Consolidated Discussion: Height in Dating

[Kirsty91]

I'd just like to add to this topic:

personally as a woman I think that a 6-10 inch height difference is the sweet spot between a woman and her man. That's just my preference though!

[brigit87]

I think it depends on a person's definition of masculinity and power. What is masculinity? Vigor, potency, ruggedness, social status, manly values, etc... My husband has enough energy to keep up with three girls and several kids, community life, etc... He can shoot, drink, fight, and do pretty much else that he needs or wants to do. To me, power is the ability to do work. So...what does he get done? He makes plenty of money, builds things, designs machinery, fixes cars, grows food, raises animals, and is still able to help out in the house.

 

My husband is average height (5'8"-5'9"). He does all these things in spite of not meeting the magic 6' mark. I would never say that he lacks masculinity or power.

 

Your husband sounds great. But for me I couldn't be with a man 5'9 and feel comfortable. I just like em tall.

[nospam99]

Sample of one that just happened this morning, but anecdotal evidence and NOT unusual ....

 

This morning on Match one of my Other Matches who otherwise 'looks good on paper' is 5'2". Her stated height range for What She's Looking For (a Match parameter) is 5'11" to 6'2" - minimum of 9 inches taller than she is. I'm not going to contact her because I assume a height range 3 inches above my height is a 'hard fail'. (Match gets an aw **** for including her in my Other Matches, but hey - they've got a business to run.) BUT if I had tried to contact her AND she typically had simply not responded AND I didn't check women's height filters AND I got LOTS of no responses because of my height (a reasonably likely 'perfect storm') I might just be posting in ISO complaining that I can't get a date. Just sayin'

[Eternal Sunshine]

I am 5'8" or 9 so can't date anyone that's shorter. Unfortunately, often women much shorter than me tend to also have a preference for tall men without even needing to *sigh*.

 

 

A lot is to do with me preferring to feel small/skinny next to a man. Even a very thin 6 foot man will visually look much bigger than me.

 

 

 

Also to debunk waist to hip ratio myth, mine is pretty much perfect and I have been perma-single. In my experience, men largely prefer petite, skinny women and could care less if she has no waist, no butt and hips of a child. That's why Asian ladies are so popular.

[Kirsty91]

I'm slightly shorter than you and hight means a great deal to me. All of my boyfriends were 6ft and over.

 

No offense to shorter men but to me it reads feminine and lack of power. I know intellectually that it may not be true but my instinct tells me to keep away.

 

My husband towers over me and I wouldn't have it any other way.

I feel the same way.

 

I'm 5' 4" slim dress size 6-8, my BF is 6' 1" a bit overweight XL build.

 

I love my high heels though so even when I'm wearing 6" heels when we go out together he's still a little taller than me.

 

Seeing a couple together where she is a little taller than her man just somehow doesn't look nice.

 

I've always been attracted to older and large men, not huge or hulking but just generally large preferably muscle/toned but a little fat can be equally as sexy. When I was a teenager almost all the good looking guys were skinny which seemed normal back then but as I got older the more I've liked men having some bulk on them.

[Veronica73]

I want both personality and looks, they aren’t mutually exclusive.

 

But why do so many girls care so much abouth height?

I don’t know. I doubt that it is rational. Probably biological or something.

 

I think this is a more recent phenomenon...

I disagree. The phrase “tall, dark, and handsome” has been around my entire life.

 

cool in 20 years we will be giants.

Lol!

 

I think it depends on a person's definition of masculinity and power. What is masculinity? Vigor, potency, ruggedness, social status, manly values, etc... My husband has enough energy to keep up with three girls and several kids, community life, etc... He can shoot, drink, fight, and do pretty much else that he needs or wants to do. To me, power is the ability to do work. So...what does he get done? He makes plenty of money, builds things, designs machinery, fixes cars, grows food, raises animals, and is still able to help out in the house.

 

My husband is average height (5'8"-5'9"). He does all these things in spite of not meeting the magic 6' mark. I would never say that he lacks masculinity or power.

 

Your husband sounds great. And I’d love to be with somebody like that as long as he had a kick ass personality, was smart, and had a good sense of humor. But, I do think being short is a disadvantage for guys. I’m 5’8, and for me to want to date a guy who is significantly shorter than me, he would have to come across as particularly awesome in other ways (although he probably wouldn’t be interested in me because of my height!) I feel like I’m not all that particular as far as men’s appearances are concerned... but yet I find the 6’2’’-6’4’’ range to be quite desirable.

 

But I’d date a dude who was 5’3’’ if he was awesome. But probably awesome guys of any height don’t have a whole lot of trouble finding someone.

[JuneL]

Just came across an experiment conducted on college students. Their ideal BMIs for men and women are ~25 and ~18.5, respectively. So, on average, these college students find women on the very low end of the normal BMI range to be the most attractive, but they find men on the very high end to be ideal.

[darkmoon]

short woman here who prefers short men

 

 

I do not like that bend-forward to kiss me, where they kinda hunch down so that their lips meet mine, preferring a body-to-body cuddle, where all the bits fit whatever you end up doing

[5x5]

I'm 5'3" and I have never had a problem getting dates, sex, relationships or even marriages with attractive short and tall women. I also haven't lacked for offers of infidelity from some women either. Likewise over the years, some men have expressed a romantic interest in me as well.

 

In my experience height is not an impediment to getting women.

[basil67]

I'm 5'3" and I have never had a problem getting dates, sex, relationships or even marriages with attractive short and tall women. I also haven't lacked for offers of infidelity from some women either. Likewise over the years, some men have expressed a romantic interest in me as well.

 

In my experience height is not an impediment to getting women.

 

Can I ask how old you are 5x5? I'm 50 and 5'7 and would have had no problem dating a man who was 5'3. (come to think of it, one 5'3 guy I did date was super hot in bed) I wonder if the shallowness about height is a relatively new thing for young people.

[guest569]

I really doubt that this is the main issue. Physical attraction is about a lot more than a woman's hip/waist ratio (never really heard of this until I read this thread), and a man's height. Are you seriously trying to pin all of the world's dating dilemmas to hip/waist and height?

[brigit87]

Can I ask how old you are 5x5? I'm 50 and 5'7 and would have had no problem dating a man who was 5'3. (come to think of it, one 5'3 guy I did date was super hot in bed) I wonder if the shallowness about height is a relatively new thing for young people.

 

I'm in my 40's and I don't find the height thing shallow at all. It's instinctual.

[thefooloftheyear]

 

I disagree. The phrase “tall, dark, and handsome” has been around my entire life.

 

 

.

 

Yep,,,,and in the 60's a "tall" guy may have been 5'11"...

 

Disagree all you want....Just because it was a saying didn't mean all women held themselves to it...The reality is that all of the guys in my entire family are in the range of 5'7"-5'11" and no woman in my entire family married to them would rate less than an 8 by anyone's standards..

 

The reason I say this is a fairly new phenomenon, is that now that women are much larger and heavier, they are going to be more likely to want a larger guy...Just makes sense...Back in the 60's most women were less than 140....now they average 170...Its just going to make them feel less subconscious of their size if they have an oaf on their arm...

 

TFY

[5x5]

Can I ask how old you are 5x5? I'm 50 and 5'7 and would have had no problem dating a man who was 5'3. (come to think of it, one 5'3 guy I did date was super hot in bed) I wonder if the shallowness about height is a relatively new thing for young people.

 

I'm 47, so I'm certainly not a young pretty thing anymore.

 

My wife is 48 and like you she is 5'7". Until she asked me out on a date, she had never dated or been with any guy who was shorter than her. I was also the first guy she'd ever asked out as well.

 

She claims I was handsome and had a presence, that made me stand out over most men. Since I hadn't asked her out, she didn't want to miss her chance with me so she asked first.

 

My ex-wife (who sought me out as well, she said I was beautiful) is 5'6", while my tallest sexual partner (who also asked me and we're still friends) is 6'3". Most of the women I have been with, have been taller although a small number were a little shorter than me.

 

Cue the eye rolls for some, I think it has helped that I look a lot like Matthew Broderick, am very talented in visual arts. Am confident with women and sex. Enjoy talking to women, read people well, am not needy, am very direct, love music, arts and fun. While having the confidence of someone who as a very young man, led and trained other men as an infantry NCO.

 

As to today, I still sometimes see short young guys holding hands with, or kissing attractive taller or shorter women. So I doubt there's slim pickings, for short guys who look good and are comfortable with themselves.

 

I still think that who (how you behave & relate) you are rather than what you are, makes the big difference in dating and sexual success.

[JuneL]

Based on my casual observations, it seems that shorter women have a bigger hangup on this height issue. My height is only slightly above average in the US standard, and while I would like my boyfriend to be a few inches taller (for me, 5.8-5.11 would be great), height is never that important to me. In fact, my ex-bf was 6.2 and I thought he was a little too tall for me when we walked across the street together

 

But let me digress a bit...5x5: Why were you not the one to ask your current or ex-wife out? Is it fair to say that you didn’t really notice them (in the romantic way anyway) before they made the move? We girls have always been told that our job is to send them signals; guys will ask you out if they’re attracted.

 

I'm 47, so I'm certainly not a young pretty thing anymore.

 

My wife is 48 and like you she is 5'7". Until she asked me out on a date, she had never dated or been with any guy who was shorter than her. I was also the first guy she'd ever asked out as well.

 

She claims I was handsome and had a presence, that made me stand out over most men. Since I hadn't asked her out, she didn't want to miss her chance with me so she asked first.

 

My ex-wife (who sought me out as well, she said I was beautiful) is 5'6", while my tallest sexual partner (who also asked me and we're still friends) is 6'3". Most of the women I have been with, have been taller although a small number were a little shorter than me.

 

Cue the eye rolls for some, I think it has helped that I look a lot like Matthew Broderick, am very talented in visual arts. Am confident with women and sex. Enjoy talking to women, read people well, am not needy, am very direct, love music, arts and fun. While having the confidence of someone who as a very young man, led and trained other men as an infantry NCO.

 

As to today, I still sometimes see short young guys holding hands with, or kissing attractive taller or shorter women. So I doubt there's slim pickings, for short guys who look good and are comfortable with themselves.

 

I still think that who (how you behave & relate) you are rather than what you are, makes the big difference in dating and sexual success.

[stillafool]

I'm 5'6 and my husband is 6'4. I think we fit perfectly.

[major_merrick]

Your husband sounds great. And I’d love to be with somebody like that as long as he had a kick ass personality, was smart, and had a good sense of humor. But, I do think being short is a disadvantage for guys. I’m 5’8, and for me to want to date a guy who is significantly shorter than me, he would have to come across as particularly awesome in other ways (although he probably wouldn’t be interested in me because of my height!) I feel like I’m not all that particular as far as men’s appearances are concerned... but yet I find the 6’2’’-6’4’’ range to be quite desirable.

 

But I’d date a dude who was 5’3’’ if he was awesome. But probably awesome guys of any height don’t have a whole lot of trouble finding someone.

 

I know a lot of guys don't have much of a problem being shorter. My husband's ex wife was a a couple inches taller. I think it becomes an issue if there is a difference of four inches or more, so you probably wouldn't have an issue dating someone in the 5'6" area at all.

 

 

short woman here who prefers short men

I do not like that bend-forward to kiss me, where they kinda hunch down so that their lips meet mine, preferring a body-to-body cuddle, where all the bits fit whatever you end up doing

 

I don't like the bend-forward kiss thing either. I don't want to feel like a child. The body-to-body cuddle is where it's at!!! (Horizontally, it also translates into a sex position I like... not possible with someone taller).

 

I think some of it is psychological. Some women want to feel protected by the size of their guy, like he is a huge teddy bear. Me...I want a partner that doesn't intimidate me or remind me of my father, or seem like a stupid ox. My husband isn't physically imposing, so I feel fine. Which is weird, because I know that he could potentially be much more dangerous than most of the 6 foot or taller guys.

 

When it comes to dating girls, I'm ok with taller but I prefer small and adorable. I like them to fit in my lap (back when I had a lap before I was pregnant LOL).

[5x5]

But let me digress a bit...5x5: Why were you not the one to ask your current or ex-wife out? Is it fair to say that you didn’t really notice them (in the romantic way anyway) before they made the move? We girls have always been told that our job is to send them signals; guys will ask you out if they’re attracted.

 

From the age of 12 onward for some reason, some girls, then some women as I got older. Would ask me to be their boyfriend, then with getting older would ask me out on dates or ask me to have sex with them. Now I didn't always say yes, but I did find I could pick and choose as I liked, so for the most part I did exactly that.

 

As to noticing, I've had mutual lust at first sight plenty of times, the nice thing is it seems so obvious to me when it's mutual. That I would sometimes have fun playing coy, just to see how long it would take before I would hear; "I've never asked a guy out before, but..." or "I've never asked a guy to kiss me before, but..." and so on.

 

I even had one Irish woman ask me out on a date, sight unseen following her calling my place at the time, since we had a spare room for rent. Yet it wasn't available and we ended up chatting "I've never done this before, but you sound cool and I like your voice..." I turned her down though, since I was by then 18 months into being with my now wife.

 

I met my ex-wife at a party, she spotted me when I arrived, I hadn't seen her at that point. She asked who I was and asked a mutual friend to point her out and tell me, that she wanted me to talk to her.

 

On having her pointed out to me, I thought she was one of the prettiest girls I had ever seen. I was 17 at the time and she was 16, I said hi, she told me I was beautiful, nice eyes yadda-yadda. She then asked me to kiss her, then 1-2 hours later we spent the rest of the night sharing sex together till dawn. We then started dating after that.

 

...

 

As to my wife today, we met at work where she was brand new in a professional graduate role. At her asking we had lunch a few times, where we were getting to know one another.

 

I thought she was very pretty and sexy, yet she was in a sexual relationship with another guy and I had just started dating another woman who I had sex with a couple of years before. So I didn't think either of us were available.

 

Long story short, another woman at work then started asking after me, my wife's guy at the time who was taller and older than her was rubbish at sex. So she decided to ask me out to test drive me "I've never asked a guy out before, but...", before someone else snapped me up.

 

We then went on two dates on the same day, I slept with her at hers after the second date (heavy petting only). She then dumped the other guy and on our next date asked me to have sex with her.

 

22+ years later we're still happily together (19+ years married), oodles of kinky sex without being clingy, lots of fun, shared interests and compatible personalities (I'm an ENTJ and she's an INTJ). I am not like most men and she isn't like most women, yet we work well together.

[anduina]

Yep,,,,and in the 60's a "tall" guy may have been 5'11"...

 

Disagree all you want....Just because it was a saying didn't mean all women held themselves to it...The reality is that all of the guys in my entire family are in the range of 5'7"-5'11" and no woman in my entire family married to them would rate less than an 8 by anyone's standards..

 

The reason I say this is a fairly new phenomenon, is that now that women are much larger and heavier, they are going to be more likely to want a larger guy...Just makes sense...Back in the 60's most women were less than 140....now they average 170...Its just going to make them feel less subconscious of their size if they have an oaf on their arm...

 

TFY

Take a look at this age pyramid, comparing 1960 to 2015. You can clearly see that 2015 is top heavy for older women. The same problem holds true for average weight for males which has increased from 166.3 lbs for males in 1960 to 195.7 lbs in 2014. That's why the average weight per gender is so deceptive. The U.S. has an aging population which translates to higher average weights per gender.

 

http://assets.pewresearch.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/7/2017/04/11095906/PH_Stat-Portraits_Foreign-Born-2015_key-charts_US-Born.png

[Garlend]

I'm 5' 10" tall. And my wife is 4' 9" tall. When she looks up at me with that adorable little face, I feel like I'm in seventh heaven.

 

I don't think my average height has ever detracted from my sex appeal. My muscular, well-proportioned physique offsets any such negative distractions.

 

I've had statuesque women wearing spikes smile down at me as well. I really don't think they disapproved of my height.

 

The very handsome actor, Robert Conrad, was 5' 7". But he was really one tough little guy in real life. And he was definitely a big hit with the ladies.

 

Sure, everyone has their preferences. But if I were not married, and met a 6' 4" or taller woman who wanted to get to know me better, do you actually think I would tell her I wasn't interested because of her height... Get real.

[Shining One]

I'm in my 40's and I don't find the height thing shallow at all. It's instinctual.

Many don't think their physical preferences are shallow. For example, I find asymmetrical breasts unappealing, but I don't consider it shallow. I imagine lots of other people would consider it shallow though.

[Veronica73]

The reason I say this is a fairly new phenomenon, is that now that women are much larger and heavier, they are going to be more likely to want a larger guy...Just makes sense...Back in the 60's most women were less than 140....now they average 170...Its just going to make them feel less subconscious of their size if they have an oaf on their arm...

 

TFY

 

I know women are bigger now. But so are men. I still think women back then most likely preferred men that were taller than them, all other things being equal. Otherwise, why the phrase? Short, dark and handsome sounds pretty ridiculous if you are talking about a man.

[thefooloftheyear]

Take a look at this age pyramid, comparing 1960 to 2015. You can clearly see that 2015 is top heavy for older women. The same problem holds true for average weight for males which has increased from 166.3 lbs for males in 1960 to 195.7 lbs in 2014. That's why the average weight per gender is so deceptive. The U.S. has an aging population which translates to higher average weights per gender.

 

http://assets.pewresearch.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/7/2017/04/11095906/PH_Stat-Portraits_Foreign-Born-2015_key-charts_US-Born.png

 

I don't need to see any pyramid....I have life experience to back up my observations..Women are heavier and larger than ever....Younger and older...I don't "casually observe" men's bodies the same way I do women, so therefore I wont comment on that...I believe it, though(that they have gotten heavier)...

 

But even if you didn't have statistics to back it up, it's just plain common sense...I have a 15 year old daughter, thankfully she is of normal healthy proportions...She's on summer break..At her age during summer break I did more in a week, than she will do the entire summer...No, I am not kidding......Times have changed and people just aren't as active as they once were...Add to that the abundance of fatty foods and restaurants and you have the recipe for more beef...

 

TFY

[Veronica73]

I don't need to see any pyramid....I have life experience to back up my observations..Women are heavier and larger than ever....Younger and older...I don't "casually observe" men's bodies the same way I do women, so therefore I wont comment on that...I believe it, though(that they have gotten heavier)...

 

But even if you didn't have statistics to back it up, it's just plain common sense...I have a 15 year old daughter, thankfully she is of normal healthy proportions...She's on summer break..At her age during summer break I did more in a week, than she will do the entire summer...No, I am not kidding......Times have changed and people just aren't as active as they once were...Add to that the abundance of fatty foods and restaurants and you have the recipe for more beef...

 

TFY

 

I think it also has to do with prenatal care and childhood nutrition. And possible hormones in our food.

[thefooloftheyear]

I think it also has to do with prenatal care and childhood nutrition. And possible hormones in our food.

 

 

Eh....We grew up eating boxes of sugar laden cold cereal, Hostess junk, fast food, ice cream, yet you would be hard pressed to see one or two legitimately fat kids in the entire school..Boys at least...Maybe a few more girls were heavy, but not nearly the same as today...I drive my kid to school and it seems like half her schoolmates I would consider at least 20+ lbs overweight...

 

The other thing I don't get, is all kids now sleep like crazy....My own kid won't get up until at least 11am in the summer..I thought it was odd, until I found out pretty much all kids do this...That's nuts..

 

You can't burn any calories staring at an iPhone...And that's the life of most younger people, unfortunately...

 

TFY