Consolidated Discussion: Height in Dating

[kmack513]

It came up very rarely from petite women - maybe three or four times in all.

 

One time my 5' ex said I was pretty short for a guy. But I like towered over her come on.

 

Or they would randomly say they liked tall guys.

 

Seems common that shorter women like much taller guys, like an overcompensation thing.

[NuevoYorko]

I'm not saying average people don't have options through OLD, but nowhere near close as many as attractive people.

Is this news? Attractive people always have and always will have more options when it comes to dating. Sais la vie.

[shawtydancer]

Guy 1) 6’0+, average looks, good personality, funny, great body, great dresser

Guy 2) 5’9 tall, really good looking, good personalty, funny, great body, great dresser

 

So basically if two guys were the same, but one was 6ft+ but had average looks, apposed to someone who was shorter, 5’9 but was really good looking. Honestly, which one would you pick? Also please mention how tall you are aswell as your age. thanks!

 

Bare in mind, both of them fulfill all your need's such as jobs, career, money, how good they are in bed etc etc.

[Toodaloo]

Neither.

 

Neither sounds all that great to be honest. All you have listed here is superficial.

 

Where is the loyalty, caring, philanthropic nature, generosity etc? What are their views on life and how do they treat others?

 

These two could be anyone and I don't find that attractive at all. Yes they may be great looking or reasonable looking but thats not going to matter by the time they loose their teeth have wrinkles and a pot belly is it?

 

5ft 5 and too old to give a damn about stuff like this.

[anika99]

Obviously you pick the one that you are most attracted to and who's personality appeals to you the most. There is no way I could choose based on the info you have given. I would have to meet them both to know which one I like the most

[JuneJulySeptember]

Most of the stuff I post here is total garbage and serves as breaks during work or mindless downtime.

 

But every now and then, I think of some idea/epiphany that has really helped me with life and typically has taken me many, many years to realize and think I could help speed along the process for somebody else and make life better for them...

 

So, there used to be a lot posted about men's height, and some guys really torn up over it, perhaps not as much recently, maybe I just haven't been around as much or looking in the right places. So, maybe it's kind of out of place right now, but whatever...

 

So, for most of my life, I've been self conscious of my height. I'm about 5'4", 5'5" on a good day (5'4.5" you could say, but I'll get into why that's dumb). One of the things I used to do was measure myself in the mornings and if I came out 5'5", I'd be happy that day. It goes without saying that if somebody made a joke about my height, I'd be down.

 

That happens much rarer these days.

 

The difference is before I was playing the game of "At least I'm not..."

 

It goes like this. "I'm 5'8" and I'm not tall but at least I'm not 5'5", I'd kill myself", or "I'm 5'5" but at least I'm not 5'2", I'd kill myself", or "I'm 5'2" but at least I'm not a little person." Etc.

 

Your confidence is only as strong as being able to rank yourself above 'some' group of guys. And that is bad.

 

See, I truly believe that if I woke up tomorrow and I was 4'2" or shorter, I'd be the same guy. I'd love the same music, movies, jokes. My worth would be the same. I mean, seriously, we're so shallow of a society that people have to say 5'8 AND A HALF. Who gives a f@ck about a half inch?

 

Now, you'll say ... 90% of the world doesn't think like this. 90% of the world is shallow and prejudice about height and it goes beyond dating.

 

Well. That's their problem, not yours. Maybe you won't be hanging out with as many people as you used to...

 

But all that matters is your mentality, and in my experience the more you can break out of the "At least I'm not..." game, the happier you'll be. And it works, for the most part. But you truly have to believe that guys who are shorter are no worse off. In other words, you don't 'make up for it' by becoming rich, or getting a doctorate, or a bodybuilder, because that's just playing right back into the game that'd you'd be a nothing if you were just a 'normal, short guy'.

Edited April 11, 2017 by JuneJulySeptember

[curiouslysearching]

That was a great post IMO....each of us compares ourselves to someone

else at some point in our lives (whether we choose to admit it or not).

I played a sport for a long time and I always did it....am I faster, stronger

the list goes on.....I guess it is natural especially for us that are hyper competitive.....kinda of a measuring stick of sorts. As far as the topic

of height I have always considered myself to be short 6'1 1/2 so I guess

it is relative as far as what your aspire to be or what your view of TALL is...

[JuneJulySeptember]

That was a great post IMO....each of us compares ourselves to someone

else at some point in our lives (whether we choose to admit it or not).

I played a sport for a long time and I always did it....am I faster, stronger

the list goes on.....I guess it is natural especially for us that are hyper competitive.....kinda of a measuring stick of sorts. As far as the topic

of height I have always considered myself to be short 6'1 1/2 so I guess

it is relative as far as what your aspire to be or what your view of TALL is...

 

Thanks. This one got discarded into the garbage pile pretty quickly. Just goes to show. People are completely different. Anyway it has been helpful to me.

[Lilyana76]

I'm 5'1" What I don't like is when people tell me "oh you are so tiny and cute" or "you are pocketsized!" Or they try to pick me up, ALL THE TIME. I am 40 years old, I don't want to be "cute". Treat me like a grown woman.

 

As far as a mans height goes, I do prefer taller, but then again, everyone is pretty much taller than me. My ex husband is 6'3". The last man I dated was 5'10". Maybe I just prefer someone that can reach the top shelf for me, so I don't have to drag the footstool out again.

 

I don't think I really have a preference for height though. I wouldn't exclude a man as a possibility just because they weren't tall.

[OatsAndHall]

Someone should start a thread "How important is someones weight to you?"

 

Either every other person will contradict their previous posts or their answers will be vague.

 

"Don't judge a book by covers! Even if it is chubby!"

 

Or

 

"Uhhmmm, well, I mean, I don't carry a scale around with me.. So... This is like a hard question to answer.."

 

 

Back to the OP: if you're self-confident, can hold a conversation, and treat people with respect, then your height won't matter to the majority of women. Personality goes a long way in the dating world. Even those that use it as a standard for dating.

[LookAtThisPOst]

 

I don't think I really have a preference for height though. I wouldn't exclude a man as a possibility just because they weren't tall.

 

Believe it or not, some do. I recently saw a woman that's 5'0" expected her man to be no less than 5'10". No joke. I'm 5'8", so you'd think any guy, to her, would be considered tall.

[elaine567]

Believe it or not, some do. I recently saw a woman that's 5'0" expected her man to be no less than 5'10". No joke. I'm 5'8", so you'd think any guy, to her, would be considered tall.

 

She may be short but there is nothing wrong with her eyesight.

She is perfectly capable of realising that a man at 5'8" in a Western society is not going to be the tallest guy in the room, at best he is average and at worst he is the shortest.

She is not comparing her height to yours, she is comparing your height to the other taller guys she could potentially date.

Height is obviously very important, to her.

[LookAtThisPOst]

She may be short but there is nothing wrong with her eyesight.

She is perfectly capable of realising that a man at 5'8" in a Western society is not going to be the tallest guy in the room, at best he is average and at worst he is the shortest.

She is not comparing her height to yours, she is comparing your height to the other taller guys she could potentially date.

Height is obviously very important, to her.

 

I'm not sure I understand you're getting at, other than stating the obvious, but the point I was driving at is that she's being highly unrealistic. If anything, her options should be quite sizable given her size.

[AugustSnow]

I don't believe anyone made a thread about this, and if they did, I apologize in advance. I want to know, to you, what is considered "tall" for a woman and what is considered "short" for a man?

[stillafool]

I'm 5'6 without heels and people refer to me as tall. I'm a woman.

[SevenCity]

For women, I consider over 5'5" tall (or too tall for me). 5'9" or more is REALLY tall in my book.

 

For guys, 5'10" or taller I consider tall. Over 6'4" is giant proportions.

 

For reference, I am 6'0" and am considered tall by most guys / women.

[Els]

I'd say a tall woman is over 5'4", and a short man is below 5'6". But being Asian probably colors my judgement a bit here...

[CautiouslyOptimistic]

Tall: 5'8" and over for a woman; maybe even 5'9". 5'11" for a man.

 

Short: 5'2" for a woman. 5'6" for a man.

[Michelle ma Belle]

It's all relative.

 

I'm 5'4" and am usually labeled 'average' height so any woman 5'7" or over would be considered tall in my world.

 

As for men, I would consider any man 5'10" or more to be classified as tall.

[RecentChange]

I am 5’6” barefoot (and a woman) – do I consider myself tall? Hum… not really, I am a bit over average, tallish? I guess some guys consider me tall though

 

For men, personally I wouldn’t put a guy into the “tall” category until he was 6’ or over.

 

Now… demographics also come into play. When I am with a group of my female friends who have a lot of northern European heritage – I feel short! A number of those ladies are in the 5’9 – 6’ range. But, when I am in a part of San Francisco with a dense Asian population, then I feel tall.

 

The average height for man in the US is 5’9.5”. The average height for a female in the US is 5’4”.

 

Here is an interesting chart showing average heights around the world.

 

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_average_human_height_worldwide

[nospam99]

A number of years ago I saw a docu on PBS about romance. One of their conclusions was that from a purely physical attraction standpoint, men's highest priority (not the only one of course) was a woman's waist to hip ratio. Women's was the man's height.

 

I recently started a thread about women's bodies. That thread has gotten some controversy swirling around what makes a woman 'hot'. But looking in my own psychological mirror, I'll go with the conclusion of that old docu: waist to hip ratio is very significant.

 

Now put the shoe on the other foot. I see a lot of threads here on LS started by both men and women essentially complaining that they are frustrated by 'not meeting anyone'. It's got me wondering ... how much of those problems can be attributed simply to 'short coming' with respect to waist to hip ratio or to height.

 

It's tacky to question an OP who's having trouble 'meeting or dating' about their bodies. But that question comes up from time to time. Responders to the threads more often steer the thread to personality factors.

 

But I'm wondering about men and height. I'm 5'8'', which I see as shorter than average. I do my meeting on OLD and I generally avoid contacting women who say in their profiles that they want to date tall men (Match allows users to easily specify a numeric range of sought heights). At least one 'short' woman I asked responded that she likes to wear heels and that was a factor in her filter being for men several inches taller than she is. So what I'm coming around to asking is how much of the problem LS guys who can't get dates are having is because they're short? Would it be helpful to understand the problem if they put their height in the OP or if the first responder asked? (And back on the other foot, should women who post about having dating trouble be expected to specify their waist to hip ratio?)

Edited July 31, 2018 by nospam99

[c.a.f.]

I am quite tall and I only do okay with the ladies, probably because I'm ugly as ****. But I think height matters to women because they like feeling small, like a child with their daddy (yes).

 

As for hip to waist ratio, absolutely it's sexy, but sometimes it's the face that gets me first, then I scan down the body to see the curves. It's not as creepy as I'm making it sound. We all do it, in our own ways and with whatever features we consider attractive about women. Men are visual creatures, we look for visual signs of fertility when choosing a mate. Great birthing hips are certainly something we visually consider.

[SevenCity]

I can’t speak to the question per se, but I am tall and dated many women who commented how they liked it and would not date short guys.

 

And I agree, they like to feel small and have a daddy

[alphamale]

all the tall guys I know (6' 2"+) have no problem getting chicks

[major_merrick]

It depends on the woman. I know some girls that greatly prefer to date a guy who is 6 foot or taller. Considering that some of these girls are short and the average man in America is 5'8" or 5'9", I think it is kind of ridiculous.

 

Other women don't care much. My husband's ex-wife was a full two inches taller than him. I'm a couple inches shorter than my husband, so it doesn't matter to me...but if he were big and tall I might have an issue with that. In relationships with other girls, I'd rather not be much shorter than my partner, though. Ideally, my partner is fairly close to my height. I don't want to feel like a kid, thanks.