Consolidated Discussion: Height in Dating

[Wade Lamare]

heh, nah, I'm actually just mildly shocked about some preferences because they are so different at how I think it should be. But I'm sure there's some reasonable explanation for those, because there's many details here, I'm sure if she sees a handsome 5'9 she would choose him any day over any taller height with average face, I'm just 99% sure, it's just that it's extremely difficult to get precise info from some women about what they would really do in real life. She just compares two of her boyfriends which are exact people, we don't even know how they look and so on and so on...

 

It's extremely difficult to get precise info because it is primarily a visceral thing.

 

There are so many variables to take into account and some of those variables will change day to day, month to month.

 

Women, as men are, are attracted to many different things and I strongly believe that some we aren't even aware of.

[NJ123]

I think if the guy's build is bigger, a woman's being taller than him won't overshadow him, it's all about proportions. Of course the woman being much taller in heels is inconvenience both for the guy and her and looks a bit weird may be, but small differences, up to 2 inches I think is fine. And those who are strict about this rule even if they are a little taller than the guy, well, that's like a guy refusing to date a girl with perfects boobs who are C cup instead of a D cup. It can't go more shallow than that honestly lol. It's also huge social influence, media brainwashing, what other people will think of me, honestly, without all those factors a girl wouldn't mind that much being a bit taller than the guy when in heels, I'm sure!!! It has nothing to do with sexuality and attraction, it's most other social factors, which the more prone you are to being brainwashed, the more influenced you are. That's like atheist vs a super firm believer etc...

 

I do agree that to an extent it likely has to do with how society views taller as better in general. So maybe a lot of women feel they'll have higher social status with a taller guy? Who really knows the true reasoning, but it's unfortunate that they'll leave out many good guys just due to something they have no control over.

[RecentChange]

, it's just that it's extremely difficult to get precise info from some women about what they would really do in real life. .

 

Because you are not addressing the vast number of variables that affect the choice, hence you are getting"bad data".

 

Look, I have a degree in sociology. I have reviewed and even conducted a number of social research projects.

 

The most difficult hurdle in attempting to collect "good data" and reliable stats is controlling for the variables.

 

This is easy to do in a lab setting, and EXTREMELY difficult to do out in the real world.

 

You are asking us to compare apples to oranges, and make a definitive choice. There are too many vairables between men to say "yes, always the taller one".

 

Your "study" is flawed from the get go.

 

If all variables were accounted for (ie two otherwise identical men, one short, one tall), women will choose taller the vast majority of the time.

 

Once you start throwing in variables, build, personality, intelligence, good looks - and in my mind the most important, social skills - your data will be all over the place, as each of these variables have different levels of importance from one woman to the next.

 

Then you have causation vs. correlation.

 

Are women drawn to taller men, simply because of the extra inches? Or perhaps taller men have more confidence due to a lifetime of special treatment, and in turn it's that confidence that attracts women, but height gets misconstrued as the dominating variable?

 

You aren't getting the answers you want, not because women are fickle or silly; it's because things are not so black and white.

[Wade Lamare]

Because you are not addressing the vast number of variables that affect the choice, hence you are getting"bad data".

 

Look, I have a degree in sociology. I have reviewed and even conducted a number of social research projects.

 

The most difficult hurdle in attempting to collect "good data" and reliable stats is controlling for the variables.

 

This is easy to do in a lab setting, and EXTREMELY difficult to do out in the real world.

 

You are asking us to compare apples to oranges, and make a definitive choice. There are too many vairables between men to say "yes, always the taller one".

 

Your "study" is flawed from the get go.

 

If all variables were accounted for (ie two otherwise identical men, one short, one tall), women will choose taller the vast majority of the time.

 

Once you start throwing in variables, build, personality, intelligence, good looks - and in my mind the most important, social skills - your data will be all over the place, as each of these variables have different levels of importance from one woman to the next.

 

Then you have causation vs. correlation.

 

Are women drawn to taller men, simply because of the extra inches? Or perhaps taller men have more confidence due to a lifetime of special treatment, and in turn it's that confidence that attracts women, but height gets misconstrued as the dominating variable?

 

You aren't getting the answers you want, not because women are fickle or silly; it's because things are not so black and white.

 

Yeah.

 

That's what I meant to say.

[Miss Spider]

so at 5'3 , you would probably prefer to date a guy 6'1 above who has an average face, over 5'9 guy who has handsome face? 5'9 it may mean smaller build, but if it's a nice athletic body build of a 5'9 man, I think it should fit perfectly a woman who is 5'3....

 

I chose a handsome 5'10 guy over average 6'4 guys ' I was dating one. So there is way more to do with it then height. When on dating apps, I don't put a dating req down because I'm not missing out on a great guy being picky over an inch. But OVERALL, I have been more attracted to taller guys with 'average' faces more often than short guys with 'conventionally handsome' ones. I think it boils down to build a very important factor to me. I like a guy who looms over me. It makes me feel more feminine. And yes even to me at my height, there is a difference. When I wear 4in heels I'm 5'7. Some of friends and I were talking about tallest guy we dated and one shorter than I am said she dated a 6'6" football player.

Edited October 20, 2016 by Cookiesandough

[njoylife]

I do agree that to an extent it likely has to do with how society views taller as better in general. So maybe a lot of women feel they'll have higher social status with a taller guy? Who really knows the true reasoning, but it's unfortunate that they'll leave out many good guys just due to something they have no control over.

 

That's a negative thinking, they do have control over that lol, if she's a bit smarter she wouldn't care, why do you even need to date a woman who has this as a deciding factor? That's like super shallow And the good news is, even if they say they wouldn't date a guy shorter than them, since it's a form of social brainwashing and doesn't actually have to do with the actual sexual attraction(which comes natural to people), just disregards what she says/thinks and go for it despite her believes, if there's an actual sexual attraction between you to, in most cases she would disregards the social brainwashing and go for you, natural sexual attraction is always stronger than the fake ideas in her head acquired through brainwash, trust me.

[njoylife]

Because you are not addressing the vast number of variables that affect the choice, hence you are getting"bad data".

 

Look, I have a degree in sociology. I have reviewed and even conducted a number of social research projects.

 

The most difficult hurdle in attempting to collect "good data" and reliable stats is controlling for the variables.

 

You're smart af, marry me. #nosarcasm

 

Honestly, love your post, I got few mental orgasms while reading it

[NJ123]

That's a negative thinking, they do have control over that lol, if she's a bit smarter she wouldn't care, why do you even need to date a woman who has this as a deciding factor? That's like super shallow And the good news is, even if they say they wouldn't date a guy shorter than them, since it's a form of social brainwashing and doesn't actually have to do with the actual sexual attraction(which comes natural to people), just disregards what she says/thinks and go for it despite her believes, if there's an actual sexual attraction between you to, in most cases she would disregards the social brainwashing and go for you, natural sexual attraction is always stronger than the fake ideas in her head acquired through brainwash, trust me.

 

Yeah, they have control over it, but if a lot of women want a taller guy they're going to make sure they wind up with a taller guy or stay single. Some are more lenient where they still would rather be with a tall guy, but would still give shorter men a chance. Than there's the ones that don't care either way. I've heard of a very small minority that actually prefer short guys in general over tall but that's probably if I were to guess less than 1% of women. I think it's maybe true what women say they want & whom they won't wind up with isn't the same, but it probably varies by individual person.

[njoylife]

I chose a handsome 5'10 guy over average 6'4 guys ' I was dating one. So there is way more to do with it then height. When on dating apps, I don't put a dating req down because I'm not missing out on a great guy being picky over an inch. But OVERALL, I have been more attracted to taller guys with 'average' faces more often than short guys with 'conventionally handsome' ones. I think it boils down to build a very important factor to me. I like a guy who looms over me. It makes me feel more feminine. And yes even to me at my height, there is a difference. When I wear 4in heels I'm 5'7. Some of friends and I were talking about tallest guy we dated and one shorter than I am said she dated a 6'6" football player.

 

This is very interesting, how come so many women don't care much about this "Looming" feeling and some care a lot about it. It's really perplexing.

I don't get any feeling of being a protector or being more masculine when I'm dating a super short girl, how come this thing is exclusive only for females? That's the weirdest thing ever

 

May be you don't like conventionally handsome faces, it's about the energy of the guy, so many variables. But still, you say you like this looming feeling , so you can't get this from any 5'9 guy, no matter other factors. Height is height.

Jasom Statham is 5'9 but very nice body build, do you think would feel equally feminine in his presence or a guy that you like that has his body build when compared to a taller guy that's literally looming over you?

Edited October 20, 2016 by njoylife

[Fishfingersareyummy]

Yeah, they have control over it, but if a lot of women want a taller guy they're going to make sure they wind up with a taller guy or stay single. Some are more lenient where they still would rather be with a tall guy, but would still give shorter men a chance. Than there's the ones that don't care either way. I've heard of a very small minority that actually prefer short guys in general over tall but that's probably if I were to guess less than 1% of women. I think it's maybe true what women say they want & whom they won't wind up with isn't the same, but it probably varies by individual person.

 

Most men and women settle because humans naturally have very high opinions of themselves and feel they are entitled to the very best in life because they overestimate themselves and when they realize they aren't going to get their ideal partner they start whittling down their criteria list and eventually settle.

 

In the case of women they fool around with the bad boys and then settle for the steady Eddie, a guy who they would have rejected a decade before but now feel like is the safe and secure bet.

[Miss Spider]

Yeah, they have control over it, but if a lot of women want a taller guy they're going to make sure they wind up with a taller guy or stay single. .

Yes I know girls like this personally. They won't even consider a guy under 6'. I don't get it AT ALL. I figure it must be an social status thing because usually they either stay single and complain they can't find a good guy or date tall guys who cheat on them or generally treat them like crap. (This is different than my friends who don't care and incidentally have tall bfs. I'm talking the women who specify they NEED x characteristic)

[njoylife]

Yeah, they have control over it, but if a lot of women want a taller guy they're going to make sure they wind up with a taller guy or stay single. Some are more lenient where they still would rather be with a tall guy, but would still give shorter men a chance. Than there's the ones that don't care either way. I've heard of a very small minority that actually prefer short guys in general over tall but that's probably if I were to guess less than 1% of women. I think it's maybe true what women say they want & whom they won't wind up with isn't the same, but it probably varies by individual person.

 

Well, if they are so strict about it, good luck, let them go for always being shorter even on high heels

 

I've heard of a very small minority that actually prefer short guys in general over tall but that's probably if I were to guess less than 1% of women.

 

No woman would prefer a guy shorter than her when she is without heels.

I also wouldn't prefer dating a taller woman than me if she is not wearing heels.

But, if you have a case where the guy is taller 3-4 inches at least and the other guy is much taller 5-6-7-8, here it doesn't matter that much anymore. If a certain threshold of being taller is passed, which for women usually is around 3-4 inches, height gets a low value after that comparing to other traits/features.

[Fishfingersareyummy]

Yes I know girls like this personally. They won't even consider a guy under 6'. I don't get it AT ALL. I figure it must be an social status thing because usually they either stay single and complain they can't find a good guy or date tall guys who cheat on them or generally treat them like crap. (This is different than my friends who don't care and incidentally have tall bfs. I'm talking the women who specify they NEED x characteristic)

 

They'll settle for a shorter guy when they realize that they face the prospect of being single for the long-term. This seems to happen with some women.

 

 

 

 

No woman would prefer a guy shorter than her when she is without heels.

 

How do you know?

Edited October 20, 2016 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Merge

[njoylife]

Yes I know girls like this personally. They won't even consider a guy under 6'. I don't get it AT ALL. I figure it must be an social status thing because usually they either stay single and complain they can't find a good guy or date tall guys who cheat on them or generally treat them like crap. (This is different than my friends who don't care and incidentally have tall bfs. I'm talking the women who specify they NEED x characteristic)

 

And again, those same friends of yours, I'm curious if they are at a bar, and one of them is at 5'2, 5'3 and a 5'9 cute, nice build masculine guy goes to flirt with her, and you can see that their "chemistry" is just good, I just can't believe that they would think: "I'm not going to date this guy because while he is much taller than me at 5'9 he is not 6 and over" that's just impossible, that's crazy and insane honestly , I have to see it to believe it. They are just talking......that's just against all common sense and natural attraction and against everything Height simply cannot be that that that that important, if it actually happens and I see this happening in real life, I would think that's the most brainwashed girl in the world, like so brainwashed that you can make her to do anything with enough manipulation techniques lol.

Edited October 20, 2016 by njoylife

[NJ123]

Well, if they are so strict about it, good luck, let them go for always being shorter even on high heels

 

 

 

No woman would prefer a guy shorter than her when she is without heels.

I also wouldn't prefer dating a taller woman than me if she is not wearing heels.

But, if you have a case where the guy is taller 3-4 inches at least and the other guy is much taller 5-6-7-8, here it doesn't matter that much anymore. If a certain threshold of being taller is passed, which for women usually is around 3-4 inches, height gets a low value after that comparing to other traits/features.

 

The thing is those women still wind up with someone even with those standards, especially if they're attractive enough. Attractive women can hold out for specific traits they want due to having a lot of options. What's a bit weird though is that a lot of women can clearly state they don't want a short guy & there's no hate towards them in society, but if a guy says he's not dating women over a specific weight than all hell breaks loose & if it was some famous guy that for some reason said that he'd be given death threats thrown his way on social media most likely.

 

I've heard of some woman not caring if she's taller in heels, but the majority do care. And the ones that prefer short guys tend to be the women that are really short themselves. So some 5'1" women prefer guys that are maybe in the 5'4"-5'8" range at most & think it would be too awkward for them if they're going with a guy a foot taller. So it's like with some women where they want someone taller than them but not too much taller. Than there's some that have an actually fetish for it which I've heard about, where some tall women only exclusively date short guys. That's probably really rare but I seen a video on it where it just turns them on that they're so much taller than the guy.

[xxoo]

Jasom Statham is 5'9 but very nice body build, do you think would feel equally feminine in his presence or a guy that you like that has his body build when compared to a taller guy that's literally looming over you?

 

You didn't ask me, but I'd feel plenty feminine next Jason Stratham.

 

Yes, please

[Miss Spider]

I haven't noticed threshold. Conversely, I've have noticed that generally the taller the woman the less she cares. It's so weird. Some complex there. Some tall girls I know love short men. I guess I'd be weird for me to prefer shorter men because theyre rare. But height matters way more to my friends on the shorter side <5'5". They will even say "he was cute but way too short" or "if they're under 6" don't talk to me" I'm like wtf? If you think he's cute, date him. I would definitely date a guy shorter than my preference if I thought he was cute. Like Jason stratham, yes lol. Makes no sense lol. Women I know/talk who are average height like recentchange at 5'6" ..and taller usually say they do not care. My friend who is 5' at most will not date a guy who isn't super tall...and super tall should be like 5'7 to her haha but no she means 6"3.

[njoylife]

The thing is those women still wind up with someone even with those standards, especially if they're attractive enough. Attractive women can hold out for specific traits they want due to having a lot of options. What's a bit weird though is that a lot of women can clearly state they don't want a short guy & there's no hate towards them in society, but if a guy says he's not dating women over a specific weight than all hell breaks loose & if it was some famous guy that for some reason said that he'd be given death threats thrown his way on social media most likely.

 

I've heard of some woman not caring if she's taller in heels, but the majority do care. And the ones that prefer short guys tend to be the women that are really short themselves. So some 5'1" women prefer guys that are maybe in the 5'4"-5'8" range at most & think it would be too awkward for them if they're going with a guy a foot taller. So it's like with some women where they want someone taller than them but not too much taller. Than there's some that have an actually fetish for it which I've heard about, where some tall women only exclusively date short guys. That's probably really rare but I seen a video on it where it just turns them on that they're so much taller than the guy.

 

I have an observation that the shortest women I seen have a hug thing about super tall guys, I think it may have something to do with their kids being normal height rather than being super short (in case they go with average height guy).

 

About the most attractive women, yes, they have an option of dating a super hot guy who is 4 inches taller than them and 8-9-10 inches taller than them. They can choose. And again, after a certain threshold of height is passed, height looses it's value and other features become more important, so those super attractive women would also consider other qualities So even if the woman is super hot, the attraction rules are valid of her as well, meaning if she reaches the chin/nose of the guy, that's sufficient height difference, so she would go for the one who makes her smile more I guess.

 

Now, you're going to tell me that most of the super hot attractive women have a certain standards for the guy to be much much taller than them rather then being "normally taller" than her? I don't buy that How tall are you btw?

[njoylife]

I haven't noticed threshold. Conversely, I've have noticed that generally the taller the woman the less she cares. It's so weird. Some complex there. Some tall girls I know love short men. I guess I'd be weird for me to prefer shorter men because theyre rare. But height matters way more to my friends on the shorter side <5'5". They will even say "he was cute but way too short" or "if they're under 6" don't talk to me" I'm like wtf? If you think he's cute, date him. I would definitely date a guy shorter than my preference if I thought he was cute. Like Jason stratham, yes lol. Makes no sense lol. Women I know/talk who are average height like recentchange at 5'6" ..and taller usually say they do not care. My friend who is 5' at most will not date a guy who isn't super tall...and super tall should be like 5'7 to her haha but no she means 6"3.

 

Honestly, that's so weird I don't know what to say, is it something to do with our nature or brainwashing lol.

The only thing I come up with is the shorter the woman is, the bigger chance of having a normal height children when dating a taller guy. Imagine a 5 feet woman with a 5'8 guy. Chances of their kids being tall goes down a lot.

 

But again, that friend who is 5', how old is she, and which country is that? I noticed in USA women tend to obsess about height way more than any other nation?

 

They will even say "he was cute but way too short" or "if they're under 6" don't talk to me"

 

How old are they? Have you seen this actually happening in front of you? Have you seen the actual guys who approached them? There are lots of factors....

[Miss Spider]

I have an observation that the shortest women I seen have a hug thing about super tall guys, I think it may have something to do with their kids being normal height rather than being super short (in case they go with average height guy).

 

About the most attractive women, yes, they have an option of dating a super hot guy who is 4 inches taller than them and 8-9-10 inches taller than them. They can choose. And again, after a certain threshold of height is passed, height looses it's value and other features become more important, so those super attractive women would also consider other qualities So even if the woman is super hot, the attraction rules are valid of her as well, meaning if she reaches the chin/nose of the guy, that's sufficient height difference, so she would go for the one who makes her smile more I guess.

 

Now, you're going to tell me that most of the super hot attractive women have a certain standards for the guy to be much much taller than them rather then being "normally taller" than her? I don't buy that

 

I agree with you 100%. The overwhelming majority of super hot women would never turn down a hot guy for being "too short"....If you approach a hot woman and she's attracted to you she will be thrilled:love:

 

Also agree about the overcompensation thing observing some of my friends...samd as really short guys have a fetsish for super tall women.

[njoylife]

Honestly, that's so weird I don't know what to say, is it something to do with our nature or brainwashing lol.

The only thing I come up with is the shorter the woman is, the bigger chance of having a normal height children when dating a taller guy. Imagine a 5 feet woman with a 5'8 guy. Chances of their kids being tall goes down a lot.

 

But again, that friend who is 5', how old is she, and which country is that? I noticed in USA women tend to obsess about height way more than any other nation?

 

 

How old are they? Have you seen this actually happening in front of you? Have you seen the actual guys who approached them? There are lots of factors....

 

Regarding mr.Statham, do you think he can compensate with his presence that feeling you like to have when the guy "looms over you" and how important is that specific feeling for you in the bigger picture when considering all factors?

[NJ123]

I have an observation that the shortest women I seen have a hug thing about super tall guys, I think it may have something to do with their kids being normal height rather than being super short (in case they go with average height guy).

 

About the most attractive women, yes, they have an option of dating a super hot guy who is 4 inches taller than them and 8-9-10 inches taller than them. They can choose. And again, after a certain threshold of height is passed, height looses it's value and other features become more important, so those super attractive women would also consider other qualities So even if the woman is super hot, the attraction rules are valid of her as well, meaning if she reaches the chin/nose of the guy, that's sufficient height difference, so she would go for the one who makes her smile more I guess.

 

Now, you're going to tell me that most of the super hot attractive women have a certain standards for the guy to be much much taller than them rather then being "normally taller" than her? I don't buy that How tall are you btw?

 

Yeah, that's another thing, that they worry about their kids growing up short. It's crazy that they go so far as to even think about it in that way too.

 

Yeah, probably. But some just exclusively want guys that are a lot taller than them. I can't tell you how many times I've seen on OLD of women stating in their profiles, "please don't contact me if you're not 6 foot", or something about where they state they only date tall guys. And the match.com issue where even women on there that were 5'2" still preferred men that were like 5'8" & taller. 90% of the women on there eliminated me from their preferences just based on that.

 

I think what it comes down to is it depends on the individual woman. I take it back by using the word the majority, but a lot don't want to be taller than the guy even in heels, others only want the guy to be taller than her without any heels on or anything. It varies by the person. It's too complicated since not every person is the same, but the agreed notion is that in general the vast majority of women want the guy to be taller. In terms of whether they mean with heels or not varies by the woman. And I'm 5'6" barefoot, 5'7" with shoes on.

Edited October 20, 2016 by NJ123

[Fishfingersareyummy]

...samd as really short guys have a fetsish for super tall women.

 

Do we? I think you need to stop generalizing because I am 5'5 and I am attracted to women of all heights. I don't have fetishes.

[njoylife]

Yeah, that's another thing, that they worry about their kids growing up short. It's crazy that they go so far as to even think about it in that way too.

 

Yeah, probably. But some just exclusively want guys that are a lot taller than them. I can't tell you how many times I've seen on OLD of women stating in their profiles, "please don't contact me if you're not 6 foot", or something about where they state they only date tall guys. And the match.com issue where even women on there that were 5'2" still preferred men that were like 5'8" & taller. 90% of the women on there eliminated me from their preferences just based on that.

 

I think what it comes down to is it depends on the individual woman. I take it back by using the word the majority, but a lot don't want to be taller than the guy even in heels, others only want the guy to be taller than her without any heels on or anything. It varies by the person. It's too complicated since not every person is the same, but the agreed notion is that in general the vast majority of women want the guy to be taller. In terms of whether they mean with heels or not varies by the woman.

 

The dating profiles is a different game, first of all those dating websites are from USA, the only country that I can say is considerably brainwashed about height, I"m from Europe, In all dating sites and tinder etc have never seen anything about height. Second, they say it coz they have the option to say it, in real life, they wouldn't care that much. Plus this research about the dating sites, didn't specify what's the exact height of all women who wrote if u are not 6 and above don't write to me.

 

But some just exclusively want guys that are a lot taller than them.

 

How many? Out of 1000, how many do you think would want to date guys that are exclusively taller than them, meaning 9-10 inch difference? I don't think there's any research on that .... and I don't believe it's many....

Edited October 20, 2016 by njoylife

[NJ123]

The dating profiles is a different game, first of all those dating websites are from USA, the only country that I can say is considerably brainwashed about height, I"m from Europe, In all dating sites and tinder etc have never seen anything about height. Second, they say it coz they have the option to say it, in real life, they wouldn't care that much. Plus this research about the dating sites, didn't specify what's the exact height of all women who wrote if u are not 6 and above don't write to me.

 

 

 

How many? Out of 1000, how many do you think would want to date guys that are exclusively taller than them, meaning 9-10 inch difference? I don't think there's any research on that ....

 

Yeah, probably in the U.S. it's more of an issue than anywhere else in the world. Who knows why that is. I'm not sure how tall they all were who stated that, I don't remember since I don't care about a woman's height myself

 

Who knows. But the heel factor is true to a lot of women. If a woman loves to wear heels & if she has a big hangup about the guy being shorter than her in heels it's going to make her feel uncomfortable & not feminine anymore. At the end of the day it comes down to the individual person as I said. A lot will care, a lot won't about the heels issue.

 

And if you mean a lot taller even without heels than that only comes down to whether the woman only exclusively wants guys that are 6'0"+ & she's really short herself.