Was it really a second chance?

[Finalchapter]

I had never expected to post here but here I am. Last year in February, my boyfriend of 3 years broke up with me. We met each other in college and were completely in love. However, around 6 months later we moved to different cities for work but were committed to make long distance work. I had never felt a connection as deep as that with anyone, we would meet each other often and were the cutest couple around. However, two years into the relationship he started to have doubts about us and blamed it on some personal issues that he was going through. I offered taking a break till he sorts his life out but be convinced me that he wants us to work. Yet, a year later, two days before our anniversary, he broke up with me. I was devastated but fortunately withheld myself from acting needy. A month later, he was dating someone else but occasionally kept messaging me about how he misses our friendship and my support. At times I wouldn't reply but at times I would just give in and talk to him..later feel bad about it. A year passed, and he perhaps broke up with the new girlfriend.

 

This Christmas I called him to see if be was doing find, after around 6 months of NC. He was glad and we laughed and talked about a lot. Slowly we started getting closer and I even went to meet him, where we both had a good time. After our meeting that night, he kept saying that he wanted to kiss me. My feelings rushed back. We talked for a few more days. I was also now getting a job opportunity to move to his city and I told that to him. He flipped and said that he doesn't think that we should do it. And all that he said was a mistake. He is confused about his feelings for me and doesn't want to get back.

 

I am heart broken now. I really want him back...I know I shouldn't but if I am not over this guy after more than a year..will I ever be?

[privategal]

I think unfortunately this was just raw sentiment from seeing an old flame

..a passionate kiss, similiar to goodbye sex.

Guys can do that and have zero feelings.

If he wanted you back he would jump at the chance to have you in his city.

Theres someone else in his life mark my words.

So he cant have the ex gf in town to complicate things.

I'd go straight nc and heal and consider that last meeting closure.

That college love was not worthless, it was young love and made each of you a better person.

My husband had a college girlfriend for 5 years, they were deeply in love but life had other paths. It hurt them to break up but it made him see sometimes good bye is hard but best. I got to meet her years later, she is married with 3 kids, he would have never wanted kids, but I thanked her for making him a better person and preparing him to love me later in life.

It hurts but I think you guys might always look at eachother as the one who got away but your timing wasn't right.

Don't be friends, you will never progress or heal or lose that 'some day' hope.

This was his final chance. Cut him off and block him now!

[Finalchapter]

Hi, thanks for the post. I know that it's not wise to be friends with him and perhaps all the emotion we felt was just the comfort of a shared past. However there was no kissing when we met..it was something else that I can't describe. There is no one else in his life currently, I am sure of that because he has been extremely honest about such things. At times I feel bad for him because I know he is in pain too and he also feels additional guilt. Not easy to live as a dumper either I guess.

 

The only problem is...I love him to death. Perhaps I always will.

[cupcakebunny]

He might still be completely unsure. There may be things that he wants out of a relationship that he was just not getting(that may be hard to hear). Or he just didn't see a future with you. Despite all of that, he probably really did love you as a companion and loved your support. It sucks that he's sort of spinning your head around like that. It's supremely unfair since he's likely very aware of your feelings.

 

 

Frankly, I would go NC. You should be with someone that wants to be with you. No hesitation. He needs to figure out what he wants on his own, and you're the last person that can help him with that.