Versacehottie Posted December 2, 2015 Share Posted December 2, 2015 Nice well thought out response. Here's where the problem came in and why she probably hasn't answered. You said you weren't that tall, dodged the question of height vaguely and then still didn't answer it. So it makes it sound like you are now insecure about your height I genuinely don't know what my height is though so I was just telling it how it is really since she straight up asked me "how tall is not tall?" in effect asking me how tall I was. To be honest I might just be straight up and confident and ask her out regardless, I can deal with a 'no'. You can approach it with humor and yes directly ask her out. Idk, something like: since I really don't know my height I've been polling my friends, then some banter about what responses you've gotten, done tongue in cheek and then sum it up with an actual answer to height such as the I was eye to eye with the 7-11 clerk and he said he was x so I guess that's what it is. I don't know make it your own. But I would answer the question in a funny way and in your next convo that shows confidence AND a good,playful sense of humor (which is as I understand it, what tops most girls lists!!!!). I think she might say yes. Though if she is in college she may not have surpassed the point where superficial qualities are as important as other real ones. and ok, how do you not even know ABOUT how tall you are? don't you have a drivers license? And speaking of 7-11 they have a height chart right as you are walking out (for robbery identification purposes) as do some banks. Are you about 5'10? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Xiomn Posted December 2, 2015 Author Share Posted December 2, 2015 You can approach it with humor and yes directly ask her out. Idk, something like: since I really don't know my height I've been polling my friends, then some banter about what responses you've gotten, done tongue in cheek and then sum it up with an actual answer to height such as the I was eye to eye with the 7-11 clerk and he said he was x so I guess that's what it is. I don't know make it your own. But I would answer the question in a funny way and in your next convo that shows confidence AND a good,playful sense of humor (which is as I understand it, what tops most girls lists!!!!). I think she might say yes. Though if she is in college she may not have surpassed the point where superficial qualities are as important as other real ones. and ok, how do you not even know ABOUT how tall you are? don't you have a drivers license? And speaking of 7-11 they have a height chart right as you are walking out (for robbery identification purposes) as do some banks. Are you about 5'10? Nice tip about asking friends about height might do that, thanks for the advice, appreciate it. I have a provisional drivers license but it doesn't have height on it...? Also I'm in the UK and we don't have 7-11 stores. Never bothered to measure myself before as I don't see why it's important information to me. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted December 2, 2015 Share Posted December 2, 2015 Explain Sarah Jessica Parker to me then. She is fit, works out but I don't find her attractive. Well not all short women are pretty and neither are all tall women. Besides, SJP is already married and off the market. Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted December 2, 2015 Share Posted December 2, 2015 There's a huge Asian population world wide so definitely there should be np. Not just Asians, but alot of American women are short as well. There seems to be more short people than tall here. Link to post Share on other sites
Versacehottie Posted December 2, 2015 Share Posted December 2, 2015 Well, you can buy a tape measure easily. 60" is 5 feet. Every 12" is another foot. I guessed 5'10 because you didn't say you knew you were short. Let's take your friend group for example. Or better yet, larger sample size, just a group of guys. If you are short in the group of guys, you are probably 5'7-5'8". If you are about average, you are probably 5'9-5'11". If you are taller than the group you are probably 6' or above. Since you didn't know, I'm guessing you are in the average category (for height, humor above average!). Then I just picked the middle of that range. Let me know what it is. And/or you can do what I'm saying as a piece of humor. Ask a friend who is your same height, how tall he is! Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted December 2, 2015 Share Posted December 2, 2015 I'm 5'3'' so no, height is not an issue as everyone is taller than me. That being said why do you make this about YOU not being tall enough. Have you thought how difficult this woman's dating life must be? Over here when a woman as reached 5'8'' she's too tall for men 2 Link to post Share on other sites
LoveRefreshed Posted December 2, 2015 Share Posted December 2, 2015 I'm 5'3'' so no, height is not an issue as everyone is taller than me. That being said why do you make this about YOU not being tall enough. Have you thought how difficult this woman's dating life must be? Over here when a woman as reached 5'8'' she's too tall for men I have a hard time caring about women who have hard dating lives based on self imposed superficial exclusionary criteria. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
No_Go Posted December 2, 2015 Share Posted December 2, 2015 Out of topic, but what is this word, i.e. hot, referring to when describing a person? E.g. if a woman is hot, does it mean she's beautiful (cause I've heard it for butt-ugly women, with toned bodies... Either the beauty is in the eye of the beholder, or I don't understand the "hot" definition) On topic: height for men matters, because women usually like to feel feminine... If bigger than the guy, they appear large, clumsy etc. It is all about the reference point. But since even the shortest guy in a group is taller than a bunch of women, it shouldn't be a big deal for the short men. Also short can be compensated by strong built, attractive face, personality etc. Not really. A guy can't really force himself to grow taller. A women can become hotter by working out and losing weight. Link to post Share on other sites
bubbaganoosh Posted December 2, 2015 Share Posted December 2, 2015 I got a good friend that's 6'5" and 260 pounds and he's married to a woman whose 4'10" and 92 pounds and honestly they look really odd together, the butt of jokes but it doesn't bother them at all so I guess to a lot of people it makes no difference. Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted December 2, 2015 Share Posted December 2, 2015 Out of topic, but what is this word, i.e. hot, referring to when describing a person? E.g. if a woman is hot, does it mean she's beautiful (cause I've heard it for butt-ugly women, with toned bodies... Either the beauty is in the eye of the beholder, or I don't understand the "hot" definition) hot = sexy OP, honestly if the woman said she prefers tall men why even try to date her? Just move on to short women. Link to post Share on other sites
TheBathWater Posted December 2, 2015 Share Posted December 2, 2015 on OLD stats are everything. This is why I have more success live and in person than on OLD. I'm under 6'0 but I've dated women taller than me - ones I've met in person. I say height is more of an OLD thing than anything else. I completely agree. I've been with taller women, but never from the internet. Link to post Share on other sites
Oregon_Dude Posted December 2, 2015 Share Posted December 2, 2015 I'm 5'9" and pretty much only have success with short girls (5'3" and under). It is what it is. Play to your strengths. Link to post Share on other sites
kismetkismet Posted December 2, 2015 Share Posted December 2, 2015 I haven't read the whole thread but i'll put in my two cents on the OP If she's quite tall she might be insecure about her height, and as a result will only date taller guys. I have a couple of friends that are like this. If that's true of her (that she's insecure), then what you said in that convo could have come off as a bit insulting. Or at least a little insensitive. As for your original question, I don't really factor height in too much in terms of attraction. However I'm not quite 5"3 so guys are pretty much all just varying degrees of taller than me. My current boyfriend is probably only like 5"6 or 5"7. Being 100% honest, i do prefer a BIT taller than that because i don't like to be taller than him when I wear heels really, and I like to wear pretty high heels. But it's similar to how some guys I'm sure would technically prefer a BIT skinnier, or a BIT bigger boobs/bum whatever. It's absolutely not a deal breaker and on the whole I'm more attracted to my current boyfriend than I have ever been to anyone. And "tall" on it's own isn't an objectively good quality on it's own. It's relative to both the height of the girl, and to personal preference. I actually tend to prefer guys that are under 6 foot because when they're taller than that it's a bit awkard.. we don't really *fit*. I dated a guy that was 6"3 and he was always having to lean down, and when he was on top during sex his head was too far above me haha. Tall girls tend to be more sensitive to height I think as well. My friend that is 5"8 and insecure about it is all 'the taller the better!' but for me as long as they are just taller than me, HOW much taller they are doesn't matter too much. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted December 2, 2015 Share Posted December 2, 2015 For very tall women like the one OP is talking to who is 5'11 height is a much bigger factor. Not all tall women have the confidence to date much shorter men because they already feel self conscious & think the mis-match makes them look like freaks. In college several of my sorority sisters were over 6'. They would not date men who were not at least as tall as them. So OP, if you are not at least her height don't bother. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Xiomn Posted December 2, 2015 Author Share Posted December 2, 2015 I haven't read the whole thread but i'll put in my two cents on the OP If she's quite tall she might be insecure about her height, and as a result will only date taller guys. I have a couple of friends that are like this. If that's true of her (that she's insecure), then what you said in that convo could have come off as a bit insulting. Or at least a little insensitive. Yeah, I guess i didn't pick up on that in the text (downside to texting), even though I guess the 2 blush emotes she messaged was a signal.., silly me. She went from replying instantly to not replying at all now so oh well, moving on. Link to post Share on other sites
TheBathWater Posted December 2, 2015 Share Posted December 2, 2015 I'm 5'9" and pretty much only have success with short girls (5'3" and under). It is what it is. Play to your strengths. Really? I'm 5'6" (well, maybe 5'7" on a good day) and probably most women I see are around my height (5'4"-5'7"). I've gone shorter and taller as well. Link to post Share on other sites
Toodaloo Posted December 3, 2015 Share Posted December 3, 2015 Someone should start a thread "How important is someones weight to you?" Smackie are you feeling nawty today??? Link to post Share on other sites
newt Posted December 3, 2015 Share Posted December 3, 2015 I would ignore it because I'm a tall guy and see short guys all the time walking with am attractive female while I'm walking alone. So don't take those height requirements seriously. Link to post Share on other sites
Toodaloo Posted December 3, 2015 Share Posted December 3, 2015 Sorry Toodles, my direct experience tells me women like and are attracted to confident funny men who are comfortable with themselves but you certainly get bonus points for being tall. Most girls will only date men they are initially attracted to (no dis here, I only date women I am attracted to physically) and they don't realize if a man is confident and funny or not until they have a conversation. That conversation never has a chance for a lot of short men. I have been told by many women that they like that I am tall, that she can wear heels without concern, etc.. I'm only 5' 11", so I'm not really tall. Other women, another taller woman even, have told me that the fact I am a broad shouldered brute makes up for me not being super tall. Girls just want to feel secure with a man.. they want to know that the man will take care of physical business when it's needed. So the idea that height doesn't matter is false, but it's not everything for sure! Unfortunately, you can't grow taller, but you can wear shoes that add a half an inch when you go out, no problem. Also, if you're only a 5'6" man, you're in luck, there are a lot of 5'2" women. Finally, the whole idea that height isn't changeable but someone can change their weight to become more attractive.. not entirely true. Some people are butterfaces, and some people are butterpersonalities. 5ft 11 is not "tall". I look at these dating sites and all the guys are tall good looking and the confidence of a knat. Hence still single. I have a few suitors I am talking to at the moment and the short ginger one is so far at the top of my list. He is shorter than you. Has an "unattractive" hair colour, but funnily enough I like him the most because he is practical, fun, grounded, adventurous, stalwart, reliable, easy to talk to, works hard, has his priorities in the right place, thinks of others, does what he feels is right not just "right for him", he is secure in himself... do you want me to go on because I can... Link to post Share on other sites
Eternal Sunshine Posted December 3, 2015 Share Posted December 3, 2015 Two of the most attractive and charismatic men I have met in my life were only 5'8". Unfortunately, if I saw them on an OLD site, I would pass them over. In OLD, stats are everything. And 5'8" usually means 5'6". 1 Link to post Share on other sites
lilmissjava Posted December 3, 2015 Share Posted December 3, 2015 I am 5'10 and have never been given the opportunity to date a guy that is shorter. But, I would find it odd if I talked to someone OLD that didn't know how tall they were. Link to post Share on other sites
Maggie4 Posted December 3, 2015 Share Posted December 3, 2015 Really? I'm 5'6" (well, maybe 5'7" on a good day) You can add an inch to your height on a good day? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
newt Posted December 3, 2015 Share Posted December 3, 2015 Two of the most attractive and charismatic men I have met in my life were only 5'8". Unfortunately, if I saw them on an OLD site, I would pass them over. In OLD, stats are everything. And 5'8" usually means 5'6". I just thought a handsome face would trump height when browsing a profile. But you are right it's all about stats on a dating site. Link to post Share on other sites
Eternal Sunshine Posted December 3, 2015 Share Posted December 3, 2015 I was chatting to a guy on Tinder last night that I found cute and funny (no height on there) Then.... He said "you look really tall on your pics, how tall are you?" I was like "5'8", why?" Him: "I need to disclose something..hope you are not turned off" Me:"???" Him: "I am 5'8" tall too and I know women don't date guys that are their height or shorter so..." and he went on and on. I stopped responding not because of his height but because I found the whole conversation and major turn off. If it wasn't for that, I would have met him in person without knowing his height... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
LookAtThisPOst Posted December 3, 2015 Share Posted December 3, 2015 I have cared in the past, but then somehow a bf along the way was on the shorter side and I've never cared since. I do get it from both sides. I think it's shallow to say you want a guy of a certain height or above. But as a girl you tend to feel more feminine if your guy is taller than you and if you can wear heels freely. It's a personal preference, same as other qualities people prefer or get hung up on. Look at it like this, if you have an opportunity with a girl and it otherwise goes well but she is still resisting because of your height, you are probably better off just letting her keep moving. When you relayed your convo though above, I think you both did pretty fine. Here's where the problem came in and why she probably hasn't answered. You said you weren't that tall, dodged the question of height vaguely and then still didn't answer it. So it makes it sound like you are now insecure about your height instead of being like f*ck it, i'm great and you can obviously see it with how I tackle this line of questioning with humor and confidence. You shied away from taking a chance to be really confident, that would have won you points and made it a non-issue if there was a chance at all to be a non-issue. By not answering it, she thinks you have something to hide or are "less than" or intimidated in some way--even though you clearly started the convo off as NOT intimated. She also might be (not)reacting because she told your her height which maybe she fears you now have an issue with. Next time (or this time if you can resurrect) just take the bull by the horns. You can't change your height so you might as well approach these things with a f*ck it attitude. A couple of guys have done that to me (I can't even remember the things I was objecting to!) and made it a non issue with their confidence and head-on approach. Good luck I can't say I entirely blame "taller women" , when I say that, I mean a woman that's taller than the average woman's height which is probably 5'8" or taller. 5'8" is tall for a woman. But if I meet a woman that is like 5'4", but counts here heels as part of that, which she says, "Well, I am 5'4", but I wear 4-inch heels, so I expect my man to be much taller . ie - 6 feet. When women start doing the math on their heel length to account for their natural height, that's just plan shallow. "I want man to be taller than me...while I'm in heels!" I mean...really? Seriously? Link to post Share on other sites
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