coaster Posted June 7, 2005 Share Posted June 7, 2005 Justin and I have been dating off and on for almost 7 years (mostly on for those years, but mostly off for the last 3 months). When we broke things off about a 3/4 months ago, I had been unfaithful. I look back on it now and know it was one of the stupidest things I have done in my life. That boy is out of my life now and I am happy about it. Now, while Justin and I were broken up, I had met someone else. I wasn't looking or anything, but it happened one night. Nick and I spent the whole night together, just talking. He revealed to me that he was only visiting my town for a few days and was going back home the next night. I live on the west coast. He lives on the east coast. So, even though I knew that nothing could really happen, my heart still wanted to be with him. I kissed him goodbye and we exchanged emails and phone numbers. I thought that would be the end of it but it wasn't. He ended up writing to me all the time, at least 2 times a week and we'd talk on the phone about the same amount. I knew that this wasn't practical, but I guess I was just bored, or a romantic or maybe hopeful. But I let our relationship progress in this way. In the meantime, Justin and I had run into each other at a bar. Both of us weren't with anyone that night (other than friends) so we spent the night talking. Maybe it was the alcohol, but both of us confessed to each other that we still had feelings for each other. We planned on hanging out again. That was about a month ago and our relationship is still tentative, but I really want to prove to him that I am still the girl that he fell in love with. Nick will be back in my town TOMORROW. Again, for work. Justin knows this, for I wanted to be honest with him with what I have been doing in my life. Of course Justin doesn't like it and he will break all ties with me if I see Nick. Now I should tell you something: While Nick was back home on the east coast and he told me he was coming back, I told him about Justin and I didn't know if it would be right for me to see him. Nick revealed to me that he actually had a fiancee (yes, wow) and he was never unfaithful to her (he works in a job where that type of temptation is there... don't ask me how, it's just like that) and he never thought he could fall in love again, until he met me. Now, I'm not naive, and he could be making this up. But then again, maybe he didn't. At any rate, I am torn. Should I go see Nick, or should I not? Although the right thing to do is to drop all ties with him, but I don't want to spend my life wondering. Nick will again be back in August, and I will probably feel this way again, but for now... tell me what to do. Link to post Share on other sites
HokeyReligions Posted June 7, 2005 Share Posted June 7, 2005 Drop Nick and figure out what is missing from your relationship with Justin. If you can't, then drop them both and find some nice unattached men to date until you decide YOU are ready for a commitment. It doesn't sound like you really are in love with Justin, or he with you. Link to post Share on other sites
Cecelius Posted June 7, 2005 Share Posted June 7, 2005 Originally posted by coaster Now, I'm not naive... ... but for now... tell me what to do. Are you sure about the first statement? As to the second, just be honest with everyone about what you want and expect. Oh, and why help another dude cheat on his g/f? At some point in the future, you might meet someone you really like, and you don't want a ton of sordid stories making up your history. Link to post Share on other sites
sarah12 Posted June 8, 2005 Share Posted June 8, 2005 Oh, and why help another dude cheat on his g/f? From her post it looks like Nick broke up with the fiancee before he met coaster. coaster - why did you and justin break up in the first place? Link to post Share on other sites
Author coaster Posted June 8, 2005 Author Share Posted June 8, 2005 Justin and I broke up for a lot of reasons (like everyone does). We never saw each other, when we did we fought. He didn't really want to move further (after 6 years, I would think I'd get some kind of marriage talk, but no). But the real kicker was my infidelity. Oh, and Nick broke up with his girlfriend/fiance. Link to post Share on other sites
Author coaster Posted June 8, 2005 Author Share Posted June 8, 2005 Okay today is the day that Nick will be here. I have told Justin that I plan on not seeing him. Justin is very paranoid about the whole thing. He even called me this morning to find out what I'm doing today. The only thing is, I will be in a place where he might run into me (not intentionally). I'll fill you guys in on what (if anything) happens. Link to post Share on other sites
sarah12 Posted June 8, 2005 Share Posted June 8, 2005 Originally posted by coaster Justin and I broke up for a lot of reasons (like everyone does). We never saw each other, when we did we fought. He didn't really want to move further (after 6 years, I would think I'd get some kind of marriage talk, but no). But the real kicker was my infidelity. So what do you think would change if you did get back together with Justin officially? Cause after 6 years, what you see is what you get. I suggest you get out of it and move on. I know it's hard because you're both afraid to let go of the familiar, but if it takes a break up for the both of you to realize that you want to be together, there's got to be something wrong. Link to post Share on other sites
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