out with. I believe most women who are of any semblance quality/have any standard do this filtering as well. Maybe not the latter if they're looking for NSA, but they might be pickier about looks. It's pretty much what everyone is going on online. You can't observe many other characteristics about a person besides a short description that you have to be moved by their appearance to even read

 

if I drop my standards in looks/combatibility then I'm absolutely swimming in guys it's ocktoberfest. But no thx not that desperate. maybe most men there are i don't know.

 

 

Sorry thread has been derailrd

Edited October 20, 2016 by Cookiesandough

[njoylife]

Cookie, what's your body build, may be if you have bigger build that's why u need bigger guys to feel feminine Was your 'short guy' bigger than you or you were bigger than him?

[Fishfingersareyummy]

Keep believing that if it makes you feel better, ultimately it is only yourself you are hurting by having that mindset.

 

He needs to get off OLD. It seems like a shallow-fest where people are judged too harshly, it doesn't seem like a natural platform, it seems horrid and I haven't experienced it (thank goodness).

 

NJ would be better served by closing down his online dating account(s) and going to look for women in a natural environment. He should seek to establish new friends and network that way.

[NJ123]

He needs to get off OLD. It seems like a shallow-fest where people are judged too harshly, it doesn't seem like a natural platform, it seems horrid and I haven't experienced it (thank goodness).

 

NJ would be better served by closing down his online dating account(s) and going to look for women in a natural environment. He should seek to establish new friends and network that way.

 

I only have Tinder/Bumble these days. I got rid of my other accounts. I only have to spend a few minutes a day on those apps since it's about getting matches & not having a whole bunch of profiles to look at at once in general.

 

But the only issue is that the vast majority of single people use OLD these days so it's going to be difficult to meet someone in real life that isn't already looking online. I've even by chance seen a few women that came into my job to be on online dating apps. It just seems to be the go to thing now to meet people unless you live in a big city area where you can easily meet people when out.

[Fishfingersareyummy]

I only have Tinder/Bumble these days. I got rid of my other accounts. I only have to spend a few minutes a day on those apps since it's about getting matches & not having a whole bunch of profiles to look at at once in general.

 

But the only issue is that the vast majority of single people use OLD these days so it's going to be difficult to meet someone in real life that isn't already looking online. I've even by chance seen a few women that came into my job to be on online dating apps. It just seems to be the go to thing now to meet people unless you live in a big city area where you can easily meet people when out.

 

Plenty of single people don't just rely on dating apps to get dates, I don't know who's leg you're trying to pull here but what you've posted is not true. Also you can use online dating apps while going out and meeting women. Why does one form of dating have to take precedence over another? If you aren't having the best luck with online dating then isn't it a good idea to try new methods?